by Saless
The dreadfully happy day had finally arrived. He put on his cap and gown and headed back to join his classmates, waving to his parents and siblings as he went. He joined the line of strangers he’d seen every day for four years. Many were too excited to stand still, talking about what they were going to do after graduation.
Some talked about later that day, others later that week, and still others talked about the years to come. All of them had plans, all but him. Most of them were going on to college. Others had jobs lined up, or were already working. They talked of moving out, of living on their own. He thought of how he hated school, of how relieved he was being out.
Most of them had chosen careers, or at least majors. They knew what they wanted, and were prepared to get it. They were choosing colleges and planning on what classes they would take. The line started to move, the ceremony was beginning.
The students all filed out onto the field, into pre-defined rows. They smiled as they walked out onto the field, waved to family and friends. Flashes went off like silent machine guns from the bleachers. Relatives called out or waved. Friends whistled and called their names. They were the heroes of the hour.
Finally everyone was quite and the speakers began their speeches. Students and spectators shuffled their feet and shifted in their chairs. Everyone else was anxious, but he was bored. He thought the ceremony was pointless. His mind wandered as the speakers went on about the students’ futures, about college and careers. But he didn’t think about the future. The future was just some distant place read about but never seen.
The speakers finished and started calling up graduates. The students all stood up and got ready. Spectators picked up schedules and tried to figure out when their graduate was going to walk up and accept his/her diploma. Each student smiled broadly as they accepted their empty diploma cases.
When all the students were back in their places the speaker told them to switch their tassels to the other side of their caps and declared them graduates. Everyone cheered, some hugging each other in their excitement. He watched as caps flew into the air. He saw the happy faces and heard the laughter.
The ceremony was over. The students started filing off to join their families and friends. They congratulated each other and smiled at each other. For a moment, he felt connected. He felt like he really was one of them, marching off into the future. Then the moment passed, and he was alone, walking among happy strangers towards some uncertain destination.
After collecting his diploma, he rejoined his family and went home to his graduation party. He quickly removed his cap and gown, they were not for him. He felt guilty, he hadn’t accomplished anything. He had barely graduated. He didn’t deserve the attention, he didn’t even have any goals, or any hope for the future. The future was just a misty haze, no different than the present.
This was the sixth assignment in a creative writing class I took several years ago. I can't remember what the assignment was, but this was pretty much my graduation day in a nutshell (I so hated high school!).
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Comments
I can relate
Somehow, my own graduation day was similar. I've never had any goals in life, and to me it was just a day, a day to see friends, to get a diploma, to have a few words spoken about me as a short characterisation, and to part ways, knowing full well that I, unable to make lasting connections with practically all of them, am not going to be a part of their lives anymore.
Yet, it was also different. I never hated my high school. Even now, sometimes I remember my former classmates and their parts in my life. I can still look at the building that predated electricity, and remember fondly the days that passed there, and the people who have never put me down in any way. It is a sense of light nostalgia, that I enjoy from time to time.
Never the one to be in the midst among. Never the one to be away alone. I will remember.
Faraway
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
I was surprised when I wrote
I was surprised when I wrote this that many of the people in the class could relate, too. Being the one that was almost always 'away alone', I assumed it would be totally different for everyone else. Actually, that's not quite true. I didn't manage much alone time in high school, because the jerks seemed to be drawn to me like magnets. I did have a few friends, but not close ones and they always moved away within a year of meeting me. They all seemed to go to Oregon or Idaho for some reason...
Thanks Faraway!
Saless
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
I know
that I felt much the same. The difference was I graduated right in the middle. Not at the bottom nor at the top, but without really trying very hard. Lowest common denominator where I went to school was pretty darn low. Must not hurt anyone's self esteem by making it too hard. On the other hand I knew I was not ready to be thrown out into the world. All of my energies were taken up by surviving from day to day. You really captured some of that feeling with your story. I'm out of high school, now what?
hugs!
grover
Exactly
Ironically, what I did after I graduated was write. I wrote a whole novel. Then I read over it and thought it was juvenile and pathetic and gave up. I might even still have a copy lying around somewhere...
Thanks grover!
Saless
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
Not something I can relate to
I never graduated high school, I dropped out when I was fifteen(second pass on my sophomore year).
Wound up taking my GED at 17 and enrolling in college. I was lucky, I'd already found love, so that wasn't an issue.
I guess that makes us even
as I've never come even remotely close to finding love. Wait, that doesn't sound very even to me... ;)
Saless
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
We are as many people have said
Two countries bound together by a common language but in so many other ways we are so different. One of which is the school system, In my comprehensive school (high school was for the more intelligent pupils!)there was sad to say no such thing as a graduation day, when you finished your final examination's you then had a wait of some two months before you returned to the school office to find out your results..... And that it was it no big big fanfare... Just a sheet of paper with your results written on it!!!
Mind you with my results that was no bad thing, At least the whole school was kept in the dark as to how badly i'd done... Some things are best kept secret!!!
Kirri
From my perspective, you
From my perspective, you didn't miss anything! I guess that's kind of obvious, though. ;) My grades were also not known by everyone, which was similarly fortunate for me! I wouldn't have graduated when I did if my sister hadn't talked one of my teachers into giving me a D instead of an F. School work wasn't difficult for me, it was just boring. Between that and my lack of enthusiasm for life in general, I tended not to do my homework, so it's no surprise I got poor grades.
Saless
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America