He rummaged through the papers on the table, producing a thin booklet, proudly placing it on the table in front of him. There was much smirking going on round the table.   The Floral Tales Part 9 By J Morose

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Introduction

This story contains political incorrectness, intolerance, swearing, sexual references and the usual vernacular references as made by teenagers when their parents are out of earshot. If you want a Disney piece, this is not for you.

The story centres around two teenage boys, their girlfriends and their under age exploits when attending the local rock club.

The roleplay group convenes for the first time. With mates like that...

From part 8...

“Anyway, got just the game for tonight...”

He rummaged through the papers on the table, producing a thin booklet, proudly placing it on the table in front of him. There was much smirking going on round the table.

“Oh, for fucks sake!” said Kev. “You lot are a right set of twats!”

On the front of the booklet, written in big letters were the words 'Macho Women With Guns.'

Lozzock's House – Monday 8:14pm

“Whatsup with 'im?” Wossisname inquired of Wanger, startled by the sudden outburst.

“Dunno?”

“Fer fucks sake!” Exclaimed Kev once more. “You lot are taking the piss...”

Lozzock, lost in thought said quietly, “We thought after the Floral, you would be up for a bit of a laugh.”

“Huh?”

“Well, we know from Stu that you guys used to roleplay and we got this game and never got round to playing it and we thought like, as you were such a good laugh at the Floral that it might be an idea to try it. Like.”

“Sounds good to me..” interjected Wanger, “c'mon, let's give it a go..”

Wossisname handed Kev a tin of Newcastle's finest. “Here, freshly dredged from the Tyne.” He passed over the can and added “Don't be so grim.”

Kev took the can, opened it and reminded himself why he was none too keen on Newcastle Brown Ale. Feeling somewhat foolish, he lightened up a touch.

“Okay, I'll play, but no more bloody mention of the last Floral, sick of being pestered about it.”

“Okay.” They said.

“Let's begin..” Lozzock took up the booklet and started reading the introductory passages from the game, some post Reagan Apocalypse nonsense that resulted in females being dominant. Kev was not paying as much attention to the blurb as he was to his now drained can.

“Okay, characters..” Said Lozzock, passing out various photocopied sheets around. “Come up with some sort of name and then we'll roll for the character stuff.”

Kev looked at the sheet and grabbing a biro, scribbled the name 'Kay' on the sheet.

Then ensued a half hours vigorous discussion about attributes and equipment. Apparently, the skills 'run in high heels', 'hit things with other things' and 'do technical stuff' were the most sought after. The subject turned to attire.

“So, Grammy”, put in Lozzock, “You're the expert on clothing, what do you think?”

“Where the shite did that come from?” Kev was not amused at the general turn of conversation and it showed on his face.

“Well, you do the girlyboy thing on nights out...”

“Yup,” said Wossisname, “Reet well too!”

“Look, I'm not a bloody tranny!”

“Could have fooled us, eh lads!” Said Lozzock,

“Yeah, but you were that bladdered that you almost asked him to dance...” Wossisname was getting more boisterous.

“Yeah, but no but... Oh bugger off man!” Lozzock was turning maroon.

“I haven't revised my previous opinion, you lot are still a right set of twats!” Kev was incensed.

“Resist the urge..” Wanger put his hand on Kev's shoulder. “Do not turn to the dark side.”

“Don't you mean the pink side of the force...” Wossisname was in full flow now.

“Bugger off!” Kev got up and got his coat. He was taking extreme umbrage at the turn of the conversation.

“I'm off,” he stomped out of the room and made for the front door. The beer he had before did not do much for his demeanour.

Wanger got up and grabing his coat, pursued his friend. “Seeya later, just got to sort out young Miss Skywalker here.”

Outside Lozzock's house – Monday, 9:40pm

“Twats! They are all a set of twats!” Kev was mumbling to himself. He saw Wanger leave and come over to him.

“Hey, calm down, man!” Wanger looked concerned, “the lads are only playing about.”

“Why me?” Kev was sullen and it showed on his face, which at the moment could sour milk at a1000 paces with a glance. “What have I done?”

“Well, could have summat to do with the last Floral, maybe..”

“Shite! Gonna tell Anya I'm not doing it again! Her and her bloody ideas!”

“You can do that tomorrow man.” Wanger gestured in the general direction of Wossisname's house. “C'mon, lets go in eh.”

The convincing went on for a few more minutes, with Wanger letting Kev vent off his frustration. In the end, Kev was still sulking but moodily trudged his way back into Wossisname's house.

Peering round the door to the back room, Kev was trying to observe the mood of the others.

Lozzock's Back room, Monday 10:04pm

The lads were discussing characters still and appeared to have calmed down a bit. Kev went in.

“The wanderer returns..” Said Lozzock, somewhat cheerfully. “Grammy, just settled on me character, wanna look?”

Kev took the proffered character sheet and examined the character of 'Maisie the Eviscerator' carefully. Wanger peered over his shoulder and read it as well.

He eventually responded “Good character. Needs more clothes though.”

“Nah, traded them for skills...” Lozzock took the sheet and sat down. Kev and Wanger also sat and Wossisname handed him another tin of Newky Brown.

“Sup up feller...” Kev took the beer and popping open the can single handedly, took a long big gulp.

Kev looked up at wossisname a bit sheepishly. “Sorry, man, things just getting me down a bit at the mo.”

“Granted,” he said, an evil grin developing on his face, “but we reserve the right to point and laugh.”

Kev, taking another gulp of beer replied, “I suppose I better get on with me sheet.”

Kev and Wanger went back to studying their sheets and the character generation rules. During this, Wossisname announced the completion of 'Abacination Willow'. This went on for some time, the lads drawing heavily on the contents of the fridge for inspiration.

Somewhat later and slightly inebriated, the characters had been refined. Lozzock glanced at the clock. “We all done then?”

There was general agreement. Wossisname stood up. “Cry havoc and let loose the dogs of gaming!” He boldly announced. Glancing at his watch he said, “Righto, got work in the morning. Same time next week lads?”

“Yup.”

They agreed to reconvene next week to actually start the gaming. A further agreement was made for everyone to chip in a few quid for the beer kitty.

Kev and Wanger hurried out, hoping to make the last bus home.

On the bus – Monday, 11:20pm

Kev and Wanger were both slightly wobbly. They sprawled out taking up the entire back seat of the mostly empty bus.

“So, man, you all sorted now?”

Kev's reply took a bit of time, mostly because he was not very well equipped at the moment to sort out his thoughts. “S'pose so. You know, you do really well on your exams, no bugger mentions it much, but wear a bloody dress just once...” He drifted off into incoherence at that point.

“Don't worry about it, man.”

“Bloody dress....” kev was rambling now.

Wanger handed him a mint out of his pocket. “C'mon man, powerup.”

Kev took it and popping it into his mouth mumbled, “Bloody wimmin.”

The rest of the 40 minute journey continued in the same vein, Kev feeling sorry for himself, so Wanger decided to let him get on with it.

“S'our stop. C'mon, man.” Wanger stood up, rang the bell and helped Kev out of his seat. The bus, lurching to a stop caused Kev some minor stability problems and he had to grab the seats on both sides of the bus in order to walk the short distance to the door, especially under the disapproving gaze of the bus driver.

Eventually, standing on the pavement, they said their farewells and Kev slouched home.

Kev's house – Tuesday, 6:45am

The first signs of life from Kev's bed were preceded slightly by the shrill screeching of the alarm clock. Reaching out a flailing arm, Kev grunted, bashing the bedside cabinet repeatedly, eventually finding the alarm and pounding on it until the infernal racket was silenced.

“Bollocks!” Kev was not very profound in the mornings. It was Tuesday and as it was a day off from college, he had to work for his Dad, which meant a 7:30 start.

Stumbling out of bed, he threw on the nearest clothes he could find after giving them the sniff test to determine their cleanth.# Covered in the usual, he made his way downstairs to get himself fed and watered

He met his dad in the kitchen, who was tucking into the obligatory bacon sarnie. “Morning Dad.”

“Morning!” His dad was always enthusiastic in the morning, something Kev most definitely was not. “What did you get up to last night? You just came in and went straight up.”

“Gaming with the lads.” was his curt response.

“Fair enough, have a butty.”

Kev took the proffered sandwich and started to eat while grabbing a can of Coke from the fridge and taking in the much needed caffeine goodness.

“So, no more girls clothes last night eh?”

“Mmmnggggghhhh.” Kev swallowed the mouthful and repeated, “No way!”

“Well, that's good then, me and your mother are worried about you, you know”

“Could have fooled me.”

“Well, we are.” His dad put down his butty and looked Kev squarely in the face. “We're just worried you might turn into one of them gender bending wotsits.“

Kev looked away, his face reddening. “Nope, never doing it again dad.”

“Well, that's good.” Stuffing another butty in his mouth his dad said “Hurry up, we've got work soon.”

Work – Tuesday, 10:03am

It was baggin* time and Kev had just sat down next to his dad. They were currently installing the wiring first fix in a new build house in the posh end of Southport. The shell of the building was up but there were no floors in yet, which made installing electrics and plumbing much easier. There was a joiner working there as well, and they sat astride the joists for the first of their breaks. Eric, the joiner always made Kev a bit nervy, as he always had something to say on anything. He was like the Roman Agent in the Asterix books, whom could join a conversation and within 3 minutes walked away leaving people at each others throats. Kev did not start conversations with Eric.

“So, you went out Saturday night then?”

'Oh shite!' thought Kev, 'It's started'. “Yup.”

“Hear you got really pissed then. You recovered?”

“He was well out of it Sunday.” His dad had joined in.

Kev was nervous, Eric had a way of getting people to reveal all sorts of information.

“So, you went with your girlfriend then?”

“Yup.”

“Owt interesting happen?”

Kev looked away. “Nope, just had a few beers though.”

“It was more than a few son, you were out of it Sunday too.”

Kev was now sincerely praying that his dad would not reveal much more. “So, what was the occasion?”

Kev decided to reveal the theme of the night in order to divert the conversation away from any further prying. “Was theme night, Doctors and Nurses.”

Eric thought on for a minute. “So, you went in a dress then?”

“H...How the s...s...shite did you arrive at that?” Stuttered Kev, going beetroot.

“Well,” said Eric, “Seen your lot out on the town often enough. So did you wear a dress or what?”

“Huh?” was about all Kev could say.

“Following the footsteps of a ritual dance,

You are entranced, spellbound”.

Many thanks to Angharad for the proofreading. You are a star.

Apologies for the delay, had issues. Have a good one - Jay

* Baggin - Lancashire word for breaks taken usually around 10am and 3pm. I suppose it is from when taking lunch to work, you would 'get your bag in' to wherever everyone gathered to take their break. Interestingly, it is also the family name of J.R.R. Tolkien's main hobbit character who was obsessed with food. Hmmm...

[edit] # Cleanth - The opposite of filth. You can get covered in cleanth if you take a bath.

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To be continued.......