In My Mind. Poem, by Jessica Morton. Posted with permission, by Catherine Linda Michel

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This was written by a friend of mine, who is a Genetic girl. She wrote it long ago and, to her, it had no TG significance at all. It's only since we met that she showed this poem to me, and _I_ commented that it seemed very poignant and very expressive of the way _I_ feel as a woman trapped in a male body. I have her permission to post this, and I claim NO ownership of it.

In My Mind: A Poem

by Jessica Morton

Submitted by Catherine Linda Michel


 
This was written by a friend of mine, who is a Genetic girl. She wrote it long ago and, to her, it had no TG significance at all. It's only since we met that she showed this poem to me, and _I_ commented that it seemed very poignant and very expressive of the way _I_ feel as a woman trapped in a male body. I have her permission to post this, and I claim NO ownership of it.

Cathy_t

IN MY MIND

By Jessica Morton.

In my mind I'm totally free
to live my life and dream my dreams.
I can be true to myself, like the woman I see
In my mind I'm completely free.

In my mind I'm clever and witty
Intelligent, happy and always pretty.
I'm never dull or bored or shy
In my mind behind closed eyes.

But reality emerges, truth appears
and, in reality, I face my fears.
That I do not like the person I see
I'm out of my mind and never free.


 
 
 
From Catherine Linda Michel: To me this poem symbolizes all those who are closet-bound...afraid to leave their safe space and yet, anxious, almost desperate, to be who they believe themselves to be. They live for those few moments in their mirrors...lost in the image of femininity and the pretense...knowing, or at least believing, that they can never reach the heights they seek, but ever hopeful.

My heart cries for those who will never try to scale the mountain, for whatever reasons. I once was one of those, but I dared, I started up that mountain. I haven't reached the top yet, but I am more sure of my destination and am much more sure footed than when I began my climb.

I hope and pray that each one of you who is unsure, finds your way to what you seek.

Hugs 'n love,

Catherine Linda Michel

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Comments

I dare say...

...that similar feelings sometimes beset everyone. There's even a name for it when it becomes extreme:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/05/health/05mind.html

and women typically handle such feelings differently than men. In a world which defines competence, self-worth, even humanity, as inherently male, almost every woman feels something of an imposter at times, a stranger in a strange land.

All such feelings are tools when grasped firmly. Like nettles, a timid approach can sting one badly.

Liobhan
-----------
Champagne for my real friends and
real pain for my sham friends.”
--- Tom Waits

-

Cheers,

Liobhan

You read my mind!

I can certainly identify with this poem, and even more what with you said about it. That's exactly what I wanted to say about it. In my case it was ignorance that held me back. I hope one day that ignorance won't be an issue anymore, but that's probably a really long way away.

Saless

"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America


"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America

Feelings

I've known that, emotionally, I react to things much as a woman would rather than a male. Is is any surprise that we share the same doubts and feel the same a woman would? We are vulnerable to that insidious self-doubt and lack of confidence as we question our very identity, or deny it as the case may be. Please thank her for this wonderful work!

Hugs!

grover

In my dreams, I can become whatever I desire and fly unchained from reality. If only for as long as mine eyes are closed, I can be me and free.

In My Mind: More than a Poem

Hope Eternal Reigns's picture

Hi Cathy,

Thank you for sharing this poem with us. It's lovely.

with love,

Hope

with love,

Hope

Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.

You spoke for me...

Andrea Lena's picture

...at a time when I cannot speak for myself with those I love. Moving and very sad, almost heartbreaking, but with hope. Thank you.


She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Possa Dio riccamente vi benedica, tutto il mio amore, Andrea

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena