This here is an old story I wrote before I started transitioning, when i still went under the nick Arice McQueen. After the long downtime of FM I wanna make sure my story is safe if one site goes down. It's not my best work, but I hope you'll all enjoy.

What would happen if your body died while having an out of body experience?

Standard disclaimer here: Not meant for children,
don’t make money with this and you are free to post
it on free boards as long as you notify me of it.
This is my first story, so be gentle.

Practical Occult
By Arice McQueen

"Hey, what this?" I ask myself as I grab an old dusty
book from the shelves.

It was vacation and most of my friends had gone to
visit their family while the rest went to resorts. I
was the last living member of my family. My parents
had died a few years before in a car-crash and after
getting to college I could finally leave the
orphanage. I'd been hanging in my room for most of
the day, when out of boredom I decided to visit the
library.

When I was younger I used to read all the time, but
since college the habit slowly died out. New friends,
studying and getting used to my new life in the dorm
took up all my time and my love of books disappeared
to the background.

But now that I had nothing in hand I had decided to
give the school library a visit. The old book was
covered in dust. After blowing off the dust, the
title became clear, "Practical Occult".

"Hmm, this is bound to be interesting," I think to
myself, while I check out the book at the counter.

Once back in my room, I grab a drink and sit down at
my desk to see what the book had to offer. It seems
to start out with some basic exercises to train the
mind, and set it in the right mood for the more
advanced stuff. It also mentions some bits and pieces
that were required for the rituals. I need some
candles, a crystal, a water basin, and an altar. My
bedroom table will suffice as an altar, but I need to
buy the other stuff. I quickly head down to the mall
to get the desired items.

The book starts out with some warnings and
precautions. Since this all looks rather boring, I
decide to skip the boring stuff and turned pages
until I find the first exercise.

Breathing Exercise

To bring you into the right mindset for our spells,
you need to perfectly control your breathing. Lie
down, head facing north. Remove any constricting
clothing and jewellery. Then relax and breathe in
while counting to four. Then hold your breath, breath
out, and keep it out, while counting to four on each
step. Continue in this matter until it feels natural.

This seems easy enough. I remove all jewellery (my
watch), and lay down on my bed. Carefully following
the instructions I start to breath in the specified
manner. After losing my concentration a few times, it
began to feel more normal, until finally it felt
natural to breathe this way. After about half an hour
I decide that it’s about time to move on to the next
exercise.

Relaxation

Now that you have your breathing under control, we
need to start with relaxing your body. While
breathing in the aforementioned manner, focus on your
left foot. Try to feel the foot as a separate part of
your being. Once you feel it, just let it relax, and
move your thoughts up your leg doing the same
exercise. Continue this until you've relaxed your
entire body.

Once more I start the breathing exercise. As soon as
my breathing is steady again, I start to focus on my
foot. “Feel the foot,” the book said. After a bit of
trying it seems that the best way to feel the foot
was to tighten all the muscles in it, and then slowly
release them. A soft tingling feeling remains, as I
go on to the next body part.

After my left leg came the right, then my torso, my
arms, and finally my neck and face, completely
relaxed I lay there on my bed for I don't know how
long. When I start to come out of my state of
relaxation, I realise it’s dark and I suddenly
noticed my stomach telling me that I was quite
hungry.

As I walk into the kitchen my thoughts remain on the
book the entire time. I set the oven to preheat and
have to fight down the urge to continue with the
book. First something to eat I tell myself.

While I sit at my desk eating a pizza I finally give
in to my curiosity and grab the book again starting
to read the next exercise.

Concentration

To completely empty your mind, start with the first
two exercises. Then just relax, and let your thoughts
drift away. Don't try to force thoughts away, but
instead tell them that they will be dealt with at a
later time. After a while, the thoughts that come to
you will lessen, until your mind will be completely
at ease. This can be quite hard the first few times.
To make it easier, try sitting at your altar in a
comfortable fashion, and focus on the flame of a
candle while doing this.

Once you have this under control you'll be in a
trance. This trance is the start of all other spells
and rituals in this book.

Figuring it will be easiest and fastest to start with
the candle, I light one, and set it down on the
bedroom table that I had dubbed my altar. After a few
minutes of positioning cushions and the table to find
a comfortable way to sit, I start once more.

Once completely relaxed I began with the latest
exercise. I try to focus on nothing but the flame. I
wondered what my friends where doing at that moment.
They were probably having a lot of fun on the beach
or such. Recognizing the thoughts as unwanted, I tell
myself that I'll have plenty of time to think of them
later.

Next are some thoughts about school, with which I
have a bit more trouble. But after a while, these
thoughts went as well. Almost. My thoughts lingered
on Eline, a pretty but quiet girl from my class. I
had been smitten with her for quite a while, but was
too shy to ask her out. Finally I manage to get rid
of these thoughts as well, by promising myself I will
take action with her. I’m not quite sure yet on how
to manage that, but I was set on finding out. Only
the flame remained, the single focus point of my
entire concentration.

When I get out of my trance I once again notice that
I have been "gone" for quite a while. It’s already
past midnight and the candle had gone out. I decide
to get some sleep and continue in the morning. Once I
lay in bed, I was still so relaxed that sleep caught
me within minutes.

The following morning I wake up quite refreshed. I
had dreamt about Eline and though I won't go into
detail, let me just mention that I wouldn't have
minded if it were real. After grabbing some
breakfast, I open the book again. It seems I‘m done
with the basic exercises, and ready to go on with the
big stuff. After reading the first few spells I
became a bit disappointed - a love spell, a luck
spell, a friend spell - all spells which didn't have
any direct noticeable effect.

Sure, I could cast a love spell, but when I'd
actively go after the Eline, would I get her because
of the spell, or just because my self-esteem was
given a bit of a boost by the thought the spell
worked? Finally I find a spell that catches my fancy.
This one is bound to be interesting.

Out of Body Experience

This spell will enable you to use your astral self to
travel away from your body. This ritual works best if
there are no obstacles on your body like clothing or
jewellery. Enter the trance. Once your mind is empty,
focus your thoughts on a point about 50 centimetres
above your head. Keep your complete concentration on
this point. Then slowly try to shift your
consciousness towards this point.

Imagine what it would be like to see from this point,
try and picture it, visualize it. If you do this
correctly, you vision will slowly shift from your
body to the point. Once you have this vision, try and
rotate it 90 degrees, so that you would be looking in
front of you, instead of upwards. Then picture your
body where your vision is.

Now try and move your hand. Don't actually move your
physical hand, but imagine your astral body holding
out its hand. If this succeeds, slowly step away from
your physical body. You now have an out of body
experience. To return to your body simply imagine
yourself in the place where your physical body is.
This exercise might require some practice before it
succeeds.

Yes, this is what I want. A spell with a direct
result, no doubt if it succeeded or not. I'd either
astral travel or not, no maybes involved. I once
again lie down on my bed, the candle in sight for
help with concentration.

After attaining the trance, I start to focus on a
spot in the air about half a metre above me. After
going cross-eyed a few times, I manage to retain my
attention on this spot. I start imagining what it
would look like from that point - the ceiling a bit
closer, the bed gone from vision, not seeing the
lower parts of objects around the bed.

As I tried to imagine it, nothing seemed to happen.
Until I suddenly realized it did work, and I now
seemed to be floating above my bed. This went easier
than I thought it would.

I try to look forward instead of up, and this also
went well. Then, as instructed, I try to move my hand
and suddenly find myself back on the bed with my hand
raised above me. It seemed I had gotten
overconfident, and raised my material hand instead of
my astral one.

A bit more cautiously, I began again, and this time I
succeeded. I slowly step away from my body. I am now
in astral form; I finally have proof that there is
magic, or at least something very close to it.

Curious to try out the limits of my newfound form, I
stepped towards the door. Still thinking like my
material self, I try and grab the doorknob. Not
expecting that there would be no interaction with the
door, my hand passes through the knob. Lacking the
resistance I expected I tumble through the door,
ending up in the hallway.

Still a bit dazed I look around. Slowly I start to
realise what just happened. Testing it out I walk
through the door several times. This offers some
unique possibilities. Let’s see if anyone else here
is home. I check all the rooms in the dorm, but
unfortunately, no one is home.

There must be something I can do. A grin creeps on my
face as I suddenly get an idea. Why not check out the
girls’ dorm? I immediately set out towards the dorm
across the street.

This is the fifth room I’ve checked, and still no one
at home. Feeling rather silly about it all, I walk
into the next room and promptly forget to breath.
Eline is sitting on a couch reading a book. She looks
as beautiful as ever. I move towards the couch,
wanting to sit next to her, when suddenly a siren
goes off. Eline stands up and walks to the window to
see what’s going on.

Looking outside she gasps. Getting curious I try to
look as well, but Eline is blocking the view. I stand
there for a moment, wondering what’s going on; when I
realized that it didn't have to be a problem. Since I
was astral, I could just pass through her to see what
was going on.

Standing in exactly the same spot as Eline, I look
out the window. Smoke is coming from the other dorm.
Wait a minute! Are those flames coming from my
window? A burning pain wrecked my body, and I passed
out.

Slowly I awaken. I open my eyes and notice something
is wrong - definitely wrong. The ceiling is another
colour to the one I was used to. I look and see that
I‘m not in my own room, but still in Eline's. How did
that happen?

I try and sit up but only manage some jerky motions.
Hey! Stop that! Eline’s voice says. I try and look
around but can’t manage it. My muscles don’t seem to
react in the same way. “Eline, is that you?” I try
and ask, but no sound comes out of my mouth. To my
surprise she does answer. “Of course it’s me! Who
else would it be?”

This really puzzled me. Not so much the answer, but
the fact that my lips moved. Although the voice was
definitely Eline’s, the words seemed to come from my
mouth. My lips started to move again: “I think the
big question is, who are you?”. I try and speak my
name, but again not a sound crosses my lips. “You?
What are you doing here? And where are you? How did
you move my arms like that?”

Once more I try to speak and say, “What do you mean
where I am. Apparently I’m on your couch, unable to
move!” This is getting truly frustrating. Suddenly my
body seems to jump up from the couch and stare down
at it. Nothing in the movements feels normal. And I
don’t even mean the fact that I’m not in control
(besides some jerky motions). Weights shift where
none should be and the height seems different.

My head looks down at the couch and my lips start
moving once more. “There was nobody on the couch
besides me! Now confess and tell me where you are!”
Looking down at the couch I see part of my body. Or
rather, part of Eline’s body. Half in shock I finally
put one and one together and (try to) say
“Apparently, I’m in your head. How am I ever going to
get back my own body in the dorm?”

I suddenly feel fear rising up and my/Eline’s voice
says “Oh my god… I remember now! I was watching a
building on fire when I started to feel light-headed.
That building was the boy’s dorm!”

Figuring that I can speak up for whatever reason I
try to think at her. Oh my god. My body is still
there! Would you please go there and see if I’m all
right? “Okay, but afterwards I want an explanation!”
she responds. Good thinking at her is enough to make
myself heard. I Promise I’ll tell you all as far as I
can make sense of it, I thought at her. Now please
hurry. Even while I asked it she grabs her jacket and
heads for the door.

A few minutes later we arrive at the dorm. An
ambulance stands in front of the dorm as well as
several fire engines. Eline speaks to a fireman and
asks what had happened. “From what we found, a kid
left a candle on while he went to sleep. Luckily the
rest of the apartment was empty, or there would have
been a whole lot more casualties”. MORE casualties?
Does that mean I died?

A tear drops down Eline’s cheek as she asks the
fireman who the boy was and if he survived. “I’m
afraid the boy didn’t make it. He was gone before we
even arrived. I don’t know the boy’s name but his
apartment is number 3F.” My heart sinks as I hear my
room number.

Depressed we head back to Eline’s room. Can I talk
back to you this way as well? Eline asks. So it seems
I reply, even my thoughts sounding sulky. Look, I
know you are very depressed about this, but I’m
completely in the dark here what happened and I would
appreciate any information you can give me.

I explain how I had found the book, and that I had
been trying to proof that magic did exist. I also
told her that my own dorm was empty and that I came
to see if anyone was at home. I sheepishly admit that
peeking at the girls in the other dorm was part of
the reason why I had come there.

To my complete surprise Eline starts grinning instead
of getting angry. I would have done the same thing
with the boys’ dorm. Surprised at her honesty I
suddenly realise that I normally would never have
admitted about the peeking. Huh? I should act
outraged right now, but somehow I can’t play that
façade with you. Do you think it might have anything
to do with this mind-speech stuff?

That sounds as logical as anything, I reply, what we
think is directly heard by the other. There is no
room to make up lies and stories. Makes sense I
guess. Could you try and tell me a lie?

I love you, she sends to me. Holding my/our breath I
ask her: Was the lie or the truth? I feel our cheeks
glowing as she answers The truth…

This is like my greatest dream combined with my worst
nightmare. I finally find my love loves me as well,
and there isn’t a single way we could have a normal
relationship.

Don’t hate me because of this, she pleads. Please,
say something. I realise I had retreated in my
thoughts and had been silent for several minutes.
Hate you? How could I ever hate you? I have loved you
for several years now. And there isn’t a single thing
we can do about it now. Once again I let myself sink
into a depressing mood.

Snap out of it! She says. We may not be able to have
a normal, physical relation, but the way I see it,
we’re stuck together. I can’t imagine anyone else I’d
rather be stuck with for the rest of my life.
Realising that she has a point my mood return
somewhat.

We returned to her dorm when something sprung to my
mind. There was something I could do for her. May I
try and move your body? I ask. Uhm… I guess so… she
replies, a bit uncertain. I tell her to relax
completely and as I feel the muscles losing tension,
I try and lift her arm. She instinctively moves it
back. Sorry, she says, Please continue.

I once again move her arm and this time it works as
planned. Carefully standing up I almost fall over.
Eline grabs control again and prevents us from
falling in the nick of time.

Don’t forget that you have breasts now. Your centre
of gravity has changed a bit. Blushing at the
thought, I try again, a bit more careful this time.
After a shaky start and walking through the room a
couple of times I set the next part of my plan in
motion.

How about I cook a romantic dinner for you. That’s
one of the few things I will be able to manage. She
briefly takes over again to smile replying I would
love that! I hate to admit it, but I’m not much of a
cook and can hardly manage to boil an egg.

That’s a deal then, I reply, I love to cook, and I
have had no complaints about my cooking so far. We do
need to do some shopping first though.

After getting the vegetables and meat we needed I
started cooking. Eline, who as she said was not quite
a cook, found herself enjoying the cooking, if only
as a spectator.

During dinner Eline came up with an idea. How about
we sneak into your room tonight and see what
belonging of you we can salvage? In my mind I saw the
image of Eline tiptoeing through the boys dorm in the
middle of the night. While grinning at the thought I
had to admit that she did have a point. We had no
real relationship prior to our joining and thus no
way of getting any of my stuff in a legal way.

So in the middle of the night Eline put on her
darkest outfit. I got quite turned on on the sight of
her naked body, but thankfully Eline didn’t seem to
notice. Grabbing a black jacket she said, Let’s go.

We arrive at my former dorm. I tell Eline the
location of the spare key, and she opens the door. 3F
I think the fireman said, is that right? She asks me.
That’s right I said, we need to get to the third
floor. We’d best take the stairs; the elevator makes
a lot of noise.

When we arrive at the second floor we suddenly hear a
door open above us. We freeze and wait, our heart
stuck in our throat. When after a few minutes it
remains silent we go upstairs again and arrive at my
door. Or rather what’s left of it. Police lint “bars”
the room but poses no barrier as we lift it and step
in.

My room is hardly recognisable. The charred frame of
my bed is only barely still standing, smoke stains
are everywhere and a lot of the furniture is half
burnt. Tears well up in our eyes until Eline takes
over again. I hate to interrupt this, but we are not
safe here… Can you pen it up until we are back
outside? Now, what items do you want to take with
you?

I go through my CD’s to get my most cherished ones
and get a couple of my favourite books. Unfortunately
the practical occult book has been burnt beyond
recognition. Maybe the librarian will be able to tell
where it came from. It might offer a solution to our
predicament.

After getting all I needed Eline asks me if I’m ready
to go. Almost, I answer. I move a cabinet over, which
is much harder then it used to be. Underneath I get
an envelope and place it with the rest of the stuff.
I push back the cabinet, and we leave my old room,
most probably for the last time.

Okay, now you got me curious, what’s in the envelope?
Eline asks me. Check for yourself, I tell her. She
opens the envelope and promptly forgets to breath as
she get several hundred bucks from it. I was saving
it to buy me a car but I think my former body has
little use for it now. We’ll have to decide what we
do with it.

What we’ll do now is head to bed, Eline answers, it
almost half past one!

Once in her bed I feel quite warm. Suddenly I feel
dampness between her legs. I ask her if we shouldn’t
go to the toilet before sleeping. She starts blushing
furiously and answers, Uhhhhmm… that’s not it…Here I
am, in bed with the man I love, and I cant do
anything with it…Slowly I realise what the dampness
means and a kinky idea enters my mind.

Don’t be mad at this, but there might be something I
can do…I feel our face shift into a puzzled frown for
a few seconds.. What do you mean? She asks. If you’d
be willing to give up control for this, I could uhh…
help out.

After a few moments of confusion a sly grin takes the
place of the frown. Go ahead, she says, just be
gentle. Picking up control I slowly ran her hands
across her body. A tingling feeling soon spreads out
from where I touched her. As I circle her nipple I
can feel them growing harder. The dampness between
her legs increases and a void seems to be screaming
to be filled. Eline is constantly moaning in my mind,
but since I have control only my moans are to be
heard.

Although I know what to expect as I place her hand
between her legs I am still startled at the missing
of that familiar peace of autonomy. All thoughts of
that disappear from my mind as her fingers find that
little knob of pleasure. I gasp as I continue to rub
her fingers across her clit. Suddenly a wave of
ecstasy flows over me, and I rest my hands.

Don’t stop now my love, Eline tells me, there is so
much more. Here, let me show you. Eline takes control
and enters her fingers into the void between her
legs. I mentally gasp at the alien feeling of being
penetrated. Instead of the tension going down after
that first climax it keeps on building. I ride the
feelings of Eline’s ministrations, unable to move
myself but completely caught up in the action. It is
the most erotic feeling I have ever experienced.

Soon I experience a second climax, and a third. Then,
when I think it can’t get any better she starts
rubbing both her clit and diving her fingers in even
deeper. The ground shakes and fireworks explode as a
mind-blowing orgasm swipes me of my feet.

Quite exhausted we lay there, simply enjoying being
together. I think this just may turn out alright
after all, I say. Yes, sighs a contended Eline,
although this is in no way what I hoped what our
relation might become, I think this might just work
out right.