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April 15th
For many U.S. residents, this is known as Tax Day. To honor this auspicious occasion, I humbly offer my latest drabble. :)
Sex and Taxes
Copyright 2009 by Heather Rose Brown
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
I fidgeted in the plastic and chrome chair as my tax preparer looked through my paperwork. Eventually, she closed the folder, then leaned across her desk and studied me over her steepled fingers before saying, "So, Mr. Williams, was this your first job?"
Not quite having the nerve to speak, I just nodded.
"And where did you hear about this male tax?"
"Well, I'd found these tax advice videos online. ..."
Her smile was friendly, yet professional as she asked, "Is it possible they were discussing mailing tax forms?"
"Oh," I whispered as I tugged at the hem of my skirt.
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Comments
Sex and Taxes
Heather; Are you saying you had a blond moment? Very cute! Richard
Richard
We needed a bit of levity, Heather
Thanks a lot for the giggle, Dear.
Holly
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Holly
Well
at least Mr Williams did not get Excised over his taxes :-).
Kim
Fee mail
Perhaps he's already made a few deductions.
Happy April 15th!
Thank you everyone for your comments. I usually wait until the last minute to do my taxes, so I tend to be kinda stressed around this time of year too. I'm glad my little drabble was able to bring a smile and a bit of silliness into the world. :)
Did he
get any deductions for Capitol Improvement? (You know improving the look of the structure.)
Needed Smile
I needed a smile today.
Thanks for this one, Sis
A great laugh
I got a great laugh from this Heather. Thank you so much because I really needed it!
Hugs!
grover- still chuckling in Carolina!
NEVER underestimate the government's greed
Hi Heather,
Cute story. I almost had to read it twice and then I read it twice anyway. Male tax! What a chuckle.
What is scary is that quite a few years ago the Canadian federal government actually began a debate over what was dubbed "The Phantom Rent Tax". They were discussing the taxation of the rent a homeowner COULD have made if that homeowner had rented out his/her primary residence. Where that homeowner would have had to live if the primary residence HAD been rented out, did not seem to be of any concern to the party that initiated the debate.
Just to show how far the 'government' will go to squeeze money out of us.
with love,
Hope
with love,
HER
Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.
This shortie is almost as wacky as the comdom tax joke
A young man is nervously buying his first condoms, he has a *hot* date, he hopes.
He brings the box up to the checkout.
"That will be four dollars and 79 cents."
"But it said four dollars on this shelf."
"You forgot the tax."
"Tacks?! You mean I have to nail them on?!"
Ah, the classics.
You forgot several other *happy* anniversaries occurring today, the 154th anniversary of Lincoln's death and the 97tth anniversary of the sinking of Titanic.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
I - ONLY - wish the 'phantom rent tax' debate had been a joke
Hey John,
The really sad part is that once some excrement-portal in the government opens any stupid 'can of worms' some even more MONUMENTALLY stupid politician at some point will say "Well, it wasn't my idea. They debated this issue back in..." and before you can shay sit you have a new taxation system.
with love,
Hope
with love,
HER
Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.
Source
It sounds like a great story, but I've been unable to find anything to back it up. The closest seems to be payments made on a condo after the owner moves in but before the development is "registered", which seems to be putting the property on the tax rolls. Apparently these "rent" payments are not applied to the mortage, and are called an "interim occupancy fee". I don't pretend to understand real estate matters, but the articles I glanced at say this is only applicable to condos.
If you have a source available via the Internet, could you please post it? I'd like to see it.
BTW, isn't appending the phrase "monumentally stupid" to "politician" a bit redundant? ;-)
They know they can survive
Tax software
I use to write tax software, phantom rent tax is only marginally more screwy than some concepts in the law.
In the US did you know that if you require special clothing or a uniform to do your job and have to pay for it, you can take the cost off your before tax federal income as an expense? Unless you're a house painter.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Taxing potentual income
I think, I remember this idea from several years ago, but it was some city governments, not Canada, and it was meant to be pro-home owner, but obviously got spun into something else.
The plan was to tax property based on the income that it could produce, rather than its current sale value. In some areas, in some markets (like about four years ago) that could be considerably lower. Basing the tax on sale value can force people out of their long time residences.
It would be effective when used in 'gentrification' areas, where old time residents are forced to move because they couldn't afford their homes during a boom time. (of course, the condition of the house would have to account). It would also be a huge reduction for people in very high end property, because it is usually hard to rent out such places.
Now, if the old type of property tax is also kept and this is added on top (or even treated as real income), that would just be screwy.
Remember
the Andy Rooney speil about the taxes on a loaf of bread. Even though bread is exempt from sales tax, Andy cited several taxes that were applied to the loaf of bread. There was the purchase of the tractor and of course the Sales tax. Then there was fuel and of course the Taxes on the fuel, Buying seed and again Sales Tax. I don't remember too much more of this, but it does go a long way to explain why our tax code is just that a CODE. Maybe even a SECRET CODE!
Only a matter of location
Sooner or later, the way things are going, some developed western nation is going to adopt a head tax on each and every male person, probably regardless of age. Which will be first? The US? UK? Australia? Before it's all over, they'll be "raising" a new crop of strange fruit...