The sirens blare, and everyone goes running. Well, everyone but me, that is. As it stands, I'm tied to an electric pole, and a monster is slowly approaching. This thing looks like a giant cricket of sorts, green with six mouths and about large enough to at least chew my head off.

And how did I get into this mess, you might ask? Ugh.

It started when I ran into two girls in a dark alley. What was I doing in a dark alley, you might ask? Ugh.

It all started when I was running away from this freaky scientist chick. And why was I -- You know what, just accept the fact that stuff like this happens in this town. Mad scientists, giant monsters. Horrible little town. Rent is cheap, though.

This mad scientist was, I guess, looking for subjects for her experiment? I don't want to know the details. When you run into something weird in this town it's best to just turn around and run, sprint, maybe throw your buddy behind you if you're slow. And from there I sprinted into a dark and narrow alley, always a good idea, and ran into two girls changing clothes. I froze at the sight of two naked girls standing in a dark alley for seemingly no reason.

As it turns out, those girls are trainee magical girls. Not very good ones, though. They don't even have a transformation sequence! They have to physically change into their magical girl uniforms, wasting precious minutes as innocent people get their heads gnawed off!

I was captured, and tied to a light pole. Right now the mad scientist lady is playing with me as she waits for the magical girls to finish getting changed.

"Do you figure one put her uniform on backwards again?" Mad Scientist Lady asks.

"How should I know? All I know is that they should be here by now! I've got some Mad Scientist Lady trying to kill me!"

"I have a name, you know."

"And what is it?"

"You expect a criminal to just tell you their name? Next you'll be wanting my SSN?"

"Do you have a nickname or something? Evil villains should have those!"

"Brilliant point! You can call me... Doctor... Hmm..."

She looks around, trying to gather inspiration from the surrounding environment.

"Any suggestions?" she asks me.

"Why are you asking me?"

"I've never been good with names. Growing up, I had a cat named cat and a dog named fish."

I just stare at this lady incredulously. "You're an idiot."

"I'm a genius! I made this cricket monster all on my own (with some help from GPT.)"

"What was that last part?"

"Nothing!"

"Um?" One of the girls I ran into steps out from the dark alley, wearing a ridiculous frilly costume. We both stare at her. "Samantha has a tummy ache. Can we, like, postpone the fight?"

"I know not of a Samantha!"

"Oh. Right. Glittering Lily is sick. Can we meet up, like, this weekend?"

"So we shall!"

"Um... And have you come up with a name yet? I can't just keep calling you Mad Scientist Lady or Doctor TBA."

"I'm working on it! You can't rush brilliance!"

"I'm not rushing, but it's been, what? A month now since you first showed up?"

"I go at my own pace."

"Ok. Can you try thinking up a name by Saturday?"

"Wait. You said this weekend? I was thinking Sunday. There is bingo on Saturday nights, and I know you have cram school in the morning."

"Right, okay, we can do Sunday."

"Prepare to meet your doom on Sunday, Glittering Inferno!"

With that ridiculous exchange over with, Doctor TBA summons a dark portal, and steps through it with her cricket monster.

At the very least, at least that ends that debacle and this girl hurry up and untie me...

I look around. The girl is missing.

As the minutes pass, people return to their everyday lives. A few people stare or even take photos, but nobody bothers to untie me.

"Do you think that's, like, a kink thing, or?"

"Eww."

A mother covers her son's eyes. "Jimmy don't look!"

Thursday and Friday and Saturday pass and I'm still tied to this pole. I've been subsisting off of rain water and bugs that crawl into my mouth. Sunday comes, and Doctor TBA arrives first.

"Is this, like, a kink thing?" she asks.

"No!"

"Then why did you stay tied up like that? You're weird."

"You're fighting elementary aged children!"

"We're just gonna ignore the elephant in the room, then?"

"I was about to ask about that, actually. Why is there a monster elephant here?"

"Glad you asked! This is my most recent invention: the elephant monster!"

"Lame name."

"Shut up! I created this monster through gallons and gallons of blood, sweat, and tears. Not mine, of course."

"I hate talking to you."

"Then you can leave."

"I'm tied up!"

"Of your own volition, no doubt."

"You tied me up!"

"I don't recall this."

"Ugh... Can we just please have the magical girls get here already and save me?"

As if on cue... Nope. Not yet.

"I'm ordering DoorRunner, do you want anything?"

"Maybe something I can eat without hands?"

"Smoothie. Okay."

Once the food arrives, the elephant holds the smoothie up to my mouth so I can drink as we wait for the magical girls to arrive. Some time later, once we finish eating and a game of checkers, the girls arrive.

"Hot as a raging wildfire, Glittering Inferno!" A girl wearing an orange glittering skirt and frilly top steps out from a dark alley. She's trailed by a ferret, or perhaps what you might imagine a ferret to look like if you were on LSD.

"Spirits of nature, heed my call! Glittering Lily!" The girl wearing a green glittery skirt and frilly top comes out just behind the others. The hat beret on her head falls off.

I feel less than secure knowing that these are the girls keeping this town safe. They look like children cosplaying magical girls, and I'm not totally sure that this isn't what's going on. Thankfully, the evil villain seems even more incompetent.

"Finally! You've arrived!"

"Sorry. It takes a moment to put on these outfits."

"No matter! You shall meet your deaths! Elephant monster! Attack!"

Oh, right. Doctor TBA is an idiot, but she did (somehow or another) create an elephant monster. I'm seriously worried about the girls now.

The girls hold hands, and shout out, "Glitter Bomb!"

Fucking. Glitter. Everywhere. And then the bomb part goes off.

Fucking. Gore. Everywhere. The elephant has been reduced to its basic components, that being blood, sweat, and tears.

"You may have bested me yet again, Glittering Kids, but I'll get you next time! I swear it!"

Doctor TBA leaves through a dark portal once more, as the Glittering Kids jump up and down in celebration.

"Where should we go to celebrate?" Glittering Inferno asks.

"Ooh! How about WackDonalds?"

"Um? Is nobody going to clean up the gore?" I ask.

"No."

"Oh."

The magical ferret thing speaks up. "Unfortunately, the girls have run out of magic. They'll need to rest for at least a night or six to recover."

"So normally this is cleaned up with magic?"

"Yes. Sadly, these two are fresh out of magic. If only there were another magical girl that could help out."

The girls seem to think. "Hmm..."

"Oh! We could make one!" Glittering Lily suggests.

"But who? I don't know of any potential magical girls," Glittering Inferno tells her.

"There is one girl nearby with potential, actually," the ferret (?) says.

"Oh! Who?"

The ferret looks dramatically at me. "This one! She holds great magical potential!"

"Uh? I'm a dude?"

"Ha! That's what they all say."

"Uh?"

"Well, the transgender ones anyways. Guess this is how you find out. Anyhow, girl, will you become a magical girl?"

"No?"

The ferret and girls look at one another for a moment. The ferret tries again.

"Young trans girl! Will you help us to stave off the forces of evil and protect the world?"

"No?"

"Would you do it for a Robbie Snack?"

"Do I look like a dog to you?"

"Well some trans girls are into that kinda stuff."

"I"m not a trans girl! I'm a normal 16 year old boy!"

"Ho boy... Denial. Well, let's put it this way: we're not untying you unless you agree to become a magical girl."

"What? Seriously?"

"Seriously. I hope you enjoy being tied up and subsisting off of bugs. Actually, I hope you don't. We have enough freaky magical girls as it is."

"I don't!"

"Great! Then you'll become a magical girl?"

"Are you insane?"

"I've been told that I may be."

"Do I have no choice in this?"

"Not unless you want to stay tied to that electrical pole forever."

I would throw my hands up if I could. "Fine! Fine! Whatever! Magic me up!"

"Ok. You might feel a slight tingling, but this shouldn't hurt."

"Ahh!"

I black out from the pain as the ferret rises up into the air and places its long ears on either side of my face. I wake up in a fancy looking room.

"Huh?" I ask. I look down and find that I'm wearing a frilly skirt and a too-tight t-shirt with a bunny on it. "What the hell am I wearing?"

"Ah! You're awake!" A girl comes running over to me. She's one that I saw changing in the dark alley. Glittering Lily, or if I recall correctly...

"Diana?"

"Samantha."

Something like that.

"Oh! She's awake, she's awake!" the other girl comes running over to check on me. If I recall correctly...

She never said her name.

"Hi! My name is Jessica! I'm Glittering Inferno, and this is Samantha, Glittering Lily! And our super-adorable mascot is Mumu!"

"My name is Mustela, not Mumu!" the ferret corrects her, appearing from behind the couch that I'm lying on.

"Just call him Mumu, everyone does," Samantha tells me. "And what is your name?"

"Gerald..."

"No, no! Not your boy name! You're a girl, so you need a girl name!"

"But I'm a boy."

The girls share a look.

"We're going to step out into the hallway. There is a mirror here. Call us when you're ready."

The girls step out of the room, dragging the ferret with them. I have no idea what they're talking about, so I stand up, and walk to the mirror.

"Eh?"

I look exactly the same. I thought that I might have been magically transformed into a girl, but no? Wait...

I gulp, lifting my skirt up.

"What the hell? It's gone!"

Sure enough, my -- pardon my French here -- pénis (turns out penis is the same in English and French) is gone! And so are its little buddies!

I take a moment just staring at the, let's just say, innie, that was left behind. I've never seen one before. If it wasn't mine, then maybe I would be interested, but as things stand, I'm just flabbergasted.

Some time later, I call the girls in.

"So you understand what we were saying now?" Samantha asks.

"How?"

"Magic."

"What?"

"Magic."

"Why?"

"Because you decided to become a magical girl?"

"But I was coerced! Surely this wouldn't stand in a court of law!"

"You're not very bright," the ferret -- what was its name? Mumu? -- Mumu says.

"What am I supposed to do now?" I ask.

"For starters, you can put on this waitress uniform and go wait tables. We run a sweets cafe to help pay for expenses, and you need to help out."

"What kind of expenses?"

"Uh? Just this month? Broken water pipe, damaged street, burnt cars, rhino sized hole in the wall, we knocked a tree into the mayor's house... That's not even counting all the magical girl related damages that we've caused. Insurance for magical girls is expensive."

"They sell insurance for magical girls?"

"Duh?"

"Oh, duh, huh? Maybe I'm just stupid."

"Yeah."

I take a deep breath. "Okay. So now I've been roped into being a magical girl, and have to put on a frilly dress and wait tables for you?"

"Right."

"This is stupid."

Jessica runs over and grabs the uniform for me. It's similar to a maid's dress, and rather short.

"And what if I say no?" I ask.

"That's fine! You'll just have to pay the magical girl transformation bill yourself, then," Mumu says, handing me a bill.

"They're billing me per the testicle?"

"Duh?"

I throw my hands up. "This is ridiculous! And I can't pay this!"

"Then you'll help us?"

"Fine! Whatever! Give me the dress! And get out of this room while I'm changing!"

"I wish my body had changed. Now I'll just look like a dumb boy crossdressing," I mutter to myself as I change, and then look in the mirror. Oh. Oh crap, I'm cute.

I didn't notice this earlier because I was focused on the missing balls, but I actually do look kind of cute. My body didn't change, but I'd never been manly to begin with. Skinny, short, zero muscles. If I just grew my hair out, I would totally look like a girl.

I head out into the hallway. The bathroom is one way, the kitchen the other, and, past the kitchen, a dining room. I step out into the dining room, where a dozen or so tables are set up. There are a few people here eating sweets.

"Oh? Did you hire a new girl?"

"Another trans girl like Jessica?"

"Is she a middle schooler?"

"Uh. I'm 16..."

"Oh! You look so cute for 16! You'll make a perfect girl!"

"Uh? Thanks?"

How am I even supposed to react when someone says that? My face feels hot, and I feel like I need to hide.

"Oh, she's shy! How adorable!"

"Can I pay for a picture with her?"

"Sure thing!" Jessica says, popping out from behind me with a slice of cake on a plate. "Only $10 per photo for a limited time! And only $10 extra for costumes!"

I'm too confused to stop anything. I awkwardly put my fingers up in a peace sign as Jessica snaps a photo with us, then heads to the back to print it out for the customer.

As it turns out, this cafe is called Glittering Kids Cafe, and is associated with the magical girl duo who call themselves the Glittering Kids. They sell sweets, and you can pay to take a photo with the girls. For extra, you can also have them dress up for the photos. In addition to that, they sell merchandise including t-shirts, magnets, keychains, and more.

After the first girl takes a photo of me, the other patrons also rush to take photos. Thankfully there are only four total patrons, but the last one has me take a photo wearing a sexy bunny outfit that is extremely embarrassing.

Still, that's 50 dollars in like ten minutes, and I'm allowed to take half home as pay. I'm also tipped by the customers when I bring out sweets. These girls seem to spend all day here, eating sweets and gossiping. As I walk around serving them, I also notice that most of them have photos of the girls here as backgrounds on their phones, and one has an acrylic keychain of the duo strapped to her purse.

"That was weird," I mumble as we close up for the day.

"Wasn't it nice?" Samantha asks. "Those girls all seemed to really like you!"

"Isn't it weird that there wasn't a single man the entire time?" I ask.

"No boys allowed."

"That's definitely fair." The idea of a middle aged man sitting there all day ogling the girls makes me want to hurl.

"Yeah. Can't really sap Glittering Energy from guys."

"Huh?"

"Oh. Let's explain that..."

It turns out that having people be happy creates what the girls call Glittering Energy, which they can then harness to use their magical powers. While men also create this energy, magical girls are not capable of harnessing its power. Thankfully, it's harmless while still within people, so it's fine.

Mumu has been resting on a table this whole time, but suddenly his ears perk up. "Girls! We've got a situation!"

"What is it?" I ask. "Bad guy appeared?"

"No! Flash sale at the boutique! I've got to run!"

"What do you mean you've got to run?"

Just like that, the ferret springs out the doorway.

"Why is he -- it's a he, right? -- why is he going shopping at a boutique?"

"He collects women's clothing. He has tons of life sized manikins and stuff to display it."

"What the hell?"

"Eh. Everyone has hobbies. Not everyone gets their kicks by being tied up in public and eating bugs."

"I had no choice in that!"

"Yeah, yeah. Anyhow, we're heading home, have fun explaining being a girl to your mom, by the way!"

"Wait!"

No waiting. The girls leave. I drag my feet back to my apartment, and swing open the creaky door.

There's not a single light on. Nobody is home. Nobody has been home for months, save for myself. Not since my sister died.

My stomach growls, but I don't bother checking the fridge. It's empty. The cabinets are empty. The pantry is empty. Not that I'm super poor or anything, I just order out to eat for every meal.

Once DoorRunner arrives and I get some food in me, I start feeling a bit better and start thinking about what happened today.

"What the fuck?"

Yeah, that was weird. I shouldn't have let any of that happen, but I guess it did, so I'll have to live with it. I'm a magical girl now, and arguably even more important, straight up a girl. At least so far as anatomy is concerned.

I lie down on my mattress, and stare up at the ceiling, wondering where things will go from here. I mean, from how my life has gone so far, the only real place to go is up. So maybe a change like this is exactly what I need!

I wake up the following morning feeling rejuvenated, if perhaps a bit sore from sleeping on a mattress that is, effectively, a brick. But, hey, it's my first real day as a magical girl! Who knows what this might entail?

Turns out, I don't have to wait long to find out. I get a text message from Jessica letting me know that we've got a fight scheduled for 10 A.M. And to get ready for it. I'm not totally sure what that entails, but I shower and pick up breakfast at a nearby fast food place, then head down to the park where the fight is scheduled to take place.

"Oh, you again," Doctor TBA says. "Did you come here to get tied up again? I'm kind of weirded out by that, so if it's all the same to you, you really should just leave."

"No! I'm not into that, weirdo! I'm the new magical girl around here!"

"Oh-ho? You are my enemy, then?"

"That's right!"

Doctor TBA holds her hand out, and summons a giant wolf monster. "Giant Wolf Monster, attack -- ah, wait. Name and pronouns?"

"Uh?" Well, as a magical girl, I guess my old name isn't right. And he/him? I don't know...

"They/them for pronouns..."

"And your name?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"You haven't even picked out a name yet?"

"That's rich coming from you!"

"Is that the way it's going to be, Glittering TBA?"

"Do not call me that!"

"Then come up with a name, quickly! Or you shall forever be known as Glittering TBA and, for your civilian name, simply as Rope Girl!"

I stomp my feet. "Who made you boss?"

She sticks her tongue out. "I did!"

"Grr! Fine! I am... Glittering Love!"

"Lame!"

"Oh, shut up! And for my civilian name... Alice!"

"Oh my god, could you be any lamer? What? Did you just finish reading Through the Looking Glass? Might as well call yourself Glittering Hatter!"

At this point, the girls come running out from behind a building, having just finished changing their clothes.

"Sorry we're late!" Glittering Lily calls. "I was missing a sock."

It seems that Glittering Inferno brought an extra sock, though, as Glittering Lily is now wearing mismatched socks, one green and one red.

Glittering Inferno gasps. "Glittering TBA! Did you not change yet?"

I shrug. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Spin around, strike a pose, and announce your name!"

I do as she says, spinning around, then striking a pose and announcing my name.

"Oh. Well, no points for originality."

"Hey! Isn't that supposed to magically change me?"

"Ha? You think you can learn magic that quick? You're stupid. No, here!" she throws me a bundle of clothes. A sock and scrunchie fall to the ground. "Get changed fast! We're already late for the fight!"

As I run behind a building to change, Mumu magics up some mallets and balls, and the girls play croquet with Doctor TBA while I'm busy. The outfit is needlessly complicated, and some guy walks into the alleyway as I'm changing, turning around immediately as he sees my bare ass.

The outfit is pink, with a short puffy skirt, and cat ears. There are bows and ribbons and lace everywhere! It's like a little girl's idea of a good outfit. I guess that's how magical girls are.

I walk out, blushing slightly. The doctor gets a look at me, and begins to laugh, falling to the ground.

"Hya!" Glittering Inferno strikes Doctor TBA on the head with the mallet. A cartoonish bump rises up from the doctor's head, and she collapses.

"Alright! Good work team! Another win for the Glittering Kids!" Glittering Lily announces.

"Time to go home and eat sweets to celebrate!" Glittering Inferno adds.

"Um? But I just got changed?" I tell them.

"You can keep the outfit on if you want, we don't care."

"I don't want to! But isn't being a magical girl supposed to be more... I don't know? Magical?"

The mallet disappears. Glittering Inferno tells me, "This was a magic mallet, though."

I shake my head. Am I really supposed to be teammates with girls this stupid? And are we really supposed to fight an evil villain who is even stupider? I sigh, and shake my head. Well, it'll be an easy job, at the very least.

...
...
...

On the other side of the city, a dark shadow fell upon the citizens. In the sky, a floating metal ship the size of a hundred football fields blocked out the sun.

To be continued?