The Interview.
by
Angharad.

I'm a lecturer in Environmental Science at a sixth form college, my job is to try and get my students through A/S levels and able to apply for university depending upon the results. I'm a post op transsexual having surgery when I was eighteen and hormones from about twelve when I also had a bilateral orchidectomy. It was all done in Belgium because we temporarily lived there for a couple of years. The UK was still in the Dark Ages as far as gender surgery was concerned and it seems to have slipped even further back since things like the Cass report happened. I'm back in the UK now, I'm thirty and I'm legally female. I live in stealth and as far as I know my employers don't know my history. To avoid trouble I avoid anything to do with gender problems that my students may have, referring them on to the student Counselling and Health Service. I've not noticed any transsexual students per se, but we do have the odd gender fluid one in the college though not on my course.

One Friday, I went in as usual expecting to do my normal paperwork, this time preparing them for a week of fieldwork the next week. It was going to be heavy because we had a lot to get through in order to make the most of their time in the field. It's all local and we're lucky it's on the edge of the town, so we have several sites we can use, mainly because I have actually gone and talked to farmers and park owners into allowing us to do so. We only do the site for a day, then move on to another the next. I have even talked the local water company into allowing us to study one of their sewage processing plants, and we also have an industrial estate another day where we examine the effect of industry on a small stream that flows through.

I like to think it's a good course and they should be able to follow on with university studies without too big a change in level afterward.

I got to my office expecting to grab a cuppa and plunge into my plans for next week and the field work, so I wasn't very happy about having someone disrupt them. It came in the form of Emma who is the general dogsbody in the science department and does all our admin and secretarial support. She is an absolute wonder and worth twice the money that they pay her, but we won't go there.

"Jenny, can I speak to you a minute?"

"If you bring me a cuppa you can have two, but I have loads to do as you know."

She pulled a face, I knew she had loads to do as well, but she is so good. She came back five minutes later with the tea and biscuit, so I knew it must be important if she was resorting to bribery this early.

We sat down and she said, "I have just had a call from Colin, he's got a very distressed student with him and wonders if you could advise him."

"Why me, just because I'm his boss? Is the student male or female?"

"I suspect female," she replied.

"Oh so it's women's stuff again?" Why does this happen, I don't know any more about periods or pregnancies than Colin, though he doesn't know that does he, and I hope he never does find out.

I dialled Collin's number and he answered it in two rings, so he must have been sitting on the phone. "Oh thank goodness, the cavalry has arrived. I've got a student, one of ours for next week; she's very distressed and won't tell me what it's about but has requested talking to another woman. She's sitting in Diane's office having a cuppa. Can you advise me? I've suggested the student health clinic but she doesn't want to go, says it's too personal."

"Won't she talk to Diane?" I asked, Diane was our technical assistant, in her twenties and very attractive with a lovely approach to the kids and to life generally, not a drama queen like me.

"I think she'll only talk to you, as head of department."

"But I'm trying to get these schedules done for next week or nobody will know where they are."

"I know you're busy, Jen, but please this girl was really upset."

"Damn! Okay I can give her a few minutes, but if she pisses me about she'll regret it. See you in five."

"I'm off to Colin's office to sort this out, if anyone calls tell them to try again on Monday week. I'm out of the office all next week." I said to Emma.

"Of course your week of jollies," she said back.

"If you think that I'll make you come next time, and we'll do all sorts of messy things."

"No, you won't you're more girly than I am," and then mimed me flapping because my hair was getting wet. I poked my tongue out like any responsible and mature adult and went off in search of this student who was having a crisis.

I found our distressed student in Diane's office pulling herself together and using up all Diane's tissues. "Oh, there you are, Jen, just in time before I run out of tissues."

I rolled my eyes at her welcome and pointed at the student and she nodded. "Hello, I'm Dr Jennifer Hudson, but you already know that I suspect; how can I help you and why couldn't Diane?"

It took the student a few moments to stop hiccupping after her crying episode. "I don't want any of this recorded, it's too personal."

"I think that depends on what it is, but if it means you or anyone else is in physical danger or something illegal is happening, I'm duty bound to report it to the appropriate authorities, and that is a legal requirement, so I don't have an option." She nodded, "I don't think any of that applies."

"Okay, so what's this all about? And why me?"

"I heard you replying to a question on transgender bans in America, you certainly knew more about it than the enquirer."

"I think the enquirer was trying to get a debate started which would have been detrimental to any transgender students here and I closed him down as quickly as I could. Most of his argument would have been spurious if not libellous and sounded like he got all his information from social media, much of which is total hogwash."

"I know," she said and I regarded her more carefully. She was wearing what I assumed were ladies' clothes and her bust was rather small, her hips looked quite narrow for a woman and a cold shiver ran down my spine. "I'm trans." She said quietly. Oh shit.

"Shouldn't you be talking to a doctor or psychologist or proper counsellor about this? I'll certainly help all I can but I'm better with Cladocera or Copepods."

She laughed, "I know, I've heard you lecturing on water fleas and cyclops and other things aquatic, but I suspect you know more about trans things than you've admitted, I'll bet you have or had a friend who was trans and you helped them."

"Okay I admit I've known the odd trans person, no students, but that doesn't make me an expert. I'm sure there are better people to help you than me. If you want to come out to the college I'll help there, but otherwise, I'm not sure I can."

"I've been living a double life, being a male in college and female in my own time, but it's all got too much and I need to live as a woman now."

I was wondering what to say in reply. I'd dealt with all this shit years ago, don't I deserve to just carry on with my life as best I can? I feel sorry for her, knowing it can be a very lonely place to be in, but there are resources out there, just not enough or good enough to enable me to shift her over to them. "Go ahead, I'll get your name and status changed, you look quite good as female, I'll also refer you to student health and hopefully they can refer you to someone who deals with all this. I'm aware just from articles in the Guardian, that it all takes ages and I suspect you're in a hurry. If your parents have plenty of cash going private is much quicker."

"I'm taking hormones, I get them off the net."

"Could be dangerous, it needs medical supervision and assessment."

"Why, don't you think I'm really trans?"

Oh boy, ask an easy one why don't you? "I believe that you think you are and that's all that matters, There are experts out there who can help you."

"Why can't you say if you think I'm a woman, you are one yourself, aren't you?" She asked in a stronger but still light voice and the red lights started flashing in my head, get off this as quick as you can but don't make it too obvious.

"Look, I know how important and personal all this is but I have schedules to sort for next week." Then I suddenly thought, they're all coming to the college on Monday morning to get them, I could do this at home tonight or over the weekend and have more time so less rush and less mistakes - possibly. I had another thought, "Do you like tuna?"

"I suppose, why?"

"Diane, could you get me two tuna salad rolls?"

She came in muttering about what my last slave died of and held out her hand for some money. I gave her a fiver and off she went still muttering. I didn't quite understand why this young woman, I'll give the benefit of any doubt, couldn't have talked this over with Diane. I asked her, at least that way I might learn something.

"Why didn't you want to discuss this with Diane, she's more your age group than I am?"

"I think you would have more authority so would be able to help more, unless this is something you don't accept and your remarks the other day to that imbecile who obviously supports Trump and the antitrans movement, were very supportive of trans people."

"Okay, I support people who feel they are another gender but that's in theory, you are talking practical here. I can authorise you changing your gender and attending as female to your course but we will need the opinion of a medical professional who also supports your need to do so." I thought I'd better start making some notes on this in case it comes back to bite me on the bum. I asked her if she was agreeable to me doing so. She nodded.

I found a pad and used the ball point I was carrying having been using it a few moments before I walked into this crisis. "Could I have the name you are registered on the course, in other words your legal name. I'm sorry if this is uncomfortable but we have to pursue protocols or those against will find legal reasons for interfering which I'm sure neither of us needs?" she nodded agreement.

"My legal name is Andrew Roberts." I wrote it down.

"What is your preferred name?" she blushed and I almost did too, this was far too familiar a memory for me.

"Fiona Roberts, I don't see a need to change my surname as everybody will soon know of my changeover anyway."

"I'm afraid it tends to be a little obvious, we as a college will do what we can to help you with this but there may be some reaction. It might be a sixth form college but we still have a few Neanderthals attending. I would hope all the staff would be supportive and I think on this course they will be but I can't speak for other departments."

"I understand that, Dr Hudson and expect a certain amount of resistance, Homophobes, transphobes, TERPs, born againers and those with their own issues. That is all their problem not mine."

"Fiona, do you mind if I call you that?"

"No, I feel it's my real name and I appreciate you doing so."

"Fiona, I accept your opinion that any problem people have is their own problem, sadly some of them can be quite vocal as well as unhelpful, but they could cause you difficulties as well, things like toilets and changing rooms come to mind, though we have a unisex disabled loo on most floors, we'll have to go for that, I think that's safest. I shall have to involve the principal, we need his support, without it, it will be an uphill struggle." She nodded so I hoped she understood the politics which will be involved - it always come down to politics when you try to do something difficult.

"Are you seeing a doctor or psychologist or counsellor?"

"No."

"What about parents, how do they feel about it or have you not told them."

"They've sort of known for ages, accept that I want to be a girl but are too timid to speak to the doctors."

"Get yourself one post haste, we're going to need a professional opinion as quickly as possible, preferably a medical one, most doctors tend to have an almost inbuilt authority that most non-medics won't challenge, too hard. How is your GP? would he be sympathetic?"

"She might, I haven't seen her for a couple of years." Teenagers, they're either hypochondriacs or so fit they don't need doctors until they start driving, then doctors are useful in putting boy-racers back together again. I heard phrases from Humpty Dumpty and hoped we were more successful.

"Who is your GP?"

"Dr Andrea Livingstone."

"Oh, I know her slightly." I looked her number up on my mobile and rang it. "I'm Dr Jennifer Hudson, could I speak to Andrea Livingstone?"

The receptionist was giving me all sorts of crap, but that's their job. "It's rather urgent", I added quietly.

Suddenly there was a click and heard an educated voice say, "Hello, Andrea Livingstone here."

It had worked, now would the next bit. "Hi Andrea, it's Jenny Hudson from the sixth form college, I need your advice rather urgently on one of your patients, could you see them today if possible?"

"Who is it and what symptoms are they displaying?"

"Severe anxiety and emotional reactions."

"Why is that so urgent, after Covid, loads of youngsters have anxiety. What's his/her name?"

"Andrew Roberts, it is very personal so confidentiality prevents me from discussing this further."

"Why, have they got gonorrhea or got someone pregnant?"

"Andrea, they have a real problem and it will impact their course, so could you see them today?"

"Hell, I was hoping to get off early tonight, tell them to come at six and be prepared to wait a bit, but I'll see them. They aren't suicidal are they?"

"Not at the moment but you know how teens are up and down by the minute."

"I'll see him at six with a bit of luck, bye Jenny."

"Thanks, Andrea, I owe you one." She laughed and rang off.

Diane came back with two brown rolls with tuna salad, I smiled when I saw them Fiona was still somewhat withdrawn but she wasn't crying at the moment. Diane also came in with two teas and left us alone.

"Eat up, put it in your diary as the first and last time I paid for your lunch." she smiled at me but gingerly tucked in. After we'd finished I sent her to Student Health, we'd need them on our side, so I went over with her and told the health support worker what she was there for, said her transition was imminent, hence the rush I mentioned that she was seeing a doctor without qualifying it and left her to it, while surreptitiously discovering that she was intent on transitioning on Monday, the start of our practical week, which is crazy anyway, so one extra thing doesn't make a lot of difference or will it?