Crossing a Bridge

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December 2024 Change A Life Christmas Story Contest Entry

 
 
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A slender figure walked out onto the wide bridge. The sun descending in the western sky cast a wide shadow from the west side of the canyon and bathed the east side in a reddish glow.

The figure walked past the first overlook platform but stepped onto the second platform to gaze southward into the gorge. It had taken a couple hours to walk the distance to the bridge from the airport. The ride they had hitched out from the city could have taken them all the way. But their intention was private and they wanted to avoid distraction and interference.

They thought of what was behind. The parents applauding the speeches and election of a criminal and rapist. The months of ads proclaiming that people like them were a perversion and a threat to the innocent. The muttered or even loud slurs in the hallways, scary notes in the locker and occasional shoves. They had asked their parents to let them transfer to the more friendly charter school. But there were still fees involved, pay was low and rent was high. It was a no-go, like so much of their life.

They scanned the canyon wall looking for a bighorn sheep or any other sign of life. But all they saw was red.

Rose stopped her little Prius at the highway intersection, then turned left to drive west across the bridge. It was the only practical way to her destination. And sometimes the view could be beautiful. But the groceries in the trunk needed to get home. And it was quite a drive. She slowed down as she drove onto the bridge because there was a single person standing on one of the platforms. She saw them pull their hoodie tighter around the slender body as a likely gust of wind emphasized the scanty protection.

Something about them piqued her curiosity. So she turned into the visitor parking on the west side of the bridge. There were no other cars at the moment. A cold Christmas eve wasn’t a great time for viewing the gorge. She zipped up her puffer jacket, pulled on her gloves. On a hunch, she reached in back and grabbed a Mexican blanket, then left the car to walk onto the bridge. She stopped at the first overlook to discreetly observe. The figure was clearly shivering. The cold breeze even chilled Rose a bit.

She proceeded on, slowing a bit as she got close to the person. They seemed oblivious until she held out the blanket and said, “you look a little cold. Why don’t you wrap up in this?”

The person jerked and looked at her, then shook their head left to right. No.

“I’ve been bitten a few times myself. I promise I won’t bite. Why not enjoy the view in a little more comfort?”

This time the person reached out a hand and Rose gave them one end of the blanket, then stepped past them to wrap the other end around the back and over the other shoulder.

“Good evening. I’m Rose.” She said.

“OK” the person responded in a light thin voice.

“So it’s the Man with No Name,” Rose joked. “That’s not quite a serape, but it’s close enough.”

“Did you see anything interesting?”

“No.”

Rose scanned the east wall of the gorge, watching for any flicker of movement. Any animals seemed to have already found a cozy spot for the night.

“It’s a long walk back to Taos. Would you like a ride?” she offered.

“No.”

“Then I’ll make you an offer. First, I absolutely promise to bring you back here in a day or two and you can do whatever you had planned for today Second, until then let me take you someplace warm and get us both some food to eat. I know we can find a place for you to sleep. How about that?”

“OK.”

Rose gently grasped the person’s right hand, then they both walked over the bridge and back to the Prius.

Rose helped them into the passenger seat, then walked around, climbed in and started the engine. She also turned on the headlights as the stereo resumed her playlist of Madonna.

“The Material Girl may be a bit dated for you. Would you like something different?”

“No”

“That’s fine then.”

Rose drove for a couple miles with only the music playing, then turned onto a side road. Then she immediately turned right. “You’re already buckled up, but I’ll warn you, it’s going to be a bumpy ride. The Prius can take it though.”

They drove for several miles past a junk yard of dozens of rusting auto and truck bodies. After navigating a couple doglegs, Rose turned right onto a northward road that led straight to a medium hill in the distance with two small peaks.

“We’re getting close now,” she said.

They drove past various cabins, trailers and other structures. Most of them seemed to have solar panels on top or nearby. Eventually they reached a cross road and Rose turned right. They drove past more buildings, up a slight hill and then Rose turned the Prius into a dirt track leading to some trailers.

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There were a couple Airstream trailers, a Coleman camper and even an old VW microbus.

“Welcome to our little abode,” Rose commented.

Then she turned to the other person. “I hope you’re OK with the queer community because we’re all a little queer out here. But like I said, we don’t bite.”

Then she got out, walked around the car and led her guest to the door of the longer one of the Airstream trailers. She opened the door and called out, “Sunny, Gloria, I’m home. And I have a guest.” Then she ushered the other person up the stairs and into the trailer. My friend here is the Man with No Name.”

A short person with long blonde hair waved and said, “Hi, I’m Sunny.” The taller person dressed in almost Goth attire with black shirt and pants and stocky boots said,” and I’m Gloria. The stew is about ready, but the rolls need a few more minutes. Sunny, can you find one of your sweat outfits? I think they’ll fit our guest. Come on, hun,” she said and led the way to a small restroom. Step in here and take off your shoes. We don’t have hot and cold running water. But you can use the toilet. I’ll bring you a basin of warm water to wipe off with. Oh, and do you prefer boys or girls undies?”

“I wear boys.” The person said.

“I think I have some old boy stuff that might fit. I’ll be right back.”

Sunny handed her a pullover sweat top and some sweat pants, then reached into another drawer and pulled out what looked like boys underwear as well as a pair of socks.

Gloria handed them through the door, then went to the kitchen. Rose had already drawn a basin of water, so Gloria took it back to the little restroom.

Several minutes later a skinny figure emerged, cleaner but with shoulder length brown hair in need of a good brush or comb.
Rose waved them to the small table, where Sunny was dishing up the stew. Gloria handed them a platter of rolls wrapped in a dish towel and a tub of soft margarine. Then they all settled into the task of eating.

After two bowls apiece of stew had vanished along with all the rolls, Gloria started clearing the dishes and Sunny wiped off the table.
Rose set a small bowl of snack-sized candies on the table and pulled a deck of cards out of a small box in the living area.

“Now that we’ve got four people, we can play some serious card games!” she announced.

“Euchre is a serious card game,” Sunny responded.

“I know, but it’s so much work sorting the cards just to play it. Do you know how to play Hearts hun?”

“I don’t think so,” the guest replied.

“That’s all right,” Rose stated. “We’ll explain the rules.”

“But first we should do another round of introductions. I am Rose (she/her) and I am Trans.”

“And I am Gloria (she/her) also Trans.”

“And I am Sunny (she/her). I’m cis but I happened to like girls so we get along.”

“What shall we call you?”

“Jess, I guess." The guest stated, then frowned a bit and paused.

Sunny leaned in and looked in their eyes. “It’s all right, Jess. We try to keep this a safe place. It’s part of why we live all the way out here. You don’t have to tell us anything you don’t feel comfortable talking about. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Jess said.

“Good,” Sunny said. “Rose, deal the cards.”

About an hour later, Rose added up the scores. “Gloria, you have the lowest score. You get three pieces of candy!”

“And Jess, you really surprised us. You get two pieces of candy!”

“Close game, Sunny, but you edged me out. You get one piece of candy!”

“What about you, Rose?” asked Jess.

“Loser doesn’t get candy,” Rose stated.

“Except she sneaks one whenever she wants,” Gloria and Sunny called out in unison.

“All right you two. It’s Christmas in the morning. So off to your beds,” Rose answered. Then she turned to Jess as Sunny and Gloria pulled on long coats. “Those two sleep in the other Airstream. Are you OK sharing this trailer with me?”

“I think so” Jess replied.

“That’s fine,” Rose stated. “Like I said, I don’t bite. We have the propane heater, but propane costs money so we turn it down at night. If you’re OK sleeping on the couch, I’ll get you a sleeping bag and a robe to help stay warm.”

“That will be all right,” Jess replied.

“Good.” She went into the back room and returned with the sleeping bag and robe. She set them on the couch then knelt a bit and looked into Jess’ face. “Sweetie, listen to me. You are real. You are beautiful. And you are loved. Always remember that. Knock on the door if you need anything. I’ll see you in the morning.” Oh, and may I give you a hug?”

Jess nodded and Rose gave them a gentle squeeze.

“Night night!” she said and went into the bedroom. She changed into cozy pajamas, pulled on another robe and climbed into the bed. After a while, she heard some quiet sobbing. Then it died out and they both slept.

The smell of something baking woke Jess up. “Good morning, sleepy head!” Rose called out. “Pull on those slippers and come join me for breakfast. Sunny and Gloria will be here soon.”

Jess looked down and saw a pair of pink fluffy slippers on the floor by the couch. She unzipped the sleeping bag, squirmed out of it, put on the slippers and walked over to the table.

A bowl of blueberry muffins sat in the middle of the table. The soft margarine was right beside it. “Would you like orange juice or milk?” Rose asked.

“Orange juice is fine,” Jess replied. Rose poured two glasses and joined her at the table.

“I forgot to ask. You ate beef last night, but are you OK with eating pork?” Rose said to Jess.

“Oh yes,” Jess replied.

“That’s good because we’ve got a little ham for lunch. I could scrounge something else up, but this lets us dine as planned. Now enjoy your muffins.”

They were both working on a second muffin when the door opened and Sunny and Gloria climbed in. “I told you they’d cheat” Sunny said to Gloria.

“Hey,” Rose replied. “There are still lots of muffins. And I think we’ve got another box if you’re that hungry.” Gloria gave Rose an elbow in the ribs and served up a couple muffins.

After cleaning up the table, Rose led Jess back to the couch and said, “Sunny, will you do the honors?”

Sunny walked over to a small lighted tree in a corner of the living area. There were a number of packages scattered around it.

“Are you handing out presents?”, Jess asked. “I didn’t even know about this. I don’t have anything to give.”

Rose reached around and gave Jess a hug. “You’ve given us a new friend. That’s the best gift of all. So just relax.”

Sunny handed Rose a soft wrapped package and gave a similar one to Gloria. Then she handed one like it to Jess. “It looks like Santa Claus found you after all, Jess!” she said with a smile.

Jess took the package, then huddled over and fought back tears.

Rose wrapped an arm around her, gave Jess a hug and gently rocked them. “It’s all right, sweetie. Today is Christmas. You have nothing to worry about. You are safe with us. Now open your present and let’s see what Santa brought you.”

Rose open the wrappings and found a red turtle-necked sweater. She just squeezed it in awe. Rose opened a green V-neck while Gloria had a black V-neck. Sunny had a pink cardigan.

“But how?” Jess asked.

“Someone found something to share,” Rose replied. “Now just relax and enjoy the moment.”

Sunny handed out the next round of presents. There were board games for Rose, Sunny and Gloria. And a chess set for Jess.

“I don’t know how to play,” Jess protested.

That’s quite all right. We have plenty of time out here and we’ll be glad to teach you. It’s a skill you can take with you wherever you go.”

Then Sunny pulled out four more presents. There were scarves for the three adults. And Jess opened another soft package to find a soft plush brown bear.

“That’s Boo Boo,” Gloria said. “He was my best friend when I was growing up. I know he’ll be a good friend to you too.”

Jess broke down crying and fell onto Rose’s shoulder. Rose just hugged her and waited. After about half an hour, the tears subsided. Jess looked up at Rose and asked, “How? Why?”

“It’s all right. You are all right. Love is not a tit for tat game. The well refills itself. We just have to share it wherever we can. Now come to the table and let’s start teaching you about chess.”

Then she looked at Sunny and Gloria. “And you two, get working on lunch!”

A couple hours later, after Rose had led Jess through a couple easy games, Sunny nodded at Rose. “All right, Jess. Let’s clear this off so we can have some lunch!”

The table was quickly set with sliced ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, cranberry sauce, and some prebaked rolls. Everyone passed around the food and ate up.

When they had cleared the table again, Gloria asked, “Now for the big question. Which movie first, Home Alone or Die Hard?”

“Home Alone!” Sunny and Rose both called out. So Gloria set up a small laptop on the table, Sunny served up some glasses of a fruity punch, and they all watched Macauley Culkin pull his tricks.

When the closing credits were rolling, Jess squeezed Rose’s hand and asked, “Rose, may I talk to you?”

“Sure, Hun. Would you like to do it on the couch or back in the bedroom?”

“I think I’d feel happier with just the two of us, so maybe the bedroom?”

“That’s fine, Jess. Bring Boo Boo along. He should be in on this too.” Then Rose led the way back to the bedroom and closed the door behind them.

She sat on the bed and patted a space beside her. “Hop up here.”

Jess climbed on the bed and sat down. They looked up at Rose.

“What would you like to talk about?” Rose asked.

“Well, I’m not sure how to say it. I’ve never felt safe talking about it with anybody before. But maybe with you, would it be all right? Would it be safe?”

Rose turned a bit and looked at Jess. “Hun, I’m not a boy anymore. But I used to be a Boy Scout. And a Boy Scout is supposed to be Trustworthy. It’s number 1 on the list. So I still try to honor that trust. If you want to keep it private, I try to do that. If you need help, remember that a scout is helpful too.”

“OK. I think I understand. I think I may be transgender too.”

“That’s fine.” Rose replied. “I don’t prejudge and I don’t do physicals. So what does that make you?”

“I was born a boy. My parents named me Jesse. But I’ve been feeling different from the other boys ever since I started school.“

“And when did it really hit you?”

“I think in middle school. I saw the boys and girls changing and I felt like I wanted to change like the girls. But my body seemed to be stuck in neutral.”

“Then we probably need to get you to see both a therapist and an MD. We have to visit the bridge again tomorrow. But I’ll call my doc’s and see if we can get you in for a quick visit and make appointments for serious follow-up. How does that sound?"

“I guess I think it will be OK.” Jess replied.

“I’ll do my best to make it OK, hun.” Rose answered.

“Now what about Sunny and Gloria?”

“I think it will be all right to tell them too.”

“Good. Let’s let you tell them and then we’ll watch Die Hard!”

They walked out to the table. Jess looked at the other two adults and said, “My name is Jessica but I prefer just Jess. My pronouns are she/her.”

Three adults gave her a big hug. There was a lot of sobbing. But finally they all relaxed and watched the movie.
….
The next morning after breakfast, Rose and Jess bundled up and climbed into the Prius. After another long, bumpy drive, they emerged onto the highway and approached the bridge.

“Shall we stop for a view?” Rose asked.

“I don’t think we need to,” Jess answered.

And Rose drove the car across the bridge and into the town.

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Disclaimer note. This is a work of fiction. The people in this story are fictional. The location is real. AFAIK, nobody lives in the group of trailers in one picture.

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Comments

The well refills itself.

Emma Anne Tate's picture

Beautiful, Gillian. Really beautiful.

I’ve been to that bridge, and over it — physically, anyway. In a deeper sense, I haven’t. But I know that it looms large in the experience of the trans community. It represents the ultimate choice. Go forward into uncertainty . . . or down. It’s a hard choice for far too many. Who am I, to say, “ Attraversiamo?” But still, I do. I can’t help but hope, for all of us, that the future will be better on the other side.

Emma

Thank you so much, Emma

gillian1968's picture

I was just rereading one of your stories. (Beatrice)
They always move and impress me.

For this one, I just tried to feel the mood and let the emotions come when they felt right.

After almost 2 years on estradiol, that happens often.

Gillian Cairns

making it across the bridge

can be very hard, sometimes, but sometimes, if you are very blessed, you will find friends waiting for you, even though you didnt know them before. I know I did!

Thank you for sharing this story, huggles!

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Huggles to you you!

gillian1968's picture

Yes. I think many of us approach it several times. One friend of mine has expressed thoughts along those lines a couple times.

But over the last year I’ve seen her grow more confident and hopeful.

Our city is blessed with a center that specifically supports the Trans community. I attended a party there Friday afternoon. It was encouraging that they can warm up and enjoy free pizza and salads. But it’s also a bit daunting that there are so many in need of so much more help.

So I try to do my little bit to work for other changes as well.

Gillian Cairns