Root CGD: 4044.58
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.R (City of Oenic, Charthion Hospital, Carillion V)
Syn and Vesal had both gone through the Guild’s gauntlet of medical checks and questioning without any issues. When they returned to the ship, they both talked to us about what they’d been through, mentioned being 200K credits richer like the others, and had each arranged transport back to their lives through the Guild representative assigned to deal with us. Having to say goodbye to them had been an emotional moment for all of us, but I think everyone was happy for them—just as we’d been happy for Turpin and Beck when they’d said their goodbyes after being released by the Guild and wasting no time getting out of here and back to their lives.
Liam’s exit had occurred later that day we’d been rescued from the Exhibit Housing. He was conveyed to a Guild’s shuttle on station, and while his goodbye wasn’t as emotional as the one with the others had been, he seemed relieved to be rejoining the Corps. Of course that meant he was leaving Zenia behind and the child she was carrying that was his. I’d asked her about the possibility they would stay together, and she’d told me he didn’t love her, didn’t want anything to do with the child she was carrying, and had even suggested she have an abortion.
“What a an asshole,” I’d complained to her.
“It’s alright; I never loved him either, and honestly, he’s happy now. I just need to figure out where my happiness takes us next,” she’d said.
I for one was happy to see Liam go but felt for Zenia, the child she was carrying, and both of their futures quite frankly. I’m not sure how I would have taken Garrett having the same attitude as Liam. Garrett had been released by the Guild but was choosing to stick around, and I felt oddly happy about that, if not a bit relieved, and hopeful. What our future held, we’d figure that out when there weren’t so many other issues that demanded my attention. It was a comfort, though, having him around in this more stable and less stress-filled environment, and I knew I was fortunate.
On our way to Carillion, Zenia had reached out to her husband, but as she’d suspected, he’d moved on, remarried a CGD a year after her disappearance, and had two children with his new wife. Outwardly she appeared to have taken that news well, probably because she’d told me a while ago she suspected he wouldn’t have waited for her. I felt like she’d come to terms with that possibility before having it confirmed via their sat-link call.
I felt her being truly alone now, with no family to support her and no one there to help raise the child she was carrying, meant she be wallowing in despair, but she wasn’t or maybe she was just hiding it well. Garrett and I were purposely sticking close to her and keeping her busy with tasks around the ship when she felt like contributing until it was her and my turns to meet with the Guild representatives.
We’d be the last two from the group to be examined and interviewed and since we were both summoned together by the Guild had figured it was because we were both pregnant – the only two of the group of four women. Each of us was examined by our own doctors but ended up together in an exam room with those doctors to go over their eventual findings.
“Mrs. Roads, Ms. Ferris, thank you for agreeing to this joint consultation. I think you’ll see why we wanted you both together for this,” one of the two doctors in the room, I think his name was Baker, began saying.
My doctor was named Jones, and he struck me as odd, or maybe he just didn’t like me or maybe it was because I’d been born male and gotten the transplant? I’d told him it happened without my consent, but he didn’t appear to believe me or he could have been distracted with other work and I just wasn’t getting good care from him. His touching and examining me had not been a pleasant experience. Not that when Zenia had done some of the same checking had I liked it, at all, but even with devices that could see inside of me, I’d have wished for less physical contact between us.
“Zenia, please… If you wouldn’t mind, Doctor Baker,” Zenia requested.
That made it sound like she’d asked him to do that before, and maybe he’d reverted back because I was here.
“Cam, for me,” I chimed in, to help Zen out and because ‘Ms. Ferris’ sounded really odd to me.
“Very well, Zenia, Cam… Since you’re a nurse, Zenia, I’m going to try to keep this simpler for Cam’s sake,” Baker stated. “You both understand the purpose of your confinement on Lyone?”
We both nodded wearily. I’m pretty sure the looks on our faces told him we didn’t want to talk about it much.
“Syn Jekurn was the only other surviving woman, besides the both of you, to be pregnant at some point during your group's stay on the planet,” he began. “Syn and several of the other women we’ve examined state that no one ever carried a child to term, and you’ve both confirmed that, correct?”
“It is… Generally we had issues after the first trimester and late into the third. I’m not aware of anyone that made it to term or hadn’t passed during actual childbirth,” Zen offered.
“The Guild rescued others?” I asked, surprised, having missed the inference in what Baker was saying about Syn a few seconds ago.
Had they not mentioned that to anyone else, because no one mentioned that to us? Seems like an important point to have not shared. I mean, everyone knew there were multiple sites and if there were survivors that would have been good news to share I would have thought.
“Yes, forty men and thirty-nine women,” he replied. “In regards to the pregnancies, we don’t believe many of them had a chance to make it very far into the third trimester. Let me show you why,” he said, bringing up a 4D hologram marked as ‘Z. Roads’ near the left foot along with Zenia’s other personal identifiers.
We watched as he manipulated the hologram, zooming in and out, tilting her body image slightly, and finally aligning the scene close up on something I had no idea what I was looking at but could see Zenia’s baby in the background, maybe connected to something that looked like a transparent hose. I know I’d heard what that tube was called, but couldn’t come up with its name.
“Can you see the issue?” he finally asked Zenia.
“May I?” she asked, reaching over to zoom out a little, then turn the hologram slightly to the left, back to the right, zooming back in, and stopping to study whatever it was she was interested in seeing. “Thinning of the umbilical cord? And this, this doesn’t look right… Is that some kind of calcium buildup?”
Ugh! Umbilical cord! I knew that!
“Correct, the umbilical cord connection point has been purposely weakened, and we believe that’s due to the chemical ingestion of,” he paused to look at something on a small handheld device he was holding. “A polyfluoroalkyl agent used as the vehicle to deliver female hormones and another chemical we’re still trying to classify from the planet but believe was meant to keep those captive in a constant state of arousal. What you’ve identified as a calcium build-up is actually an overgrowth of myofilaments, which I’m sure you know isn’t normal.”
“I’d figured the water we were bathing in was how they were keeping us drugged, and any polyfluoroalkyl would certainly allow for chemical absorption through the skin of anything they wanted us to be receiving. So, I guess that means they were calculated in how they cared for us; this thinning was deliberate,” Zenia stated.
“We believe so. Absorption via the skin using a polyfluoroalkyl would be a known hazard to the natal connection to the placenta. The overgrowth being polysaccharides consisting of repeating disaccharide units would eventually lead to a termination event; they’d harvest the child at that point, we believe.”
“They never intended us to make it to term, just have the baby grow to a suitable size for…” Zenia stopped speaking I think, and I heard someone shouting as the room began fading to black, and saw for a moment the room tilting oddly to my left...
Root CGD: 4044.64
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.R (City of Oenic, Charthion Hospital, Carillion V)
I woke to find myself in a hospital room with Zenia and Garrett sitting nearby. They were talking quietly until they saw me blink a few times and look around, trying to figure out where I was and how I’d gotten into this bed.
“Hey,” Garrett said, taking my hand while leaning over to kiss my forehead.
“Everything’s fine; you just passed out,” Zen said. “Too much medical jargon, but the bottom line from all that is both our babies are fine; no irreparable damage or long-term issues were detected. Oh, and in case you were wondering, you’re exactly forty-four days along; I’m sixty-seven.”
I looked between the two of them, closed my eyes for a moment, and asked, “Anything else?”
“No, not really… As a recipient of a transplanted woman’s reproductive system, you’re in amazing health. I asked Doctor Jones since you’d given him a bit of a scare. Doctor Baker told me the trace amounts of polyfluoroalkyl chemicals in my system would be gone completely in a few weeks, and I need to take prenatal vitamins—but I already suspected those things. My guess is you’re going to get the same message when one of those two stops by to see how you’re doing,” Zenia said, smiling.
“How are you feeling?” Garrett asked.
“Like I want out of here and don’t want to hear any more medical terms thrown at me,” I complained. I saw something in Zen’s eyes and asked, “What? The Guild released you, right? No issues or anything?”
“Yes… I’m free to go, and there are no issues, other than I don’t really have anywhere to go just yet,” she replied.
“Stay with us,” I said, looking at Garrett, who nodded in agreement and squeezed my hand. “At least for the time being, until we can get you settled someplace or you find something you want to do or someplace you want to be.”
“Thank you, I appreciate the offer, but I might actually just stay here in Oenic. Doctor Baker mentioned the hospital was looking for nurses, so I might just stick around for a little bit and figure out if this is where I want to end up,” she said.
She seemed less stressed to me, maybe even happy at the prospect of making a go at it on Oenic. Had I really just asked her to stay with Garrett and me, us? I turned to look at him; he was smiling, so did that mean he was good with there being an ‘us’?
A tap on the door to the room had us all looking in that direction as Doctor Baker entered the room.
“You certainly have better color, Cam,” he said, smiling and standing next to the bed after Garrett moved to allow him access to me.
We watched him clicking buttons on the display panel connected to the bed, and on the wall my diagnostic readings were displayed on a screen. Thankfully on ceiling above me also so I wouldn’t need to wrench my neck to see the screen on the wall behind me.
“Much better; I can live with these numbers,” he said.
“So, I can get out of here?” I asked anxiously.
“Well, I’d like to finish reviewing a few things with you, but I don’t see why you couldn’t be released in a few hours. You’ll still need to speak with the Guild, though; all of your companions have, and I think it’s just a formality at this point,” he said, looking at Zenia and Garrett—both of them nodding.
Root CGD: 4044.69
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.R (City of Oenic, Charthion Hospital, Carillion V)
Zenia and Garrett were asked to wait down the hall in the waiting area so Doctor Baker could go over my test results. I was worried because he’d done some of that with Zenia and me together, but now he wanted to do that with me alone? I was worried and more than anxious now.
“Please, I’m not sure I can stand to hear any crazy medical talk,” I stated when it was just the two of us left in the room.
“Understood, but there are obviously a few differences in your pregnancy compared to the other women we’ve examined,” he began, “Notably the transplanted reproductive system within you. May I show you a few things to level set your being remarkably healthy for a woman your age?”
I nodded, though it struck me differently him saying, ‘woman your age’. I get it—medically speaking, the male-to-female scale in regards to who I am right now is tilted way more to one side than the other. It didn’t mean hearing that didn’t strike a chord in me or make me wonder about which I truly was. Worry to another time I told myself.
I watched as Baker pulled up two 4D holograms, mine and Zenia’s, and got them adjusted so our bodies were nearly overlapping.
“The transplant was done exceptionally well, one of the best examples of this procedure any of the doctors here on staff have ever seen, actually. This,” he said, pointing to what appeared to be a bone structure, “are Zenia’s hips, typical of any woman and suitable for childbirth...”
I interrupted him, “And since I was born a male, mine aren’t going to work…”
“Actually,” he isolated both hip areas in the holograms and slid them over one another, “Your hips have been modified, shaved actually, and you’ll definitely be able to deliver your baby naturally. Even the ligaments in your hips have been moved and appear healthy and solid and will allow you to give birth to your child naturally. Amazing work, very precise, and overall adds to our assessment that you’re quite healthy.”
He seemed quite pleased to have delivered all that news, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the holograms. Did I even want to give birth? Like, go through giving birth? Zenia had mentioned I could port the child to a stasis birthing environment for the rest of the gestation period, right? If I did that, could my body be reverted back to its pre-abduction state?
“If at some point I wanted to go back?” I asked sheepishly.
“Ah, ‘back’, as in to be as you were pre-transition?” he asked, maybe slightly confused.
“You understand that I didn’t set out to be Transgendered; all of this was purely by accident.”
I explained my abduction story to him, including the initial hormone injection by Cheryl, why I’d been injected to begin with, and finally the impalement that led to the transplant. He knew ‘women’ in the Exhibit Housing had been pumped with hormones and other stuff and of course, that had furthered my current existence towards being a woman.
“Interesting… Curious they’d go through all that trouble with you when our understanding is they were abducting others, biological women, at will.”
“I agree, but honestly not a lot of what they were doing to us makes sense. We were on display, and it seemed to give them great pleasure watching… Well, watching us being intimate.”
“We’ve heard that from the others, the ‘clicking’ noises, right?”
“Yeah, not very pleasant…”
I watched him manipulate something on the hologram; Zenia’s disappeared, and a listing of some type appeared.
“Did you know an Allison Sanderson while in captivity?”
“Yes, she... Ali,” I could feel the tears well in my eyes and paused to slow my breathing down. “She was a good friend and didn’t make it.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” he said, placing his hand on mine for a moment. “The reason for that question is, well, we analyzed the one hundred and sixty-eight tubes you’d recovered from the facility you were held in. They, as you probably already know, contained the remains of those who were held captive there and were either killed or died during childbirth. In one of those tubes we found Allison Sanderson. Interestingly, her DNA markers have been also found within you.”
“How can that be possible?”
“We believe it was her reproductive system they transplanted in you.”
Root CGD: 4044.71
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.R (City of Oenic, Charthion Hospital, Carillion V)
It took nearly twenty minutes before I could finally get a hold of my emotions and was able to stop crying. Thankfully, Doctor Baker was patient with me and assured me multiple times I was healthy, my baby was perfectly healthy, and my body would heal the weakening of the umbilical cord the chemical those beings had used on us. He ended his little speech by saying I had nothing to worry about in regards to the baby growing inside of me.
Additionally, he explained that while I might have Ali’s reproductive system within me, over time my own DNA would be infused with the production of eggs I was able to produce. In fact, it was likely the child within me contained both our DNAs and he was running tests still to confirm that. Bottom line – the baby within me most likely contained some of my genetic traits.
“You’re kidding?”
“No, it’s kind of how the body deals with something you’re not originally born with and is added to it. Heart transplants, kidneys, livers, and other organs—the body rejects them or accepts them. Yours has accepted having been given a new reproductive system and over time will most definitely modify some of the donor's DNA makeup with your own.”
I could only shake my head in response. He was smiling and squeezed my hand again before shutting off the hologram.
“Any other questions for me?” he asked.
I could feel the guilt rolling on even considering reversing all of this. Children down the line were something I would probably be interested in, but being the one to actually carry them, like being a woman, being pregnant, and carrying them?! Not something I’d have considered or would have chosen. Yet, there was something I liked about this idea, but I also needed assurances if it was beyond my ability to cope—as a woman—this could be reversed.
“So, I could revert back to my former self at some point, right?”
“You could, absolutely… As I said earlier, though, you’re going to be forever changed by this ‘swap’ to being a woman now.”
“What does that mean, exactly?” I asked, but I was sure it sounded like I was complaining.
“Well, the recovery process to build back your original genitalia would be eight CGD months to a year for it to be fully functional. That’s the minimum recovery time for something like that would require. I asked Zenia, and she’d said you were taken after a failed escape attempt and gone for a little over a year—likely all recovery time you wouldn’t remember while in stasis. You’d need bone grafting to reform your hips, and that’s going to add a few months to the full recovery. A regime of testosterone reintroduction would likely not reset the changes that have occurred in your brain, but you’d certainly not be limited intellectually in any way.”
“Wait, what?! What do you mean my brain has changed?”
He chuckled and gave me a subtle smile.
“There are significant differences between the male and female brains. These differences are extreme, we’ve learned; in fact, the fingerprint of the brain you had pre-abduction—if we had such a scan to compare—would show that the determinants of cognitive functions you had before are profoundly different from the determinants in cognitive functions now.
“For example, when the different sexes’ brains are mapped for activity, there are limited overlapping areas of common processes happening. Take a woman’s brain at rest, for example; it’s significantly different from what you’d find going on in a man’s brain at rest. In that example, no overlapping areas of activity exist. On a biological basis, the functional organization is just different between the sexes.”
I’m sure I looked very confused and just stared at him, waiting for something I could understand better to be said.
“Okay, simply put, the human brain is a sex-typed organ, and we’ve known that for centuries. There are plenty of distinct anatomical differences in the neural structures and accompanying physiological differences in function. Like a woman’s hippocampus is larger than a man’s and works differently. That’s the critical learning and memorization part of the brain. And a man’s amygdala is bigger than a woman’s. That’s the associated part of the brain that experiences emotions and the recollection of how we’ve dealt with those experiences.
“Women retain stronger and more vivid memories of emotional events than men do. They can recall emotional memories quicker, and those are generally richer, more vivid, and even more intense. The two hemispheres of a woman’s brain talk to each other more than a man’s does—ever. Ask my wife; she’ll tell you I’m missing some simple point she’s trying to make all the time because I’m not processing it as quickly or succinctly as she might.
“And the corpus callosum—the white-matter cable that crosses and connects the hemispheres—it’s bigger in women than in men. Not to mention a woman’s brain tends to be more bilaterally symmetrical in general. So you see, the cognitive differences are too big to ignore, and your brain has changed due to the hormones you’ve been given for the past two-plus years. I would imagine significantly changed to be more in line with how a woman’s brain functions.
“I want to point out your brain hasn’t grown or shrunk in any way, alright… You could revert back to being all male, but your brain will never be completely returned to that original state you were born with. Does that help any?”
“So, if I were my former self, are you saying I’d still think like a woman?”
“Yes, and no… Not enough research on that, I’m afraid. It’s rare someone transitions and decides they want to revert back. If you do decide to revert back, if you’d consent to being studied, that would help the science of brain function.”
Nope! Not happening! I’ve been a test subject once; not going to do that again—ever!
“You understand I didn’t ask for this,” I complained.
“Understood, but unfortunately going back to that point in time before the abduction isn’t completely possible. You’d be close—but still having those changes to your brain that I don’t believe would ever revert back, even with your DNA pre-abduction and the modern tools we could employ to get you back to somewhere close to the male baseline. There just isn’t a brain reset—too complex an organ.”
I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to go back to being my prior self—at least while pregnant and the child possibly having some of my genes. And then there was the idea that Garrett was still around—not running away from me or the baby like Liam had on Zen. Everything was still a bit cloudy, my path forward, what I really wanted, but I knew I wanted options at a minimum.
I guess I knew it was possible now, though some of this experience of being a woman would stick with me forever. I’d gotten way too much ‘medical’ jargon in the past couple of minutes, though, when his last few statements would have saved us a lot of time and the headache I had now.
Baby, Garrett, the future, and what I really wanted in life is still up for…
“Anything else?” he asked when he saw me absently shaking my head.
“I… I had these visions… Is that going to stop? I mean it’s been weeks since the last one… I just don’t understand them.”
“You did? Can you tell me about them?”
I proceeded to dump everything I’d seen, felt, and thought I knew about those ‘remembrances’. Doctor Baker listened, asked a few pointed questions, and when I was done speaking, took a moment to look at his handheld device.
“So, you’re aware this didn’t happen to any of the other women we’ve examined,” he stated. “As I said before, the human brain is a sex-typed organ, and biologically you were born male, even with the tilting of your body's current makeup those hormones have had on you. Your core basis is still male and that’s likely why you had those or experienced the same type of things the other men did.”
“Okay, I can wrap my head around that explanation, but Garrett had said he’d seen me in his ‘remembrances’ as I am now, a woman, let’s say, and the other guys had foreseen their ‘coupling’ partners, women, before meeting them. Yeah, not every time or woman, but they had precognition or glimpses of the future. How is that possible?”
“We’re thinking something environmental, maybe a hallucinogen in the food we haven’t identified or maybe even a side effect of the arousal chemical they were giving you. Unfortunately, the Guild destroyed the facilities on Lyone, so we may never know—at least for a while—exactly what compounds were in play.”
Did I tell this guy I didn’t see Garrett? He gave me a look that said he knew there was something else. Damn it!
“There’s something more, isn’t there?” He asked, sensing I had more to say.
“My ‘remembrances’ weren’t of anyone I knew. Garrett said he’d seen me, but I was not seeing him.”
“I guess I’d have thought you were seeing another woman like the men were, maybe one who would be held captive with you. So, you’re saying you weren’t seeing a woman then?” He asked to make sure he understood my point, since I probably rambled aimlessly while telling him about the visions/remembrances and didn’t make that clear.
“No, it was a man I was seeing, just not Garrett.”
“Hmm… Not sure I can explain that, I'm afraid. But you might find this of interest though – none of the men we’ve interviewed provided the level of detail you just did about these visions. You mentioned smelling this man’s breath on your neck and it giving you goose bumps, the taste of alcohol on his breath, the sensations from being caressed by him, the hair on his arms, his mustache, and the tiny v-shaped scar on his hand and how it felt when you ran your finger over it. Kind of lends a bit of credence to the idea your brain has changed, doesn’t it?”
None of those remembrances happened, so they weren’t past experiences I’d ever had. Was what I saw something that had happened to Ali? Baker had said I’d gotten Ali’s reproductive system, and our DNA would eventually blend, right?
No, that can’t be it. Garrett had said Mike had seen Ali. That meant she’d never been partnered with anyone else before she died. Was there some residual Ali remembrance blended with my new form somehow?
“Do you think those could have been meant for Ali, Allison? Maybe remembrances she had?” I asked.
“I wish I knew or could give you an answer that made sense. Best we can do is monitor your brain patterns the rest of the day,” he said, pushing buttons on the screen attached to the bed. “I doubt there will be much gathered in the sense of ‘visions,’ but we can do this testing easily enough to pick out any anomalies. I’d be good with releasing you tomorrow if your vitals look as good in the morning—pending any strange brain wave patterns that might suggest a vision. I’d like to give you a mild psychotropic meant to relax the brain, opening the synapses firing within your brain. Harmless to the baby, I promise you. Let’s see if that kicks in a vision event in the next few hours.”
“Think I’d like this to all be over, doctor. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me and my baby.”
“You’re very welcome. I’ll check on you in the morning,” he said before leaving.
I don’t think I can do this crap any longer! I closed my eyes for a brief moment and tried to…
Root CGD: 4045.08
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.R (City of Oenic, Charthion Hospital, Carillion V)
I’d fallen asleep and woke up nearly two hours later. Zenia was laid out sideways in the chair near the wall, legs dangling over the arm, and her head at an odd angle as she slept. Food supplements had been left on a tray next to my bed, and I popped a couple in my mouth, sucking on a straw in a glass of water to get them down because I was hungry. They served real food, but the two pills were basically a ‘snack’ or ‘tide you over’ option until there was food service.
I also needed to pee, so I moved the table connected to the bed aside, pulled the bedding back, and sat while I swung my legs over the side of the bed. Okay, I think I feel good enough to…
“Wait, let me help you,” Zenia said, standing, looking like she was stiff from lying in the chair, and began walking over to me.
“Thanks, just need to pee… Where’s Garrett?”
“Said he was going to explore and would be back in a little bit.”
“It’s after midnight; he better not be trolling the streets,” I tried to say jokingly.
I tried standing, with her help, and when it looked like I was rock steady, she let my hands go.
“Yeah, I’m fairly certain you’ve got that man locked down; no worries there.”
I gave her a curious look and smile before saying, “Be right back, and I’d like to know why you think that, to be honest.”
When I returned, I didn’t head directly back to the bed; instead, I went to the window to look out over the twinkle of lights that was the city of Oenic, the passing of illuminated hovercraft on managed municipal glide paths taking people around the city, and the occasional heavy transport breaking through the planet’s atmosphere and heading to someplace more interesting than being stuck in a hospital. It was interesting and beautiful to see after all that time we’d spent in the Exhibit Housing and being away from such sights.
“So, why do you think I’ve got Garrett locked down?” I asked, not looking directly at her, but I could see her in the reflection of the window behind me sitting at the foot of the bed. I watched her reflection rise, coming my way, and she stood next to me.
“I know you’re still getting your ‘womanly’ legs under you, Cam, but in time you’re going to be able to read the signs,” Zenia said.
“Signs? I never once knew whether a woman was interested in me on any of the planets I’d been to; how the heck am I supposed to…,” and I stopped speaking because she’d turn to me, gave me a raised brow, and I’d sort of just answered my own question. “You’re saying because I’ve been a man, I should be able to reverse technology the plethora of emotional crap us women are more in tune with and see the signs because I’ve likely done that with women in the past?”
“Basically, yeah… You’ve got a leg up because you’ve lived that life and should know the signs; come on...”
“Okay, okay… He’s a bit gooey with me at times, so maybe I get it – a little.”
“You still struggling with the idea of reverting back?”
“Yes,” I said, placing a hand on my stomach for no reason. “This, complicates that decision; I don’t think I’m strong enough to go through what you’ve been through, Zen. If he were to leave me, I don’t think I could do it.”
“You could, and you would. Motherhood, it will change you even more than this entire hormone and transplant stuff did to…,” she was starting to say, but I cut in.
“Oh, crap! I didn’t tell you! You’ll never guess what Baker told me!”
“You’re healthy?” she asked confused.
“No! I mean, yes, I’m healthy, and so is the baby. This is about the transplant,” I said, my voice trailing off for a moment. “They believe they know who the donor was… Ali,” I said, and as soon as I’d said that, we were hugging and crying together.
Root CGD: 4045.46
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.D (City of Oenic, Planetary Guild Admin Sector, Carillion V)
“And you were the only one to actually interact with them, do I have that right?” the prefect asked.
“Jessie Winston and I, yes… But I’m not sure how a whole fifteen seconds worth of listening to the being grinding its teeth and then impaling me with its arm from across the room means I actually interacted with them,” I replied, confused.
I moved my arm slightly and caught the guy's look. Yes, I know already; remain still!
The leads attached to the devices on my arms were tickling my wrists, and I was just trying to get comfortable with my hands resting in front of me on the table. None of the others had mentioned this treatment, and I fully expected that after the first interview I’d done with the other prefect, this one would have gone quicker and smoother, but no—it was determined I needed additional psych-based monitoring!
Was I worried? Not really, because I knew next to nothing about our hosts or that facility and had nothing to hide. Were they convinced I wasn’t telling the truth or something?
Whatever optical scanner was pointed at my face on the desk in front of me, looking for variations in my eye movements and pupil dilation would randomly blink. How was I supposed to pay attention to the prefect asking me his questions with that thing blinking?! All these questions I was being asked, again, had already been answered, and truthfully!
“You told the doctors you had visions, I understand, but none of the other women had those, correct?”
“I told the doctors that, yes. Biologically, I’m not a woman though – I was born male.”
“Did you ask the other women about having visions?”
“Only Zenia Read and Allison Sanderson; the others I never mentioned it to.”
“Why’s that?”
“I don’t know! I thought I was losing my mind, maybe. Like seeing stuff happen to this version of me that hadn’t happened—isn’t that along the lines of thinking you’re losing it?” I complained.
He wasn’t fazed and asked, “Do you think the visions were a past memory that was possibly connected to Allison Sanderson since her reproductive system was implanted in you?”
Implanted? Don’t you mean transplanted? Implanted suggests something other than living tissue, right? Like that stupid Meritec prisoner control mechanism infused in my spinal cord. Do I correct you? No—I want the heck out of here!
“I wondered that, but Ali had only ever been with Mike; I don’t know his last name, so if you’re asking if it was past or future—then it’s likely something that was supposed to happen while I was held captive at some point or maybe will happen at some point; I really don’t know…”
“How many times were you conveyed while in captivity?”
“I have no idea,” I said, shaking my head. “No one knows for sure, but both men and women were pulled from the Exhibit Housing for whatever reason they saw fit. We weren’t awake any time they’d conveyed us. Like, if you didn’t comply, you got conveyed. Pregnant—conveyed for medical care or when they harv…” I could bring myself to finish that thought.
“Very well,” he said, closing his tablet portfolio, putting a finger to his ear as if he were listening to something, and then stood. “Wait here; I’ll be just a moment.”
“Can I take these off?” I asked.
“Please, just wait,” was his reply, and he exited the small room.
I tilted my head back and stared at the ceiling for a moment and then looked around the room—was I just interrogated? Should I have asked for legal counsel to be present? I knew a few things for certain—I was tired, cold, and needed to pee. I considered getting up or calling out to tell them that, but decided to just wait it out—for a reasonable amount of time. I did have a breaking point, and they were quickly bumping up against that.
When they released me, I was going to say goodbye to Zen, grab Garrett, and have Cheryl convey us up. We’d be out of the spaceport shortly thereafter, paying for the privilege through the nose for being docked there—even though us being here was required by the Guild. Then we’d be off to do a couple of boring runs Cheryl had lined up. When I’d talked to Cheryl this morning, I requested everyone be recalled back to the ship and ready to pull out once I was released.
The door to the room opened, the prefect went about removing the devices from my wrists, and sat across from me. He looked over a small tablet device's screen carefully and slid it to me.
“If you’ll just place your hand on the screen to confirm receipt of your two hundred thousand credits, you’ll be free to go.”
“And what am I signing exactly?”
“That the events of your capture are Planetary Guild secrets and disclosure carries severe consequences. Any other questions?”
I placed my hand on the tablet, stood, and walked out the door without saying anything further.
Root CGD: 4045.71
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.77.A (Carillion V Space Port – South Bay 11)
“Dee, release the docking clamps and let’s use thrusters only until we’re clear – don’t need to piss the port’s Master of Ships off. Let’s ease out of here, please,” I said, while sitting in one of the two command chairs on the bridge.
I pressed a button on the arm and began speaking to those throughout the ship.
“We’re making way to Chin-Ray, picking up twenty-five hundred solar array dish panels for their upgraded sat-link system, and then we’re off to deliver them to a Guild outpost on Varino. Nothing there worth hanging around for, so after the offload—which I’ll need all hands helping with—we’ll be heading to Libat III for standard maintenance and picking up supplies for another delivery to be determined.”
The crew, even under Cheryl’s captaincy, knew what ‘to be determined’ meant—we were going to be on a smuggling run when we left Libat III.
“Time to Chin-ray is two CGD days; Varino is eight days, and then we’re six more to get to Libat III. We’ll be on station there for two days at most; everyone will get a day’s shore leave. Let’s keep this old girl humming in the meantime. Captain out.”
The ‘old girl humming’ comment had Dee spinning in her chair at the helm to give me a questioning smile.
“Yes?” I asked her.
“A little different than your past motivational speeches before heading out, ma’am, that’s all.”
“Was I that insufferable, Dee?” I asked, smiling.
I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t truly want to know and knew Dee for about as long as Cheryl, so I expected she’d give me a straight answer.
“Of course not, but you did have a certain edge to you back in the day,” was her steady reply.
I looked to Cheryl, who nodded she agreed.
“Yeah, yeah… Cheryl, you have the con; I’ll be in my room but will relieve you at 4046.26. You both good?”
Both women gave me goofy looks and smiles.
“Okay, okay, keep your heads in the game,” I complained in jest.
In unison I heard, “Aye, Captain…” as I made my way to the ship's lift to the lower decks and my quarters.
As the doors closed, I could see Cheryl smiling and saying, “You too…”
Root CGD: 4045.73
CinT Ark Loc: Y3CAL.14.W (Carillion V – outer sector W)
“You’re pretty good at this…”
“It was my first time shopping for, well, clothing and stuff. I had no idea what I was doing or even what I might need, believe me. Cheryl saved my ass,” I stated.
“A reoccurring theme I’ve heard,” Garrett chuckled in reply.
“Whatever…,” I said, smiling at him since I knew he was razzing me and it felt right. “You know, putting all this stuff away is going to be tough since it’s so small in here, and you certainly went to town buying stuff,” I said as I hung one of the many dresses I’d purchased in Oenic’s city center shopping district.
“The benefits of being a little richer, thanks to the Guild,” was his answer to that.
The idea I could get out of the Guild interview and just jettison off the planet didn’t quite play out as I had hoped. I needed to track Zenia down and get her my Planetary Guild SSID (Ship Serial Identification Number) so she’d be able to stay in contact with us via any standard sat-link device out there. I also provided her with the black market version of that number we used, which came in handy for when we were smuggling stuff we shouldn’t be smuggling and needed to discretely communicate to the outside world.
I had tried to convince her to come along with us again, but she’d set her mind on staying and figuring out making it on Oenic. I cried, she cried, and Garrett just wrapped us both in a big, lazy hug to comfort us. I told her to reach out when the baby arrived, and if we were close, we’d come visit or coordinate a place to meet up. She wanted the same in return and would get me some way to contact her.
I knew Garrett had exchanged the ships SSID with Beck and Turpin, but neither of us had done that with Syn, Vesal, or Liam. Guess we were through with that portion of this journey and any relationships we thought we had with them while held captive.
When I’d called to Cheryl to convey Garrett and me up to the ship, after saying goodbye to Zen, she had been hesitant.
“Is there an issue?” I asked.
“Masked mode…”
I changed the setting on the communications device on my wrist so that it used my skin's layer to deliver the audio to my ears, and no one else could hear her speaking to me. My brain waves were converted to speech and transmitted back the same way.
“Go…”
“You really don’t have any clothing that’s going to fit you now, Cam.”
She was making this conversation personal; gone was her use of Captain or Ma’am to address me. Every time she’d say ma’am, it would click: I wasn’t a ‘sir’ anymore, and she accepted me as I appeared. Interestingly enough, I was becoming more comfortable with that idea too, but that’s not to say I didn’t struggle.
Of course I hadn’t even considered the idea that I would probably need clothing, and while our store's pantry printer was adept at printing coveralls, gloves, a selection of footwear, and underwear after it scanned your body, what I was hearing was I should probably buy a few things while we were someplace civilized. That I was two hundred thousand credits richer didn’t hurt and had buoyed my attitude about the suggestion after considering her statement.
“Any chance you could help me with that?” I asked, afraid I might be overstepping.
“Be happy too…”
Garrett wasn’t interested in tagging along, and part of his ‘exploring’ last night had been buying some clothing for himself. He was happy to wait on the ship and relax until we returned. When Cheryl finished getting him conveyed up, it became just a girls outing in the city. A long, long girls-only outing.
This adventure had us tromping around too many stores to recall, a body scan that was shared amongst every store, and me spending nearly forty-two hundred credits and thinking I hadn’t really gotten that much in return for spending that amount. Sure, I bought the typical necessities: socks, panties, and bras—some of that maternity wear—but that was just the beginning.
The idea of porting my baby to some birthing stasis machine was off the table—for now and it took nothing for those scans to be converted to ‘pregnant’ Cam mode at various time points to come.
I reasoned that since a part of Ali had been transplanted in me, I’d honor her by listening to her advice, again, which was to get something out of this experience. It was a big step, but in the end I could figure out reverting back another day if going through life as a woman ever became too much to handle.
Not all of the shopping was comfortable. Cheryl had convinced me to buy a few sexy pieces of lingerie because I’d enjoy the benefits of wearing this stuff as much as Garrett would enjoy me in them. Had I blushed much in front of Cheryl? Absolutely! And I tried to complain that in a couple of months these things wouldn’t fit so why bother? But it was difficult saying ‘no’ also because, well, sex with Garrett was awful damn good and if these purchase enhanced that, well…
I gave Cheryl a look when the conversation we were having broached the subject of sex. She told me she wasn’t buying my attempts at protests and could tell I’d liked the idea of being more desirable for Garrett. In the end we came to the understanding that what I’d bought would be more for our mutual enjoyment, though she’d kidded I’d reap the bulk of the rewards.
Shopping had included the purchase of a few dresses, plenty of pants, various pieces I could wear to relax in around my stateroom, shoes, tops, items to sleep in comfortably, and more damn shoes! I owned more now than I’ve ever owned in my life! And while I might have complained about some of the stuff Cheryl had me trying on – I really did enjoy some it, the way certain pieces made me look or feel while seeing the woman in the mirror staring back at me. Cheryl knew by my smile I was happy, and she certainly wasn’t going to let me forget any time soon either—which was her ‘You too…’ comment before I left the bridge!
When I thought we were done shopping, I was told we needed to eat lunch. She had a pint of ale and when I’d tried to order one she’d happily told the server, ‘No, she’s with child…’ Ugh!
It was really nice that we could share casual conversations too, like about the happenings of the past two years she had to deal with keeping the ship and business thriving. We talked quickly about replacing one of the male crew members who decided working for a trans captain wasn’t going to work for them at an all hands meeting. Further talk about replacing said asshole had us agreeing that would happen once we got to Libat III.
I thought we were finally done after we ate lunch, but was told we needed to make one more stop. NO!!!!
What had I totally missed and hadn’t considered? Anything and everything dealing with personal care—which included makeup, devices for hair removal, and the list went on and on until I’d complained that if I didn’t have it now after visiting three shops for those types of items, I could pick it up at the next couple of stops the ship made. I had no idea what this hidden side of being a woman entail, but I’d gotten a crash course in it and an assurance she’d help me with it.
In total, this ‘shopping’ experience had cost me fifty-one hundred credits. Being a woman was not only painful at times, but expensive!
I think Cheryl enjoyed our time together, and she did spend a lot of it laughing at me—though politely and as I’d have expected of a long-time friend like her would. For me, I appreciated her acceptance. Getting to do this with her was something I really needed and made me appreciate her more than I could ever begin to tell her.
Once all that bounty from shopping had made it onto the ship, conveyed directly to my stateroom, because I didn’t want the others to see the piles and piles of purchases, I was left with struggling to get it put away. It wasn’t helping that I needed to share my small quarter’s storage space with Garrett or his unorganized method of putting the clothing he’d bought away. Men… Had I been that bad?
“I meant being a captain, not the clothes buying,” he chuckled at me. “Looks like you got the hang of that pretty quickly, though.”
“Hey now, what’s wrong with buying a few things?”
“A few things?” he asked in mock surprise of my question. “I guess nothing is wrong with that, but I doubt unless we’re off the ship I’m going to get to enjoy seeing you in that dress you just hung up,” he complained.
“You never know; maybe I’ll institute a formal dinner policy once a week in the galley?”
“Yeah, I can’t see that guy Cheryl hired as your engineer having anything but a collection of stained coveralls to wear. That man sweats something fierce,” he said, cracking himself up.
I rummaged around in the bag I knew contained some of the lingerie I’d bought, thought better of pulling out any single item, and decided to just throw the entire bag his way. He caught it, maybe thinking I’d bought him something—which I guess, in a way, I sort of did—and watched him poke around in it before giving me a curious look, smiling broadly, setting the bag down on the bed, and approaching me.
“You could have led with putting that stuff away first, you know. I could stand to see you trying on a few of those things,” he said before kissing me.
When we broke the kiss, I was staring at him, maybe a little embarrassed, and certainly blushing. This is right; this feels comfortable, but where’s his head in all of this?
“I could have, but I wanted… I don’t know...” I began, thought better of pushing the conversation in that direction, and said, “Eh, it’s nothing.”
When he gave me a look that might have been wondering what I was about to say, I hugged him to distract him.
“What? You wanted or were wondering something?” he asked softly.
I was slow to answer, and he peeled me away, got me at arm's length to look me in the eyes.
“Wondering, you know… I… We don’t need to talk about this right now,” I said, unable to look at him.
“And if I wanted to talk about it, if I wanted you to know how I’m feeling?”
I hadn’t had a chance to tell him about the transplant and that I had a significant part of Ali inside of me and that the baby, besides being healthy, likely had the three of our DNA’s in its make up. Would he care about that or that I might actually…
“Okay, I’ll start. I’m…,” he began, but I interrupted him.
“Wait… I need you to know something first. Ali…,” I looked to the floor, “She’s in me… No, more accurately, they told me she’s a part of me now.”
I felt my chin being raised, “The transplant?”
“Yes…”
“Are you alright? I know you two were close,” he said, pulling me into a hug. “You’d said both you and the baby were healthy; why didn’t you tell me about this…”
He looked concerned, but not because of the Ali revelation, but because I’d withheld that from him.
I needed to tell him…
“Because I’ve been struggling with whether to stay like this… And I never wanted you to feel like you had to be with me because you were forced into it or now that I’m pregnant,” I huffed, feeling very little confidence I could get to the point I wanted to make. “I feel like, with everything we’ve gone through and what’s coming, growing inside of me, you’re staying with me, us, the baby… I need you to… To know how I feel and it’s that, like, it’s love…”
I waited for an adverse reaction, a sign on his face that I’d surprised him, repulsed him, I wasn’t what he wanted, but there was the beginning of a smile at the corner of his mouth.
“Well that’s a relief, Cam, because I’ve been in love with you from the very beginning…”
Author's note: Might not be able to post the next chapter to this story until the week after Christmas due to other obligations (not to mention I haven't crafted a single word of that - though did bloat this one to fill in some blanks and give you some direction the story was going after the rescue). I apologize in advance for that and will try very hard to get you something as soon as I can, but it could be into the New Year. Happy holidays to you all and thank you for giving this story a chance! Hugz! Rachel...
::: --- :::
Don't be afraid to click the "Kudos" (Thumbs Up) icon for this story if it's done anything for you. If you comment, I will reply.
If there are problems or you have criticisms you'd like to share privately, feel free to message me on the site (you’ll need an account) or via email ([email protected]) - I'd love to address them if I can and have fixed many an “Oops!” after posting a story (Thanks to All for those assists – very much appreciated). I'm still growing as a storyteller; I'm far from perfect, so any help is much appreciated and valued.
Thanks for reading...
Rachel M. Moore
Comments
Ooof!
She got Ali's reproductive system? God, that must hurt. And, yeah. No way she'll give that up. No way.
Garrett's a rock, and I really enjoyed Cam's interactions with Cheryl. It feels like they are working their way quickly into a new relationship that will be even better than the one they had before.
Final note -- Just how much research went into your discussion of the differences between male and female brains? That has the look of the kind of text block that takes up almost no space on the screen, but caused you a lot of work!
Emma
Oh the research...
Ya caught that huh? Lol I really tried to keep the brain stuff short and sweet - but I do tend to bloat my stories and just went with it. In hind sight, probably could have been a bit less...
Cam and Cheryl are certainly going to have a different relationship going forward, but she's still his number two and has always been there for Cam. She'll need Cheryl, a lot like she needed Ali at first.
Garrett the rock - certainly. Keeps Cam tethered to the idea he's there for her. About damn time they threw out the L word. :-)
Thanks Emma! You da bomb Chica!
XOXOXO
Rachel M. Moore...
Hey, wait!
No, no, that’s not bloat! It’s short, relevant to the story, and something a doc would say in like circumstances, so it makes it feel real. All I intended to convey was an appreciation for just how much work a short nugget like that can entail. Which is why you da bomb!
Emma
We cool...
I wanted "doc speak" - someone not paying attention to his audience and happy to throw techo-medical-babble at Cam and her going - WTH, you want me to pass out again?! lol Happy it hit in the realm intended. Hugz Chica! <3
XOXOXO
Rachel M. Moore...
aww, so sweet!
I’ve been in love with you from the very beginning…”
dam it, where can I find a guy or girl like him?
Find me one too!
From the beginning eh? Might be some powerful stuff in that precognition stuff the men seemed to get within captivity. Wonder what that means though about Cam's visions? Hmmm...
Dot! Huge Hugz to you Chica and Happy Holidays! <3
XOXOXO
Rachel M. Moore...
Blimey!
As we say on my side of the pond.
Another pretty hefty episode with a lot to take in. The discovery that of all people Cam has been given Ali’s womb must be shattering on so many levels. Impossible to understand from a male perspective and so difficult for a woman in Cameron’s unique situation, together with the pain of carrying something from a lost friend. It’s almost unbearable.
I’m shaking my head as I type. Yet Cameron and Garrett choose to see the positive side, and once her concerns about her ability to give birth normally have been allayed, plus Garrett’s confession of love, all finally seems set fair.
We’re nearly there - aren’t we?
Thanks Rachel. xx
☠️
Gotta...
Figure out a way to use the word "Blimey" somewhere! :-) As to the Cam / Ali connection - certainly a bit of talk about reversal - but ya know that's likely not gonna happen right? Her friend, her DNA likely part of that child, and Garrett there too and solidly vested...
Correct, we're nearly there - but what about her visions? Brown 'stache guy? Past, future, something Ali experienced? Might need to answer that before I can close this out. We're close though - likely two average chapters should do it, maybe a time jump even to catch a glimpse of the future... The bumps aren't over just yet. Hang in there!
Hugz to you and Thank You for following along! You're always such a encouraging commenter! Appreciate you so much!
XOXOXO
Rachel M. Moore...
Memories...
In the real world, transplant recipients have been known to receive memories from the donor.
While the men have had prescient visions for some unknown reason, it's entirely possible that Cam is seeing genuine memories from Ali's life.
receiving memories from a donor
that idea was what was the germ for my Halloween story, I am worried about my brother.
Need to find that one...
Dot... I don't recall reading that. Thanks for the suggested story! Hugz Chica! <3
XOXOXO
Rachel M. Moore...
you can find it here:
https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/104039/i-am-worried-a...
Thank you!
<3
XOXOXO
Rachel M. Moore...
I've heard that!
Especially w/ heart transplants, but that's RL and we're playing with fiction - the visions thing is the last thing to clear up or could gum up Cam's future... Stay tuned! Thank you Ray! Hugz!
XOXOXO
Rachel M. Moore...
Terrific Story
And a great ending!
Wait! You mean there's more?
Just a tiny, itty bitty...
Little bit of some'n some'n to cement a last point. Just need time to bang on the keys - but it's holiday time w/ family, so not doing much of anything but eating waaaay too much! Thanks Abel! Hugz and Merry Christmas! <3
XOXOXO
Rachel M. Moore...