Chapter 5

Ellie called her family first, to let them know that we would pop in when we were in Norfolk. There was a signing session at a bookstore in Norwich, after which we had a day off. It was her mother that brought up the problem with it being written by two women, which allowed Ellie to tell her that she would send a picture of the new me to her phone. She did this when she had finished the call.

Then I rang the publisher first, to confirm that there would be two women at the signing table. Ellie sent him the picture of me. He said that he would have time to get posters out when he got the picture. He had given us a week after the finish of the course, but, with the fact that we had been allowed to finish early, we had just over two weeks before we were needed at the first venue, a big store in London. We looked up the area on the internet and booked ourselves into a nearby hotel for a couple of nights.

“Come on, Mad. You’re only trying to put off the inevitable. Ring your home!”

I rang my old home, somewhere I hadn’t slept now for over three years. Mum picked it up.

“Hello, Mum, it’s Clarence.”

“Lovely to hear your voice, dear. You do sound a little different. Have you caught a cold?”

“It’s not a cold, Mum. Have you read the new book? I’m sorry that I didn’t send you a copy, but we were somewhere between South Africa and Australia when it came out.”

“My you do get around. Yes, I’ve read it, and so has everyone I know. That’s a wonderful story, and congratulations to you and Ellie.”

“It’s created a bit of a problem, Mum. We have been booked in for a signing tour this summer, by the publisher. He was adamant that the book has two female authors, so the public expects to see two women signing their book.”

“That could be a problem. How are you solving it?”

“The Drama department, here in Antwerp, has helped me look like the other woman, so, it will be two females that come and see you when we get home.”

“Oh, my! Send me a picture so I can see what you look like. Otherwise, I might say ‘Not today, dear’ and close the door again.”

“Ellie is sending you one she has just taken. We have booked into a hotel in London for the first signing. Can you book us into the hotel in Barking again?”

“No need, dear. There’s lots of room here, now. Belinda has moved in with her boyfriend in Southend, and your brother has moved in with his boyfriend in London. So, there’s two empty rooms. I’ll make up the beds for you if it’s just a few days. Text me the likely date that we’ll see you, and I’ll find a fatted calf to slaughter.”

“Thanks, Mum. We have a few things to sort out before we can leave, and I’ll let you know. I’m looking forward to seeing you all.”

When I ended the call, I sat there for a few moments.

“You look serious, Mad. Something wrong at home?”

“Not wrong, love. Just out of left field. Mum is going to make up the beds in Belinda’s old room, and also Adrian’s old room. It seems that both have left home while I’ve been away and are living with their boyfriends.”

“Boyfriends? Both of them?”

“Yes. Now I know why Adrian was so mean to me when I was younger. I think that he may have been jealous that I turned out small, while he wished he could be. It will be interesting to see if he is the alpha in his couple, or not. I’m going to give Belinda a call, this evening. I’ve got her mobile number.”

When I looked at my laptop, there was an email from Madeline to tell me that my new passport was ready. I thought that I had just lost the old one because of my change. It would be interesting to see what it looks like. I was starting to worry about heading home on my British one. It would be a pain to transform back to Clarence just to get through customs. I answered her to say that we would be popping in tomorrow, and that we would be heading across the Channel after that. I then got on the ferry website and booked the car and two people for the trip back to Harwich.

The next morning, we dressed in similar denim skirts and tops, with cardigans. It was the first day I was able to put on a pair of tights without destroying them. Our IDs got us into the building and up to the office. There, we went to see Madeline. She gave me a new diplomatic EU passport, in the name of Patricia Olivia Shelley, and with F in the sex box. She then told us to wait until the President could see us.

After about twenty minutes, the President opened her door and beckoned us in. She sat us down, next to the big window, and asked us how we were. We didn’t have to tell her that I was working hard being Patricia, as she could see it herself. We told her that we had gained high marks from Antwerp and were going to get the ferry back on the day after.

“Ellie and Pat. You know what you did for us since you walked into this building has changed a lot of thinking. Every task I gave you has been fulfilled without complaint. That play you wrote, and the book, have addressed the problems that we will face as the plan moves forward. I want you back here after you’ve finished the signing tour. To that end, this is a letter to the administration of the University of Essex, requesting your assistance in this building. It will tell them some of what you’ve done, enough that they should allow you the move. There is also a letter from the Chancellor at Antwerp, saying that they will take over your assessment for your final year, and present you with your degrees in a year’s time.”

“Thank you, Madame President. That is more than we could have hoped for. We were thinking that we may have to postpone our final year if we came back.”

“It’s perfectly all right. Between us we have shifted world thinking, and nothing would be too much for the brightest minds in the place. Tell me, do you have another book on the go?”

I told her about the nugget of plot about the housing project. It wasn’t a lot, but it made her smile.

“I couldn’t believe the story that you came up with for that play. The director from Amsterdam has been on to us about funding their own season of it. They will put it on at the end of summer, so you’ll probably be asked to attend the opening night. Look, have a good signing tour and let us know when you’re coming back. Your salary will continue as your holiday pay. Actually, you are due for a raise starting your second year with us.”

We thanked her for all she had done for us and left, going to our office and redirecting our emails to Madeline while we were going to be away. That evening, we packed our bags, mine being very different from the contents I had arrived with. Ellie instructed me in the proper packing of my new wardrobe. We put the big bags in the car, having an overnight bag each for what we would have in the morning. All my Clarence things stayed in the wardrobe, along with our winter stuff. I would have to go shopping when the weather closed in.

We said our goodbyes to Jules and Juliette and left to head for the ferry in the early morning. Customs was a breeze with our EU passports, and we were on board and ready to go when my phone rang. I pulled it out of my bag as if I had been doing just that all my life. It was the publisher.

“Where are you?”

“On the ferry, waiting to leave, why?”

“Because I have a gentleman in my office who wants to talk to you both. He is talking about the film rights of the book.”

“We’ll be in Barking for a week, with my family, but have booked into a hotel in London on the day before the first signing. Can he wait until then?”

I listened as there was a conversation on the other end.

“Can you come to London a few days earlier? I’ll extend your booking.”

“We can do that; I’ll text you the booking details.”

Ellie was watching me as the conversation went on.

“So, what was that about. Does he want to alter our tour?”

“Not really. He wants us to be in London a couple of days earlier so we can talk to a man who was in his office. They want to discuss film rights.”

“Oh, come on. Pull the other one!”

“No joke, Ellie, love. It looks as if Elaine and Patricia are going to be the writers of a story which will get a screen adaptation. Don’t hold any hopes that it will be true to the book. I’ve read about other writers selling the rights and not recognising the story that the film depicted.”

“It’s a good job we didn’t wait to get you acting as Pat. We’ll be able to do this, as long as we stay off the radar of the people we knew before.”

We were moving away from the shore when she leaned in and kissed me. It was an interesting experience, lipstick to lipstick.

“That was nice, but a bit sudden.”

“There’s a couple of lads further along the rail who have been looking at us for several minutes. I got the idea that they were just about to come over, so I wanted to put them off.”

“Wow, there are so many more things I have to learn. What would we have done if they had not stopped.”

“This is where you find out, because they’ve continued the approach.”

Just then there was a voice behind me.

“Are you ladies a couple? If so, it doesn’t matter. All we ask is that you talk to us when our friends come up from their car. They’ve been on our backs to get girls but we’re trying to hide our true likes.”

I turned around to him, to see a good-looking pair of men.

“That’s all right. How come you’re heading for Harwich, at the beginning of the summer holidays?”

“We’ve been on a placement year with the University of Cologne, we’re doing an engineering course.”

“We’ve been on placement with Antwerp. How did your year go?”

We found a table and sat down. The boys bought us drinks and we had a very interesting discussion about the life at university. When we were asked if we were OK with them being gay, I told them that my big brother was living with his boyfriend. It was a pleasant voyage and I followed Ellie’s lead in giving both of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek as we pulled into Harwich, with their friends obviously trying not look as if they were jealous.

When we got through immigration, we headed for Colchester, stopping at a motel overnight. In the morning, we went into the University and entered the administration area. We asked to see our main lecturer and said that we had got back early from our placement year. It took several minutes before we were given the permission to go to his study, somewhere we had been before. We knocked and went in, and he told us to sit.

“Now, what can I do for you ladies?”

“We’ve been on placement to Antwerp, sir. I know I don’t look like it, but I’m Clarence Higgins, and this is Elaine Terrey. We have a letter for you from Antwerp, and another from the EU Commission President. Perhaps you should read them before we go any further. We don’t know what is in the letters, as they were given to us already sealed.”

We sat quietly while he opened and read both letters, then read them a second time.

“Do you have your passports with you?”

We took both our passports out of our bags and passed them over. He looked at them and then handed them back.

“So, Clarence, you have a diplomatic passport in the name of Patricia Shelley. With this being Elaine Terrey, do I have a pair of best-selling authors sitting in front of me?”

“You do, sir. We are back in England to go on a book-signing tour for several weeks, and our publisher laid down the law that I had to front up as Patricia. Then, we have been told that we can go back to Belgium and that Antwerp will take us through our final year.”

“So, this letter from the EU tells me that you have been working as the speechwriters to the Commission President.”

“That’s correct, we were asked to put together a report and it snowballed from there.”

“Did you write her speech in early December, where she took the whole world on a new direction?”

“We did, sir.”

“Well, I congratulate you both. Not only have you been part of the biggest story in the last ten years, but you’ve also written a very good book. I read it after getting it for my birthday. What else did you do while you were so busy?”

“We produced a play for Antwerp drama, which is going to open in Amsterdam in a couple of months.”

“Look, you two are likely the first students to become famous while you’re still enrolled. I’m happy to let Antwerp take you on to your finals. I suppose that what I’ve read in the letters are to be considered secret?”

“If you can, sir. Our work with the EU has been extremely sensitive, as you can tell by our passports. We’ll be in Colchester in the next few weeks, at a signing. Bring your book and we’ll give you a special dedication.”

“You’ve got a deal. Anything else I can do for you?”

“You’ve already done what’s needed, sir. We’re very grateful that you saw us and will sign us over. There’s a lot of work that we need to do in Brussels.”

“Are they paying you?”

“We’re both on a salary with the EU and have an office of our own. It’s likely to turn into a career.”

“I envy you that job, part of the centre of world decisions, but in the background.”

We left the University in good spirits and headed for Barking. When we pulled up outside the house, Mum rushed out and helped us out of the car, hugging us both.

“My, Patricia, you’re very pretty, you’ll be swatting the boys away with a stick!”

“You should have seen her with the boys on the ferry, Mrs H. She was so natural and had them eating out of her hand.”

“They just wanted the last of the peanuts, Ellie.”

We took our cases inside, with a room each. It would be the first time we had slept apart in nearly three years but would only be a few nights. We told Mum that we needed to be in London earlier than expected but would try to get back before we went back to Belgium.

“What about Essex?”

“We will be transferred to Antwerp for our final year but need to be in Brussels for our work.”

“Yes, that work. You send cards from all over the world, at the same time that the EU honcho was flying about. Where you on that plane?”

“We were, Mum, and spending a lot of time writing speeches for her. We are both employed by the EU, and we also have an arrangement with Antwerp to produce a couple of assignments. The Chancellor and the EU President are old friends and our work with her gets classed as study. The only thing that we’ll have to do for our finals is to produce a thesis. We’ll have to ask if another book will be good enough.”

When Jim came in after picking up William from primary, we had told Mum enough to pass on to him, with the warning that we wanted secrecy. Little William was puzzled by the strange ladies in the house. I sat down on the floor beside him.

“Billy Boy, are you looking after my old room?”

“That was Clarrie’s room, silly.”

“Last time I saw you, I was Clarrie.”

“Is this a disguise? I saw Adrian in a dress once. He wasn’t happy and told me not to say anything to Mum or Dad.”

“It is a disguise, Billy Boy. I have to be like this to meet lots of people over the next few weeks. If I showed up as Clarrie, they would get very upset.”

“You some kind of spy, or something?”

“It’s the ‘or something’, Billy. It’s a secret.”

“Kewl!”

It’s amazing what children can accept when presented with complications. I was OK as a girl because I must be an agent. If only all life was that easy.

The next day, we took Mum down to Southend, where we met up with Belinda for lunch. She had, of course, brought along the books I hadn’t signed, so we did a mini signing for her. She accepted that I needed to be Patricia for the tour and asked the one question I had avoided thinking about.

“So, Patricia. Are you going to go back to being a boring boy, or are you staying the bright and cheerful girl that I see now?

“That depends, Belle. When this tour is over, there may be another, and our publisher is adamant that the public needs to see two women. And then there could be the film premiere, it would be interesting to be on the red carpet in something very expensive.”

“Film premiere? What did I miss?”

“We’re meeting a guy next week about the film rights. Whether it gets made or not will be up to him.”

“Let me guess, I have to keep this secret until the announcement, right?”

“Sorry, Belle, but them’s the breaks.”

When she went back to work, the three of us went on the pier. Believe it or not, it was the first time any of us had stepped foot on it. We sat on a bench, looking at the ships and licking ice creams. All of a sudden, I felt that this was right, with the breeze wafting my now-longer hair, and making the hem of my skirt flutter. While I had Elaine beside me, there was no way I would transition, but being considered bright, cheerful and pretty was something to cherish.

We didn’t go to see the writers group, because it would have let the cat out of the bag. Knowing how they gossiped, it would have been all over Dagenham in days. We packed up our things, once more, and left my family to go to the hotel in London.

There, we were welcomed by a doorman, had our bags carried by young men, and the car taken to be parked by a valet. There was a sign behind the reception that welcomed Elaine Terrey and Patricia Shelley, as well as photos of us. It seemed that the publisher had organised a special signing and a ‘get to know the authors’ session for invited guests only, to be held in one of the function rooms tomorrow, followed by a dinner in one of the private rooms. It was all set out in a note that was handed to us. There was a debit card and an address of a dress shop where we could get new outfits.

In our room, we held each other close and kissed.

“Welcome to the madhouse, darling. We’ve gone and dived into the deep end here.”

“The only thing we need to do, is to learn to swim, Mad. Let’s see about getting some lunch and then we’ll go and see how far the debit card goes.”

We had a nice shower, using the supplied lotions, and then dressed to go and try on some dresses. By this time, I was able to use normal underwear, and the waist clincher made my figure look right, as long as I watched what I ate. So, we dressed to try things on and went down to the dining room.

There, we discovered that we had a special table, in full view of other patrons, and, during our light lunch, we both signed autograph books brought over to our table by teenage girls. It was interesting to hear their comments, when they said that it was about time someone spoke up for ordinary people. When we went to the main entrance, the doorman called a cab for us, and we told the driver where we wanted to go. We paid him, in cash, with a tip, and he told us that he would loop by in about an hour or so, to see if we were ready to go back to the hotel.

In the shop, we found that the card would cover our purchases, including shoes, so tried on some things that looked stunning on Elaine. When I looked in the mirror, I had to agree with her and our assistant that I looked good as well. Because it was an afternoon do followed by dinner, cocktail dresses were all right, and we both took two-inch heels to match our dresses, as we knew that we may be standing around a lot.

The taxi was just coming down the road when we stepped outside, and he whisked us back to the hotel, where the doorman paid him. I guess that it was all added to our account. These things, alone, made us certain that the book was making a lot of money, both for us and the publishers. We would need to get him to give us a full statement when we saw him.

He was sitting in the foyer when we walked in with our bags in hand. He stood and gave us both hugs, then waved to a lad to take our bags up to our room for us. He led us through to the bar, where he sat us in an alcove and a girl came over to take a drink order. With our drinks in front of us, and the small talk out of the way, he came straight to the point.

“You girls are the hottest pair in town, right now. The books have been flying off the shelves since Christmas. I have a lot of money that is your share of the proceeds, but I advise you to do a couple of things before I pay it. One, you need an accountant. Two, you need him to form a limited liability company to take your money and let you pay minimum taxes and to deduct your own salaries and expenses from. The early books were petty cash compared to the latest one, but everything except the Clare Higgins range are selling well.”

“I suppose that you have an accountant that you recommend?”

“No, I haven’t. There are a lot in this town, and I have a list of those who deal with my clients for you to pick your own. They will do the paperwork, and you should have a company going within a few weeks, certainly before you finish this tour.”

“All right, give us the list and we’ll call one this afternoon. Now, tell us, who are coming to this special session tomorrow?”

“There will be literary types, from other authors to critics. Then there are those who are the movers and shakers of the book world. Lastly, we have the man who was in my office when I rang you, as well as two of his competitors who want to bid for the rights. That’s one of the biggest reasons that you need to move on protecting yourselves. By the way, what did Clarence think about missing out on all this?”

I laughed.

“I must be doing well if you think he’s not here, sitting in front of you. You wanted two women, and we have given you two women. No actresses, no subterfuge, just us who met you in your office a year or so ago before we went to Belgium.”

“Wow, you’re good. This makes things so much easier. I thought that I would have to coach one of you and deal with Clarence on the side. Thank you for that. How are you doing with the university?”

“We both have high marks, so far, and will be going back to Antwerp for our final year. Hopefully, we’ll have another book for you during that time.”

“Something as up-to-the-moment as ‘The Last Wave, I hope. It was amazing how that went on the shelves within weeks of the EU announcement, along with the foreword from Madame President herself. It made the story seem so real.”

“It is real, we’ve seen the research. There’s nothing in that book that is unlikely to happen. That’s what makes it so readable. That’s why we need to be in Brussels. It’s not a work of fiction, but a work of possible fact.”

Marianne Gregory © 2024