Landing On Her Feet

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Landing On Her Feet

“Farfetched” – Frank Leslie’s Illustrated Newspaper
“Weak ending” –New York World

Philip leaves his intolerant family to start a new life on the coast. Is his sister Vivian as bad as the rest? Time will tell.

“I’m in!!” Philip cheered, having successfully just hacked his way into the computer network where his father worked. Now to poke around and see what was there, and if there were any other barriers.

By the time he reached high school Philip Cochran discovered he had a real talent for computer hacking. The whole concept seemed to come easily to him and he seemed to instinctively understand how everything worked. Thirsty for knowledge he learned all he could about it, from whoever knew anything, and was very fortunate not to get caught poking around where he had no business being. He wasn’t hacking to disrupt or steal any information; it was all about the thrill of getting past all the increasingly sophisticated security measures.

In college he took computer science courses such as computation, fundamentals of computer science, compilers and operating systems, and so many more—essentially any and all things relating to computers. Upon graduation he returned home to Buffalo and shortly was headhunted by Bolden Inc., a strong national firm which had a large department devoted to testing security limits of their client companies.

-o0o-

Not one person knew that Philip had struggled silently all his life with gender identity issues. For self-preservation he’d been able to act like a fairly regular—if nerdy—boy growing up. No, he didn’t have much in the way of friends, but he wasn’t called names or bullied, just left alone.

And now that he had a good job and was out from under the parental roof he decided to do something about the issue. In short order Gender Dysphoria was diagnosed and some options laid before him. Living as a woman was not something which he had ever allowed to surface in his mind, because his parents were religious fundamentalists, and he had grown up with his father’s disfavor heavy on his shoulders. Disapproval of his slight frame and lack of strength, lack of interest in boy things, macho things, sports… the list went on. His father wasn’t one hundred percent bad, but that sense of disapproval overlaid much of his childhood, and it was in stark contrast to how his older brothers, Jeff and Tim, were treated. They were both rather like clones of their father: large, muscular, macho. They were encouraged and congratulated on all their manly activities. Philip didn’t feel like his parents gave him much attention at all, other than rules and disapproval. Therefore he always felt like a second-class citizen in the Cochran home.

His mother always seemed to go along willingly with whatever his father decreed. At the very least she never expressed an opinion contrary to his. To her, he was The Man and the head of household. His word was law there.

Jeff and Tim had no use at all for him growing up, and mostly ignored his existence. If they had to talk to him, they only called him Runt. His younger sister, Vivian, was the apple of the old man’s eye. Yet he even treated her as if she was incapable of serious thought, in spite of her obvious intelligence, college degree and good job. Philip and Vivian were only fourteen months apart, and were friendly, but she knew on which side her bread was buttered, and tried not to upset the natural order within the house. So she was not as supportive as Philip might have liked. For some reason family seemed important to Philip while growing up, but as he entered his ‘teens and the years passed he realized he would never have their approval.

Jeff and Tim, both in their late twenties, still lived in the parental home, and were considered successes in their blue-collar jobs, while both Philip and Vivian had moved out as soon as humanly possible. While they were not thought of as failures, they were very undervalued. Both were periodically invited for Sunday dinners with the other four.

And thus it was that when, after a dinner at the parents’ house, Philip got his nerve up and announced to his family his diagnosis of Dysphoria, and that he intended to explore gender alternatives, unsurprisingly not a voice spoke up to support him. His father’s face darkened.

“You little faggot! I’m coming up for a promotion at work, and I can’t afford to be seen as the father of a pervert. Can‘t you control yourself?”

Once it became clear that the discussion was about Philip the brothers’ attention was elsewhere; they weren’t even listening. Vivian couldn’t even meet his eyes and looked embarrassed. His mother seemed to have the same expression on her face that you’d expect if she had happened to step in dog poo.

“C’mon Dad, tell me what you really think,” Philip said, in a show of bravado.

“Why you little shit—” his father began, and started to get up.

Philip didn’t really see any point in continuing the discussion, which wasn’t actually a discussion at all.

“I am finished with you all,” he announced, and walked out.

-o0o-

“Could’ve gone worse,” he said to himself, as he drove away. There was no violence, at least. Ever since high school Philip had begun to dissociate himself from the family. The constant disapproval was very wearing… hard on the spirit. The disregard of his existence by his brothers was only business as usual, so that was no loss. Vivian he wasn’t sure about. He had thought they were close, but heck, she couldn’t even look him in the eye, and certainly didn’t speak up for him. Still, he would reserve judgment on her. Obviously it was just too much to ask for the slightest acceptance from those people. He didn’t wish them ill, but he also couldn’t see any up side in having them a part of his life anymore. Going over the scene again in his head he was surprised his father had not brought up religious objections. Instead it was all about how he would be perceived by his employers.

Over the next few weeks Philip applied for a transfer to the west coast office, and as Bolden had a very good non-discrimination policy, he conferred with the Human Resources department about the possibility of starting work on the coast as a woman. Then he wrapped up affairs at his current residence. The transfer went through, and he was gone.

-o0o-

Once in Los Angeles he lost no time in locating an LGBT-friendly medical office, and then started his Real Life Experience. He wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted, but living as a woman was definitely something he needed to try.

Being very curious, he contacted a dressing service to at least find out what he might look like as a she. What surprised him most was that the instant he put on the new clothes he felt better. It was a revelation. Looking in the mirror, once hair and makeup had been finished, reinforced that revelation. This was who she was! Everything about her appearance suddenly made sense! And there was so very much to learn. Naming herself Penelope she resolved to give this lifestyle a very, very serious try. If things didn’t work out, she still didn’t have to be a so-called ‘Man.’ Androgynous might work. At any rate, Penny would need a friend to help her find her way. Her therapist suggested several ways of finding people who might help mentor her.

Many months down the road, once she had mastered the very basic basics of presenting as a woman, she set about doing something for her family. She had been thinking of them a lot, and decided there was not one reason she could think of why she would want to see them again. Other than Vivian—maybe—none of them even seemed to like her. She wrote an anonymous but somewhat bitter letter to them.

To the Cochran family,

As a friend of Philip Cochran I am writing to inform you of his accidental death. He had been depressed lately, and was hit by a car when crossing the street. I was told he died instantly.

Philip told me how poorly his family treated him, so I am guessing his death will mean very little to you, but I thought you should know. As his friend I will take care of his funeral expenses, so you don’t need to worry about having to pay for your own child’s burial.

Please don’t interpret the postmark as an indicator of where Philip lived. This letter is simply as a courtesy to you, not because I think you deserve it.

Leaving it unsigned, Penny put the envelope in another envelope and sent it to a college friend in Arizona, and asked for the letter to be sent from there.

She felt that with her death her father wouldn’t be troubled anymore at work about having a pervert for a son. No one would feel the necessity to ignore their own brother anymore. And in a way it was true that Philip was dead.

There was something that felt very final about sending this letter. In one way it seemed drastic, but she found it impossible to imagine any tears being shed over her.

Time to really get on with her life.

-o0o-

When her mother called Vivian to read her the letter about Philip’s death she was grief-stricken. She had felt terrible about herself ever since that day he walked out. She should have spoken up for him, but she didn’t like rocking the boat, and she was afraid of her father’s reaction, especially after the names he had called Philip. Maybe if she had tried harder to stay in touch and be his friend he wouldn’t have dropped all contact and gotten depressed. She felt like a traitor. Then she felt a real anger toward her father building.

Letting the anger spur her, she drove to her parents’ house to confront him. Striding into the house she found him there, lounging in his favorite recliner and watching ESPN. She stood in front of him.

“Thanks to your bigoted attitude Philip is dead!”

He didn’t appear too annoyed with her interruption, and now, taking a good look at him, he seemed to have less tension than she was used to seeing. He looked at her, standing there.

“He was an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. No great loss.”

She stood there gaping at him for a while. It was just too hard to believe that anyone could think of their own child that way.

“If that’s really the way you feel, if that is your true so-called Christian attitude, then we have nothing more to say to each other. Today you just lost another of your children. I can’t believe you even have a heart.”

Now he just gave her a pitying smile. It was apparent he didn’t take her seriously, but she walked out of the house as Philip had a year or so earlier, went ahead and removed herself from her parents’ lives. Her mother, as usual, apparently agreed with her father. She hadn’t spoken up at all during that family meeting, but Vivian had felt the distaste for Philip in her mother’s manner. And when she had read Vivian the letter she didn’t seem very sorry about his death either. Jeff and Tim had hardly any more use for her than for Philip. She wouldn’t be surprised if by now they didn’t recall they had even had a brother. It was also hard to imagine them taking any woman seriously.

-o0o-

In Los Angeles things were going as well as could be expected for Penny. She was learning more about being a woman all the time, and it just felt right to her. ‘Why did I wait so long to try this?’ she asked herself. She knew very well why, but she couldn’t help asking herself.

Around the time she broke up with her family she had installed spyware on her sister’s computer, and she would check her sister’s e-mail every couple months, just to keep tabs on what was going on. Partly this was because she couldn’t actually believe that Vivian was that shallow, and partly that she hoped Vivi would someday have a change of heart.

About a year after the move to California she was surprised to read, in an e-mail Vivi had sent to her friend Charlotte, that she had cut her family off. She blamed them for Philip’s death. Her mother persisted in calling to invite her to family dinners, as if her cutting them off was just a silly notion, so she was thinking of changing her phone number. She was even considering finding a job in another city to put some distance between her and her parents. She wrote that the more she thought about them, the more she found herself at odds with their cavalier attitude toward Philip’s death, and their lack of love.

Well well, this was interesting. Maybe Vivi hadn’t spoken up for her that day because she was scared, but she had apparently gotten braver since then.

The next time she invaded Vivi’s e-mail there was a letter to Charlotte about how much she missed Philip, and how guilty she felt about her lack of support.

An idea of how to help Vivian began forming in her mind. Vivian worked for a multinational corporation, in accounting. What if Penny could get her a job here at the west coast office of Bolden? This would help her start a new life, if she wished.

Penny had a good reputation at her company. There had been no hiccups at all from her change from Philip to Penny, although changing locations had probably helped a lot. So when she inquired about a job for her sister, Personnel was receptive. They sent Vivian a job offer. Penny realized this might come across as very odd, but maybe Vivian wouldn’t question it. She wasn’t sure Vivian was even aware that Bolden was her company.

-o0o-

As it turned out, Vivian was not surprised by the offer. She had sent out so many résumés she had forgotten which companies she had sent them to. This offer from Bolden sounded good, and they had offered to fly her out to California for an interview. (Penny had actually paid for the ticket, and Personnel had gone along with it.)

Vivian flew out to John Wayne Airport, in Santa Ana, and was met by a company driver. She was taken to a hotel (also provided by Penny) where she cleaned up and rested after her flight. The interview would be the next morning.

The phone in her room rang.

“Ms. Cochran?”

“This is she.”

“This is Sarah Parks, from Bolden. I’ve been asked to invite you to dinner with one of our employees in the hotel’s restaurant at 6:15 p.m. Would you be available?”

“Oh! Well, yes, of course! Thank you, that would be great.”

“Excellent. Penelope, a Bolden staff member, will meet you at the restaurant then. She has your picture so she’ll know you.”

“Thank you very much!”

-o0o-

Penny’s heart rate was way up as she waited down in the restaurant for Vivian to appear. Would Vivi scream? Faint? Was this really the best venue to have a reunion?

She was in a navy blue, conservative skirt suit. Her hair and makeup were done to the best of her ability. She wasn’t sure Vivian would recognize her, but any minute now she would find out.

Just then she saw Vivi leaving the elevator and starting toward the restaurant. Her eyes darted around to look for someone she didn’t know.

As she reached the entrance and walked in Penny approached her with her hand out and smiled.

“Ms. Cochran? Welcome to Los Angeles. I’m Penny, from Bolden.”

Vivi automatically smiled and put her hand out to shake, and then took a good look at Penny. Her eyes got very wide and her hand slowed down. She stared hard at Penny as they just held hands, frozen in the middle of the handshake. Penny looked just like… and she had the same small mole near her left ear… but this couldn’t be…

“Penny? Phili…?” she said slowly, staring at her, as her other hand went to cover her mouth, and her eyes filled with tears. “Oh. My. God,” she whispered.

Penny pulled her into a hug.

“It’s okay, sis,” Penny said into her ear, as they continued to hug.

“How…wh…”

“I’ll tell you all about it.”

“How… how can you even stand to look at me?”

“Vivi, I’m sure you were scared to speak up that day, but I never felt you were like the rest of them.”

They released each other, and Vivian went into her purse for a tissue. The maître’d came over and showed them to a booth. Vivian kept looking at Penny and trying to get her emotions under control.

“I thought you were dead.”

“That was for dad’s benefit. With me dead he couldn’t be embarrassed by me, or blame me for his not getting a promotion.”

“I can’t believe you would think of doing anything for him. I hate to tell you this, but when I confronted him about your death, he told me ‘no great loss.’”

“Ooh. That really is a blow…Ha! Kidding! Nothing like the love of a parent, is there? Well, he wasn’t totally bad; he never beat us. However, now that you tell me that I’d say…maybe just ninety-nine-point nine percent bad. But I’m glad they’re all out of my life. It wasn’t fun trying to live up to his expectations, and to try and be someone I wasn’t.”

“I presume by that you mean to try and act like a macho dumbbell?”

“Good choice of words, Vivi. You know about my diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria. When I came out here I took action and decided this was exactly what I needed to do,” she said, gesturing at her body. “And once I tried it, it felt so natural. So much more comfortable than trying to be a man. I made the right decision. But what about you and the family, Vivi?”

“I, I cut them off,” said Vivian. “I blamed them for your death.”

Penny looked at her.

“Now that you know the truth, are you sorry?”

She lifted her chin. “No, not a bit! They never treated you well.”

“Vivi, did they treat you well?”

“Well, in the context of the family I was treated well, at least I was if I behaved like a good little girl with no brains. Jeff and Tim and I were treated better than you, but you were like the, um, Cinderella of the family.” She looked at Penny. “Your dress sense has really improved since those days,” she giggled.

“Hah! What I’m getting at, Vivi, is, did you cut yourself off just for my sake? And because of something that never happened?” she asked gently.

“But Penny, something did happen! Not one of them were sorry to see you walk out. I doubt that you were given a thought after that day. But I felt the loss, believe me! I may have sucked at showing you my support, but I missed you, and I felt so awful when I learned of your death. It really brought home to me how I failed you. Plus, when I confronted dad, he just treated me like a stupid little girl who knew nothing.”

Penny put her hand over Vivian’s.

“That’s all over now. Do you think you’ll take the job here?”

Vivian narrowed her eyes. Something about this whole situation…

“This was all you, wasn’t it! The job offer and all.”

“Of course!”

“Well then, I’d love to live out here, and work with you.”

“Vivi, um, before you agree to anything, I need to come clean to you about something.”

“I can’t imagine what.”

“I hacked into your e-mail on several occasions. I wanted to keep track of you, and when I learned about you cutting the family out of your life, I thought you could do with a new lifeline. I’m sorry.”

Vivian thought about it.

“You know what? I’m okay with it. I doubt there was anything so confidential that I would feel bad about my sister reading it. And if the result is that we’re together again, then I’m really good with it!” she said, beaming.

“Thank you, sis. That really is a load off my mind. And let me add that, if you are interested, you can live with me. I have plenty of room.”

“You really are a remarkable person, Penny. I would love to live with you. By the way, I really like the name you chose! Somehow it just fits you. And you look absolutely great.”

The two enjoyed their dinner, and Penny caught her up on the progress of her transition.

“I had never seriously thought about becoming a woman, especially growing up with our parents, but I certainly knew being a man was a bad fit. If I had had anything in mind it was just something very…androgynous. The very first time I was all dressed up, though, I just knew it was right for me.”

“I’m glad, Penny. It seems to work pretty well for you.”

After the meal they strolled around the area a bit and then Penny saw her up to her room.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow at eight, sis, and we’ll get breakfast.”

They hugged again, a very heartfelt hug, and Penny left.

-o0o-

Vivian was feeling incredible after the last few hours. Her favorite brother-now-sister had returned from the dead, doubling what family they both now had. She had a job—well, she almost had a job, and it was in sunny California. Not only that, but a place to live without having to scramble all over house-hunting in an area she knew nothing about. Things were really looking rosy!

-o0o-

The job interview went very well and Vivian was hired on the spot. She had to fly back to Buffalo and tie up the loose ends, pack up and move, and that was done over the next two weeks. She didn’t inform her parents about any of this, and decided to go ahead and get herself a new phone number, since her mother refused to get the message that her calls weren’t welcome. As if nothing had changed, la la la.

Penny’s place was pretty nice. It was a cute little house in Pasadena, with lots of light and a good view of mountains, something Vivian wasn’t used to seeing, and which she found calming and refreshing. And Penny refused to accept any money from her for letting her share her home. Yeah, there were a lot of elderly people there, but Penny enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere.

Vivian had fun getting to know Penny-the-woman, and the two would go places together and explore, have dinners at new restaurants, attend events. They got along famously, much better than they had as brother and sister, when survival was the main concern on both their minds.

Being sensitive to her sister’s needs, Penny didn’t want Vivian to live there solely to be her companion. It was wonderful, but Vivian might want something more than that from life.

-o0o-

The sisters commuted to work together most days, and frequently had lunch together. On one occasion Penny asked a fellow employee, Steve Fruhling, to lunch with them. Each time she talked to Steve her mind automatically starting thinking of Vivian. Thinking that he and Vivian might just hit it off, lunch seemed like the ideal place for an introduction. She turned out to be right about her feeling, and Steve lunched with the two of them often after that. He and Vivian started dating and quickly became serious about each other.

After that Steve was over to their house a lot. As the months passed Vivi didn’t want to intrude on Penny’s lifestyle, so they were also frequently at Steve’s place. She felt kind of bad that Penny had no one, and that if things kept on as they were going, she would marry Steve and move out, leaving Penny alone. Now that she thought of it, she couldn’t remember Philip ever having a single date.

“Penny, I haven’t seen you date at all since I’ve been here. What’s the deal?”

“I’m just not looking for a relationship, Vivi. Us computer nerds are often loners.”

Vivi looked at her skeptically. “All right, Sis, what’s the real reason?”

There was a short, uncomfortable silence. Penny didn’t want to lie to her sister.

“Vivi, I, uh, I like women, but statistically there are not many genetic women who are at all interested in transwomen. Some lesbians and feminists are actually quite nasty to us, as if transwomen are trying to take over their territory or something. There are groups of them which even want to exclude us from LBGTQ events, as if there was no ‘T’ in the acronym. I learned about all this after I moved out here, and while I don’t like the behavior, I’m not losing sleep over it. It’s more important for me to feel like who I truly am than to try and fake being a man in order to get a date. Or to pretend to be a genetic woman to attract a lesbian, or to be attracted to men, which I am not.

“I have loved having you out here and living with you, and I hope that when you move out you’ll stay close enough for us to continue to see each other. Anyhow, there are worse things than being an old maid.”

Vivian was again struck by how remarkable and selfless a woman her sister was. She gave her a big hug.

“Thanks so much for everything you’ve done for me, sis,” she murmured. “You’ve changed my life.”

“Well, uh, what are older sisters for?”

-o0o-

When Vivian and Steve decided to tie the knot, they thought a small, simple wedding would be more appropriate than the big and expensive kind. After all, there was no father to walk Vivian down the aisle, and no mother to fuss over her. So just Penny, and Steve’s immediate family would be there – his parents and sister, Marti. And it would be outside.

When they all met at Steve’s parents’ house for a meal, Penny was impressed with the family. They all seemed very nice, they really seemed to be taken with Vivian, which made Penny very happy. Vivian deserved a loving family. Marti was harder to read; she did seem nice, but Penny was getting some funny signals from her, and she didn’t know what to make of them.

Once she and Vivian were back home she asked about Marti.

“Sis, what do you know about Steve’s sister?”

“I like her. She has some job in the medical field. Why?”

“I ask because I just couldn’t get a solid feeling about who she is. I wonder if she ‘read’ me. Being in the medical field she might have seen something that I’m not aware of.”

“Don’t worry about it, Penny. I know her well enough to know she’s not going to ruin our wedding with any anti-trans rants. She must run across trans patients all the time, don’t you think?”

“No idea. Sorry, Vivi, I don’t want to borrow trouble. I’ll just behave as well as I can.”

But she did keep thinking about it. So far she had been very lucky that no one had clocked her.

-o0o-

On the day of the wedding the sisters drove together and met the Fruhlings at the park, along with a Justice of the Peace. The ceremony didn’t take long, and everyone smiled when the J.P. said he needed to see the marital seal. (the kiss!) Then it was back to the Fruhling’s house, where a feast was ready for the wedding party and invited guests, numbering about twenty five.

Eventually Marti sought out Penny and spent time with her. Penny still was unsure if Marti wanted something from her, and if so, what? So she was as pleasant as she could be. The very last thing she wanted was to cause any kind of rupture between the families.

“So Penny,” said Marti. “You work with Steve at Bolden?”

“Not exactly with him, but we’re both employed there, yes. What about you?”

“Oh, I’m an anesthetist.”

“Is that the same thing as a gas passer?”

Marti laughed. “No, that’s the anesthesiologist. Where did you hear that term?”

“Believe it or not I read it in M*A*S*H, the book.”

“Funny, but then, Richard Hooker was a real doctor.

Then, switching gears…

“You know, Penny, you seem nervous.”

“Mmm. No.”

“If it’s because you’re trans, don’t worry; I have nothing against transwomen.”

Penny’s blood froze, and she tried to cover up her shock, but Marti saw it.

“Why don’t you have a seat over here, Penny. I’m sorry if I startled you, but as a medical professional I can see the signs. The very small signs, I should add.”

Penny had no idea how to respond. She just sat there while her heart slowed back down. Marti rubbed her back a little.

“And let me guess, the reason you have no family here today is because your parents couldn’t stomach the truth.”

“Yes, that’s it exactly, Marti; you’re very perceptive. I never really felt like I was a part of that family, so the same day I came out to them I ended up disowning them. Then Vivian did too, to support me.”

“Sad. But I’m glad you two have each other.”

“Thank you; so am I. I was telling her I hope she doesn’t move too far away from me when she’s married to Steve.”

“Oh, I don’t think Steve has any plans to move. From what I hear, Bolden is a good company to work for.”

“Oh, it is, it is.”

“If you don’t mind my asking, Penny, do you have anyone special in your life?”

“No, I’m fine being on my own.” This was her standard line, the one that she was trying to convince herself of.

Marti looked at her skeptically, but she didn’t respond to the look.

“Well, you’re a good-looking girl. Someone will come along.”

Penny smiled at her, though she had no faith at all in that prediction.

They continued talking for another twenty minutes, and Penny relaxed. She really liked Marti. There was a calmness about her, and a sharp, practical mind which Penny admired.

Vivian and Steve got ready to leave. She took her suitcase from Penny’s car. They were going to drive up to Lake Tahoe for their honeymoon.

The sisters hugged each other, and Penny shed a few tears at the thought of her little sister going off on her marital adventure.

“Be safe, sis.”

“Thanks, and thanks for everything, Penny.”

She gave Steve a hug too, then they left, and Penny drove home.

-o0o-

It took a couple of difficult months for her to make the adjustment back to living alone. Living with Vivi had been very pleasant, so unlike growing up in the Cochran home. But she had lived alone before, and she could do it again. Once Vivian was back home, living with Steve, in their new house, and at work, they went back to having lunch together, many times with Steve. Yes, she was lonely, but being lonely was just something she had decided to accept as the price of living the life she was now living.

Vivian and Steve had dinners pretty regularly, and Penny was often invited, as was Marti. They got to know each other better and Marti could sense her loneliness, which she tried to hide in a show of joviality. About six months after the wedding they were both at Vivian’s house, talking before dinner.

“Penny, do you ever get out?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean socialize. How are you ever going to meet someone if you don’t make yourself available?”

“Oh, Marti, I’m a computer nerd; I spend a lot of time on my computer.”

“And you also spend all day at work on it. Aside from the fact that it’s probably not that healthy, it isn’t doing you any good as far as meeting someone.”

“I don’t know much about socializing, and growing up I never had any friends to socialize with.”

“You could learn…”

By now they knew each other well enough for Penny to let down her guard.

“Marti,” she sighed, “I’m attracted to women, but I learned early on that a lot of lesbians won’t tolerate transwomen. I don’t want to get started in a relationship and then find out they hate me for what I am, completely ignoring who I am.”

“Sadly you’re right that that can happen.”

“So I keep to myself. I told Vivi a while back that it was more important for me to be true to myself than to worry about being an old maid.”

Marti giggled. “Well there’s an old-fashioned term!”

“I can’t help but notice you’re always on your own as well.”

“Well, my job is pretty demanding, but I do date. So far I haven’t come across Mr. Right. I’m still hoping to, though,” she smiled.

“I wish you the best in that, Marti. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you.”

“Likewise, Penny.”

-o0o-

About eight months after that both Marti and Penny found themselves at Vivi and Steve’s house for another dinner, and this time Marti brought along a friend, a tall, very good-looking woman with long, wavy chestnut hair.

“Penny, I’d like you to meet my friend, Christy. We went to high school together and have kept in touch. She loves computers too.”

“Pleased to meet you, Christy. I’m not sure what Marti means by ‘loves computers.’ I hope she doesn’t mean you have a computer as a lover!”

Christy giggled. “Not exactly, no. I use my computer for art projects.”

“Cool.”

Marti went to talk with Vivian, leaving the two alone.

“So Penny, what’s your deal with computers?”

“Oh, I test security for client firms’ websites, to see how hackable they are. Then we suggest ways for them to beef up their security.”

“Sounds interesting. Where are you from?”

“Buffalo, New York, originally. And you?”

“California girl, born and bred.”

The two found they had a lot to talk about. Marti looked over at them. She had a feeling they would get along well. Some months previously she had discussed gender issues with Christy—very circumspectly—to feel her out on the issue of transwomen, and she said she had no animosity towards them. So, now let nature take its course.

-o0o-

As they talked, Penny found herself more and more attracted to Christy. Of course she wasn’t going to do anything about it, but having another friend would be nice. From the vibes she was getting from Christy it was obvious to Penny that she was a lesbian, and that she liked her too. It was hard being attracted to someone who might go off on her if she found out about her past.

Christy did like Penny, and found her very attractive. After the dinner they spoke on the phone and e-mailed and texted each other, but as time passed she was having trouble understanding why their relationship wasn’t moving forward. Other than shopping, Penny would come up with excuses whenever she suggested dates, but she was positive Penny liked her the same way she liked Penny. So what was the issue?

She turned to Marti for help.

“Do you know why Penny won’t go out with me? I can tell she’s interested.”

This was tough. It wasn’t Marti’s place to out Penny to her. What should she say?

“Christy, I do know what the issue is, but it’s not up to me to tell you. I’m afraid you’ll have to confront her yourself. And I think if you do, the outcome will be positive.”

Well, that was encouraging. Christy didn’t like confrontations any more than the average person, but for this she thought she could manage.

-o0o-

Christy phoned Penny.

“Penny, I’d like to come over and talk to you.”

“That sounds ominous.”

“It isn’t, really. There’s just something on my mind and I’d like to discuss it with you in person. Would it be okay if I came to your house?”

“Ah…sure.”

She gave Christy the address, and then automatically scurried around the house tidying things up.

Christy arrived about a half hour later, and it was such a beautiful day that Penny decided to bring her outside to a shaded table in the backyard garden, even after doing all the tidying inside.

“Can I get you something to drink?”

“No, thank you.”

They settled themselves down and Christy got right to the point.

“Penny, I really like you, and I think you like me too.”

Penny shyly nodded.

“But you turn me down every time I bring up dating. Can you please tell me why?”

“I, um, had some bad experiences when I was first out here, and I just don’t want to go through that again.”

“I’m sorry, Penny,” she said. She put her hand on Penny’s, but Penny slipped her hand out from underneath, though there was nothing she would rather have done than leave it there.

Christy ignored that and asked, “Can you tell me what the trouble was? Maybe I could help you get over it.”

Penny was torn. She really did want to have a closer relationship with Christy, but she couldn’t bear the thought of Christy turning on her for daring to be a woman. On the other hand, right now they were just friends. Losing a friend would be better than losing a lover. Wouldn’t it??

She took a deep breath. “Okay, Christy. The reason that I’m leery of relationships is that I’m trans, and some lesbians I was friendly with turned on me like I was the devil when they found out.” She sat back, expecting the worst.

Christy was somewhat shocked. That explanation had never crossed her mind. Then she smiled.

“Oh honey, you being trans is not a problem for me.” She grabbed Penny’s hand again. “I like who you are, and I feel a real connection with you. I know the kind of people you’re talking about and I never understood their hatred towards transwomen.”

Penny could hardly believe this. She knew there must be lesbians out there who didn’t hate people like her, but she despaired of ever meeting one.

“Really?” she whispered.

“Yes, really.” Christy moved her chair closer to Penny’s and gently kissed her.

“I never expected to meet someone…” she trailed off, and stared into Christy’s eyes.

“Well, now you have, and I think we’re going to have a lot of fun together!”

Christie took the lead, and they spent the rest of the visit kissing and snuggling.

-o0o-

The next time Vivian and Steve had a dinner, Penny asked if she could bring a friend. Of course the answer was yes. Vivian was somewhat surprised she had asked, since she never had anyone to come with before. She was even more surprised to see Christy arrive with Penny. The way they stayed close to each other and held hands told her they were now an item.

“Well, Penny? Anything you’d like to tell me?”

Putting on her most innocent expression, she answered, “Tell you? Like what? Did you have something in mind?”

Vivian slapped her on the arm. “Do you want me to hurt you, sis?”

Laughing, Penny said, “No, that won’t be necessary. Yes, Christy and I are seeing each other.”

“I’m so happy you found someone!”

“Actually, I suspect Marti found her for me.”

“You know, Penny, I think you’re right about that,” agreed Christy, putting her arm around Penny’s waist.

“We need to find some way to thank her! Is she coming tonight?”

“Yes, I’m not sure why she hasn’t arrived yet; she’s usually early.”

Just then Marti came in the door. Christy and Penny went right over to her and both hugged her.

Laughing she asked, “What was that for?”

“We just wanted to thank you for bringing us together.”

“Oh! I didn’t know you were together. In that case consider it a lucky accident. I’m no matchmaker!”

“Well, maybe not officially!” said Christy.

-o0o-

During the meal Vivian kept looking at Penny, who seemed to glow with a happiness she had never, ever seen in her. It made her realize that Penny had likely never in her life had a close, loving relationship. She was so happy for her. Christy looked pretty darned happy too. Her eyes misted up a little.

Steve leaned over to her. “Everything okay, Viv?”

“Yeah. I’m just so happy for Penny. She had a rotten childhood and it’s so nice to see her smiling and in love. I have never seen her this happy.”

Steve smiled and kissed her cheek.

“To paraphrase that guy from ‘Fiddler on the Roof,’ ‘even a poor computer hacker is entitled to some happiness,’” he said. “I’ve always liked Penny, but I don’t recall ever seeing her look this happy either. I’m glad for her too.”

-o0o-

And they lived happily ever after… along with, of course, those everyday problems that almost all humans must deal with. You know, good times, bad times, high times and sad times. They got through them all together, with unconditional love for each other.

The End.

Or else:

“Christie, how is this story supposed to end?”

“Hm. What if we just stopped—”

The End.

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Comments

Landing on her Feet...

It is a well-chosen title; a few times it could have gone differently. I suspect for many the road is lonely and bumpy.
Thinking of you Noname1.

Jessie C

Jessica E. Connors

Jessica Connors

Re: Landing on her Feet...

Thanks Jessie C. One tries.
One also tries to remember those English classes from 50-60 years ago!

A New Penny

BarbieLee's picture

Sometimes the hardest part of change is leaving people and an environment one knows. Philip was able to break free from the "battered housewife syndrome" and escape to find a life Penny deserved. The writing of Noname follows the usual cliche but she tells the tale differently from the way everyone else. Excellent story telling and interesting. My biggest interest is how she puts her chapters, her story together. If we were at a car show, her car would be the one that was different.
Hugs Noname
Barb
Life is a gift meant to be lived, not worn until it's worn out.

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

Taking An Interest

joannebarbarella's picture

The first step is getting a little help. Penny nudged Vivian, then introduced her to Steve, which got Marti on her case. Marti brought Christie into the circle and fortuitously the chemistry worked.

A nice story NN1, and well told. I enjoyed it very much.

Fun Story...

...but I'm not sure I understand the review excerpts from two 19th-century newspapers that preceded it. (Then again, I tend to read things more literally than most.)

Eric

Good, better, best

Dee Sylvan's picture

NN1, I have really enjoyed watching your writing skills improve with every story. The dialogue was excellent and the storyline certainly brought me to tears more than once.

Dating is a bit of a dilemma for us trans girls who prefer women to men. I have tried both and feel that gender isn't really the determining factor in whom I am attracted. I had a business lunch today with a longtime female colleague that I have known of for over 25 years. It turned out that we had a really good lunch and are going to pursue doing some work together. As a bonus, I may have found another golf partner. (All of my male former golf friends have gone missing, including family.) I found myself attracted to her, but I don't think I would ever approach her that way. But having another girlfriend would certainly be nice. And she was quite accepting of my trans status, we even went to the restroom together before we left.

I am so glad that you continue to write and post, NN1. Your perspective with your characters are easily relatable for me, and it seems for many. You write about emotions that are familiar, yet sometimes difficult to put into words. Penny is a good person and deserves a happily ever after.

I have found out the hard way, like Penny, that it is difficult if not impossible for family and close friends to accept our transition. But making new friends has been exciting, and validating that we are doing the right thing. Thanks again for posting NN1! :DD

DeeDee

Sweet story

Nicely done. Sure it was formulaic but after reading some of the stories here on BCTS with danger, drama, and extraordinary story lines, it is a welcome break to enjoy a simple love affair read. I enjoyed this.

>>> Kay

re: Sweet story

I did debate selecting the "Slice of life" thingy, but I'm not exactly sure where that applies. Thanks!