March 2, 2022: 11AM – Videotape Transcription and Office Notes

Doctor. Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Lambert. Please have a seat. Frank and Emily, is that right?

Father. Yes.

D. I record all my sessions for later review. You’re probably imagining the old-time psychiatrist with a goatee sitting next to a couch with a notepad and pencil. My wife likes me clean shaven, chairs are more comfortable and modern technology is much more efficient. As to the recordings, I can assure you that HIPPA, a federal law protecting a patient’s privacy, makes them confidential. Do I have your permission to record our sessions?

Mother. (Turns to F. He nods) Yes.

D. Mr. Lambert, I need your verbal permission for the record.

F. Uh huh.

D. I need you to say Yes or No.

F. Yes.

D. You are here about your son, Fred Jr., is that correct?

M. Yes, Doctor. It’s been very difficult. We’ve tried talking to him. We’ve tried punishing him. He won’t stay out of his sister’s room.

F. Or her things.

D. You mean using her personal items or wearing her clothes.

M. Both.

F. I don’t want my son to grow up to be a fairy.

D. A fairy?

F. You know, queer.

D. You mean gay?

F. (Shrugs).

D. I need words please, Frank.

F. Yes.

D. Not every boy who likes feminine things is gay. Sometimes it’s just curiosity. The more you discourage it, the more enticing it can be. Or it could be that he is envious of his sister’s relationship with you, Emily, and wants to be closer to you. That is often the case where the father is very masculine, Frank, and the boy doesn’t easily identify with him.

M. (Shakes head). No Doctor Goodman. He says he’s a girl.

D. How old is your son?

M. He’s seven.

D. When did this behavior begin?

M. I don’t know exactly. When Frankie and Juliet were younger, they used to play with her dolls. Occasionally, I would see that Juliet had dressed him in some of her clothes. I just thought it was harmless make-believe. Now Juliet’s at an age where she wants her privacy. For about the last year she’s been complaining about Frankie going into her room and taking things.

D. And when did Frankie claim to be a girl.

M. About two months ago, Juliet was getting dressed to go to a friend’s birthday party. Frank was at work, so I had to take Frankie with me. He wanted to wear a party dress too. When I told him that he couldn’t, he got very upset. I tried to explain that boys don’t wear dresses. That’s when he said he was a girl. I just thought he was being obstinate, but since then his behavior has gotten worse. He’s constantly getting into trouble at home and at school. Frank tried talking to him and punishing him, but nothing worked. We don’t know what to do with him.

D. I haven’t examined him, but for the purpose of this consultation, I assume he is biologically male. In very rare cases, there can be initial confusion as to a baby’s gender. It’s much more common for boys with undescended testicles to be mistaken for girls, but also, they can be undiagnosed hermaphrodites, having both male and female genitalia.

F. I used to help Emily give them baths when they were younger. There’s never been any question that Frankie is a boy. (Looks at wife. She nods)

D. Of course. Just checking. As I said, I haven’t examined him and I would be remiss to make a diagnosis and treatment plan without making sure that it is gender dysphoria, the DSM-5, it’s a standard psychological reference of mental diseases, term for confusion about one’s true gender, rather than a medical problem. Shall we continue?

F. Yes.

D. Emily?

M. Yes.

D. Good. Now for conversion therapy to work you must be totally committed. Your daughter too. How old is she?

M. Juliet was ten in April.

D. Here’s the important thing. Studies have shown that neither aversive therapy nor rewards are effective. At best, they make the boy more secretive. They hide their behavior. At worst it alienates them. As soon as they are old enough, they run away. The only way to cure their disease is to break them psychologically by destroying their belief that they could ever be a girl. Are you prepared for that?

M. Dr. Goodman, is that, is that necessary? We love Frankie. We don’t want to hurt him. Do you have children?

D. Yes. Mei and Jose. You spoke to my wife when you made this appointment. Andreas’s my secretary. She can’t’ have children, so we adopted. I know that sometimes parents must make difficult decisions for their children’s wellbeing.

M. (Nods).

D. Emily, if your son wanted to eat a gallon of chocolate ice cream, would you let him?

M. No, of course not.

D. Why.

M. Because it’s not good for him.

D. Neither is his confusion about being a girl. That’s what you want, isn’t it. To put an end to his belief that he is or could ever be a girl. Or do you want him to be a fairy, as you put it, Frank. It’s up to you. Like I said, sometimes parents must make difficult decisions.

F. Dr. Goodman’s right, Emily.

M. I wish there was another way.

D. I wish there was too. But scientific studies have shown that there isn’t.

M. (Nods)

D. Yes?

M. Yes.

D. Frank?

M. Yes.

D. My conversion program uses reverse psychology. In the example I gave, you would let your son eat all the ice cream he wanted, until he got sick. That would teach him that there are physically painful consequences for his unhealthy behavior. The same is true for him being transgendered. You need to let him be a girl. Get his sister involved too. Have her help him to pick out a girl’s name. Make sure that you use that name and the correct pronouns: she and her. Take them shopping and buy her (pause) her (emphasis) own wardrobe, the more feminine the better. Nothing resembling his boy’s clothes. Redo his room too. Get rid of anything that would remind him of being a boy. And Juliet needs to encourage him by prentending that he is her little sister. Any reluctance or rejection at this stage will make the treatment ineffective. Your son needs to be totally immersed in his feminine persona, so you should keep him home from school. I will give you a note about him having some behavioral issues that need to be addressed.

F. I don’t understand. How does letting him be a girl turn him back into a boy?

D. By the psychological consequences of having his illusion destroyed. We will need to find the precise time that he is most emotionally vulnerable. Then you will take it all away. Laugh at him. Ridicule him. Let him see how ridiculous it is for him to believe he is or ever could be a girl. With counseling he will overcome the trauma and accept that he is a boy. You will have your son back, Mr. Lambert. That is why you are here, isn’t it. That is what you want.

F. I, I, I don’t know. It seems very severe.

D. Tough love, but necessary. The session is up. Follow the treatment plan I’ve given you and make another appointment for next week. I will need both Frankie and Juliet to come. In the meantime, if you have any questions, concerns or problems, feel free to call me.

F. Thank you, Dr. Goodman.

M. Thank you, Dr. Goodman.

D. You’re welcome.

11:32 AM: Session ends. No notes dictated.

March 9, 2022: 11AM – Videotape Transcription and Office Notes

Secretary. (Intercom) The Lamberts are here.

D. Please have Mr. Lambert and Juliet wait while I speak with Frankie and his mother. Is the boy en femme?

S. Yes.

D. Please have a seat. Has she picked out a name for herself?

M. Yes, Aurora.

D. Like the princess in “Sleeping Beauty.”

M. I hadn’t thought about it, but I suppose so.

D. Good morning, Aurora. I am Dr. Goodman. You look very pretty.

Aurora. (No response)

M. Aurora, the doctor gave you a compliment. What do you say?

A. (Softly) Thank you.

D. Aurora, I need to examine you. That is why your mother is here. Would you stand up and take off your jumper and blouse, please.
A. (Pulls legs up and hugs knees)

M. Aurora, really! You need to stand up, young lady. I will help you undress.

D. Lift up her vest and pull down her panties. Turn around for me Aurora, please. (Doctor visually examines patient) All good. Thank you, Aurora. You can put your pretty clothes back on. Emily, when Aurora is dressed, please take her out to the reception area. Andrea will watch her. Bring in your husband and daughter.

F. (Door Opens) Good morning, Dr. Goodman.

D. Good Morning Frank and good morning Juliet. It’s nice to meet you.

Juliet. Hello.

D. From what I can see, everything is going according to the treatment plan. How is Aurora doing?

M. It’s amazing doctor. She’s a different person. (Small laugh). With Juliet’s help, she’s taken to being a girl completely. A sweet, cooperative little girl. At first, I thought it was going to be like Halloween, but it’s different. She’s happy. We’re happy. Is that how it’s supposed to work?

D. The last time you were here, I explained that there are many possible explanations for Frankie’s behavior. Emily mentioned Halloween, boys dressed up and pretending to be girls for fun. From the way Emily has described Aurora’s transformation, she is not a boy in girl’s clothes. Together with my physical examination today, that confirms my diagnosis and brings us to the second stage of the treatment plan. For it to work, Aurora needs more girl time. Here is a card for a salon that I work with. Emily and Juliet, you’ve helped show aurora how girls dress pretty. Now you need to show her how girls feel pretty; hair, nails and skin care. Andrea has made an appointment for you tomorrow. When she finishes, it is doubtful that anyone will out Aurora when you’re in public.

F. You want Emily to take her out?

D. Well, “out” in that context means recognize as a boy. You can pass the resemblance as her being a cousin. Juliet, I see that you have pierced ears. Emily, you should get Aurora’s ears pierced too. Juliet can help her pick out earrings.

F. I thought this was just temporary.

G. To the contrary, they will be a permanent reminder.

F. (Shakes head).

D. We have five more minutes of the session. Juliet, would you go out to the reception room and keep Aurora company. I want to talk to your parents.

M. Say goodbye to the doctor.

J. Goodbye.

D. Goodbye, Juliet. You’ve been very helpful. (Door closes). I am very pleased with you following the treatment plan and how well things are going. The change in Frankie’s behavior means that the destruction of his alter ego will be very effective when the time comes. Continue convincing him that you accept him as Aurora for the next two weeks, particularly mother daughter activities while Juliet is in school. Frank too. There is another woman I work with who has a dance studio. Frank can take her after work. Aurora in a leotard, tights and dance skirt should make her feel ultra feminine. Andrea will give you the dance studio information and set up an appointment. Call me if there is a problem.

11:34 AM: Session ends. No notes dictated

March 23, 2022: 11AM – Videotape Transcription and Office Notes

Secretary. (Intercom) The Lamberts are here.

D. Please have Mr. Lambert and Juliet wait while I speak with Frankie and his mother. (Door opens and closes) Please have a seat. Good morning, Aurora. Who did your pigtails with the pink ribbons?

A. (No response)

M. Aurora.

A. My sister.

D. And pink nails too. You look very pretty today.

M. Aurora, Dr. Goodman gave you a compliment. What do you say?

A. Thank you.

D. Is everything going in accordance with the treatment plan we discussed.

M. (Pause)

D. Emily?

M. I’m sorry doctor. Aurora is very happy and so are we.

D. That wasn’t my question, but I’ll take it as a yes.

M. Yes.

D. Excellent. Aurora, I need to talk to your parents and sister. Can you go out by yourself and ask your father and sister to come in, please. (A leaves. J and F come in. Door closes). Good Morning. Please sit.

F. Good Morning. (Takes seat)

J. Hi. (Takes seat)

D. You all have done a good job with Aurora. Now we need to start stage three. As soon as you get home, you must tell Frankie that he is not and can never be a girl. Return his room to the way it was and replace his boy’s clothes. Juliet, you especially need to laugh at him for thinking he could be your sister.

J. No.

D. No?

J. I won’t do it. I love Aurora.

D. Juliet, it may be fun to have a make-believe little sister to play with and dress up, but there is no Auora. Frankie is not a girl. He’s your brother.

J. Aurora is a girl.

D. Aurora may look like a girl and act like a girl, but she will never be a girl like you. You and she may be similar now, but that will change. In a few years, you will become more female. Maybe you have had a talk with your mother about those changes or you will. It’s something all women share. Frankie won’t. It is just part of being a woman that he can’t experience. And what happens when Frankie returns to school as Aurora. You know how mean children can be to someone who is different. Adults too. How will you feel when you hear the whispers and laughs; when you don’t get invited to sleep-overs or birthday parties; when girls don’t want to come to your house because their parents don’t approve. This isn’t just about love, Juliet, this is about a lifetime commitment.

J. I won’t make Aurora unhappy. Ever! If my friends are mean to her or me, then they’re not my friends. Or I’ll make new ones.

D. Frank, you came to me because you didn’t want your son to be a fairy.

J. (Turns to father) Daddy!

F. Juliet, no, I, I, I didn’t understand. (Turns to her) I was wrong. I thought it would be a bad thing for my son to be gay, but Aurora is a girl.

D. Frank, gender and sexuality are two different things. This isn’t the time to have that conversation, but not every transgendered person is inherently gay, as you now seem to realize. However, most people, especially men, are not so liberal. How will your co-workers and clients feel about your having a transgendered child? How comfortable will you be introducing Aurora as your daughter? How will you deal with people who are trans- or homophobic? As I said to Juliet, this isn’t about love, it is about commitment.

F. I was wrong Dr. Goodman. I can see now that the harm to my family by forcing Aurora to be something she’s not is far worse than letting her be who she is.

D. Then Emily, you are the last hope to get this right before you all make a choice you will regret. Frank is at work all day. Juliet’s generation is more accepting of gender diversity. You are the one who will have to deal with the phone calls from the school to come get Aurora, because she was bullied. As she gets older, you are the one who will have to explain to her why she can’t play girls’ sports or use the girls’ bathroom. You are the one who will have to console her when she comes home in tears, because nobody invited her to the prom. And you know the saying, it takes a village to raise a child. If it is a transchild, the villagers are more likely to show up with torches and pitchforks than smiles and open arms. Those women who you thought were your friends, they will turn away when they see you with Aurora. Sleepovers, playing with the neighborhood children, transchildren are social outcasts. Is that the life you want for yourself, for Aurora, for your family?

E. You said that sometimes parents must make difficult decisions for their children’s wellbeing. I cannot do anything about our child growing up unhappy as a boy. I can deal with the school, I can advocate for her rights and I can find other parents who are raising a transgendered child. As to those people who don’t approve of Aurora or can’t accept our decision, Juliet, please cover your ears, screw them. And as for you Dr. Goodman, we’re done. Frank, Juliet, let’s go!

11:20 AM: Session ends. No notes dictated

Secretary. (Enters office) The Lamberts left without making another appointment. I take it that your conversion therapy was successful?

D. Yes, very.

THE END