---
'Cause it's a cruel,
Cruel summer,
Leaving me here on my own,
It's a cruel,
Cruel summer,
Now you're gone.
Ace of Bass- Cruel Summer
---
Boys of Summer 26-30
Melanie Ezell
---
26.
Cassie rolled over in her sleeping bag, trying to work the rock she had slept on out of the small of her back without much success. Annoyed, she climbed from her resting place beside the river and cast a glance back towards the cabin, wondering whether or not to brave going back so early in the morning.
Would Emily be awake? What would she say to her if she was? Cassie had tried to talk to the girl the night before, but all she had received in response were muffled sobs from the other girl's bunk and questioning looks from her sister and mom. She had stayed inside afterwards just long enough to grab her sleeping bag and explain to her mom and uncle about the smell before heading back out, to the same spot they had been the night before.
She shivered in the early morning dew, and quickly packed her sleeping bag away. 'If Emily isn't ready to talk to me, well, I still need to eat.' She yawned as she began the short trek back to the cabin.
"Good morning, miss 'too good to sleep in the smelly old cabin with everyone else.'"
"Good morning, Jobe." Cassie wrapped her arms around her cousin and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, causing the boy to blush. Two people could play at the 'annoying cousin' game, after all. "What's for breakfast?"
"I dunno, what'cha fixin' me?"
"Oh, ha ha." She stuck her tongue out at the older boy as she inspected the contents of the cabinets. "Pancakes okay?"
A tired Richard stumbled out from the boys' room. "Sounds fine to me," he grumbled as he collapsed into his favorite chair.
"Me, too." Kayla added in, poking her head around the bathroom door. "And a towel, while you're at it."
"AND BREAKFAST IN BED!" Ruby called from her room.
Cassie growled. "Why don't I just fix EVERYBODY breakfast, then?"
"Sounds good to me. Extra bacon for me, please, really crunchy, I don't like it when it's all rubbery."
David managed to dodge the first fork, but the second one struck him cleanly in the forehead, tines first.
"Ow! Dammit!"
"Don't harrass the cook." Richard recommended without turning. "They have all the sharp stuff at hand, and her mom's been known to slip laxatives in peoples' food when she's messed with."
The look of disgust on David's face was like a work of art as Cassie gave him her best 'Evil Grin'.
"She wouldn't."
"Watch me."
David gulped loudly, but sat down quietly and didn't say another word as Cassie set about preparing breakfast for the cabin, humming happily to herself.
---
27.
"And that's when, heh, that's when, heheh, that's when she-"
"Uncle Richard-"
"That's when she-"
"UNCLE RICHARD-"
"That's when h- she said, 'well, THAT wasn't supposed to happen.'" Richard fell out of his chair laughing as Cassie stared at him in horror. "We had to replace the drain line after that, 'cause we could never-"
"UNCLE RICHARD!!!"
"-get that damned clog out of the plumbing."
Richard continued to laugh while Cassie banged her head into the table, hoping against hope she would disappear before suffering another round of Death by Embarrassing Story. She raised her head when she heard a soft feminine laugh to find Emily chuckling along with the boys, but the moment her eyes rested on her the other girl stopped laughing and blushed, turning away from Cassie.
Cassie grinned. If Emily wasn't going to talk to her because of last night, she would just have to talk to Emily on her own. Excusing herself from the table, Cassie crossed over behind the other girl's seat and placed her hand on her shoulder, ignoring her flinch.
"Emily, can you walk with me? We need to talk."
"Uh, I dunno, I was gonna ask your sister to-"
Cassie squeezed Emily's shoulder slightly. "Please?"
Emily gulped. "O-okay."
Cassie kept one eye on the other girl as she lead them down the river and back towards the rocks from the night before. Emily hesitated only a little at the edge of the rocks before following Cassie out to the large flat stone they had used as a seat the night before.
Cassie sat herself down on the rock and wrapped her arms around her knees before looking up into Emily's eyes. "Okay, we need to talk about what happened last night."
"I'm sorry, I just... um."
Cassie watched closely to make sure Emily wasn't going to run off again. When it seemed like she was going to stay, Cassie stood up and wrapped her in a hug. "It's alright, I was just a little surprised. I didn't know you were a, uh, les-"
"NO!" Emily jerked away and gave Cassie a hard look. "I'm not! I mean, oh, I dunno! This is the first time I've thought I liked a girl!"
"Okay, uh."
The kiss this time was slightly less of a shock, but its suddenness and urgency still threw Cassie for a loop. Caleb made a grab from the recesses of her desires to take control, and it took all her willpower to break the kiss and step back from Emily's embrace. "Emily..."
"Cassie, I-"
"Emily!" The force of her words stopped the other girl in mid- apology, the tear streaks on her face making Cassie ache to kiss her again and make it all better- but she knew that wouldn't work. "Emily. *Phew* Okay. I like you a lot Emily, really. But I don't know if we should be doing this. There's a lot about me you don't know." Emily made a move to speak, but Cassie raised her hand to stop her. If she didn't finish this now, she never would. "See, I'm... I'm..."
"What?"
"Uh..." Seeing the look on Emily's face, half hope and half fear, Cassie couldn't bring herself to reveal the uncomfortable truth of the situation. "There's someone else in my life right now," slipped from her lips before her mind caught up to her mouth and clamped her teeth shut with a sharp snap. She watched Emily's face for a reaction, and was more than surprised when she spotted a small smile tweaking the corners of her mouth.
"Avery?"
Cassie shivered. "Oh, god no!"
Now Emily's voice held a faint note of challenge as she stood with her hands on her hips. "Well, who then?"
Again, her mouth ran away before her brain could catch up. "His name's Caleb."
"Oh, really?"
Cassie cursed the day she ever agreed to wear girl's clothes as she apologized to herself for what she was about to do. "Ah, yeah. Sorry." She scratched the back of her head nervously as she tried to come up with more explanation. The crunch of pebbles underfoot signalled her that Emily was coming nearer to her again, and when she looked up into the taller girl's face, she saw an expression of mixed sadness and embarrassment, with just a touch of... relief?
"Why didn't you tell us about him when we were teasing you earlier."
This one was easy for her to field. "Please don't tell my sister. If Kayla heard about Caleb, I'd never hear the end of it." Emily nodded, and with a slight giggle gave Cassie another kiss, this time on the cheek. With a sigh, she also wrapped her in a hug. "Are we okay?"
Emily sighed into her shoulder. "I dunno. I feel so silly, though. I thought you were, well, you know, and you have been so nice to me, and I dunno, I just." Emily stiffened against her, and Cassie could feel her growing nervous again. In answer, she tightened her own grip on the taller girl. "I DO like you, and I can't promise I won't do something stupid, but I'll try not to bring any of this up again. It's gonna be hard, though. Sigh. ARE we okay? I won't kiss you again..."
"Z'okay. It isn't the first time someone's thought I was gay," Cassie whispered, trying to keep the depression in her response to a minimum. 'Sheesh, sometimes you just can't win.'
---
28.
Cassie was growing tired of fielding questions left and right from everyone in the cabin about what she had been up to with Emily, and it was with great relief that she went out hiking on her own, looking for more mushrooms for her uncle, or maybe some polk salad for the hell of it. Or a nice, green handful of poison ivy to give to David if he kept up the jerk attitude. The thought of him with his mouth and eyes swollen shut made her smile until she realized how mean it would be, though she couldn't contain a light chuckle at what ELSE would get all red and itchy if he touched IT after she gave him the ivy.
She turned the volume in her headphones up a bit more as she hopped across a series of rocks spanning the river to reach the other side, admiring the swirling patterns of the rushing water around the many large and small protrusions that made up the crossing. She remembered when she was smaller her uncle having to carry her across on his shoulders, and how he almost always would fall in and get soaked, but somehow manage to keep Caleb- her, completely dry. Not that it mattered since their destination was always the little hot spring about a quarter of a mile away for a warm relaxing soak, but it was the thought that counted.
This time, though, her goal was much closer. She had spotted the small clearing covered in wildflowers on the far bank on their way down in the canoes, but had forgot about it until today. The last thing she wanted for the moment was to be disturbed, and a nice nap among the wildflowers sounded like just the thing to give her a chance to think over things in private. Or not. She still wasn't sure whether she wanted to think about anything at all yet, or let it sit for a while. 'Not like it makes much difference, I still did the right thing- I think.'
It didn't take her long to find a clear area away from the water to lay the blanket she had brought down. The sky was clear after the rain of the last few days, with the humidity making anything much more active than a short walk seem like torture. Cassie pulled out her book and laid down on her blanket to relax, trying to lose herself in the adventures of Harry Dresden.
She wasn't sure how long she had been asleep, but she was jarred from her dreams by a gentle hand shaking her shoulder.
"Come on, Cassie, your mom sent me to find you. It's lunch time. I brought sandwiches. Uh..."
Cassie groggily opened her eyes to see Eric leaning over her and holding a picnic basket. "Hi, Eric."
"Uh, hi." The boy grinned sheepishly before standing back up, giving Cassie enough room to sit up and notice how the shadows had changed.
"How long have I been out here?"
"I dunno, maybe two or three hours? Emily told us you needed some space, so nobody bothered you for a while."
"Oh. Thanks." Cassie stretched, trying to get rid of the kink that had developed in her shoulder where she had slept on it wrong. "So what'ja bring?" She asked, clearing a spot on her blanket for Eric to sit down.
---
29.
Cassie made sure to give Eric plenty of time to get back to the house before setting out herself, and took her time crossing the river again and making her way towards the cabin. She had a lot of thinking still to do, and felt sure that she wouldn’t be able to do it if she was near everyone else. It only took her a few minutes to get back to the rocks where she had met with Emily just that morning, only to find that she was not going to be as alone as she had expected.
“Can we talk for a bit, hon?”
“Sure, mom.”
Cassie wasn’t sure whether to be happy or upset to find her mom waiting for her return. She felt for sure she needed to figure this out alone, but she also knew that her mom would stay there until she found out what was going on. ‘But how much should I tell her? This isn’t just about me, it concerns Emily too.’
Ruby gave Cassie a tight hug as she settled down next to her. “So, how’s your vacation going so far?”
Cassie shrugged, then smiled. “Okay. Good, I think. You know how much I love it out here.”
“Uh huh, you always have. I really chewed your uncle out the other day, you know. If I had known we were gonna have guests up here…”
“I know, Mom. I’m okay.”
Ruby laughed. “I noticed. You don’t need to wind your cousin up so much, though. I heard about all the little flirty things you’ve been doing just to mess with him, and I was kind of surprised when Kayla told me about just how comfortable you seem like this. I didn't think ya had it in you.”
Cassie laughed. “Mom, I’m just trying to act as much like a girl as possible, and trust me, it’s taking a lot more thought and effort than I expected.”
“Well, there are such things as tomboys, you know. Most girls aren’t as girly as you seem to think.”
“*sigh* Maybe not, Mom, but Kayla can be, and from what I’ve seen, Emily definitely is. All trying to act butch would get me this summer is left out by both groups, ya know?”
Ruby gave Cassie a gentle squeeze. “If you think so. Tell me, though- do you really want to spend the entire summer trying to act, or do you want to spend it relaxing and having fun? If you keep trying to force yourself to act like you think you should, you'll just make yourself miserable.”
“Yeah, Mom, I know.”
"Honestly, I'll admit I wanted you to be a bit embarrassed about dressing like a girl this summer. I figured we'd come up here, your cousin would rib you a bit, you'd both get over it, and that would be that. You'd have some interesting summer stories to tell if you ever chose to, but otherwise this was gonna be just family." Cassie watched as her mom deflated, almost like a balloon. 'She must have been more worried about this than I thought.' "Can you forgive me?"
Cassie didn't even have to think about her answer. "Of course, Mom. Come here." The two hugged, and Cassie was glad the conversation was finally over.
“So, tell me about what happened between you and Emily last night.”
“What?”
---
30.
After another gruelling half hour of trying in vain to sidestep her mother's questions, Cassie finally managed to break away. She had just enough time for some light sketching before dinner, if she could find the time alone, but with family and guests popping up around every turn the woods seemed just a bit too crowded. She had settled on her bunk as a good escape from the crowds, and was just starting on outlining a quick sketch of everyone swimming the day before.
“So how was your talk with Mom?”
“It was… wait, was that your idea?” Cassie was less than happy with another interruption- her day had seemed to be nothing more than one after another- but was hoping that perhaps picking a fight with Kayla would help her to relieve some of the tension.
Kayla’s laughter was enough answer for Cassie. She was starting to get angry- what right did Kayla have to go off and do something like that?- when Kayla smiled at her. “It wasn’t so much my idea as something Mom wanted to do but didn’t have the courage to.” Kayla’s face grew more serious as she continued to look at Cassie. “She really was upset about getting you into this position, and I think after the way Emily came back last night she was worried she had found out. You’ve been trying really hard to fit in with us, and I let her know that, but you know what Mom’s like.” Cassie did. Overprotective in the extreme most of the time, for one thing. It had amazed her that her mom would even consider the clothing thing in the first place, but sometimes her mom’s decisions were confusing.
A loud voice from the kitchen, probably Jobe, Cassie thought, called out to them. “Hey, dinner’s ready you two. You gonna eat or what?”
"Just a minute! God, I swear that David kid's a bad influence on him," Kayla hissed from her bunk. "He wasn't this annoying last summer."
"He's always been like this, I'm just usually tormenting you so much you don't notice."
"That's for sure!" Kayla grinned. "You know, I think so far this has been one of my favorite summers out here."
That caught Cassie's attention, and she turned from her sketch padto stare at her sister.
"Seriously! You've been a lot cooler than usual, and it's been fun."
That hurt. "You're just saying that because I'm stuck like this."
Kayla shook her head vigorously. "Not at all! It's been fun, yeah, but mostly it's just that you haven't been a little jerk to me all the time."
"What! I am not a jerk!"
"Yes, you are!" Kayla insisted. "You're not that bad at home, most of the time, but you're as bad as that David guy most of the time when we're out here." Cassie gave her a suspicious look. "Okay, maybe not THAT bad, but some of the pranks you used to play on me were just mean."
Cassie was about to throw her pen or her sketch pad at her sister, anything to make her stop complaining, but took a second to cool down and think. Had she really been that bad? "So this summer's better for you because I'm acting like a girl?"
Kayla started laughing loudly again. "You're kidding, right? That's been entertaining, no doubt. It's funny seeing you being yourself one moment and the next trying to act like what you think a girl would do. You need to ease it up a bit. No, I could do without the girl thing, it's mostly just been nice you actually doing things with me."
"Really?"
"Really!" Kayla agreed.
Cassie smirked. "But I thought older sisters were supposed to hate having to do things with their little brothers... and sisters, too."
Kayla shrugged, and propped herself up on her elbows, laying across her bunk. "Well, Mom and Uncle Richard are pretty close, and I always just thought it'd be fun if we could get along like they did. Do. I mean, like, we usually go climbing in the summer together and stuff, but it's usually just 'cause we have to be safe or everyone else is going too. Now, we can go together just to hang out and have fun TOGETHER, you know?"
'I think I do.' Cassie nodded, and, because it felt like the right thing to do, hopped down from her bunk and landed in Kayla's. "Yup."
"DINNER NOW OR I'M EATING YOURS!!!"
"COMING JOBE!" The two yelled through the door together, and Kayla gave Cassie a quick squeeze before they both got out of the bunk and headed out to dinner.
---
NOTES:
Alright, it's been a while since I posted. Here's a little head's up. I know this chapter was a bit dialoguey (is that a real word? Evs.) I had to get it out of the way, and that's what took so long to write it. I'll no doubt be going back and re-editing it at some time in the very near future, but since I FINALLY got it finished last night I figured ya'll might want to see what's been taking so long. It still doesn't feel quite right to me- it's a bit flat, to be honest. But I couldn't move past here without getting it out of the way. There'll be more drama between the girls in later chapters- trust me on that :P I picked a kind of weird way to write this story, with five mini-chapters making up each day, for what I plan on being a three week vacation, for a total of 100 mini-chapters. It's gonna take a LOT longer to write than I ever thought, though hopefully not as long as I'm spending on Echoes.
Melanie E.
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Comments
Well, I'm Glad to See New Chapters
It wasn't at all flat for me. The fallout from the kiss had to be dealt with, and it was good to touch base with mom and sis regarding how things were going (to clear the air about how everyone felt). It's all good for me so far. Please keep the postings coming.
What, not the version Bananarama from The Karate Kid?
Not bad bunch of chapters but Cassie,
I don’t care what your'e mom said, the punishment does not fit the crime! TELL Emily who you really are and why you are dressed as a girl. The truth will set you both free. As it is Emily is being hurt by mom’s twisted logic.
I still worry all the things done to make him pass as a girl may do irreparable harm to his reproductive organs, let alone his sense of identify. The testis were never meant to be tucked and glued up in that contraption for months at a times, um he is wearing a false vagina and breast, right? God knows what chemicals might leach out of them and into his skin. It could cause sterility, cancer or liver failure down the road
Does mom have him on low dose hormones to mellow him and reduce the chance of morning and other errections causing him pain? Isn’t he taking a morning *vitamin * or is my memory mixing up stories here? Her twisted logic, loving protective mom but with a wierd sense of justice and what is right, she’d do it. He could be damaged physically, reproductively and mentally by the end of summer.
Or am I just channeling Jezzi? – grins and snickers in homage to Mz Jezzi –
His sister has it right. The intent, and it has largely worked sofar is to get Cassie to become closer to her older sister, to bond like her uncle and mom have. I agree with the goal but I think mom has used a 16 pound sledgehammer where a flyswatter would have been equally effective.
Mom is remorseful that the punishment is far more severe than intended and risky because of the unexpected guests. What will she say if it turns out her son ie permently harmed by this experience, “Oops?â€
Sorry about all the bitching, but I do care for these people and want Cassie to learn from this and not end of *Cassiestrated* You may all moan in pain now.
Very good story, RAS, lots of possibilities.
And you are not taking that long, Echos posted not that many months ago and CR**! I haven’t posted anything since last fall!
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Glad people care!
I'm glad people care enough to talk about it! Though, because it seems to bother a lot of people, I'm gonna go ahead and clear a few things up.
1. The punishment isn't really gonna last that long. It was for a total of three weeks- the camping trip only. Mom wanted to give Caleb/Cassie a bit of a red face, but that's it- no humiliation, no forcing him out in the public, none of that. Yeah, she went overboard with everything, but she knows it, and does feel bad about the position she has put Cassie into.
2. No, John, no vitamins :) This isn't meant to be a permanent 'fix' or anything like that- the tag's 'crossdressing', not 'transgender', though perhaps that's giving away too much.
3. Despite appearances, nobody is actually stopping Cassie from letting the guests know what's going on. Everyone kind of assumed they wouldn't let them know, and ran with it. She could tell Emily she is a he at any time, if she gets brave enough. Only time will tell!
4. I'm trying to write this from a limited third person, only giving readers access to things Cassie feels and knows. It's entirely possible that there are things going on that the story doesn't cover simply because Cassie has no idea. Or not. Not telling yet :p
Melanie E.
How can we spout our grand comnspiracy theories if --giggles---
you're being entirely reasonable and decent to your characters?
Have you no shame? Can't you bash your hero/herine while she's down? Aaaaaak!
John in Wauwatosa
P.S. My god, this is to be an entirely charming and sweet story, HORRORS!
P.P.S. You can tell I'm being silly, right? Great stuff and we have Echos for the mystical/magical, center of a great prophacy/reincarnation romantic TG from boy to girl thing to fall back on.
John in Wauwatosa
Decent, Charming, Sweet?
NOT! Mom is sick, sick, sick! If she had ANY morals or conscience she would have turned around the day they arrived and taken "Cassie" back home and let him become himself. That she didn't is the indicator of a disturbed mind, unfit to be a parent. How often have we discussed the end not justifying the means on here? Her goal may have been admirable, to promote the same sort of closeness between her son and daughter that she has with her own brother. But her son and daughter are different INDIVIDUALS then she and her brother. Did it ever occur to her that you can not force that sort of bond between people? It's there, or it isn't. If it could be compelled from the outside it wouldn't be that special, would it?
Yuri!
Yuri!
What's this rant?
Good Lord folks, let's all remember this is fiction. None of these people really exist. Caleb/Cassie won't be harmed by this either physically or mentally, because our kind and benevolent author (authoress?) isn't going write a 20 year long novel. We are just hearing about a three week vacation in which a boy has to pretend to be a girl.
There's supposed to be some angst involved. That's what makes the story interesting. There are supposed to be problems to overcome.
Really, if Mom had turned around and went home, what kind of story would that have made?
The only thing wrong with this story is it isn't complete.
HINT, HINT.
Nothing wrong with dialog. Narrative can be pretty dry.
What ever you do, Melanie, keep the chapters coming.
... Please
Hugs
Patricia
([email protected])
http://members.tripod.com/~Patricia_Marie/index.html
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper ubi femininus sub ubi
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin ein femininer Mann
Oh, yeah, another thing
No humiliation? Yeah, it wouldn't be at all humiliating to Caleb to tell Emily and the others who 'Cassie' really is. Wouldn't have any effect on his sense of manhood to reveal to them that he can be a girl so convincingly. Nope, no reason for the (allegedly) mature, responsible adults to step in here and put a stop to this before anybody got hurt, physically or mentally.
The best thing for Caleb would be to hit the door running when he turns 18 and never have anything to do with his "loving" family again.
Yuri!
Yuri!
Easy, easy...
First, on the turning around rather than staying to camp thing- the idea honestly never occurred to me. Second, on the telling them what's going on thing- the entire family- short of Richard- was a bit shell shocked when they first found out about all the circumstances. Caleb/Cassie never thought about not staying either, though I'm sure if they had known there would be other people there Ruby would have never gone.
Then again, this all kind of depends on your definition of humiliation. Nobody is trying to make Caleb/Cassie out to be a pervert, nobody is making a big deal of what's going on, and nobody is trying to reveal the secret. If you want, I can have Kayla start making vaguely suggestive comments that Cassie isn't who she says she is at every turn, make her have to be a slave to her family to keep them from revealing the truth, and then have them stick her in terribly frilly clothes just to make it even worse, forcing her to take mind and body altering drugs to make her the 'perfect little Cassie'. And that couldn't happen, because they wouldn't do that and Caleb would never go for it. Caleb agreed, under no form of duress, to doing this. He knew loosely what his mom was doing, and knew why, and said 'sure, why the hell not.' He's not that submissive, and he's got a lot more self confidence than to be humiliated by something he knows he isn't responsible for.
Sorry for going off, but I hate humiliation stories and would never intentionally write one that I thought would evolve into that. The characters make a story one type or another as much as the events, though, and in my opinion none of Caleb/Cassie's family members are those kinds of people, and neither is s/he.
Melanie E.
Long Wait for Summer
I'm glad I have a good memory. I remembered reading this story so I read the current chapters. Thanks! :)
It doesn't matter that there's a lot of dialogue because it all sounded honest and real. I like Cassie's reason to escape from Emily. That was interesting.
So please keep up the good work and try not to take so long to post the next set of chapters.
- Terry
Sad
Hi,
I've been away from this site for a while and was catching up on the stories that were still open when I left.
Sadly, this great story only had a few new chapters available. I hope the author didn't abandon it, because it has lots of potential.
Hugs,
Kimby
Hugs,
Kimby
NOPE!
It's not abandoned, though it is currently dead in the water, as it were. I received a number of complaints that the story was too 'forced femme' for many readers, and after rereading things again I could see what people meant even if I didn't agree. Since it wasn't a point that would drastically change the story, I decided to rewrite around it so more people could enjoy the story -- however, every editor I've had for the tale has fallen through, and until I get the initial rewrite finished and "approved" I'm not gonna finish the rest of the story, since I don't wanna have to rewrite an additional seventy or so chapters.
Melanie E.
What the heck?
Too forced fem? That's so ridiculous... this story is very tame and therefore very enjoyable, have these complainers read 98% of the stuff on fictionmania? If it were any less "force-fem" it would be totally boring! All it would comprise of is some kid who really likes to dress like a girl and asks politely to start cross-dressing and his mom is totally cool with it and la-di-da everything is dandy and happy. Booooooorring... where's the strife? Where's the conflict? Where are the awkward moments? How's does this character grow?
I've read those "non-forced-femme" stories. There are quite a few on the web and they just aren't entertaining. Even the stories where the kid ends up choosing to continue dressing as a girl, the only good ones (that I've read and can recall right now) *started*, at the very least, with a forced-femme scenario. E.G. Kaleigh Way's Marcie Donner series is not forced femme *but* it got it's kick-start with a boy being forced in to a gym skirt on his first day at school. *She* later chose to continue dressing as a girl. It's a non-forced-femme story with a forced-femme beginning. That's how I picture this story too. It started forced-femme but it doesn't seem to continue that way.
This is going to be very contradictory advice but DON'T listen to readers, ever! If someone doesn't like a story and they tell you so go "okay, they didn't like it." If *you* liked it say to yourself "I like where this is going and if my readers don't that's too bad. *I'm* spending my time writing this!" If what they say seems valid to you, you should than *consider* changing *how* you are writing.
Personally, I think you are a fantastic writer. Your characters are believable, your world is believable, and your scenarios are believable. I enjoy the stories you write and when I see something posted under your name I immediately read it. I don't bother reading the tags or the synopsis because I *know* I'll like it. So *please* don't change a thing to accommodate a minority. The only reason you might think there's a problem with the way things are being done is because writer's tend to get more negative feed-back than positive. If someone likes a story they tend not to say anything whereas people who dislike stories go "okay, now I *have* to say something this went somewhere I do NOT like!".
Keep up the great work and do what you want. If you feel you *have* to change things I will, of course, continue to read on. Good-luck!
****CORRECTION****
Forced-femme stories seem to work the best on teen and preteen. The good non-forced-femme work the best for adults I.E. Changes is a fantastic non-force-femme story.
Thank you
For your support! And I do have to say, I agree with you whole heartedly when it's something that's necessary for the story to continue or work well. I didn't think it really was for this story, and many of the complaints were from people who have told me they enjoyed my other work and were happy to read them, but that certain parts of this story early on threw them off.
I agree, people shouldn't really complain if they haven't read all there is to read, and only a couple of the major complaints I got were from people that had read the entire thing -- several of them never made it past the initial meeting between Cassie and her cousin because of how he took the situation, and they thought that his first reaction was indicative of a forced and humiliation attribute that would stick throughout the entire story. I was sorry to see this, and while I didn't feel any shame for what I had written, nor did I take too well to the fact that people saw it as a good reason to berate me thoroughly in PMs, I did take the opportunity to reread what I had written and consider it from other viewpoints.
After rereading it, I could see where the people had been coming from, so I started thinking about how changing the story would, well, change the story. I had already been debating trying to get an editor to work on it since there have been a number of typos/research errors/ name mixups that I just didn't catch, so I figured while I was at it I would have them see what they thought about the sections that had been seen as "forced" and see what they recommend to do about it.
The problem there has been that potential editors have either flaked out for no reason, or been turned off editing the story for other reasons. One person I asked to edit it stopped reading for the same reasons that I needed it edited -- she wouldn't read past the parts she saw as "forced femme", and when I asked her for suggestions on how to fix them she couldn't give me any satisfactory recommendations that wouldn't require a complete rewrite of every last part of the story to give the main character a completely different personality.
So, maybe I'll see if the one person I know of who would hold on to doing editing will work on it for me, I just hate having to ask HER because I know she's got so many other responsibilities and I don't like bothering her. But, I do constantly get requests to finish this so... I guess I'll see what she says.
Melanie E.
Don't listen to readers!
I agree. I write a little, and I won't post anything until it's complete. That way, I don't have to second guess myself as to where the story is going. Most often I start a story with the hook and have an end in mine, just so I know where the story is going and I let it meander where it want's to go, only nudging it toward the eventual end that's been predetermined.
Don't write for the readers, there will always be those who don't like what you write. Write because there's a story in you that needs to get out. The very fact that these complainers have waited until now to voice these complaints shows that the story is good enough to keep them reading even though they have reservations about the action line.
This is good stuff, don't change a thing.
Hugs
Patricia
([email protected])
http://members.tripod.com/~Patricia_Marie/index.html
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper ubi femininus sub ubi
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin ein femininer Mann
Just Read 1 through 30
I'm sorry you feel the need to rewrite this (I think that's what you're telling us) because I want to finish reading the rest of the story.
I remember a few spots that gave a quirky feeling but it was only because of my past. I got through those spots and they didn't detract from the story at all. I don't think you have to rewrite this at all (maybe have another proof reader look at it but why?) Just move forward and except the fact that not everybody likes ice cream.:P ;)
Carson
PS If you want my edits I'll gladly forward them but my gut feeling is to move forward. :)
Thank you for the offer :P
I appreciate that you think the story's good enough to continue from where it is, but I've had two other editors look at it already, and both agreed on a few things in the story that really needed fixed, and while I don't necessarily agree with their opinions on those spots they are issues that I have heard from other readers as well.
In this case, I wanted readers to be able to enjoy the story rather than write it for the therapeutic value. Because of that, I'm doing the editing to make sure that as many people can enjoy it as possible.
But, thanks for the vote of confidence!
Melanie E.
I think this story is great
I think this story is great as it is. I see how some people might find it as forced fem, but it really is very tame, and I think Caleb/Cassie is growing to find out more about himself/herself. I would love to see this story continue.
Hugs,
Andrea.
Enjoyment
I was really enjoying this tale....and then it stopped. It been 4 years since anything was posted on this story. I really do hope you find some time to post another chapter or two please? Even if it's just to tie up the ends and finish
Joanna
is there any hope to see further chapters?
Your note hinted that you had something of new chapters written or outlined...
It is so sad when such a nice story stops in the middle... Please?
Wonderful story
I just ran across this, and I thought it was perfect -- except that it stops in the middle.
I agree with all the people who commented to say, "ignore the nay-sayers."
"Too forced femme"??? Those people need to get out more. They don't know what "forced femme" is! This story is missing most of the essential elements of the "forced femme" trope: degradation, humiliation, not to mention treating femininity as inherently degrading. To be honest, that sort of criticism strikes me as just the sort of cisnormative, gender-policing XXX that we get drenched with every day.
What I love about this story is that Caleb gets to see what it's like to play a different role and see the world from the other side of the aisle. So far, the author has been remarkably kind and understanding towards most of the characters. If anyone is getting mistreated, it's David and maybe Jobe, for their macho-ness. But, knowing Melanie, I suspect they'll have their time, too.
P.S.: Who is "Michael" (who appears only right when the arrive at the cabin)? Is he a cameo? Or an editing error?
I don't even remember any more, to be honest.
One day I'll get around to re-writing this, and finishing it in the process. That day is not today though :)
Melanie E.
I can relate...
...to how it feels when people talk about issues with your story. I ran into some kinda harsh remarks (which were later removed by someone) on the first story I ever posted here. I did eventually add more to that story, but there's a few others I kinda dropped, because I felt discouraged by some of the reactions a couple of readers had.
If you decide not to post any more of this story, I totally understand. But, if you do ever decide to add more chapters, I'd be happy to read them! I'm sure there's plenty of others who'd like to read them too. But, whatever you decide, I'd just like to offer my heartfelt thanks for sharing this wonderful story. :)
So, is today the day?
I fell into the story this week, and was disappointed to find your Muse had bailed on you, and it. An additional crazy long time has elapsed, and I figure I'm just going to have to learn to be disappointed, but I'll confess I don't like it.
You're not the first, of course. Ellen Hayes has the honor of being the first to leave a story hanging, but if I understand the circumstances, it might not have been under her control. Sad...
Anyway, here's a tiny bit of encouragement to have another look at it some rainy day, and see if it tickles you yet again!
Thanks for all of the other stories you've shared,
Steve
Liking this
I like this story. Is it still being developed?
New chapters please
I have found Caleb/Cassie a very engaging character and the relationship with Kayla a very welcome part of the story l like the interaction and the way they are warming up to each other the concern his family is showing him kinda rules out the forced femme thing. The urge to try and reform David (I think that was the hint i got) by flirting with him had me wondering I think the other two could handle a reveal especially if his family was in on the conversation but this is just my opinion, my thoughts after reading this far. I have to say I hope you can find your Muse for this story and give us a few ( or a few dozen) more chapters.
.