https://unsplash.com/photos/a-group-of-people-on-horses-herding-cattle-i...

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Thanks to Malady for going through this after I spent a sleepless night writing this one.

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I’m really not sure why I did it, but I was young at the time.

I rode into town after being paid. We all did. Anyone who spent so much time on the trail had a tendency to want some time in the company of the opposite sex.

And, while you were waiting for said company, you might as well loosen up a bit. Most of the brothels were upstairs of a saloon, so it was only natural to spend some time in both areas.

I was generally known as Cookie, which was not a problem as I did the cooking for our boys.

I’m a little older than most of them, except the trail boss who’s known only as Stumpy. It’s kinda strange, him being the boss, as somewhere in the past he’d lost his right leg. The legend is he had a run-in with a rattlesnake at some point. Nobody seems to know the true story but him and one other person, and Stumpy isn’t telling anyone who that is.

Stupid me, I’m not great at telling stories. I kinda get things out of order in the way I tell them.

Let’s go back to that time back when Austin was Boss.

As I said before, I went into town, and I was in the saloon, waiting my turn. I was getting pretty drunk, and I vaguely remember a gal coming up to me and asking if I was wanting some company.

I wasn’t at the bar at the moment. Actually, I was losing a whole bunch of my wages in a poker game. I pointed at myself, and she gave me a nod.

Now, you gotta understand. I didn’t look like I do now, at the time. I was a really skinny guy. Short. Never did get tall, but I can cook! So I was kinda surprised when the gal asked me if I was looking for company. I figured I was gonna have to wait for the end of the run. It’s how it usually happened.

We went up to the third floor, and that’s about all I remember. I’m not sure what happened after I took my boots off.

What I do remember next is waking up in the bed, completely disrobed. The gal wasn’t there, but I saw her dress hanging from the hook she’d put it on the night before. It was a blue gingham dress, which with my clearer mind, seemed kinda strange for a saloon girl to wear. Generally they wore more showy clothes.

Clearer mind, I say. I was thinking a bit more clearly, but I had a massive headache. It was coming from the back of my head. I noticed it was daylight outside, primarily because looking anywhere near the window made my headache worse. And I was looking all over. I wasn’t sure where my clothes had gotten to.

There was a knock on the door, and that just made my head throb.

“Up an at ‘m,” came a call from the hallway. “I need this here room! Ya only paid for one night!”

I winced at the barkeep’s voice. It made things even worse. “I can’t find my clothes,” I said weakly.

“Come on!” the man yelled back. “Find ‘em and get outta here! Blue checks!”

What? My head was hurting bad now, but I wanted the yelling to stop. I looked around desperately. I didn’t see my clothes, but I saw the dress. Blue checks.

Wait a minute, I thought fuzzily. Why would he think I’d wear that dress? It wasn’t mine.

I heard the man’s footsteps thump down the hall. I couldn’t help it. Each step made my head thump too. I was sitting on the bed, a place where I’d had to plant my backside at the man’s booming voice.

I lay down for a few minutes hoping the pain would diminish. It didn’t, but I started to acclimate to it. I finally sat up and looked around again. There wasn’t much in the room. Just a chair and table, a few nails in the wall, and the bed that was my current perch.

Had the woman had more clothes in the room? I wasn’t sure. Hanging from a nail in the wall was a bag. I wondered if my clothes were in there. It was obviously hers, but maybe they’d gotten in there for some reason.

I was a bit unstable on my feet, but I made it to the wall, stumbling over something. I looked down and there were her boots. Buttons, and a bit of a raised heel.

Where was she? I put my hand on the back of my head and felt a goose egg. What the heck?

It dawned on me that my poke was in my clothes. Have we been robbed? That would explain the obvious place where I’d been hit. What was I hit with? I suddenly looked at the bed with dread. What if she was under it? I made my way over to it, and carefully knelt down. My head throbbed as I lowered it to peer under it. Whew! No girl.

But where… I suddenly remembered taking off my gunbelt and hanging it over the chair back. It wasn’t there now. She’d been in the chair, taking off her boots. Did she…?

I hated to think that she might have hit me, but it seemed to make sense. But why take my clothes? I had come to the conclusion that if she’d hit me, she’d probably taken my clothes. Unless she’d had someone else with her.

I finally decided I’d have to put on the dress. I opened the bag and sure enough. My clothes weren’t there. A few women’s things, though. A brush, and some cash. I was confused. I didn’t think it was mine, but why leave it? She took my poke where all my money was. I saw a pad of paper and a small, rectangular box as well. And some delicates. My dad was a doctor, and he’d had one of these boxes that he took with him on house calls. It was even the same maroon color. A fountain pen.

I reached up and pulled the dress off the hook. Well, nail. The girl was about my size. Is there some reason she wanted my clothes. If so, she got some that would fit her.

I pulled the dress over myself and and looked in the bag again. There were some stockings, and I pulled them on, then began the tedious process of buttoning the boots.

I wasn’t disturbed about putting on the dress. I was more concerned about the ribbing I’d get at the camp.

There was a small mirror hanging from the nail where the dress had been. I looked at my face in it. My hair was pretty long, and I’d never been able to grow a beard. I had a boyish face, but now I thought it would work with the dress. I sighed and walked over to the bed where I pulled the brush out of the bag. I walked back to the mirror and started pulling the brush through my hair.

Before long, I thought I’d pass pretty well, but was still a bit nervous about seeing the rest of the guys. I thought of just disappearing, but I couldn’t leave them without a camp cook.

There was a pounding at the door and another yell.

“Okay!” I hollered and grabbed the bag. I figured I’d take the cash with me, but I’d need a way to carry it.

I opened the door and the barkeep grinned. “You’re way past your time. I can think of a few ways you can pay.” He eyed me up and down, leering all the while.

“Not with you,” I told him.

“I didn’t ask,” the barkeep said, grabbing my wrist.

“The lady said no,” came a familiar voice. I wasn’t as tall as the barkeep, but I knew the voice. It was Austin, the trail boss.

“Mine your own…” the barkeep started to say. He never finished it though. His head snapped around, his jaw swinging open limply, and blood spurting out of his mouth. I jumped back, but I saw that some blood had gotten onto my dress. My dress? Since when?

Austin reached out and grabbed my arm to keep me from falling. He shook his hand a few times. Obviously he’d hit the guy’s jaw, breaking it. His hand must’ve hurt.

“Sorry about that, Ma’am,” he said, then did a double take. He dropped the barkeeps now limp form on the ground and said, “I’ve been looking for you, Cookie. Come on. The guys are getting antsy. They’re hungry.”

He led me down the stairs and into the street. A couple of our men were crossing the street, and when they saw us, they hurried up to us. “I see ya found her,” Stan said to Austin. “Bout time you wear a dress, Cookie. Are you leaving us though?”

I was flummoxed for a moment, but managed to answer, “Of course not. Why do you ask?”

“Well,” Stan said. “Seems a funny time to wear a dress when we’re going back to camp.”

“Lay off, Stan,” Austin said. “That barkeep was trying to get her to ‘pay for her room’ again.”

“Why that lowdown…”

“Easy, Stan. I already took care of him.”

Stan’s hand had strayed to his gun-belt. “Is he still breathing?”

“I think so,” Austin replied.

“Yes,” I said without thinking. I’d helped my dad on his rounds when I got older, and I had automatically noticed the barkeeps respiration when Austin laid him out.

“Want me to finish him?” Stan asked.

Brad, the other man, looked at me expectantly. So did Austin. What the…?

“N’no,” I said confused.

Austin must have taken my stutter as something else.

“Are you sure, Cookie?” he asked me.

I just nodded.

“Well,” Stan said as we headed for our horses. “He’d better leave you alone when we come back through.” He didn’t say the obvious. The barkeep’s days would be limited if he messsed with me again.

I was confused, but it felt good to hear the guys be so protective about me.

We got to the horses, and I was a bit unsure how I was going to ride mine in a dress. Austin must have thought the same thing. “Hang on,” he said. He crossed the street and went into a store that seemed to have about everything imaginable, even some clothes.

I started to protest, but Stan shook his head. “A girl needs her modesty, Cookie. You can’t ride in that getup, pretty as you are.”

I’m not sure how much Austin paid, but the clothes he got were much like what I’d had before. I still wasn’t doing too well in my balance, but Austin guided me to the side of the saloon building. I thought about walking across the uneven road, and agreed with his logic.

He handed me the bundle of clothes and turned around. “Go ahead and change,” he told me as the other guys also turned, putting their bodies between me and any prying eyes from the street.

Just as well. I really didn’t want to re-enter that seedy saloon.

Once I was clad in breeches and a shirt like I’d had before, Stan tied my horse’s lead to his saddle and Austin reached down after mounting his horse. Obviously, I wasn’t going to be left to sway on a horse without someone to steady me.

We made record time the three miles back to camp. The guys didn’t want to hang around town very long, and Austin had pushed his steed into a gallop, followed by the other men.

Arriving at the camp, Austin told the boys, “Saddle up. We’re getting out of here.”

“But, Boss,” Lefty whined, “I need some grub!”

“That seedy barkeep took a liking to Cookie, and wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Austin said by way of explanation.

“What!?” Lefty exploded. “Our little Cookie? Why that no-good… His girls weren’t worth that!”

“The weren’t worth much of anything,” Pete said, his face going red.

Do all these guys think I’m a girl? I wondered.

Austin dismounted, then reached up to help me down. I started to slip, and he caught me, and the way his hands ended up made me think, Well, Austin doesn’t.

I made sure my kitchen was packed carefully, then was assisted into the chuck-wagon by Austin. He tied his horse to the back of the wagon after hitching mine up next to his sister, so he could pull.

Then, Austin doled out some jerky that he must have gotten at the store when he picked up my clothes, and the men made sure their canteens were full. Then we got on our way, him driving my chuck-wagon.

“Do the men all think I’m a girl?” I asked.

“Why wouldn’t they?” he said in answer.

“I’m not, as you certainly know.”

“I know that, but are you sure you’re not a girl?”

“I’m a bit dizzy, but I don’t think that would make sense if I wasn’t.”

“I took you on as our cook two years ago, Cookie. Also, you’re pretty good as a camp doc. But when I hired you, your mom made me swear to take care of you. Said you were a bit on the girly side.”

My face went hot, so I’m sure I turned red.

“She wasn’t trying to be mean, Cookie. Quite the opposite.”

“But why do the men think…?”

“I tried to tell ‘em. They thought I was trying to tell them so they’d leave you alone. Stan promised he’d make sure everyone kept their mitts off, and that was that.”

“So my wearing that dress just confirmed it to them,” I said, realizing what had happened.

“Pretty much.” He glanced at me. “How’s your head?”

“Sore,” I said.

“Need a shoulder to lean it on?”

I laughed. “What would Stan say?”

“He thinks we’re married.”

“What!?” I cried.

Stan wasn’t too far from us, and he glanced our way. I could see his head cock in concern, but he didn’t seem upset with Austin.

“Well, I’ve always rented that room at your folks' place. None of the guys ever seem to realize we don’t share one, and I never figured it was necessary to enlighten them.”

I stared at him for a few moments, then the aching in my head got the better of me and I leaned it on his shoulder. He’s good husband material, I thought. Now where did that thought come from?

We finally stopped for the evening, and I felt good enough to do some cooking. Austin and Brad did the actual work, however. I guess everyone thought my headache came from the barkeeps attentions, because nobody asked why or how.

Not until the evening, anyway. Normally, Austin would sleep on the ground with the other men, but that night, he climbed into the wagon, asking if I minded him sleeping inside.

I almost argued, but I figured it would be better for the illusion of a relationship between me and Austin if he slept with me.

We dropped the cattle off a week later, and then made our way back to Santa Fe where we’d started the drive. Most of the men stopped there, but Austin and I went a few miles farther south, and that’s where it happened.

It’s been twenty years since then, and I still shake everytime I think about it.

We’d dropped off the wagon with the men, so I was sleeping on the ground beside Austin. I woke up in the morning to a strange feeling. Apparently, a rattlesnake had found my warmth during the night.

“Austin?” I very quietly murmured, hoping not to frighten the cold blooded reptile. “There’s a snake on me.”

He jumped up and grabbed my blankets, flinging them away.

But the snake wasn’t in the blankets. It must have been as terrified about the quick movements as I had been by it’s slow ones. It struck out at Austin and got his leg.

I was terrified, but I grabbed it right behind it’s head before it could strike again and I beat it’s head on a rock. It was quickly dispatched, but I could see Austin’s face going gray.

“Come on,” I said as I got him onto my horse, this time, him in front of me.

We had only a few miles to my dad’s surgery, and we made it very quickly. Dad must have heard my galloping horse and he came out in a hurry. Austin started to slip off the horse, and Dad caught him.

Austin lost his leg that day, but he gained a constant companion. Me.

I realized I really was a girl, and we simply left the rumor in place. My folks knew the truth, of course, but they realized that there was a real relationship between the two of us.

Austin didn’t drive cattle for two years, and I got used to wearing dresses.

Stan and a few of the others came down to see us several times, and even came for Christmas.

We had a pretty cold Christmas that year, and the men stayed on with us for a few more days.

It was New Years Day that Stan took me aside and said, “You’ve got to get that man of yours back in the saddle.”

I couldn’t argue. Austin had been bored. He was able to ride, but he loved the cattle drives to Denver.

I talked to him later that day, and he said he really would like to be able to lead drives again.

Shoot, as long as he was in the saddle, he was fine.

He’d supported me without my knowing for a couple of years, then protected me from the barkeep and that snake, both the literal one and the figurative. I determined that I would stay... continue to be his ‘wife’ for as long as he needed me to be.

That year, Austin took over from Stan as the boss. We never told Stan what happened. Austin teasingly said he didn’t want people to know that I’d saved him in the way I did, and answered, “Okay, Stumpy.” Somehow the name stuck.

Last year, we lost Stan on the drive. He’d died from heatstroke. Austin almost didn’t lead the drive this year, but I knew he had to. “Stan would want it,” I told him.

I’ve never regretted that resolution to push my man. He always seems more alive on the drives, and this year was no exception. It was hard to not see Stan on his horse, never too far from us, but we felt he was still there, if only in spirit.

Austin is going to keep leading the drives until he can’t anymore, and I’m scared of what will happen at the point. It may seem strange, but I resolve that it will happen on a drive. I don’t want to think of him losing that.