"What do you want with him?" I yelled as Mikey rushed to my side.

I watched in dismay as both police officers stood on either side of Ollie and gestured for him to walk.

"What did he do?" I screamed panicked but neither of them would say a word to me.

"Harris, I need you take her to the parking lot. Her mother is waiting there" was all Coach said. He wouldn't even look at me.

"What did you do?" I raised my voice at Coach but even that couldn't get a response from him.

"Now, Harris" Coach repeated sternly.

"Yes, Coach" Mikey replied before taking my hand. "Jo, come on" he said softly.

"What did you do?" I repeated before letting myself get pulled away.

I suddenly became aware of all the stares. All the students that lined the bleachers and the entrance stared at me, at Ollie and the police officers and tried to piece together what was going on.

No one knew for a fact why the officers were here so I couldn't even imagine what rumors would quickly start to spread.

Whatever they came up with, it couldn't have been worse than the actual reason: that Ollie had sexually assaulted me.

I feared that they would all find out but I think even worse than that, I feared what would happen to Ollie. Because of me.

Mikey had managed to drown out the trauma that assault had caused and I truly believed I had gotten past it but if I would be forced to talk about it and if it would dredge up all those old feelings, I wondered if I was strong enough.

"Maybe this is for the best" Mikey whispered in my ear. "Maybe this is how you deal with it"

"I had dealt with it" I replied sharply.

Students that lined the entrance made way for us to pass. They probably hadn't heard my outburst. There was no reason for them to have any extra interest in Mikey and I.

No, their sights were trained on Ollie being escorted by the police.

=^_^=

My heart sank even more as mum's sedan came into view.

"She knows. Oh God, she knows" the words wrestled in my head.

I watched the driver side door open and mum rush out of the car and in my direction. Her face was so pale, I thought she might faint.

Before she'd even said a word, I felt tears roll down my cheeks. As she closed the gap, I opened my arms and she hugged me tight.

"Mum nothing happened I swear"

"Don't swear" she replied while still hugging me tightly. "How could you not tell me?" she asked pulling apart. I could hear the pain in her voice.

"There was nothing to tell" I tried and failed to convince her.

"That's not what Mr. Evans said. According to him, you were assaulted..." she swallowed "..sexually".

"You don't understand, it wasn't like that!" It was exactly like that but not that simple.

"Then tell me now what it was like and don't lie to me"

I stared at the ground and took a deep breath before speaking.

"Mikey stopped it before anything happened and, and.. he wasn't even himself, we were all affected by the island.. the flower" I struggled to get the words out.

"Jesus Christ Jonathan, not this thing again. We asked about this flower nonsense and we were told there was no such thing. They said nothing out of the ordinary happened on that island"

"Mum they're lying--" i felt my throat dry up after I heard that name. I couldn't believe how horribly this was going. She didn't believe a word coming out of my mouth.

"I tried to be supportive but if this whole transgender thing is just a coping mechanism for some unresolved trauma..."

I couldn't believe what she was saying. "it's not!" I yelled.

"oh my God, I rushed you through informed consent because I trusted you know what's best for you"

"Mum stop!" I yelled. "stop."

We both stayed quiet for a few seconds. My mind quickly glanced over to Mikey who had given us some space when we started getting into it but could no doubt, hear what we'd been saying.

My eyes darted down to my mum's feet. Only a few of her toe nails were painted, the rest remained bare.

My mind darted back to the insane conversation we were having. It had started with me trying to reassure my mother that nothing had happened and somehow my entire identity was now being questioned.

"It's not a coping mechanism. I'm your daughter Joanna. Please never call me that deadname ever again" she remained quiet and listen even though I could tell she had things to say.

"Ollie came at me, yes. He slapped me and even forcefully kissed me. Mikey saved me before it went any further. He even beat him up right there"

She was still listening so I kept going.

"I didn't tell anyone what happened because I didn't want to be that girl that almost got raped. I already have too much attention and I didn't feel like adding to it."

"I didn't tell you because I didn't think there was anything to tell. I'm sorry, I was wrong. I should have told you. Please forgive me."

At that point, I waited for her to say something, anything.

She seemed to think to herself for a bit before nodding,"OK".

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"But I need you to promise me that you're not just transitioning because you fell in love with your saviour" Mum added and it took me a second to process what she had said. "I've seen it happen too many times"

Wait what? Where had that come from?

"Mikey?" I asked bewildered.

"Yes. I've seen my patients do crazier things for love. I need to know that you didn't fall in love with him and decide to become a girl because that's the only way he would have you"

"Mum that doesn't make any sense"

"I need you to promise anyway"

"Fine, I promise. I'm not doing this for love" This whole conversation was crazy, I thought.

She seemed to accept it and move on but I pressed on to get her confirmation.

"So they're going to release Ollie right?" I asked expectantly.

She gave me a strange look "why would they do that?"

I grew upset, "mum I just told you I don't want to be that girl that--"

"I know honey but he has to pay for what he did. He can't just go free"

"Mum you can't!" I pleaded.

"I'm sorry Jo, but this matter is non-negotiable" she said firmly "what if he goes and does it to another girl because we let him get away with it"

"He won't! Talk to him and you'll see, he's not like that I promise"

"He did it to you and a boy that does that is dangerous. There's no reason to think he won't do it again and don't give me anymore of that flower nonsense"

"I'll deny it" I told her "I'll deny everything and say it never happened"

"Now listen here young lady--" Mum seemed to be about to lose it before being interrupted.

"Good day Mrs. Fahey" I heard Coach's voice and wondered how much he'd heard.

"Good day Mr. Evans" she replied calming down.

He turned to me "Hello Joanna". I didn't respond.

"Ma'am do you mind if I talk to your daughter for a few minutes?" he asked.

Mum sighed and nodded before turning over to Mikey who'd been standing apart quietly the entire time. As she began closing the distance between her and him, I felt sorry for him.

=^_^=

Coach looked so sad. It was the first thing I noticed when I walked up to him. Something was definitely weighing on his mind.

"I know it must seem to you like I betrayed your trust but I want you to know that I did this for you" Coach began quickly and kept up the pace like he had something to say and wanted to get it out quickly.

If was weird for Coach to talk to me so casually. Things had changed a lot since three months ago but the last thing I expected was this sort of dynamic between us.

"Why did you do it? I told you nothing happened. I told you I was fine"

"I know. But I made the mistake of believing someone that said the exact same thing before" he replied.

"This is about your sister" I prodded.

He sighed "I told you a bit about what happened to her but what I didn't tell you was that she died... suicide"

I just listened.

"We had a memorial for her a few days ago" he continued "we held a kind of remembrance, just a few people who knew her well"

Coach looked like he was dealing with a lot which was very unusual. Even when we were stranded on that island and things seemed hopeless, he never looked sad... not anything like this.

"I got to talking with a few of her old friends and one of her girlfriends told me that towards the end of her life, she would talk about all the mistakes she made. The biggest one- that she made me keep it a secret. Towards the end of her life, she regretted keeping the whole thing a secret".

My head fell slightly.

"She regretted not telling someone and not getting help" Coach took a few unsteady steps backwards and leaned on a car.

A cool evening breeze blew passed and picked up a few strands of my hair. I stood there in my soccer uniform unsure of what to do or say.

"If I had just had the courage to do what I knew was the right thing, maybe my sister would still be alive" he finished.

After that, I closed the distance between us and hugged him tightly, "It wasn't your fault".

=^_^=

Mum, Mikey and I sat quietly in the car as she drove us home. Mikey had insisted he stay with me and had called his parents to let them know. I had no idea what he'd talked about with mum but it had him deep in thought and visibly distressed.

I thought briefly about asking him about it but brushed the thought away. If he wanted me to know, he'd tell me. Besides, mum would probably hear if I asked.

The long ride remained quiet the whole way through except one moment when mum asked if we wanted to stop for food. I declined.

As soon as we got home, I announced Mikey and I were going to my room while already halfway up the stairs. Mum responded by telling me to leave the door open.

"I can't believe this!" I let out my frustration as soon I collapsed into my bed, "Everyone is going to find out what happened".

Mikey didn't say anything. He was being much quieter than usual.

"As if I didn't already have enough to deal with" I continued "I'm all anyone is going to talk about for the rest of the school year" I sighed loudly.

I noticed Mikey was still standing by the door so I had to ask,

"What's wrong?"

When he didn't reply, I stood, walked over to him and took his hands in mine. "Babe, what's the matter?"

"Have you always been transgender?" He asked me.

"What are you talking about?" my grip loosened.

"Have you always been a girl because you never mentioned it to me"

"Is this about what my mother said because--"

"It is" he interrupted me "And I'm wondering if she has a point because the whole time I've known you, you've been a regular guy and never showed any interest in any of this stuff but all of a sudden--"

"All of a sudden what?" it was my turn to interrupt because I was getting sick and tired of people thinking they know me better than I do myself "you think I'm doing this because of you?"

"Aren't you?" he asked matter of factly.

"Oh my God, you fucking narcissist--" he pushed the door shut when I raised my voice but I didn't care "you think I'm popping pills and wearing these clothes and going through all this shit because of you??"

I didn't expect an answer and I didn't let him give any because I kept going "Because you're so damn amazing, aren't you? I'm turning my entire life upside down because I'm in love with you?"

"I didn't mean that"

"Well what the fuck did you mean?" I was boiling "Because it sounds like you mean I don't have a fucking backbone!"

He didn't say anything and neither did I for a moment. His face fell the floor and even now, through all my anger, that made me sad.

"Ugh!" I exclaimed, stepped away from him and climbed back into bed. I laid down and turned away from him. "If you insisted on coming here just to say this, you've said it. You can leave now." I could hear the sadness in my own voice.

"Jo, I didn't mean it like that" I heard him say.

The tears in my eyes flowed freely, I tried and failed to keep my voice steady. "Just go" I said finally.

Today had started so well.

A few moments later, I heard the door open and close. He was gone.

=^_^=

I was awoken by knocks on the door. I didn't remember falling asleep. The tears in my eyes had dried up and I had a slight shiver.

"Sweetie, it's me. Your dad called, he's coming home early" Mum said through the door.

"Door's open, mum" I called out to her.

She opened the door slowly and walked in. I turned to look at her and she had an expression that said "I come in peace". If that wasn't enough for me to let my guard down, she also had a tray in her hand.

"It's been an exhausting day, I thought you might be hungry"

I sat up and took the tray in my lap. "Thanks".

She took a seat on the bed beside me and rubbed my shoulder.

"I know things got heated between you and Michael earlier and I wanted to apologise. It was my fault and I shouldn't have said what I did"

"It's fine" I said before I took a sip of the chicken soup she'd brought me.

"I just worry, you know?" She continued "It's a mother's job to worry, you'll learn that soon enough"

I was drained. There wasn't any more fight left in me so I just listened to her.

"But even so.." she paused to take a breath. I could tell she was trying to hold back her emotions "I should trust that you know what you're doing and that you know your own mind."

This got through to me and I struggled to stop myself from crying. I was tired of crying.

She reached her palm over and pressed gently into my cheek.

"I have raised a strong, smart, beautiful girl and I'm so so proud of you" she told me.

I could do nothing else but let the tears fall down my cheeks and wet the soccer shorts I still hadn't taken off.

"Oh my baby, I love you so much" she said as she wiped the tears from my cheeks. "When Mr. Evans told me what he thought had happened to you, I couldn't think"

"I'm sorry mum" I forced through my tears "I'm sorry I didn't tell you"

"It's fine baby... now don't worry about that, eat your food and go clean up okay?" she smiled warmly "You dad will be here soon"

"Ok" I nodded "why is he coming back early anyway?" I asked, "I know how important this trip was."

"Honey your father loves you. More than you know. He heard what happened and got on the first train". She said reassuringly.

"He doesn't like that I'm transitioning though, I can tell"

She paused for a moment before responding "It hasn't been easy on him, 'losing his son' but he gained another beautiful daughter and he'll see that, don't you worry".

"Ok mum" I said finally. I wasn't sure I shared her optimism. I'd heard them arguing a few weeks; 'Who's going to carry on the family name?'. For a few days, he wouldn't even look at me. I had just survived a month in hell and came back to a father that wanted nothing to do with me.

I didn't get why this was such a bad thing. All I wanted was to be myself and be happy.

"Your food will get cold" Mum stated as she stood up breaking me away from my thoughts.

I simply smiled and watched her leave the room, all the while pretending there weren't any soul crushing thoughts flying around in my head.

=^_^=

I stood naked in front of the mirror inspecting my body for any changes. My skin seemed smoother and my nipples felt puffy and weird but other than that, there was nothing noticeable yet. I still looked fairly like any girl my age. My slight build and longish hair certainly helped to that effect.

I briefly inspected my neck and noted it was clear of marks. Most cuts and bruises I sustained on the island had healed nicely but there were still a few here and there.

I thought back to what I'd already gone through: plane crash, hit by a wave, washed ashore, slapped, choked, drowned, half a day trying to keep the boy I love from dying in my arms...

Being back home, going to school again, these things shouldn't be so hard. But they were. Harder than when I left.

Maybe I missed the simplicity of the island. One goal: don't die. Things were moe complicated now.

Once again, I was broken away from my thoughts by a knock on the door.

"Honey..." my mum's voice sounded through the door.

"I'm naked" I yelled.

"Ok, I just got a call sweetie, it seems that other student 'Benjamin' has been taken in for questioning. I think he was on the island with you. Do you know why?"

Yes, I did.

We may have gotten off the island but none of us had managed to escape it just yet.

=^_^=

Thank you for completing this latest chapter. I apologise for the long hiatus. My life is about as complicated as Jo's right now. What are your thoughts on this story? How do you like the way things are going? How do you think things will go? Leave a comment to let me know!