Shocked Profoundly Ashamed

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090211/ap_on_re_us/courthouse_k...

It seems that everything that man's imagination can invent has been done by someone else, or perhaps will be done because of something someone has written.

I have always struggled with two or more natures, and so does everyone else as is illustrated in the familiar Yin/Yang idea. There must be hundreds of ways to describe our own internal war with ourselves.

I must shamefully confess that I have spent time on some pretty rough sites in exploring my own drives toward BDSM. Finally after exploring that for some time, those drives in me are simply a need for security (no matter how twisted) a need for punishment (it is the only touching I ever had as a child) and a need to be held tenderly (the need to be helplessly bound). Recently, I finally deduced that the only way any of that would be acceptable to me would be in fantasy within a committed monogamous relationship.

Something as twisted as what these judges above have done is right off the pages of one of the most demented and evil sites. It makes me wonder how many other horrific and heinous tales I have read were actually based in truth.

I really want to go somewhere really quiet for a while and grieve for those poor souls that have had to endure suffering such as this.

By comparison, my own short three day experience of being in a youth detention center and being raped seem extremely mild by comparison. I am too ashamed to even ask for forgiveness right now.

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