Summerswitch Part 05
by Maeryn Lamonte

There was a solid thunk from outside, the sort you only get when you shut the door of a really expensive car. It was quickly followed by two more. I looked out the window to see Grandpa following two people up the drive. Just then Carol called up the stairs.

“They’re here.”

I could hardly move I was so nervous. Come on girl, get your act together. Hang on, did I just call myself girl?

I shook myself. No time now, I needed to get downstairs. I ran out of the room and down to the front door, reached it and pulled it open just as the rather tall and good looking man outside was reaching for the door knocker. A smile lit up his face giving away his identity as if I had any doubts.

“Daddy,” I cried and threw my arms around his neck.

He swung me round as though I were made fluff and feathers and landed me back on my feet. I was actually giggling.

I turned to Shelley’s Mum and gave her a hug and a kiss. “Hi Mum.”

Then turning to Grandpa — I hadn’t noticed any sadness in anybody’s eyes, so I dared to ask, “How’s Gran?”

Grandpa flustered for a little then Shelley’s Dad took over. “She’s doing really well peanut. The doctors think she’ll be ready to come home tomorrow.”

I gave Grandpa a big hug. “That’s great.” I almost murmured it as though I were saying it to myself or just Grandpa.

I turned back to the house where Carol and Shelley were standing in the doorway. Shelley’s expression was unreadable and I sensed the strain that she must be feeling. To see me greeting her parents the way she wanted to; not at all easy.

“Mum, Dad, I want you to meet a couple of very special people.” And with that I grabbed hold of their arms and dragged them towards the house.

I don’t remember many details of the afternoon, just snippets, like snapshots and sound-bites. I remember Shelley shaking hands with her Dad and looking very uncomfortable. I Remember Shelley’s parents thanking Carol for putting up with me in the emergency. I remember Aunt Carol asking if they’d managed to find anywhere to stay yet, then offering to phone a couple of friends in the village who sometimes advertised bed and breakfast. I remember Shelley’s mum taking him out into the back garden. They were gone for a while and when they came back it looked like Shelley had been crying.

The news about Gran was shared in greater detail with everyone. The doctors were allowing her home tomorrow but had stipulated no hard work and no excitement. We all wanted to visit so Grandpa more or less agreed to have us round for tea, as long as we provided the food, and were on our best behaviour. Done deal of course.

Carol asked Shelley’s Mum and Dad if it was still alright for her to take us swimming on Thursday then to give us a treat on the Friday evening. Shelley’s Mum was intrigued and asked for details so for the second time that afternoon she stepped into the back garden, this time with Carol. When they came back in, Mum’s eyes were sparkling and she came right up to me.

“Right it’s settled. You and I are going shopping tomorrow afternoon.”

Shelley and I exchanged bewildered looks, and then Carol doubled the confusion.

“We’ll give you two a lift. Jerry and I have one or two things to sort out in town tomorrow as well.”

They all stayed for tea. Carol invited them then proceeded to bulldoze through their polite excuses until they gave in. It was quite fun to watch. Shelley managed to stay close to his Mum through most of tea which made it difficult to ask what the two of them had talked about in the garden, and it was approaching quite late when they finally took their leave, saying they wanted to get Grandpa settled before heading off to their B&B. Mum made arrangements to come round just after lunch the next day and they left.

I started clearing the table and Shelley joined in, but it must have been obvious that we wanted to be alone together because Carol told us to buzz off outside for a bit so she could get the place how she wanted it. We were only too happy to comply. I grabbed Shelley’s arm and pulled him into the back garden where we walked over to his newly built wall and leaned on it, looking out across the fields.

“Why peanut?” The question had been nagging at me since I’d gone out to greet Shelley’s dad earlier.

“Wha-?” Shelley seemed to come back from the planet Mars and I repeated the question.

“Oh, I tend to go really brown in the sun. On our first holiday Mum was fussing over me and trying to keep me in the shade and I kept running out into the sun to play. Dad’s told her to let me catch the Sun a bit then let me learn from the sunburn, but then I just roasted a nutty brown colour and Dad’s called me peanut ever since.”

The silence dragged out for a bit.

“So what did you and your Mum talk about?”

Shelley was quiet for a while and I was beginning to wonder if I’d overstepped a boundary when she let out a sigh.

“She let me tell her about it. I told her what happened on the walk and how I tried to help you because I felt the charm telling me it could help. I told her all about the change and how I felt and how you’ve been coping. It felt so good to share it with someone; you don’t know how much I’ve missed that. I have no idea how you men get by without talking your problems through.”

“But what did she say?” I persisted.

Shelley shrugged. “Not a lot. She said I’d figured out pretty much everything that needed figuring out and now we just had to wait for the spell to run to its end.”

“But you were crying!”

“Relief at having been able to share stuff with someone.”

“You could have shared stuff with me.”

“Not easily, I mean you are part of the stuff.”

“I thought you were very brave this afternoon. The way you managed to stand by and let things happen, I mean you must have wanted to do all those things with your dad that I did.”

“Yeah, can we drop that particular subject please?”

That hurt. I was just trying to be supportive. Silence settled on us again then after a few minutes Shelley piped up.

“Do you have any idea what Mum and your aunt have in mind for us tomorrow?”

I shook my head. “I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

There didn’t seem to be much else to say. Shelley was caught up in his thoughts. With his parents here it seemed like he’d put up some kind of barrier and I wasn’t going to get past it this evening.

“Shall we see if Aunt Carol’s ready to receive visitors?” I asked and we headed back into the house.

-oOo-

The next day started pretty much the same as the previous one. We woke early and dressed in working clothes. Downstairs the kitchen table was groaning under the weight of one of Aunt Carol’s famous feed-the-five-thousand breakfasts. Shelley allowed her appetite free rein and demolished not only his but most of my ration of bacon and sausage. I’m not sure if Carol noticed me passing half my food to Shelley’s plate, but if she did she didn’t let on.

The last of the brambles were cleared and burning and Aunt Carol and I set to with various odd looking garden tools breaking up the surface of the ground ready for whatever Carol planned to plant there. Shelley carried on heaving rocks and building the wall. We only had a couple of short breaks during the morning otherwise we worked through solidly until lunchtime. With the digging done, I spent the last half hour or so trying to help Shelley only to discover just how heavy the rocks were that he was moving. I’m not sure I helped a great deal other than to boost his flagging confidence and cheer him on.

Eventually Aunt Carol called things to a halt and the wall was nearly finished. We sat about in lawn chairs wolfing down ham sandwiches and drinking lemonade like there was no tomorrow. I overdid it slightly and felt bloated by the time Carol chivvied us to go and get ready.

I let Shelley take the shower first since I knew he wouldn’t be long. Mum had insisted I wash my hair before we went to town, and despite the palaver, I did as told then spent the requisite half hour drying it off and trying to give it some body.

I was still doing battle with it when Mum knocked on the door. Carol said we had time for a cup of tea before we headed off so she ducked into the kitchen leaving Mum to climb up to my room and take control of the hair drier and brush.

It felt so much nicer to have someone else do it and in a surprisingly short time Mum put down the hair drier and I felt my hair and looked at in the mirror. Somehow it was so much softer and fuller than I’d ever managed.

“How did you do that?” I asked.

“Family secret,” she replied. “I may pass it on to Shelley one day, so if you’re really interested you could stick around.”

“That’s not even funny,” I told her pouting a little. “Thanks for fixing my hair though, it feels great.”

“Yes it’s a shame you’re going swimming tomorrow. Hmm, that’s a point we don’t want to wash it too much or it’ll go dry and frizzy. OK after your swim tomorrow make sure you rinse all the chlorine out of it, and I mean all of it, then shampoo it just the once. You’ll be having it done properly on Friday so don’t overdo it.”

Woah, all of a sudden all these instructions, where did this all come from. It seems she wasn’t finished either. She looked at the bed and the pale green dress I’d laid out.

“Is that what you’re planning to wear?” She asked.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing, I just wondered if we might give my daughter a bit of a treat.”

She reached into her bag and brought out a couple of things I’d seen in my wardrobe at the grandparents’ house but not dared to try on. They certainly didn’t take up a lot of room in the bag.

“Hang on, you’re supposed to be my mother and you want me to wear that?”

She smiled brightly. “I don’t see why this can’t be a learning experience for both of you. I very much doubt Shelley will take advantage of you in her own body and it’ll be good for her to experience first-hand how a man reacts when he sees a woman dressed like this.”

“And what about me?”

“Well at least you won’t be too warm in town today. “ I really was not keen on the idea. “Come on, you have an opportunity here to see life from the other side that pretty much no man alive has had. You should embrace as wide a range of experiences as you can.”

“Including the slutty look.”

“I promise it will be an eye opener.”

So that’s how I let myself be persuaded and five minutes later I very nervously made my way down the stairs in a pair of spike heeled sandals, an indecently short denim miniskirt and a ruffled white crop top.

Shelley was taking a drink from her mug of tea when I tottered into the kitchen and he almost sprayed it across the room at the sight of me. I might have found it funny had I not been concentrating so hard to stay upright on those heels.

I staggered over to the kitchen table and sat down. No-one needed to tell me to keep my legs crossed and I found myself constantly playing with the hem of the skirt and the bottom of the top, trying to get them to cover just another square inch of skin. My face was burning and I don’t think I have ever felt so uncomfortable under Carol’s gaze.

“Well,” she found her voice after a second or two, “dressed for the warm weather I see.”

“I found them in her wardrobe at her grandparents’ and thought it might be educational,” Shelley’s Mum said. She really does have an evil streak in her this woman.

Carol handed me a mug of tea and I grabbed it with both hands to stop myself from playing with the cloths anymore. I thought about ‘accidentally’ spilling it over myself, but there was a lot of bare skin and the tea was hot.

Shelley’s eyes remained on stalks and he couldn’t keep his eyes off me while I sat and sipped nervously at my drink. Carol and Mum chatted away as though there were nothing out of the ordinary in the world until Carol announced that we ought to be going.

“What go out?” I was panicking all of a sudden. “Dressed like this?”

“You look very nice dear,” Shelley’s mum told me. “Just be careful in those heels.” And she and Carol walked out of the house without a second glance.

I climbed unsteadily to my feet and slipped my bag over a shoulder, acutely conscious of the way the bottom of the blouse was riding up. I gave the gawping Shelley a nervous grin.

“Well you did want to see a bit more skin didn’t you?”

He stood up in a daze. There was something of a bulge in his jeans and I looked away quickly going red all over again. It had been over a week since I’d experienced a bulge like that, but that wasn’t so long ago that I couldn’t sympathise with Shelley’s discomfort.

I staggered and grabbed for his arm to stop from falling.

“How do you walk in these stupid things?”

“Nyrgh?”

OK so no help there. I led zombie Shelley out to the car and managed to find a little more poise on the tiny heels by the time we reached it. I made sure to scoop the skirt underneath me as I lowered myself into the back seat and to keep my knees together as I swung them round and in. Shelley stood and watched open mouthed then, when I closed the door, emerged far enough from his stupor to make his way round to the other side. I tried to take his hand as we drove off but he recoiled as though my touch had burned him. He didn’t say a word all the way into town.

Carol gave Mum directions to a couple of places and dropped us off in the centre of Harrogate before heading off on their own. They had arranged to meet back here in a couple of hours and so here I was, rabbit in the headlights once more, about to face two hours in public dressed like…

“Everyone’s staring at me Mrs Hamilton,” I hissed out through clenched teeth.

“Of course they are dear, you’re giving them a free show and the way you look right now is enough to turn gay men straight. Why? Aren’t you enjoying it?”

“Not particularly. I feel like a piece of meat.”

“With that much flesh exposed, you look like one as well.”

“Why are you doing this to me Mrs Hamilton? I mean I was never going to wear this until you persuaded me.”

She rounded on me and hissed her reply. From the perspective of everyone else on the street it was just a mother-daughter argument about the way I was dressed.

“OK,” she said, “firstly, you may not be my daughter, but for as long as you’re wearing her skin I would appreciate you acting as though you are her. That means you call me Mum and I call you Shelley. Secondly as I said earlier this is as much a learning experience for Shelley as it is for you and given her reaction to you earlier I think it’s a lesson she’s going to learn very well. Thirdly and lastly, you are going swimming tomorrow aren’t you? And you are planning on wearing that bikini Shelley bought? In that case count this as a sort of easing in. You’ll be showing a lot more skin tomorrow.”

She raised an eyebrow to see if her point had struck home then turned and walked away leaving me to follow in her wake as best I could.

Our first stop was a hair and beauty salon where Mum gave Carol’s name and asked to book me in for the works on Friday afternoon. I had no idea what the works might be, but I could feel another learning experience being lined up. We then hit the clothes shops and if my outing with Gran hadn’t given me some idea on what to expect I would have been overwhelmed. I felt horribly self-conscious walking around all the poshest eveningwear we could find dressed in mainly my skin, so it was largely up to Mum to go through the racks.

She held up one dress after another in front of me and shook her head each time. She was a woman on a mission, single mindedly searching for just the right look, and in what must have been the fifth or sixth shop she decided she’d found it. I hadn’t tried much on in all that time, but once she had picked this one out all the rush of the day seemed to stop.

It was a backless dress in black velvet with a scoop neck at the front and three quarter length sleeves. The soft fabric of the close fitting bodice gently caressed my skin where it touched and the full skirt fell in elegant folds to below the knee.

Being backless I couldn’t wear my bra with it, and even though it covered a lot more skin than I had managed so far this afternoon I felt a little vulnerable in it.

“Oh yes!” Mum said walking round me. “Just the thing. What do you think dear?”

As if my opinion were going to count for much today.

“I already have a black dress Mum.”

She gave me an indulgent look. “Well you most certainly aren’t all girl are you?

“I presume you’re talking about that little black thing you have hanging up at Gran and Grandpa’s. That is a lovely dress and if you picked it out I am very impressed with your taste in clothing, but for Friday we’re looking for something special. Tell me, how do you feel wearing this dress right now?”

“It feels a little insecure up here,” I indicated my bust, “but otherwise…”

I peeked out from where I had been hiding inside myself and allowed myself a good look in the mirror. Wow, actually this looked pretty amazing.

Mum stepped up behind me where I was admiring myself in the mirror. Encouraged by the smile that was growing on my face she gathered my hair together and twisted and lifted up off my neck. I let out a gasp at the sudden transformation that simple manoeuvre had accomplished.

“There you see? Perfect.”

I had to agree and Mum went to pay for it as I changed back into my slutware.

There was a backless bra on the counter with the dress when I re-joined Mum. She had just reclaimed her credit card and was asking if it would be possible to pick the dress up the following day.

She turned to me as I approached. “You are still a b cup aren’t you?”

I nodded. I’d learnt that much from the earlier shopping trip with Gran.

“OK then, lingerie, shoes and accessories.” She was off again. I was getting used to the heels by this time, but I still couldn’t keep up with her.

Half an hour later I was the proud owner of some fairly indulgent underwear, a pair of black patent leather court shoes with a three inch spike heel, a golden necklace with teardrop opal pendant and matching earrings and a quilted black bag with gold shoulder chain. These went into a carrier bag and we headed back to our rendezvous point, arriving just as Carol pulled up.

Shelley looked shell-shocked still, but whether it was my appearance or his new haircut and whatever other tortures he had been subject to I never found out as he neither said a word nor so much as looked at me all the way home. I kept my own head turned away as well, but I could see his refection in the window.

Back at Carol’s, Mum suggested I might want to change before going to see my grandparents and I gratefully headed upstairs to put on the green dress I had left on the bed. Shelley looked up as I reappeared and gave me a weak smile. There was still a haunted look about him as he wandered into the lounge.

“I thought we might bake a cake to take around later,” Carol pulled my attention back from worrying over Shelley.

“Wha-? Oh OK.” I was still looking distractedly at the lounge door.

“Oh don’t worry about him. I think you gave him a bit of a shock earlier, but he’ll recover. Now what do you think? Chocolate or Victoria Sponge?”

I favoured the chocolate but suspected Gran would prefer the other. I had to confess to not knowing how to bake and when Carol asked about the cake I’d brought on the first picnic I told her that Gran had given me instructions and that I’d forgotten most of them.

I put on an apron, aware that I didn’t want to mess these clothes up given the limited options left to me upstairs, and started following Carol’s directions. It was surprisingly fun and easy, and before long I had forgotten the day’s earlier trauma.

The cake was in the oven and I went in search of Shelley with a mixing bowl to lick clean. I found him in the back garden back in his scruffy jeans and working on the last part of the wall. Sweat was pouring off him and from the look of the wall he’d been working at double speed.

“Hey!” I called and he looked across at me. “Fancy a lick?” I held the bowl up and sucked my own finger clean.

He rinsed his hands under the garden tap and came over.

“You looked like you had a pretty rough ride this morning.” I told him.

He scooped out a generous amount of cake mix and transferred it to his mouth, giving him time to think I suppose.

“I never…” He stopped then tried again. “I had no idea… When you came downstairs wearing that skirt and top I… I didn’t know how to react. I was shocked to see you dressed like that. I was angry that you would go out in public; that you would display my body… like that!”

I tried to interrupt, but he raised a hand. I suppose I did want to hear him out so I settled back and let him continue.

“The worst of it was the way I looked at you. For the first time I found myself looking at you like a… a thing, not a person. Can you imagine what that feels like? To look at your own body and see it as a sex object? I felt disgusted, violated even! And when we dropped you off in town it was worse because it wasn’t just me that you were displaying yourself to, it was everyone! All through the morning I was imagining other guys in town checking you out, sniffing around you like you were a bitch in heat…”

I slapped him. Hard.

“So somehow this is my fault is it? Perhaps when you decide to stop playing Mr High-and-mighty and climb down off you prudish high horse, you might consider for a minute exactly who bought that skirt and top in the first place. And once you’ve figured that out maybe you’d like to give some thought to exactly who’s idea it was for me to put them on this afternoon, because it certainly wasn’t mine!”

A stomped off back towards the house, all sympathy gone. I almost made it back in through the door before I realised I’d forgotten the message I’d been asked to pass on. I turned back to the garden to see Shelley heaving yet another stone onto the wall.

“Your aunt says we’ll be going in about an hour,” I yelled. “Leave yourself time to get washed and ready.”

He dismissed me with a wave and stooped to lift yet another rock into place.

-oOo-

I helped Carol make a few sandwiches and then cleaned up the kitchen after our cake mixing. It must have been obvious that things had gone badly in the garden, but she kept her peace and let me stomp around the kitchen taking out my rage on inanimate objects. By the time we were done I had just enough time to brush my hair and check my appearance before it was time to leave.

Despite my earlier message, Carol had had to call Shelley in from the garden to get showered and dressed and he was the last one to come down the stairs. He still wouldn’t look at me so, feeling a little hurt and a lot angry still, I grabbed Carol’s arm and we walked ahead and let him trail along behind us.

Grandpa greeted us at the door and welcomed us in. Gran was sitting in the lounge and we took turns to greet her till Mum came in and shooed us away.

“The doctor said not too much excitement, besides now that you’re here tea must be about ready.”

We made our way to the kitchen and added the cake and sandwiches to an already impressive spread of seafood and salad and biscuits. Grandpa as the host indicated seats for each of us. It was a little cramped with seven off us around the kitchen table, but we managed. The older generations kept the conversation going so the silence between Shelley and me went largely unnoticed. We did get a few odd looks from Gran and Mum, but they didn’t pursue the matter while we were eating.

After the meal Mum suggested that Shelley and I clear the table and wash up. Everyone but Gran and the two of us thought it was a good idea, which is how I found myself tucked behind the sink passing wet cutlery and crockery to Shelley. I was still furious with him and heaven knew what thoughts were going through his head, so the silence persisted apart from the clatter of plates. Shelley knew where everything went from previous visits so there really was no reason for either of us to talk.

I dried off my hands and went hunting for my shoes leaving Shelley to finish drying and putting away. I announced that I was going for a walk and managed to not quite slam the door on the way out. I didn’t get further than the end of the road before I stopped. My arms were wrapped tightly under my breasts and angry tears were streaming down my face blurring my vision so badly that I could hardly see to move. I desperately wanted Shelley to come out and make things right; I was just too angry to make the first move.

It seemed like an age before I heard a door close behind me. I closed my eyes and waited, alternately longing for things to be right between us and raging against the hurt he had caused me.

There was a footstep behind me. “Mum said I should apologise but I really don’t see why…”

I kept my back turned to him. “Is that so? Well perhaps I could give you a clue. Your exact words before I sloshed you were, ‘sniffing around you like you were a bitch in heat.’ Or is that still too subtle for your thick male brain?”

“Look, I didn’t mean it like that…”

“So exactly how did you mean it? How did you think I was going to take a comment like that?”

“Maybe if you’d let me finish a sentence…”

“Maybe you’d like to start one worth finishing.”

He walked past me into my field of vision, mainly I think so I could see when he raised his arms in a despairing shrug.

“OK I get what you said about the skirt and top. I did buy them and I am going to burn them as soon as I get my body back, but what did you mean about whose idea it was to wear them?”

“You think I would wear something like that?”

“Well why not?”

“Because I’ve been a girl for less than two weeks and it’s hard enough putting on a skirt at all. How the hell do you think I felt wearing something like that?”

“So why did you?”

“Because your mum asked me to. She said something about making this a learning experience for you too.”

Shelley’s stunned expression said more than words could have managed.

“O shit Jerry, I’m sorry. And here I am taking it out on you.” He stepped towards me hesitantly.

“Get away from me.” I batted his arms out of the way and he looked at me confused.

“You think it’s all alright now that you know it was your mum’s idea. You really don’t get it do you?” He shook his head. “In the time we’ve been like this have I ever done anything like this? Have I ever done anything to deliberately upset you? And when I I’ve upset you by mistake didn’t I try to make things right as soon as I noticed?”

“Well yeah, I guess…”

“So what the hell was going through your thick skull to have you accept so easily that I would deliberately mess with your head today? I mean you were so caught up in your own self-righteous anger that you didn’t even notice how terrified and confused I was. Then when we get back did you even notice that the first thing I did was go upstairs to get changed? No you wait till I come out to make peace with you and you… you as much as accuse me of being a slut and a bitch!”

Curtains were twitching in nearby houses. In retrospect the end of Gran and Grandpa’s road was probably not the best place in the world for us to have our first row.

Horrified realisation was dawning slowly in Shelley’s eyes and it took him several seconds to find his voice.

“Jerry I… I’m so sorry, I have been such a prat.”

I flung myself at him, arms around his neck so tight he probably couldn’t breathe, pouring great heaving sobs into his chest. His arms went around me and suddenly all the pent up rage and anguish had somewhere to go and flooded out of me.

I don’t know how long we stood there, me crying, him stroking my hair and whispering reassurances into my ear, but eventually all the hurt was gone and I pulled away from him a little.

“Can you forgive me?” He asked.

I laughed through the last of my tears. “I rather thought I just did.”

He went along and smiled, but there was still concern in his eyes.

“I forgive you, you great lummox.”

It would have been an ideal moment for that first proper kiss, but the silence hung between us for just a little too long. I’m not sure which of us ducked first, but the magic of the moment burst like a bubble. The silence needed filling.

“So how are you going to react when I put on that bikini tomorrow?”

He laughed. “I think I’ll be alright, I mean everyone else there will be showing a lot of skin. Maybe not quite as much as you, but whatever happens I won’t react like today.”

“You’d better not.”

The silence descended again.

“I was going to wear that pink beach dress; you know that one with the halter neck?”

“I have a sort of wrap around sarong thing that goes with that if you want to drop the hemline a little.”

“I take it you’d prefer me to?”

“Right now I don’t feel like I have the right to make suggestions about your wardrobe.”

That earned him a hug.

“I’ll see if I can find it.”

“You’ll have to go without a bra as well. The halter neck leaves too much back exposed and having a bra strap across the gap looks all wrong. It’s alright with a swimsuit under it but you may feel a little insecure afterwards when the bikini’s too wet to wear.”

More silence.

“We should be getting back.”

“Yeah, I suppose they’ll be wondering which of us has killed the other.”

“Promise me one thing Shelley?”

“Anything.”

“Don’t let’s row about something like this again; I hated being that angry with you.”

“I promise I’ll try.”

We headed back indoors and there was a collective sigh of relief when they saw us holding hands. We didn’t contribute much to the rest of the evening, but at least we didn’t add any more awkwardness to the atmosphere.

As it was, Gran’s bedtime was rapidly approaching and, conscious of her need for rest, we all took our leave and headed for home. This time Carol walked on her own but I don’t think she minded.

-oOo-

I looked in the mirror for the umpteenth time. It didn’t seem to matter how I pulled the costume. It didn’t cover any more skin. I remember hearing someone — on the telly I think — say about women’s swimwear, the less material used the more the cost. If that were true, this must have been quite an expensive piece of clothing.

All it consisted of was several scraps of black material tied together by rather flimsy looking straps. It had taken me a while to position the knots so that the material gave best coverage of the most important places, but I still felt almost totally naked and extremely vulnerable; as though the slightest breeze might loosen something and leave me utterly exposed.

“Shelley, are you ready love?” Carol called up the stairs.

We’d eaten a reasonably early breakfast in our nightclothes then I’d headed upstairs to change. I’d been up here half an hour trying to make this work.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was seriously drop dead gorgeous in this thing, but after yesterday’s performance I was terrified of Shelley’s reaction.

“A few more minutes,” I called back. The muttering downstairs was getting loud enough to hear; I would just have to go for it.

I grabbed a white halter neck top and, swinging my hair over my shoulder and out of the way, tied it in place. I then picked up a mid-length wrap around skirt I had found the other day and fastened it in place. It had two layers of lightweight silky material, one a sort of light brown and the other a light blue. I threw a black tube top into a large bag along with some knickers and a strapless bra, added my towel and a bottle of shampoo, then headed downstairs.

Shelley did a double take. “I thought you were going to wear…”

“I changed my mind. I think I heard somewhere that women are allowed to do that.”

He shrugged. “You look great.”

“Tell me that when we’re at the pool, it’ll make me feel much better.”

Carol’s head popped out of the kitchen. “All set?”

I slipped my feet into a pair of flip-flops. “Yup, all set.”

Shelley sat in the back with me and seemed content for me to hold his hand. I didn’t want to push things after our argument the other day, especially wearing this bikini.

The forty five minute drive to York was uneventful and by the time the green flume tubes came into view, giving the complex a somewhat organic appearance, I was confident enough with my swimsuit’s ability to stay together and keep things in place that I was beginning to look forward to the day.

Aunt Carol paid for us to go in, took valuables like phones, watches and money off usbefore heading for the café. Shelley gave me a here-goes-nothing shrug and ran off towards the boy’s changing rooms. Feeling rather self-conscious I headed for the girls.

I found a locker and dropped my bag into it. It was strange to be surrounded by so many half naked women and stranger still to feel absolutely no reaction to all the flesh on show around me. Everyone was getting on with their business as though there was no big deal to it all so I slipped off my top and skirt and dropped them into my bag. Flip-flops followed then I dropped a coin into the lock and removed the key.

One or two of the older women gave me disapproving looks and I looked down at my body, afraid that something might have slipped.

“Oh don’t mind them, they’re just jealous.” It was a pretty if somewhat more heavily built girl who had spoken. She was just arranging the straps on a one piece swimsuit as well as the position of certain prominent parts of her anatomy. “If I had a bod like yours I’d want to show it off too. You go for it girl.”

She gave me a smile and headed off to the pool. Suddenly I felt a lot better about my appearance. I gave myself another once over and followed her out.

Shelley was waiting as I walked out into the pool area. I walked up to him and gave him a twirl. “So what do you think?”

He gawped at me for a few seconds then without warning he ran off and dived into the nearest pool. There were quite a few more pairs of male eyes checking me out and, dreading a repeat of the previous day, I walked over to a set of steps and lowered myself gently into the pool. At least with the surface of the water to obscure the view, things wouldn’t be quite so bad.

I was getting used to the peculiar sensation of my breasts floating a little in the water when Shelley came up behind me and lifted me bodily out of the water. I let out a scream and started kicked my legs as he threw me laughing in to an empty patch of water. I came up spluttering — and intact, yes I checked — laughing with him and moved over towards him.

There was a shrill whistle blast and we looked over to see one of the lifeguards glaring at us and pointing at a noticeboard with the pool rules on it. Shelley offered an apologetic wave and we moved apart.

“Sorry about that,” Shelley said to me, “but you look absolutely fantastic.”

We trod water and touched fingers.

“So what was that running off about then?”

He coloured up considerably. “Oh yeah, kind of sudden growth in the speedos; I had to get in the water quick before someone arrested me for indecency. I think you’ll find that a lot of the lads felt an urgent need to go for a swim just after you made you appearance.”

It was my turn to go red. “So nothing like yesterday then?”

“Nope, although I am having to cope with a whole bunch of other different urges today. D’you fancy giving the slides a go.”

The change of subject was welcome and I nodded my head setting out across the pool to the queues heading up the stairs.

As with the theme park, I found my terror threshold a lot closer to the surface and screamed my way down each slide, throwing up protective arms every time I came tumbling out into the water. Shelley on the other hand kept looking for ways to make it more exciting; going down headfirst, pulling himself into the tubes so that he could go down faster.

It took me a while, but I eventually realised that he was actually showing off, trying to impress me.

Once or twice a larger and much older lad came over and tried to talk to me. He did have an impressive physique — definite six pack going on there — but I didn’t care for his aggressive approach so I told him I wasn’t interested. When he persisted I could see the jealousy and anger growing in Shelley’s body language and decided I had to be firm.

“Look,” I told the newcomer, “like I said I’m flattered and everything, but I already have a boyfriend and I’m not interested.”

“You have to be kidding right? I mean what could you possible see in a pathetic little squit like that?” He dismissed Shelley with a wave and grabbed hold of my arm.

I squealed and pulled away. The next I knew I was down on my bum and Shelley was standing between me and the guy who was both considerably bigger and heavier than him.

“Touch her again and I’ll deck you.” Shelley’s challenge was met with a derisive laugh and it looked like he was ready to make good on his threat so I reached out and grabbed his arm.

“Come on he’s not worth getting chucked out of this place over.” I kept on tugging at Shelley’s arm until he gave in and let me lead him away.

“Jerk!” he muttered under his breath. “Who does he think he is pushing himself on you like that?”

I hugged his arm with both of mine. “My hero.” He gave me a kind of sideways look to check if I was making fun of him. “No I mean it; in your shoes I would probably have run away from a creep like that. How come you know how to use my testosterone better than I ever did?”

“Probably because I don’t know enough to realise when I’m outclassed. I suppose I should thank you for saving me from a class one beating.”

“Actually with the sparks you were giving off I’m not sure who would have won. I doubt I’d have appreciated the bruises when I got my body back in any case, that is assuming…”

I couldn’t finish the thought but I didn’t need to. It was weighing pretty heavily on both of us how this weekend might end.

“You know if we get stuck in that sort of thinking we’ll never resolve this.” The thunderclouds seemed to pass and he gave me cheerful smile. “Fancy riding the rapids?”

So we did. For the rest of the morning and into the early afternoon we enjoyed all the pleasures that Water World had to offer, only tiring of it as our stomachs began to grumble. By mutual agreement we decided to get changed and go find Aunt Carol.

I spent an age under the shower rinsing my hair until I was convinced I couldn’t smell any chlorine in it. The shampoo I had brought was a body wash as well so I gave my body a good lathering as well as allowing myself one thorough soaping of my hair. I then dried myself off as best I could and headed for my clothes.

I still felt uneasy getting changed in front of everyone else so found a cubical to wriggle about in. The strapless bra was stiffer and more constricting than the usual ones, but it did help to hold everything in place so I was glad to have it under the tube top. The skirt I had worn in the morning finished off the ensemble and I dropped my damp things into my bag and made for the exit.

I spotted some coin operated hair driers on my way out and decided to spend a bit more time on my damp locks. While I was brushing out the tangles and dealing with the wetness a familiar figure came up beside me.

“Hi, I thought it was you.” It was the girl who had chatted to me earlier. She stopped in front of the mirror long enough to use an eye dropper. “Helps clear the eyes after a good swim. You look like you could do with using them as well.”

“Thanks,” I replied as the hair drier decided I’d had my fifty pence worth and shut down. I read the back of the bottle and decided that they couldn’t do any harm so tipped my head back and let a drop into each eye before handing it back.

“I’m Debbie,” she stuck out a hand.

“Shelley,” I replied taking it and shaking it once. “I’m visiting my grandparents in Ferrensby for a few weeks. My friend’s aunt offered to bring us here for a day out today.”

“So you’re not from around here then? Shame it would have been nice to meet up later.”

“Yeah it would. Listen I really appreciated what you said earlier, I was feeling a bit nervous showing off so much of myself.”

“Don’t sweat it, you caused something of a sensation in there and it was fun to watch all the jaws hanging open. I really like your skirt as well, I really want to get one, but I can’t decide if it would look that good on me.” She was working out knots in her tangled hair but keeping an eye on me in the mirror. Come on say something nice.

“I think you’d look great, but maybe stronger colours than this one, they’d really show up your complexion.”

I wasn’t sure if my instincts were on, but she seemed to appreciate the comment.

“Do you mind if I try something?”

I shrugged and before I knew it she had rearranged the skirt around my waist, lifted and folded the outer skirt over the tube top and tied it at the back. I checked myself out in the mirror, turning to see the effect from every angle.

“Wow!” was all I could manage.

“There are hundreds of ways of wearing those things you know, you should check the interweb; there are loads of ideas.”

“I will, thanks.”

“That guy you were with…”

“He comes up to Ferrensby to visit his aunt. We kind of got together this summer.”

“So… boyfriend?”

“I’m hoping so, but he’s taking a while to catch on.”

She gave me an odd look that ended with a kind of sigh. “Well it was nice meeting with you Shelley. I hope things work out with your guy.”

“Thanks, it was good meeting you too Debbie.”

She headed off towards the exit and I made a bee-line for Shelley who was waiting by the stairs that led up to the café where Aunt Carol had spent the morning.

-oOo-

“About time you showed up,” Shelley said as I approached. “I like what you’ve done with that skirt.”

“Yeah there was this girl I met in the changing rooms showed me how to do it. She said there are tons of ideas on the Internet.”

“Was it that dark haired girl who came out of the changing rooms just ahead of you?”

“Yeah that was her.”

“I think she rather fancied you.”

“What you mean…” My jaw fell open as all the little things fell into place. The compliment when we first met, the way she looked at me, the ‘accidental’ meeting at the mirrors, the slightly more that friendly familiarity when she was adjusting my clothing…

“So what did you think of her? I mean since you’re really a guy in there I wouldn’t be too upset to find out that you still like girls.”

“The weird thing is I don’t feel that way though. I’ve actually found myself looking at the other guys in the pool rather than the girls. It’s been worrying me actually, I mean shouldn’t I be attracted to girls?”

“I’ve been thinking about it myself because I’d have thought being in the boy’s changing room would have been a real turn on for me, but in the end it felt like I was just another guy with all the others. I didn’t feel in any way aroused until you walked out wearing that bikini.

“I think it was your comment about the testosterone that helped me figure it out. I mean ever since the switch I’ve not been interested in girl things. I haven’t felt the need or the desire to spend hours every morning choosing the right clothes and doing my makeup, I haven’t felt all that talkative and romance stories that I know would have made me all gooey a couple of weeks ago don’t interest me so much now. It’s like this body is reacting as a bloke and my mind is wired into what makes it feel good or not so good. Does that make sense?”

I felt an immense weight slide off my shoulders. “You know it does. I mean somewhere in the back of my mind it’s concerned me that I’ve slipped so easily into being a girl. The way I feel about you in my body, even the way I felt about some of the other guys around here, has seemed so wrong; like I was turning gay or something.

“It makes so much sense! I mean even though I’m a guy with a guy’s memories, right now I’m in a girl’s body with a girl’s brain and a truckload of female hormones and so I’m experiencing everything differently. Oh Shelley you have no idea how much of a relief it is to have an explanation for that.”

“Actually, I think I do… You know, have some idea. It’s been bothering me too.

“Look there’s Aunt Carol.”

We’d made it to the café and Aunt Carol waved us over.

“Have fun kids? Shelley I love what you’ve done with your clothes! I mean is it a skirt or is it a dress?”

I felt a flush of pleasure rush through me; the girl in me reacting to a complement. “I met a girl in the changing rooms who showed me how to do this. She says there are tons more ideas online so I think I’m going to have to go surfing later.”

And that’s how the afternoon unfolded. We grabbed a bite to eat to restore our flagging bodies then headed off into York itself. We walked the length of the Shambles then headed on to more interesting matters. Carol and I spent more time than was fair on Shelley looking at clothes in different shop windows before taking pity on him and heading into the steam museum for an hour or so. It was a great afternoon and over all too soon, however as soon as we were back home I begged Carol to let me have use of her rather aging computer and spent several frustratingly long winded but ultimately fruitful minutes browsing the Internet through a dialup connection. Armed with a bunch of ideas, I dashed upstairs and started working through dozens of different ways I had found for wearing the sari skirt. In the end I settled on one that used the inner skirt as I kind of halter top and came back downstairs to find Carol and Shelley busy putting tea together.

“Oh I’m sorry, I got carried away. You know I think I could wear this thing every day for a month and never look the same twice?”

I was treated to a couple of indulgent smiles; I was evidently showing a bit more enthusiasm than was seemly.

“I called your parents while you were upstairs,” Carol told me as I lay the table. “They suggested you might like to visit your grandparents tomorrow morning. Your Mum will take you into Harrogate after lunch to get ready for the evening and I’ll sort Jerry here out myself.”

“What is happening tomorrow evening?” I couldn’t bear the suspense any longer.

“Never you mind for now. It’s just a special treat I want to give to both of you for being such good company and such good workers while you’ve been here. I would rather it be a surprise because I think that you will enjoy it all the more if it remains so.”

“But you’ve already treated us loads! You took us to the theme park and to the splash today…”

“No, that was just what I had planned to do with Jerry in any case. Having you along was an added bonus because I seriously don’t think he would have enjoyed it half as much on his own. No this is different and a heartfelt thanks from me to you both for helping sort out my garden.”

I let out a sigh. “Just as long as you know you didn’t have to…”

“Oh I know that. I’m doing it because I want to.”

The spuds were cooked and Shelley put his back into mashing them down. A dollop of butter, a splash of milk, a generous helping of salt and pepper then a lot of elbow grease. Shelley was pleased with the result as plates were piled high with sausage, mash, veg and gravy. We were all so hungry that not another word was said until there were three empty plates on the table.

“I think I shall be able to put these away without washing them,” Carol said as she stacked the plates and dumped them in the sink despite her words. “Go on, you two clear off for a while and leave me a bit of peace. There’ll be tea and cake later when you’ve walked off all those calories.”

We’d given up arguing with Aunt Carol over things like this and headed out the door grateful for a chance to be alone with each other. We walked and talked and held hands, discussing Shelley’s idea form earlier. I was interested how she’d felt about the window shopping and the trains, and was not surprised with her response.

The clothes shopping hadn’t been as dull as we’d thought since he had positive memories of similar expeditions; it was just that they fired off different neurons and didn’t bring the same emotive response as he was used to when he was a she, leaving it as more a familiar exercise of the mind rather than anything else. I had felt the same way about the trains, remembering past experiences where I’d gone bananas over machinery, this time I could see how impressive the engines were, but didn’t feel in any way passionate about them.

I felt so close to Shelley at that moment; if I could have I’d have crawled into his skin with him. I wanted to know what was going on in his mind.

“What are you thinking?”

He was silent for a while considering. I mean I didn’t need a five-hundred word essay on it, just an indication of whether he was anywhere near the same train of thought as me.

“Thinking how cool those trains were this afternoon,” he finally came up with, so apparently not.

I felt my hopes crumble and the closeness kind of faded. We didn’t stay out that long that evening.

-oOo-