Summerswitch Part 03
by Maeryn Lamonte

The next day I woke to a bloated feeling in my midriff. I headed for the bathroom and noticed some spotting in my knickers. I’d brought an applicator just in case and after my shower decided that this was as good a time as any to get started. The whole process was something of an anti-climax and I felt quite normal afterwards — apart from the bloated feeling. I also had a twinge of cramp across my lower back, but thought that might just as easily be caused by my first excursion in heels the previous evening.

I pulled on a pair of loose canvas trousers and a fairly scruffy tee-shirt. I didn’t feel too much like taking time with my appearance and we were going to be getting down and dirty in a local farmer’s field that morning. I grabbed a scrunchy and pulled my hair into a rough pony tail like I’d seen the girls at school doing, then headed down for breakfast feeling less than wonderful.

Gran didn’t comment on my appearance and just put a mug of herbal tea in front of me.

“It helps with my arthritis,” she said. “It should help you a little bit too.”

I thanked her and sipped at the bitter brew with barely concealed distaste.

“You get used to the flavour,” Gran breezed turning back to the loaf of bread and cutting a couple more slices for the toaster. “And you will appreciate the effects in a few minutes.”

“What’s in it?” I took another sip and tried to think of the good it was supposedly doing me.

“Echinacea,” Gran replied. “It’s an anti-inflammatory which makes it good for your current problem as well as mine.”

I swallowed down a larger mouthful and looked up as Grandpa poked his head into the kitchen.

“Oh, where’s my glamour girl this morning?”

“She took the morning off Grandpa. Gran said we were going fruit picking today and it didn’t seem sensible to risk ruining my good clothes.”

I wasn’t feeling that hungry but at Gran’s insistence managed a slice of toast and marmalade. When I had finished Gran’s vile brew she offered me a glass of OJ and I gratefully drank it down in an attempt to take away the flavour of the Echinacea. I had noticed the cramps in my back easing though and I said as much to Gran.

She gave me an I-told-you-so smile and after breakfast we went through the slow, gentle rituals of the morning before getting ready to head out to the farm.

I had pulled on some ankle socks and was tying up the laces on my trainers ready for the off when there was a knock at the door.

“Whoever could that be,” Grandpa muttered as he went to answer it, returning a minutes later with an enormous bouquet of flowers.

“Well I know I didn’t get them for you,” Grandpa said to Gran. “So unless you have a secret lover stashed away somewhere and he’s suddenly acting a lot bolder, I can only imagine these are for you my dear.”

He handed them to me and I just looked at them in shock. Gran eventually came to my rescue with a bucket of water and an assist putting them into it. The envelope was, as predicted, addressed to me. I opened it and read.

“Dear Shelley, thank-you for giving me a second chance. These are the flowers I would have liked to have given you yesterday if I’d had the time to arrange it. Looking forward to tonight, Jerry.”

No-one had ever given me flowers before — well obviously I mean who gives flowers to a fifteen year old boy? — and I felt myself going weak at the knees as I looked at them. I thought of Shelley in my body smiling from my face and the feeling grew.

Gran and I split the flowers up, cut them and arranged them in several vases which I then placed in different rooms about the house. I had no idea what the different flowers were, having had no interest in them up until the previous evening, but the colours and shapes and perfumes were intoxicating. It was almost a shame to leave the house.

“I don’t think he’s thinking about that girl back home right now.” Gran said.

With that my thoughts drifted to Alex. I pictured her in my mind and wondered what it was that I saw in her. I mean sure she was pretty, but now when I thought of her there were none of the waves of emotion that I usually felt washing over me. Was it possible that as Shelley I wasn’t attracted to girls anymore?

The morning passed quickly enough and by the time we were done I had decided I definitely preferred picking strawberries to raspberries. Quite apart from the absence of thorns, the strawberries were that much tastier and I discovered that I still had a very sweet tooth as the occasional fruit found itself diverted to my mouth instead of the punnet I was using to collect them. Eventually, burdened with Gran’s wheelie shopping bag and two additional heavy duty shopping bags full of fruit, we made it back to the house.

Grandpa had picked up some double cream when he went to fetch his newspaper so we put aside a generous bowl of strawberries to eat with lunch, then Gran set about the alchemy of turning the rest of the fruit into preserves. I helped where I could but with the amount of instruction I needed I was more hindrance than anything. By the time we had finished, the combination of the bloated icky feeling in my stomach and the sight of too much fruit had stolen my appetite from me. I nibbled on a sandwich to try and appease Gran and eventually as three o’clock approached, I excused myself to go upstairs and get ready.

Every young woman needs a little black dress and since my, or rather Shelley’s, body was developing a rather exquisite classic hourglass figure, what I needed was apparently a v-neck dress with an a-line skirt to show off those curves. That’s what the lady in the shop had said before she presented us with a disappointingly plain looking dress. Gran had insisted I try it on and the moment it fell into place I knew it was perfect. There was a zip up the back and the skirt was made of a light material which settled at about mid-thigh and swirled about like it was alive.

The price tag had been alarming and I had taken a lot of persuading, but it looked so good on me that I eventually allowed Gran to talk me into buying it, in exchange for her agreeing to buy that scarf for herself. It hardly seemed fair — well let’s face it, it wasn’t — but right now I was so excited about the prospect of wearing it that I managed to forget how much it had cost, both in compromised values and cash terms.

Yeah get that, a fifteen year old boy excited about wearing a dress. Go figure.

I lay the dress out on my bed and smoothed down the soft material, then went in search of the accessories. To go with the LBD, I’d also bought a cream crop cardigan, a new clutch bag, some ten denier charcoal tights and pair of black open-toed heels.

With everything laid out, I sat down in front of my dresser wearing new black lacy knickers and bra — yes quite sexy — and set to work on my makeup. Armed with a few pointers from Shelley the night before, I decided to do the works, so starting with a light coating of foundation I added some light shading to accentuate my cheeks and a light plum eye shadow. Following a surprisingly accident free application of eye liner and mascara, I finished off with an equally surprisingly accurate painting of the lips with the same pink lip gloss I’d used the day before.

I was admiring my handiwork when Gran came into my room and, after giving me a critical once over, smiled and nodded her approval. I stepped into the dress and she helped fasten me into it then sat me down in front of the mirror to do my hair.

She started by brushing it gently till I drifted into a state of sublime contentment. She then teased out a few strands of hair from either temple and braided them with a length of black ribbon, joining them at the back and blending them back into the rest of my hair. The final effect was a kind of coronet made of braided hair and ribbon which seemed an ideal complement to the dress.

This done she fetched her jewellery box and pulled out a thin silver necklace and matching dangly earrings, each with three strands of the same silver linkage. I wanted to protest but she wasn’t in a listening mood, so I held my hair out the way while she fastened the clasp of the necklace and replaced the studs I hadn’t even noticed were in my ears with the earrings.

I shook my head gently from side to side enjoying the weight pulling on my earlobes and Gran stepped out to let me finish getting ready.

I slipped on the tights and felt a new shock of pleasure course though me as the skirts of my dress brushed my nylon clad legs with a cool and gentle caress. I slipped on the cardigan and my heels, picked up my small clutch bag and gave myself a dazzling smile in the small mirror. As far as I could see the overall effect was perfect.

I opened the clutch bag and transferred a bare minimum of emergency supplies and makeup along with enough cash to provide me some spending money and the cost of taxi ride home should I need it. The last thing to squeeze in was my mobile and I found myself wondering, not for the first time, why so few people seemed to be calling or texting it. Then with one last once over I headed out the door and down the stairs for grandparental approval.

Gran and Grandpa both did a quick version of the Shelley Hamilton fan club thing with Gran pinning an orchid from this morning’s delivery to my cardigan, then Gran pointed at the clock and waved me towards the door. I had a curfew of ten o’clock which fit in quite well with the film and bus timings. With nothing else to be said, I kissed each of them and headed through the door.

The bus stop was a five minute walk away and I reached it ten minutes before the bus was due. Shelley was again smartly turned out in best jeans and new polo shirt; black this time. I wondered how long it would take before I started to envy him his five minutes to get ready, but then the look on his face when he caught sight of me made the two hours’ preparation worthwhile.

He seemed completely at a loss for words so I took pity on him and kissed him lightly on the cheek and thanked him for the flowers. He swallowed a few times and words still refused to come. I knew how that felt from his end and put him out of his misery — or maybe made it a little worse, I’m not sure — by linking arms with him and leaning my head on his shoulder until the bus arrived.

One uneventful bus ride later, we found ourselves a high speed grease dispensary and joined the queue. I told Shelley that he wouldn’t have a growing boy’s body to feed for ever and that he should make the most of it, so when it came our turn to speak to the minimum wage slave behind the counter, he ordered the franchise’s version of a four ounce burger with cheese and everything and supersized fries and coke. I settled for a chicken salad wrap with normal sized extras and, having paid and collected, we found ourselves a table.

Our teenage bodies surrendered to their craving for junk food and for the first few moments we revelled in the sinful pleasures of the mass produced, overly processed, nutritionless wares we’d just bought.

“You know this stuff should be listed as a controlled substance,” Shelley said and I found myself laughing even though it was an old joke. Somewhere inside I wanted to encourage him and it felt good to see his confidence grow with my reaction.

Shelley put down his half-eaten burger and took my free hand in his.

“You know you look absolutely fantastic?” I felt myself blushing as a deep sense of warm pleasure began to diffuse through my body. “I mean that dress looks spectacular on you and I love what you’ve done with your hair.”

“That was Gran’s idea.” I said. “I wondered if it was a bit over the top, but I’m quite pleased with the way it turned out.”

“You know, if the spell were backwards we’d be back in our own bodies right now; I never thought my body could look so beautiful.”

I know it was meant as a compliment but somehow it shattered the illusion of what this evening was turning into. The cramps chose that moment to reappear as well and I felt the dreamy feelings that had started to grow drifting away.

I think Shelley sensed something had slipped away as well because he dropped my hand and returned to his food. Nothing much more was said as we finished eating and headed for the cinema.

The film was something of a relief as it gave an excuse for us not to talk and eased the awkwardness between us. At one point Shelley tried to put his arm across my shoulder, but that added to my discomfort and didn’t really feel right so I pulled it back between us. I knew it would feel like a rejection to him though and softened it by holding onto his hand. I didn’t really want to do that either, but I wanted to crush his feelings even less, so I held on.

The film was quite a good one and had me halfway through a packet of tissues by the end. It gave me an excuse, and as the credits rolled up the screen I dived for the ladies’ room to fix my makeup. Once I was satisfied with the way I looked and had taken care of the necessary down below I made my way back to a fidgeting Shelley who gave me a weak smile of relief when I reappeared.

“I thought you might have snuck out the back or something.”

“I would have thought you of all people would know that it takes time to do these things.”

“Well it was worth the wait,” he said somewhat lamely and we had another awkward moment.

“You know that’s my first time in a public loo as a girl?” He laughed and the awkwardness was defeated.

We talked about the film on the bus ride home; steering for safe topics and acting as friends. He walked me to my door and we stood facing each other for a few moments and I could see him marshalling his courage.

I wasn’t ready to go there just yet so I reached up and kissed him on the cheek. “I had a great time this evening Shelley. Thank-you.”

I could almost see him deflate a little, but he managed a smile. “Maybe we can do something like it again soon?”

“I’d like that.” I smiled back and touched his arm. “Call me?”

He nodded and I turned to go into the house.

“Jerry?”

I turned back to him. He was looking at his feet and seemed near tears.

“I think I screwed up somewhere this evening. I’m sorry.”

I realised how hard this was for him as well, trying to deal with all sorts of newness. Yet again I felt what he was going through — been there, done that, got the tee-shirt.

“You didn’t do so bad,” I said lifting his chin. I gave him another smile and kissed him lightly on the lips.

It was the right thing to do. Seeing the light come back into his eyes was a delight. His spirits soared and mine followed.

“Maybe we can do something tomorrow?”

I laughed at his sudden exuberance, like a puppy jumping up and down.

“Like I said call me. Oh and no more flowers. They were absolutely gorgeous, but I don’t know if my allowance can afford many more gestures like that.”

I went in through the door and turned to see him dancing and kicking his heels as he made his own way home. I leaned against the edge of the door and allowed myself a few gooey feelings at his antics. He was an idiot, but the way he was beginning to make me feel…

I closed the door and popped my head in on Gran and Grandpa.

“How was it?” Gran asked getting up.

“Oh it had its moments,” I said going just a little bit dreamy. “The cramps came back though.” I winced and rubbed my back.

“Oh I’m sorry love, would you like some Echinacea tea?”

I nodded gratefully and followed her through to the kitchen. We sat and I gave her a blow by blow as the kettle boiled. She made all the right noises at all the right times and it felt so good to relive the experience with someone who understood things from my point of view.

“So are you going to see him again?” Gran asked as she passed me the mug.

“Weeeell, let’s just say I won’t be too surprised if the phone rings tomorrow.”

“Oh I am pleased. He seems like such a nice young man, and it would be so good for you to have someone your own age to spend your time with.”

This demanded a response and fortunately quite an obvious one. “Gran you know I enjoy spending time with you and Grandpa.”

“Nonsense dear, you’re young and would much rather be running off having adventures. We know that you love us, but that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying some excitement you know.”

I gave her a hug. “Thanks Gran, you and Grandpa really are the best.”

The cramp eased and I rinsed the empty mug out in the sink. “I think I’ll turn in, it’s been a long day.”

“Goodnight dear, sleep tight.”

There were fresh night clothes laid out on the bed when I got there; Gran’s way of saying she’d been doing some washing. I somewhat reluctantly slipped out of the dress and hung it back up in the wardrobe, stroking the soft fabric as I did so. I slid of the delicate tights, careful not to snag them, then changed into the fresh nightdress. It was long like the one I’d been wearing when I first woke up in Shelley’s body and I wondered if the shorter tee-shirt nightie had not quite met with my grandparent’s approval. The fresh fabric was soft and smelled of summer flowers.

I sat down in front of the mirror and teased out the braids and ribbons in my hair before going for the goop to clean my face. Makeup remover, skin cleanser, moisturiser. It didn’t take that long but it was still a drag to do it every night.

I picked up a hairbrush and started pulling the knots out. I’d have to do it again when the morning came, but the knots would be that much worse if I didn’t make a head start now. Once the worst of the tangles were out, the brushing became pleasurable and I continued for a while feeling myself become slowly more drowsy. Eventually I slipped into bed and snuggled down hugging the thin duvet. The eager, hopeful look in Shelley’s eyes drifted across my memory and I felt all warm and fuzzy as I drifted off to sleep.

-oOo-

The sun was well up when I drifted back into consciousness the next day. I squinted at my watch, until my sleep addled brain made out the big hand on the six and the little hand between the eight and the nine. I stumbled out of bed and dealt with immediate necessities before heading downstairs.

“Morning dear,” Gran’s cheerful smile greeted me as I made a less than lady-like entrance. “I’ve just put the kettle on, would you like a cup of tea, or would perhaps some Echinacea?”

The ache in my back wasn’t bad enough to want to face the bitter herbal brew. I brushed a stray strand of hair out of my eyes and offered Gran a bleary smile.

“Just normal tea please Gran.”

I found a seat and collapsed into it. The tea, when it came, revived me and I sat up a bit straighter.

Breakfast was unhurried but welcomed by my growling stomach. Gran didn’t say anything and I was grateful just to sit and gather my thoughts. Grandpa popped his head in at one stage to say he was heading down to the shops for his paper, and I was about to head back upstairs to get washed and dressed when the phone rang.

Gran answered it then offered it to me with a smile.

My insides were melting away as I put the receiver to my ear and breathed into it, “Hi!”

There was a pause then Shelley’s voice sounding half strangled. “Hi yourself.”

I kind of stood cradling the phone listening to his breathing for a while. Eventually he found his voice again.

“Listen, Aunt Carol suggested a break today and asked if she could take us out for the day. She suggested either Water World in York or Lightwater Valley which is a theme park up near Ripon. Personally I fancy the water park, but mainly because I want to see you in that new bikini I bought before coming here.”

The last came sotto voce, so I guessed Carol wasn’t too far away.

“I’m not sure that would work, I mean you remember that last thing we talked about a couple of nights back?”

“Oh! Right!” He was quiet for a while. “That explains quite a few things. I’m guessing it started yesterday?”

“Yeah in the morning.”

“Cramps.”

“Kinda,” I was aware of Gran not too far away and didn’t want my end of this conversation to sound too weird.

“Well that’s not a problem; I’ve been swimming at that time in the past. It really doesn’t make any difference.”

“It does to me; I don’t think I would feel comfortable with it.”

“Oh OK,” he sounded a little disappointed. “How do you feel about theme parks?”

“That I think I could do, maybe keep the other in reserve for another time?”

“OK, sounds like a plan. I’ll see if I can book us some tickets. We may be out of luck trying to go on the same day though.”

“Well, I guess if you can’t manage it the water park will be OK.”

“I’ll sort something out. Pick you up in half an hour?”

“OK.” I said and put the phone down.

I ran up the stairs as fast as the long nightdress would allow me. I mean thirty minutes? Who can get ready in thirty minutes?

Fortunately Gran and Grandpa were early risers so the bathroom was all mine. I showered in record time and headed for my room. What to wear, what to wear? I rummaged through the wardrobe discarding one thing after another, too short, too long, too pink; nothing seemed right.

Then I found it them. A pair of faded lemon yellow shorts and a plain white button down blouse. I mean theme park right? Water splashing everywhere and scary rides above peoples’ heads; I needed to think of my modesty. Plus it looked like today was going to be a scorcher and letting my limbs out in the sun seemed like a plan. Gran and Grandpa might disapprove, especially if they caught me knotting the blouse to show some navel, but I decided I wouldn’t do that till we were away from the house.

I changed as quickly as I could, mumbling curses over the backwards buttons on the blouse, and settled down in front of the mirror. Nope, this was a day to go au naturel makeup-wise. I pulled a brush through my hair until the knots gave in and checked my watch. I might actually be ready on time.

A pair of flat canvas shoes and my white bag with some emergency supplies had me about ready. I spent the last few minutes hunting through the dresser for Shelley’s famous bikini just in case we had to revert to plan B. I think it took me a while to find because there was so little of it; nothing but string and imagination, and not much of the later needed if I did put it on. I was suddenly curious to see how I would look in it, but there was a knock at the front door and I dropped the costume back into the dresser drawer and headed downstairs.

It turned out that Shelley had been able to book Lightwater Valley so I didn’t need worry about swimming gear. Aunt Carol assured Shelley’s grandparents that I would be fed, watered and returned to them by nine that evening. They wished us all a fun day and waved as we drove down the road.

Shelley sat in the back of the car with me and spent most of the journey telling me what we had to look forward to. Apparently the park’s website had videos and pictures of all the rides, and we planned our day based on Shelley’s information. I wasn’t too sure about some of them, but put myself in Shelley’s hands; I mean after all she was the girl here wasn’t she? Anything she could take I should be able to manage. Aunt Carol’s only stipulation was no water rides within an hour of our planned departure time.

The whole experience was great fun. OK it turns out that since I had become a girl my panic reflex became a whole lot more sensitive. I screamed till my throat was sore and jumped at the least provocation. Shelley didn’t mind because it was usual in his direction that I jumped and he had far more opportunities to put his arm around me than I would otherwise have allowed. We fed on overpriced junk food for the second day in a row and had a go on every single ride in the park, more than once on some cases.

Shelley didn’t push the romance side. Either he was sensitive enough to notice that I wasn’t ready to respond to that just now or he sympathised with how I was feeling with the time of the month, having been there himself/herself? In any case he was just friendly and fun to be with. At the end of the afternoon as we were all heading back to the car I kind of impulsively grabbed hold of his arm and leaned my head onto his shoulder.

He peered round at me with a quizzical look on his face.

“Thank-you,” I told him, then as the furrow in his brow deepened, “for being exactly what I needed today.”

He freed his arm and put it round my waist. I let him and after a second or so put my own around his. It felt good.

We stopped at a pub on the way back and Aunt Carol treated us to a meal. I tried to protest that she had already spent too much on me today, but she smiled and shook her head.

“If you want to pay me back, Jerry and I are clearing out an overgrown bit of the garden tomorrow and any help would be gratefully appreciated.”

Gardening has never been a favoured pastime with me, but with the right company… “Where do I sign up?”

“Oh just turn up any time after about nine o’clock and wear something you don’t mind getting dirty.”

I thought of the canvas trousers and tee-shirt I had picked fruit in and wondered if Gran had washed them already.

The meal was good wholesome British pub fair and the portions were immense. I felt guilty at leaving almost half of mine until Shelley came to my rescue.

“Feeding a growing body remember?” He grinned and winked at me and I gave him a disapproving pout then spoilt it by smiling through it.

Back in the car Carol reminded me that I might want to unknot my blouse and tuck it back in before we made it back into the village. It was so creased that I doubted it would fool Shelley’s grandparents, but I did as suggested to at least show willing. As promised I was deposited back at my doorstep just before nine.

I gave Shelley’s hand a friendly pat. “See you in the morning greedy-guts.” I wanted to kiss him, but somehow not here and not now. He smiled and gave my hand a squeeze. He had such a nice smile.

-oOo-

The Spanish Inquisition was waiting for me as I stepped in through the door and I found myself gushing about how much fun I’d had and how thoughtful and restrained Jerry had been. I told Gran about the planned excavations at Carol’s house the next day and she went to fish out my freshly washed and ironed work clothes.

I suddenly felt guilty. “I feel like I’m taking advantage of you,” I told her. “I mean I’m sleeping under your roof, eating your food, letting you do my washing and ironing for me, and I’m hardly ever around.”

“And as I said the other day dear, that’s just the way we want it to be. I’m so thrilled that you and Jeremy seem to be hitting it off so well; it’s good that you young people are enjoying yourselves so much. Besides I’d be cooking and cleaning for your grandpa anyway; you don’t add so much to the workload you know.”

I slipped upstairs long enough to change into a floral print skirt and a blouse with a Peter Pan collar and puffed sleeves then came back down to sit and chat with them for an hour. Considering I’d only met this elderly couple less than a week ago, I found them easy to like. I mean OK, as far as they’re concerned I’m their grand-daughter and they want to spoil me rotten, but even so they were pretty special and I wanted them to know it.

It seemed my change of clothes was noted and appreciated because Grandpa gave me a hug as we all got up to go to bed. He’s not the most demonstratively affectionate person in the world and I found myself blinking back a tear.

Sleep came easily that night. The cramps had all but eased and apart from the rather unpleasant job of disposing of and replacing certain feminine hygiene products, the whole time of the month thing wasn’t turning out to be as bad as I’d first feared. I found myself thinking warm and cuddly thoughts of Shelley as I drifted off again, but I was too tired to remember any dreams.

I awoke with a warm snuggly feeling and lay for a while imagining myself lying with my head on Shelley’s chest. In my mind I could feel every contour of his chest and stomach and I squeezed the duvet imagining it was him; somehow feeling him beside me made me feel more complete. I wanted to kiss him again and started to daydream about when that would happen and what it would be like.

Gran was rattling pans in the kitchen downstairs and since I was awake I figured it would be good to get up and say good morning. I took my usual detour on the way downstairs and Gran and I sat and chatted about things and nothings for a while.

“Gran?”

“Yes dear?”

“When you met Grandpa, how did you know he was the one?”

A dreamy look came over her weary face and the years seemed to fade from it as her eyes became unfocused.

“It was shortly after the war of course and everyone was working to put the country back on its feet. As soon as school broke up for the summer holidays, all us young people were out on the farms helping to bring in the harvest.

“With rationing and everything everybody was that much thinner, leaner I suppose you would say, and there were so many good looking boys. I was quite a dish myself in those days,” she looked at me daring me to challenge her but I just smiled as I was carried into the sheer joy of her memories. “Quite a few of the lads who came to work on the farm asked me out or tried to persuade me to go with them for a roll in the hay, and I’m not too ashamed to admit that I let myself be led on a few occasions.

“I always had an eye for your grandfather though. He was tall and lean and always kept to the shadows so to speak. I thought of him as the strong and silent type and used to dream of the day when he would step up behind me, take me in his arms and kiss me like some scene from a Carry Grant movie.

“Of course he never did and after a while I realised the obvious, that he was painfully shy. I was young and foolish then and whenever one of the more forward young men asked me out I would, more often than not, say yes. This happened once when Geoff was there and I noticed the pained look in his eye when I agreed. It gave me a thrill to know that he had feelings for me and after that I’ll admit I deliberately accepted one or two offers to go to the cinema just to see his reaction.

“Then I found out that a lot of the lads were making fun of him over it and even deliberately asking me out in front of him to taunt him. I felt angry and guilty and such a fool all at the same time and decided I had to do something about it, so when Tommy Greenly found me talking to Geoff and came up to me to ask if I wanted to go to the harvest festival with him I told him that I was already spoken for and I took your grandfather by the arm to imply that he was the one doing the speaking.

“Tommy laughed and walked off and I turned to look at your grandpa. I was worried that I might have been a little too presumptuous, but that look of surprise and gratitude and maybe just a hint of something more in his eyes melted away all my doubts.

“From that moment on we were together as often we could be. We lived quite some distance away from each other and during the weekends he would cycle thirty miles to see me and thirty miles home again both on Saturday and Sunday. I never so much as looked at another man after that, and his eyes have never lost that look, you know surprise, gratitude, maybe just a hint of something more?.”

I felt a tear trickle down the side of my nose and finally broke out of my trance long enough to discover that my mug of tea had gone cold during the telling.

Gran offered me a tissue and took the mug. “There, there, it’s not that bad is it? I’ll make you another one.”

“No, oh no! It’s not that, it’s just that that was such a beautiful story.” I was babbling.

Gran treated herself to a very self-satisfied smile. “Yes I have been very fortunate in that regard.”

The seemingly ever-hot kettle was poured and I soon had a fresh mug in my hands. “You never know, Jerry might just be your one,” she waved off my protests. “I’m just saying that you will know when you find him, and most likely before he does.”

We reverted to less emotive topics and shortly afterwards Grandpa came in with his paper and gave Gran a kiss. The affection was so evident in the way they looked at each other and I found myself wishing the same for myself when I was older.

An odd thought crept into my head. Was that the Jerry in me that was making the wish or the Shelley, and where exactly was the divide? I felt like I was losing myself more and more with each day I spent in this body and slipped into a pensive mood, wondering where this was all going to lead in the end.

I chewed absent-mindedly through my one slice of toast and more or less ignored Gran’s comments on my appetite, then I headed upstairs to get ready. The canvas trousers seemed to be the best bet since I expected to be crawling in the dirt today, but instead of the scruffy tee-shirt I chose a halter top that I hoped would keep me cooler. This summer was turning out to be real scorcher.

No I was not thinking about how it would look more attractive than the tee-shirt. Well OK maybe a little.

The digging and clearing was actually as fun as gardening has ever been. Shelley managed to keep me laughing with a mixture of silly comments and acting the fool, the hard work kept my mind off the bloated discomfort in my middle, and it was good to chat to Aunt Carol again even if she had no idea it was me she was talking to.

We had so many long cool drinks during the day that only Shelley managed to eat much at lunchtime. I found myself looking for some signs of all this eating around his middle, but he was as lean and skinny as I remember being. He still looked pretty good with it though and we kept catching each other stealing the odd sideways glance at one another until that in itself became a silly game.

I was trying to decide whether or not I should accept the more or less inevitable invitation to stay for tea when Gran and Grandpa poked their heads around the side of the house and invited Carol and Jerry to come for tea that evening; their way of saying thank-you for looking after me the previous day. Everyone agreed it was a good idea so we carried on working till about five, then I headed home to get myself cleaned up.

I showered and washed my hair then spent ages drying it and shaping it the way I wanted. I then spent another age choosing the right outfit — conservative enough not to upset Gran and Grandpa, yet exciting enough to keep Shelley interested. In the end I settled on a plain dark green sundress with a v-neck, a tight waist and very short sleeves; yet another of the many acquisition from my midweek trip into town with Gran. I wondered about makeup then decided against it. I was going for a simple, less sophisticated look and this pretty much did it.

I made it downstairs in time to help Gran set the table. Most of the flowers from Shelley’s bouquet were still looking pretty fresh so I arranged a couple of vases in the kitchen to brighten the place up. The knock on the door came just as Gran was getting ready to pull dinner out of the oven, so Grandpa invited Carol and Shelley straight into the kitchen. Shelley noticed the flowers and smiled at me till I ducked my head and hid behind my hair.

Grandpa sat at the head of the table with Gran and Carol sitting opposite me and Shelley. Gran had roasted a chicken which Grandpa carved with a practiced flourish, then when everyone was served, Gran and Carol led the way in a never ending stream of conversation with Grandpa looking fondly on. Shelley and I rubbed legs under the table and held hands when we thought no-one was looking and the adults quietly ignored us.

When the meal was over Shelley and I were left with the washing up while the olds went into the front room with cups of tea and coffee. When we’d done Gran suggested that the two of us might like to go for a walk since it was such a fine evening. We didn’t need telling twice and were out the door in the time it takes to pull on a pair of shoes.

Shelley put his arm around my shoulder and I melted into his side. We walked quietly for a while then he broke the silence with something that had obviously been bothering him.

“What about Alex?” He asked quietly.

“I haven’t really thought about her much this week,” I replied offhandedly. “I guess I’m not a lesbian.”

Shelley stopped in the middle of the street and I turned round to find a shocked expression on his face. I didn’t help matters much when I burst out laughing.

“You say the most moment shattering things at times you know,” I said putting my arm back around his waist and pulling him along. “I know you’re trying to do the right thing, but honestly I’m going to have to break you of the habit sooner or later.

“I have thought about Alex and it’s like I have a woman’s perspective of her which is far less intense than the way I felt about her when I was in that body.” I poked him in the chest. “Wasn’t it you that said we needed to go with the flow of this spell or whatever it is if we want to change back soon? That’s what I’m doing; going with the flow and this is where the flow’s taking me right now.”

I tightened my grip on him and he stopped and looked into my face. I dropped my gaze and leaned my forehead against his chest.

“Not yet,” I whispered. “I’m not ready for that just yet.”

So we drifted through the village with our arms entwined around each other and lost in our own thoughts. Sunset was quietly spectacular and in the fading light we turned back to the house.

“How do you feel about another picnic tomorrow?” I asked as the front door came into view. “It’s Sunday tomorrow and even Aunt Carol can’t be evil enough to get you to work on a Sunday.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he said and he opened the door and held it for me.

-oOo-

The weather broke during the night and I woke to the sound of my bedroom window rattling in its casement. There was still a lot of blue in the sky, but there were also quite a few more threatening clouds interspersed among the more cheery ones and the blustery wind looked like it was settling in for the day.

I rummaged through my wardrobe considering options. I still wanted to avoid trousers out of deference to Shelley’s grandparents, but most of the skirts were short enough to make preserving my modesty in the wind something of a challenge. In the end I found a sort of sienna coloured calf length tiered skirt with matching patterned top and a long dark brown cardigan with slightly over long sleeves that I could pull down over my hands.

Shelley phoned about nine to ask if I was still up for our planned excursion and since neither of us could come up with an alternative we decided to give it a try. I didn’t fancy my chances of baking a cake like the one she and her gran had made at the beginning of the week so I offered to bring the sandwiches and let him sort out the rest.

I don’t know if it was the confusion of gender whenever I thought about the two of us, or having to go through one of the less pleasant aspects of being a woman, or even just the sudden change in weather, but I spent most of the morning moping around the kitchen nursing a cup of tea. Gran, who usually more or less lives in her kitchen, sensed I didn’t particularly want company and managed to find something to do elsewhere.

Grandpa made some comment about the wind being “invigorating” when he came back with his newspaper, then ducked into the lounge leaving me to my own thoughts.

About ten-thirty I cut up half a loaf of bread and put together a selection of sandwiches. With the picnic basket ready with my contribution, I popped my head into the lounge to say I was heading up to see Jerry.

Gran looked up from her knitting and glanced out the window. “Are you sure that’s wise dear?”

I shrugged. “I need to get out Gran. I have my mobile on me just in case.”

“Alright dear, be safe.”

I headed out the door to discover that “invigorating” was one of Grandpa’s rather more impressive understatements. The wind kept tangling my skirt around my legs making something as simple as walking an interesting challenge, and by the time I had reached Carol’s house I had nearly been blown off the road half a dozen time.

Carol tried to persuade us not to go out, but I had an objective in mind and no ‘invigorating’ breeze was going to deter me. Shelley added a packet of biscuits, some crisps and a couple of cans of drink to our lunch and we headed out carrying the basket between us.

I turned off the road soon after we left Carol’s house, following the reverse of the route we had taken on our last picnic. Shelley gave me a couple of sidelong glances but left me to my brooding and we walked, or rather staggered, up the path for fifteen minutes before Shelley pointed out a clearing in some trees next to the path where we could shelter from the wind.

I didn’t have much of an appetite and this seemed to affect Shelley as well. By the time I’d nibbled my way through one sandwich and given up he also seemed to have had his fill. He opened one of the cans of drink and we shared it in silence while the wind raged in the treetops all around us.

I lay down and put my head on his lap. He stroked my hair which seemed to calm the inner turmoil for a while, but the sound of the wind in the trees kept my nerves on edge and after only a short while I sat up and started packing the remains of our lunch back in the basket.

“We should get going.”

“Where?” He asked, not moving.

“I want to go back to that tree on the rise where this all started. I can’t go on with this; I need us to change back.”

He sighed and looked up at me. “I’ve already told you Jerry, it doesn’t work like that. We have to work the spell through to its conclusion.”

“How do you know?” I yelled at him hugging myself across my chest. “I mean you didn’t even know what the spell was going to do, how do you know that we can’t just go up there and undo it somehow?”

He didn’t answer but looked at the ground in front of him.

“You know I don’t think you want to switch back. I think you’re enjoying not having to cope with a period for a change. You like being able to stuff your face without worrying that you’re going to get fat.” That was probably unfair as he’d only eaten one sandwich more than me today, but then fairness didn’t have a lot to do with this outburst. “You love being able to get up in the morning and just throw on any clothes that happen to be lying around. Five minutes to get ready instead of hours, and not having to wear skirts all the time because your grandparents don’t approve of trousers.”

There was a hurt look in his eye and he wouldn’t meet my furious gaze. I turned and stomped across to the other side of the clearing. A minute or so later I felt his hands on my arms.

“I’m sorry Jerry, I really am. I never meant…”

“No! You don’t get it, you don’t get it!” I twisted round to face him and started pounding on his chest. “I’ve been a boy for fifteen years. I mean OK, not much of one, maybe a bit of a wimp, but it was still me. Now somehow I’ve been a girl for about a week and it feels like I’m getting lost in it. I don’t know who I am anymore and I want it to stop.”

I stopped hitting him and buried my face in his chest, sobbing.

He put his arms around me and held me until I had cried myself out. He stood there stroking my hair and kissing me on the top of the head and I felt myself melting deeper into his embrace, feeling the hurt and frustration fade away, feeling safe.

“We can go if you want to,” he murmured in my ear. “It’s probably no more than another five or ten minutes up the path.”

I leaned on him and played with one of the buttons on his shirt. After a few seconds I asked, “Do you think it’ll do any good?”

“No I really don’t,” his voice was low and quite. “I know I didn’t expect the magic to work this way when I called it, but I do have a sense for how it’s working now and I’m pretty sure it can’t be forced or changed; certainly not without making things a whole lot worse than they are right now.”

We stood there a while longer. Somehow it felt like I was able to draw on his strength and calm, and the raging sea inside me settled. I wiped my eyes on his sleeve and stepped past him.

“I must look a fright.” I imagined big puffy red eyes and pulled a napkin out of the basket, which I then used to dab at my tears.

Shelley laughed, a little uncertainly but it felt good to hear.

“What?”

“This may be totally the wrong thing to say at the moment, but you can be such a girl sometimes.”

I laughed and glanced over at him smiling but acutely conscious of the redness around my eyes. He put an arm around me and we dissolved into fits of giggles, banishing the last of the internal storm.

The weather above us wasn’t taking any hints though. The wind was stronger than ever and being indoors suddenly seemed like a much better idea. Shelley grabbed the basket and led the way back down the path, rummaging in its depths for the packet of biscuits. He offered me one before taking three himself.

“Pig,” I told him.

“Tell me that you would do anything different if you were me right now.”

He was right of course so I stuck my tongue out at him. He laughed and took hold of my hand and we walked along in silence for a while nibbling away like squirrels.

After a few minutes Shelley glanced across at me and asked, “Is that really what you see when you look at me?”

“What?”

“A bit of a wimp. You know the way you described yourself back there?”

I looked at him and tried to think what I did see. He wasn’t a wimp. A bit skinny perhaps, but not flabby. I squeezed his arm with my free hand; it was pretty firm. And he did have kind eyes and a lovely smile. I felt a dreamy smile growing on my lips.

“Well?” he asked having given me enough time to think.

“No,” I replied with an unusual softness in my voice. “Definitely not a wimp.”

I leaned my head on his shoulder and he squeezed my hand. The rest of the trip back to Aunt Carol’s was made in silence, but the good kind.

-oOo-