I, like many others, learned to read from the “Dick and Jane” series of books to which I was first introduced in the first grade. While the dog, Spot, ran and Dick played games with Jane, I was absorbed in looking at pictures of the pretty dresses Sally wore. I was envious of the puffy sleeves, the pink, the ruffles, and the short hems. I learned to read really quickly while pouring over those books wishing I could wear those beautiful outfits.

The only problem with sharing my desire to wear Sally’s pretty dresses was that I was a boy and, even at 5 years old, I knew that boys wore pants and girls wore dresses. I kept my fascination to myself. Over the next couple of years, Dick and Jane were replaced, and mostly forgotten, when books for older readers took over my required and recreational reading.

Jump forward to the fourth grade and a certain day when we came into the classroom from our recess. Our teacher Mrs. G. began teaching but quickly stopped and demanded the class to tell her, “Who did it?”

I had no idea of what she was talking about until she didn’t get an answer and began calling students up to her desk. I watched with fascination as Tina A. was turned around and Mrs. G. looked down the back of her pants. As an adult, I think that had Tina protested, we might not have had to endure the humiliation. However, she didn’t resist and neither did anyone else.

One by one, each of us in the class made our way up to our teacher's desk, who pulled our pants aside, and peered into them to see our bare bottoms. I couldn’t pull my eyes away when Becky F. walked up to the desk. Becky wore a skirt and, from my desk, I had a perfect view when Mrs. G. pulled the skirt up in the back. Had Becky not moved, no one except Mrs. G. would have seen anything, but Becky squatted down when her skirt went up. Mrs. G. pulled on the skirt to get Becky to her feet and in so doing she exposed Becky’s panties to the whole class.
I was enraptured by seeing Becky’s panties. They were white, like the panties my mom wore, only they had pink roses and pink lace trim on the legs and waist. They were like nothing like I’d ever seen and even Mrs. G. using too much force to pull aside Becky’s panties so that half her bare bottom was in my sight, I couldn’t stop looking at the panties.

Girls in my class didn’t often wear dresses like Becky had that day. Most wore a type of pants, not like the boy’s jeans, but still pants. Mostly dresses were worn around the holidays or on picture day. That is except the Amish girls always wore dresses and some kind of tights.
Just like everyone else, I let Mrs. G. look down the back of my pants at my bare bottom. I realized years later that someone had probably pooped their pants and she was trying to find out who had done it, but then I was just another kid who followed the authority of an adult. For me though, the embarrassment wasn’t even comparable to the joy in seeing a couple of the girls in my class having their panties exposed. After that day, I became infatuated with looking up the skirts or dresses of women and girls.

Jump forward again - just one year. The fifth grade and Diane P. saw me looking up Denise S.’s skirt. I didn’t know she’d seen me or told our teacher, Miss O. I didn’t find any of that out until I got home and my mom was waiting for me.

I had been acting out a lot and my mom wasn’t normally one to punish us kids, but when my dad had abandoned us, she reluctantly took on the role. With my mom, she didn’t generally spank and have it over and done. She stewed about it and built herself up to punishments. That day I just got a talking to and sent to my room to think about what I’d done.

It wasn’t until a certain Friday after I’d been caught that I got my real punishment. I came home from school and mom was waiting for me. I thought my punishment was done, but my mom had stewed about it for a couple of days. She walked me to my room and laid out on my bed I saw a girl’s dress, panties, and tights. I didn’t understand until my mom began to take off my shirt.

I resisted, but I was only nine years old and even though I was a boy, my mom could still overpower me, which she did. I got tired first and could only cry as my mom stripped off my clothes and put me in panties.

“How long?” I choked out between sobs as the plain white cotton panties went up my legs.

“At least until bedtime,” she said, breathing hard from wrestling with me.

I gave in and even though I really had no choice, I let her put the white tights on me and then lifted my arms to make it easier for her to put me in the dress.

The dress was nothing like Sally’s dresses from the Dick and Jane series. It was a little big and the “waist” was down past my hips and the hem was almost to my ankles. It was your basic girl’s dress of the late 60s. Stylish for the time. It had a pattern of flowers on the chest, the arms went down to mid-forearm and ended in an understated frill. It was yellow and didn’t display many frills. The collar was also understated and was tight around my neck.

“It seems too long for anyone to see your panties,” my mom told me while adjusting the dress. “That was the purpose of the punishment. Should we see if Kate has a shorter dress you could wear?”

“The neighbor?” I asked, my heartbeat going up to a thousand beats a second. “This is Kate’s dress?”

“No, silly,” my mom said, “this is your dress. It used to be Kate’s but her mom loaned it to me.”

My neighbor Kate was the prettiest girl in the neighborhood and I was wearing her dress and I assumed, panties. I was somehow thrilled and humiliated at the same time.

“Did you tell her it was for me?” I practically sobbed.

“Well, I had to Sweetie,” she replied. “We better go see if she has something that would fit you better.”

“Mom,” I begged, “please, I'll never look up a girl’s dress again! I swear!”

“Of course you won’t,” she told me and took my hand.

Just like the fourth grade, I gave into the authority my mother had over me and, holding her hand, I went outside wearing a dress. We were at the neighbor’s house in no time and my mom knocked on the door.

Mrs. P. answered the door and was the first person, other than my mom, to see me wearing girl’s clothes. Moments later, as we were shown into the house, Kate saw me and she burst out laughing.

“That’s not how we treat guests,” Mrs. P. told off Kate.

“No,” said my mom, “don’t scold her. “He is being taught a lesson and it is appropriate that she does laugh.”

I was trying to hide behind my mom, but she pulled me out into the open again and told Mrs. P. that the dress was just too long and asked if she could borrow something shorter for me to wear.

“Kate’s dresses are all that size, but I have some put away that might fit better,” she told my mom. “Should we go find them?”

“Why did your mom put you in my dress?” Kate asked me when our moms had left.

“I got caught looking up a girl’s dress,” I told her.

“Oh? That’s hysterical,” she said. “Are you wearing panties too?”

“Uh… yes,” I replied.

“Ha!” she laughed. “Serves you right!”

She went back to doing her homework when the sounds of her mom and mine returning reached the room. They were chatting and Kate’s mom had a cardboard box in her arms.

The box was dropped in front of me and before I could stop it, Kate’s mom was lifting my dress up to pull it off. I felt my face begin to burn as I was ceremoniously undressed in front of Kate and by her mom. I felt naked even though I still wore the girl’s tights and panties.
My mom held up something to my chest and I couldn’t see much, but it was decided that it was worth trying it out.
“You want one of my camisoles?” Kate asked the room.

“Yes, Honey,” Kate’s mom replied, “please.”

I had no idea what a camisole was but I recognized a training bra when I saw it and I slowly raised my arms to allow Kate’s mom to slip it over my head. I heard the women cooing as it was tugged into place on my chest.

The new dress was soon going over my head with my arms willingly raised to make it easier on the women. I didn’t want to look. What I could see was mostly white with some pink and I felt the collar around my neck as well. I could feel the hem of the dress a lot higher up on my legs.
“Didn’t I wear that in Kindergarten?” Kate asked her mom.

“Yes, I think you did,” Kate’s mom answered. “It does fit really well, considering.”

“It’s cute,” Kate stated. “Do we have matching panties?”

“Check the box,” her mom said.

Kate rummaged in the box as my mom and Kate’s mom fussed over me. I watched as Kate pulled out a pair of silky pink and white panties that seemed to be made of nothing but lace and frills. I didn’t think it was possible for my face to be any redder, but it felt like my entire body was blushing.

To my absolute horror, Kate’s mom reached under the skirt of the dress and began removing the tights and panties! I was frozen in shock and I could only gasp out “Stop” before I felt the air begin to touch areas I wanted to keep covered.

“Don’t worry,” Kate’s mom said to mine, “Kate has babysat for her cousins.”

And that was it. My mom began to help and Kate and her mom took away the tights and panties. I assume because my mom, not used to being in charge or punishing her kids, simply let Kate’s mom take over while I paid the price for her timidity. The moment I lost my will came almost instantly when Kate reached up from where she was sitting by the box and lifted the hem of my dress and looked at my nakedness underneath.

“Mommy,” Kate said, “it looks smaller than baby Davie’s peepee.”

I looked at my mom who suddenly started to blush and look away as Kate’s mom lifted the dress’s hem even more and took a look and began to giggle.

“Well, Honey,” Kate’s mom said, “it’s unfortunate, but sometimes a boy will stay baby-sized all their lives, eh, Elizabeth?”

“Uh…” answered my mom, obviously uncomfortable, “yes, I guess so.”

“Did his daddy have a baby dick too?” Kate’s mom asked and Kate giggled.

“Um, no,” my mom told her. “He was normal.”

I stood meekly while Kate took it upon herself to put me into her old panties. She then took out a pair of pink socks and put them on my feet.
“Mom,” Kate began, tugging on her mom’s dress, “can I do her hair?”

I looked at my mom who stayed silent while Kate’s mom gave her permission. Kate had said “her” and I waited for my mom to correct her and when she didn’t, I felt betrayed.

“C’mon,” Kate said, grabbing my hand. “We’ll go to my room. Don’t worry. I’ll make you look so pretty.”

I meekly allowed myself to go with Kate. I had long hair. I hated to get it cut and Kate used that fact to her advantage. Kate played with my hair for the longest time and then she started putting makeup on my face. When she was done, she pulled me into what I assumed was her mom’s room where there was a full-length mirror.

“Take a look,” she instructed me.

I did. Looking back at me was a little girl. A toddler with curly hair held in pigtails with pink ribbons.

“Is this a baby dress?” I asked Kate.

“No,” she answered, “but it kinda looks that way with your hair like that.”

I was stunned. Instantly, I went back to when I wanted to be dressed like Sally and I couldn’t stop looking at how closely I did. Kate had asked me something but I didn’t really register her question.

“What?” I asked her.

“I said you need a girl’s name,” she answered. “You can’t go around like that with a boy’s name.”

“Oh,” I replied.

“I think ‘Nancy’ is a very pretty name,” she said. “Do you like ‘Nancy’? It does kind of suit you.”

“I guess so,” I answered, still looking in the mirror.

“Go ask your mom,” she ordered me.

“What?” I asked, stunned.

“Your mom,” she stated. “Go ask her to start calling you Nancy, okay?”

“Why would I?” I asked, puzzled.

“Because if you don’t, I’m telling all the girls at school.”

“Kate,” I gasped. “Please don’t tell.”

“Go ask your mom,” she ordered again. “And when you do, hold out your dress like this and then curtsey with your legs, like this.”

She showed me what to do and had me practice until I got it close enough. She then took my hand and led me downstairs. Our moms were at a table in the kitchen drinking coffee and my mom’s face lit with joy when she saw me.

“Oh, Kate,” my mom said, “she looks so cute!”

My mom had just referred to me as a “she”.

“She does!” exclaimed Kate’s mom as I walked over to my mom.

“Mommy,” I started. I hadn’t called her “Mommy” in forever.

“Mommy,” I started again, “will you please call me Nancy?” I asked her and did my best curtsey as Kate taught me.

I didn’t know what to expect. Her laughing? A slap on my face? I didn’t expect her to give me a great big hug and say how she’d be happy to call me Nancy, which is exactly what she did.

“Nancy, are you ready to go home?” my mom asked.

“Yes, Mommy,” I answered.

“Goodbye, Kate,” I said and hugged her.

“Goodbye, Mrs. P.,” I said and hugged her.

Mrs. P. hugged me tight and patted my pantied bottom.

“Do you want to take home Kate’s old dresses?” she asked me as she let me go.

“I guess so,” I answered, thinking it was more of the punishment.

“Looks like you’ve got a little sissy on your hands, Elizabeth,” she said.

“I guess I do,” my mom said.

Having seen how much I looked like a toddler girl, I wasn’t nearly as self-conscious about walking home from Kate’s house back to mine as I’d been leaving my house in a dress. I put the box of clothes in my room and tried to ignore my brother’s jibes and teasing. That night I got into my regular underwear and pajamas and mom took away the girl's clothes I’d been wearing.

The next day I got up thinking that the punishment of the day before was over and I got into my regular clothes. Mom didn’t say anything at breakfast and I thought I was in the clear. Another boring day at school and a few winks from Kate when I saw her in the hall. Winks that I ignored.

I got home and waiting for me on my bed that day was the cardboard box with the dress from the day before along with the panties and the socks that I’d had to wear folded neatly inside. My mom, who I’d said “hi” to, hadn’t said anything to me about continuing my punishment. I could have ignored the box and gone about my day figuring that if my mom wanted more punishment she could make me do it again. Instead, I thought of myself wearing the dress again and my heart began to flutter in my chest.

Without a moment of hesitation, I began digging in the box to see what I could find. The most amazing find was a pair of panties that were plastic on the outside with thick padding on the inside. I found a white, long sleeve turtleneck, a light blue skirt that seemed to have suspenders attached, and a bunch of socks like the ones I’d worn the day before. I debated with myself and finally decided that I’d continue my punishment myself.

I took off my clothes and put on the camisole, the shirt and then I tried to figure out the skirt. I thought I’d managed to get it the way it was supposed to look. I’d seen girls at school wearing similar skirts while at my school. I saw many pairs of panties in the box. Some of which I wanted to try, but the padded, plastic panties fascinated me and I really wanted to try them on, so I did. They felt weird between my legs, but I finished by putting on the socks.

There was nothing else to put on. I had no idea how I looked. My heart started beating faster as I left my room. I was so afraid that my mom would blow her top when she saw I’d put myself in the girl’s clothes, but I figured that I could pretend that I thought the punishment was ongoing.

My feet practically carried me by themselves into the living room and into my mom’s line of vision. My face was burning and I looked up and saw my mom was grinning with the biggest smile I’d seen since my dad had left. She called me over and adjusted the straps on the skirt thing I was wearing.

“Have you finished your homework, Nancy?” my mom asked, stressing the way she pronounced “Nancy”.

“Not yet, Mommy,” I told her.

“Okay, young lady, you best go do it,” she ordered, smiling at me and she playfully slapped my bottom as I turned to go.

“Nancy,” she stopped me.

“Yes, Mommy,” I looked back at her.

She came over and lifted my skirt to see my panties. I was only a little embarrassed as she felt them while I stood meekly looking at her.

“I see,” she said, “that you picked training panties. Do I need to start checking you, Nancy?”

“I guess,” I answered her, not having any idea what she was talking about.

I was shocked when she pulled on one of the leg holes and stuck her fingers into the panties.

“Still dry, I see,” she said in a sweet, sing-song voice.

Of course I was dry. I couldn’t figure out what Mommy was going on about. I went off to do my homework and as I was doing it, she came in and put a baby bottle, full of juice, on the table where I was doing homework. My face flushed red as I wondered if this was a continuation of the punishment.

“Are you still dry, Nancy?” she asked me.

“Yes, Mommy,” I answered, half thinking she meant thirsty.

Once again she stuck her fingers into my panties.

“Okay,” she said, “you let Mommy know if you think you have to make peepee.”

“Okay,” I agreed, my face burning.

“Do you need me to give you your bottle?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. I figured I could reach it from where she put it, that is, if I even wanted to drink from a baby bottle.
She picked up the bottle and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. She tilted me back and stuck the nipple to my lips. I finally got what she had meant. I parted my lips, the nipple went in my mouth, and I began drinking like a baby. I tried to stop but she held me and told me I had to finish it. I thought it was taking forever, but I heard the sucking sound increase as I got the last drops out of the bottle.
“That’s my baby girl,” my Mommy said to me and I felt myself warming on the inside.

Just before dinner that night, I went up to Mommy and told her that I had to go “peepee”.

She smiled at me.

“Do you want to use the potty, like a big girl, or do you want to try your training panties?” she asked me.

“Uh,” I stammered, “the potty? I think?”

I could tell by the look on her face that I’d made the wrong choice. She took me by the hand and led me to the bathroom. She pulled down my panties and “helped” me onto the potty and then she knelt down and stared at me.

“I can’t go,” I finally told her.

I couldn’t do anything with her watching me even though I really had to go badly.

“Okay,” she said, “but it will be at least an hour before we try again.”

She pulled my panties up and we went off to eat our dinner. I couldn’t even finish eating before the strain on my bladder was desperate. I looked at the clock and in another twenty minutes I’d be able to try to use the potty again but even as I thought that, I felt myself peeing. I managed, somehow, to cut off the flow but in another five minutes, I had to release more pee into my panties.

“Mommy,” I finally said, once the clock said I could, “I need to use the potty.”

“Okay,” she said, taking my hand.

In the bathroom she once again pulled my panties down.

“What do we have here?” she asked me looking at the wet padding of the panty. “Did you have an accident, Nancy?”

“Yes,” I admitted, the wet proof now down around my ankles.

I began to cry as I couldn’t hold it any longer and started to pee before Mommy had even put me on the potty. She lifted me up and sat me down and finally, the pee went into the potty. My legs were dripping and I’d left a puddle on the floor. I continued to cry in shame as Mommy hummed while she cleaned up the mess I’d made.

Mommy began to run a bath and when it was full, she took off my clothes. For the first time, in as long as I could remember, Mommy gave me a bath. She actually took time to wash my hair and then, gently, the rest of me. I was dried off and she wrapped the towel around me above my nipples as if I needed to hide them from my brothers.

The box didn’t hold any more of the plastic panties. My mom gave me some white panties and put me in one of Kate’s old nightgowns. I went to bed as Nancy.

The next day, when I got home from school, Mommy was waiting. She led me to my room and without asking, started undressing me. When I was naked, she picked me up and laid me down on my bed. I wasn’t sure what was going on as she grabbed some white material and grabbed me by my ankles. She pushed back on my legs until my bottom was up off of the bed and spread the fabric under me.

I waited, wondering what was happening, as she took a white bottle and once again raised my bottom by pushing on my legs. I felt something soft hitting my bottom and sliding down my back a bit. It was the smell that I recognized. It was baby powder and she began spreading it on my bottom and over my front as well. She went as high as my nipples and even then I was confused.

She spread my legs and pulled the material up between them and I began to flush with fear and shame. My worst suspicion was confirmed when Mommy produced a thick tipped diaper pin and pinned one side of what I now knew was a diaper onto my body.
“Diapers?” I croaked out a question from my bone dry throat.

“Yes, Nancy,” my mommy said as she smiled at me. “You smell so good and I’m sure you’ll look adorable.”

She finished pinning me in the diaper and produced a huge pair of practically transparent, white plastic panties that allowed anyone to see I wore a baby diaper. I began to cry as she pulled them up my legs. The plastic panties were tight, but she pulled them up over my belly button and tucked them in at my legs.

Mommy had put me back in diapers and plastic baby panties. She sat me up and I felt the full bulk of the diaper between my legs. They were so thick! I stood with my legs slightly apart and looked down at the diaper and baby panties that puffed out all around me.

My tears dried up when I saw the dress in Mommy’s hands. It was a yellow and brown plaid pattern and while it had a white collar, it had no sleeves and looked a lot like a plain cone of cloth. I would learn later that my new dress was actually a maternity top that my mom had saved. I gulped looking at it. I slowly raised my hands and the simple dress went over my head. Mommy buttoned it up in the back. I could tell from the touch of my new dress that it didn’t even reach down far enough to cover the diaper I was wearing. I meekly let Mommy put ankle socks on my feet.

“You start your homework, little lady,” she told me.

As I did, she began to fix my hair. I somehow knew I’d be in pigtails again.

“One last thing,” she said, and I looked up to see her snap a pink pacifier on a strap to the front of my dress.

“Well?” she asked.

Instinctively, I reached out and grabbed the pacifier and moved it to my mouth.

“Go on,” Mommy whispered. “You might as well get used to it.”

It was somehow worse that Mommy was making me do it myself and I slowly opened my mouth and pushed the rubber nipple past my lips. I began to suck on it just like a baby and Mommy hugged me and called me her “good, little princess”.

My hair done, my mommy left me to go make dinner. I kept sucking on the pacifier thinking that Mommy might come in at any time and catch me not using it. I felt the need to go pee and I went and found Mommy in the kitchen.

“I need to go pee,” I told her, feeling like a little kid.

“Okay,” she said, “go ahead and we’ll see if your diapers are going to leak.”

“I can’t use the potty?” I asked her, bewildered.

“Babies don’t use potties, Honey,” she informed me. “You need to get used to using your diapers.”

I turned to go back to my room.

“No, Nancy,” my mommy instructed, “do it right here.”

I felt my face burning and I began to cry as I tried to go pee. I just couldn’t do it.

“Close your eyes,” Mommy whispered and she put her arm on my shoulder. “Pretend you are in front of the potty and go just like that.”

I held the diaper like I was holding my peepee and with my eyes closed, I relaxed. The next thing I knew, I felt myself peeing.

“Oh, good girl,” Mommy whispered.

I felt the warmth of my pee go all along my front and down between my legs and slowly it began to warm my bottom. It was easy to keep going once I’d started.

“I’m all done,” I told my Mommy.

She touched the font of the diapers and told me I had done really well and then she gave me a candy and told me to go play until dinner.
“Um,” I started, “what about…” and I stopped because I didn’t know how to finish.

“Your bottle?” Mommy finished for me.

I wasn’t asking for a bottle. What did I want to ask for a diaper change? If I did, would Mommy think I wanted to keep in diapers? Panties? I didn’t know what to say and eventually I stammered a “yes” and I went back to my room.

Mommy might be mad if I didn’t drink the bottle. I sat down on the floor, pushing the wet diaper against my bottom as I did. Parts of it had become cold, but it also rubbed against my peepee and as it did, I felt an odd sensation. I discovered that if I slid my bottom back and forth, the feeling of the wet diaper rubbing on my peepee felt really nice. The next thing I know, I’m sliding back and forth and I’m drinking from the bottle when I start thinking of Kate seeing me diapered and acting like a baby girl. Instantly, I was hit with this tremendous wave of absolute pleasure that burst from my peepee and took over my body. Wave after wave of pleasure hit me as I drooled the milk I had in my mouth all over myself.

I don’t know how long I laid on my floor. Somehow I'd started sucking on my pacifier. I was in a state of almost bliss when Mommy came in and told me it was time for supper. In the kitchen, there was the addition of a baby’s high chair at the table and I knew it was there for me.
My brothers giggled and as Mommy snapped the tray of the high chair, essentially locking me in, they asked her if I was now a baby girl.

“Yes,” she told them, the joy clear in her voice. “This morning she came into my room and begged me to put her back in diapers and treat her like a baby girl. And if either of you tease or pick on her or don’t treat her right, you might find yourselves as baby girls too. Do you understand?”

Mommy had lied to my brothers. I never told her that I wanted to be a baby girl but I could tell that something about putting me in a dress had made her happier than anytime since my daddy had left us. This wasn’t a punishment anymore to her. I was going to be my mommy’s baby girl.

I began to cry and Mommy said that I must be hungry and she tied a baby bib around my neck. My brothers grinned and Mommy began to feed me while they ate like big boys. I finished after the boys and Mommy kept me in the high chair. She gave me another baby bottle to drink and I began to suck on it while I watched her from the high chair as she cleaned the kitchen.

I almost told Mommy when I felt the urge to pee come over me. Instead of telling her, because I already knew she’d just make me go in my diapers, I decided I would just go. It was so much easier to start. I felt a little shocked at just how easy it was for me to pee myself. In no time I had soaked my diapers like a little baby.

My diapers were so soaked that they almost slipped down my legs when Mommy got me out of the high chair. To my shame, she giggled seeing how soaked I was.

“Did you go potty in your diapers?” she asked me.

“Yes, Mommy,” I dutifully answered her.

She gave me another piece of candy and took me up to my bedroom. She laid a pad on my bed and laid me down on top of it. Off came my plastic panties and the soaked diapers and she began to coo at me. My face burned at this treatment, but she began to rub oil on my diaper area and it felt so good. The dry diapers, more this time as Mommy said I’d be in them all night, were pinned on and a new pair of plastic panties went on over them. I was put back in Kate’s old nighty and given my pacifier.

I went to school, as a boy, just like always. I could still smell the baby powder on me as I sat in class. I’d woken up during the night and when I remembered that I was wearing diapers, I peed myself. Mommy had been so pleased to see me wet in the morning. I got another candy. I ate it while Mommy dressed me. She had different pants for me. They didn’t have any pockets and there wasn’t a zipper. She just pulled them up and told me I’d have to sit down to go pee.

As soon as I came through the door after school Mommy laid me down on a pad that was on our living room floor and put me in my diapers. To my surprise she put me in one of Kate’s old dresses from the cardboard box. It was just a regular girl’s dress and before I knew it, she was taking me out the door. I was so upset that I found myself asking my mommy for my pacifier.

“I’m sorry, baby,” she told me, “Mommy left your dummy at home. If you’re a good girl today, Mommy will let you pick out a new one, okay?”
“Okay, Mommy,” I told her, still upset.

“I have an idea,” Mommy said. “You could suck your thumb.”

At first, I didn’t want to do it, but Mommy kept on me until I was sucking it like a little baby. It was so much easier to keep sucking my thumb than having Mommy upset with me, that I kept doing it even as we pulled up to the hair salon. I thought Mommy was going to get her hair done right up until the time she put me in the chair.

“Can you cut her bangs and even up the rest so she looks good when I put her in pigtails?” Mommy asked the woman stylist.

Mommy left me and I watched my hair dropping down as the woman wet, cut, and shaped my hair. She eventually finished and allowed me to look in the mirror. She had curled my hair into large sausage curls and I looked more like a little girl than I ever had before. If I hadn’t known it was me in the mirror, I would have found the girl there very pretty. Only it was me and I was going to have to go to school on Monday with this haircut. I didn’t cry. I wanted to cry, but I knew Mommy would be happy and I wanted to please her. I did, however, force myself to soak my diaper by peeing myself.

Mommy picked me up and our next stop was to a department store in town. She took my hand and led me to the section of the store that was for babies. Mommy showed me the pacifiers (along with all of the other infant items) and allowed me to pick out a new dummy. I found a yellow one. I didn’t really care. I just wanted to get out of the baby aisle.

Mommy didn’t. Instead, she decided to pick up a few things. Baby things, which I knew were meant for me. She grabbed a pink strap that was about six inches long and explained to me that it was used to clip onto my dress and not let my binkie hit the floor if I dropped it out of my mouth. She thought I needed two of those. A package of baby bottles, extra nipples, and a slew of other baby items - mostly baby girl items - went into our cart and then she handed me a pink baby rattle that actually had the word “baby” printed on it and had me shake it.

“Isn’t that fun?” she asked me.

“Uh, I guess so,” I told her.

“You can play with it,” she basically commanded me.

At the end of the aisle I saw, for a split second, Tina Murphy walking by with her mother. They didn’t come in the aisle but I had recognized her and she had looked right at me. A few moments later Mommy finished putting baby things in the cart.

Tina Murphy was the biggest girl in school and I was the smallest boy. When other people would pick on her for being “fat” or saying she was “ugly” she would take it out on anyone she felt she could bully and I had been one of her targets. Many times, in school, she had twisted my arm behind my back and made me say “Auntie”, which was her version of “Uncle”.

“Take a hold of my skirt, Sweetie,” she told me, as she began to push the cart. I felt like such a toddler, holding Mommy’s skirt and trailing behind her. I saw we were going into the girl’s clothes section of the store. My heart began beating really fast and my mouth went dry because I knew that the only reason we were going there was to buy clothes for me.

“Hi,” I heard from behind me.

I turned to see Tina Murphy. She had come to find me in the store.

“Hello,” I greeted her. I hadn’t thought about trying to make myself sound like a girl.

“Oh my God!” she exclaimed while giggling. “It is you! You’re wearing a dress!”

“Yeah,” I agreed meekly. There wasn’t any reason to deny that I was in a dress. It was obvious.

“Who is your friend, Dear?” Mommy asked me.

“This is Tina Murphy,” I answered. “She is in my class at school.”

I was so ashamed. I would never live this down and I knew that everyone would know by Monday that she’d seen me wearing a dress at the store. I didn’t think I could be any more humiliating but the next moment I was proven wrong. With Tina standing right in front of me, Mommy lifted my dress and proceeded to check my diapers.

“Well, you’re a little wet,” Mommy announced, “but I think we can wait for a bit to change your diaper.”

I was frozen. My eyes were locked on Tina’s face and I saw her eyes widen when she recognized I wore a diaper under my dress. She burst into laughter as Mommy stuck her fingers past the elastic of the plastic panties and proclaimed to the biggest gossip in school that I had peed myself. The next thing I know, Tina has stopped talking to me and begins talking to Mommy.

“What’s your baby’s name?” Tina asks her.

“She likes to be called Nancy,” Mommy told her. She said it like it was something I wanted.

“I do babysitting,” Tina offered. “Even little babies. I know how to properly prepare bottles and feedings. I’ve taken CPR and First Aid. I can give babies baths,” she said looking me in my face grinning, “and change both disposable and cloth diapers!”

I felt my stomach fall and I silently prayed that Mommy would turn down her offer. We were in the same class! I couldn’t have a girl I saw every day in school babysit me!

“Really?” Mommy asked. “That is so nice! I hadn’t thought about needing a babysitter before!”

Mommy gave Tina a pen and a bit of paper to get her phone number so that when she needed me to be babysat, she could use her to take care of me. I had tried to be strong, but the thought of Tina changing my diapers was too much. I felt the tears building in my eyes and I let out a sob.

Tina was next to me in seconds and she slipped her arms around me and began softly patting my back as she hugged me and started saying “There, there,” softly in my ear.

“I won’t tell anyone at school what a sissy baby girl you are,” she whispered in my ear, “but you’re going to have to do something for me.”

“Okay,” I sniffled, “anything.”

“Starting now, you’re my girlfriend,” she told me. “Got it?”

“Yes,” I agreed, and reached to hug her to keep from dropping to the floor.

“I’ve got to go find my mom,” Tina told Mommy and she kissed my cheek and ran off.

Mommy took me to the toddler girl’s section and told me I was small enough that we would probably find something there that I’d be able to wear. Out of six dresses she selected, two of them fit me. They were both very girly and very babyish but my mind was on the fact that I was Tina’s girlfriend and she might actually babysit me one day. Then, as Mommy put back the dresses that hadn’t fit, I saw it. The dress! It looked like Sally from the Dick and Jane books had just stepped out of it and hung it on the rack. I was enthralled and Mommy noticed.
“If you’d like,” she told me, “I’ll get a pattern and make you a dress just like that one.”

I could have denied my desire - told my Mommy “no”.

“Oh, yes, Mommy!” I exclaimed. “Please? With matching panties?”

“Of course with matching panties,” she smiled. “Do you want me to put plastic inside the panties so you can wear them with your diapers?”

“Am I going to be in my diapers for a while?” I asked.

“Yes, Nancy,” she told me, “you are.”

“Yes, Mommy,” I told her, “plastic panties.”

I began sucking my thumb right in the store for everyone to see what a sissy baby girl I'd become.