Something Feels Strange…

"There are some real side benefits to this new job," I admit.

"Such as?" she asks.

"I'm learning all the secret girl tricks for fooling and influencing guys," I smile. "I won't be such a push over when I return to being me. You won't be able to play those tricks on me anymore."

"Don't be so sure about that," she says while giving me sad puppy-dog eyes.

I hate it when she does that!

Chapter 16: Dealing with Boys

I'm a little late making it to the park where Helen and I are to start our run. I got lost a couple of times trying to find my way around town. I find that Helen has already been doing her stretching exercises while she has been waiting.

"So, Kris," she asks while we both stretch, "how far do you want to go today?"

"How about eight to ten miles if it's not too hilly?" I ask.

"Sounds like the coastal trail would be best then," she replies. "We can go up to ten miles each way and it's reasonably flat. We'll just turn around whenever you're ready."

We take off down the trail at an easy pace.

"So," she asks, "are you related to the Major? He seems to be taking a special interest in you, Princess, and you look like you could be family."

Remembering the lame cover story that Laurie gave Ashley, I reply, "Actually I'm good friends with his niece and I was invited to join them on their vacation. I'm not sure how he came up with the 'Princess' name."

"Humph," she grunts unbelieving. "The Major doesn't give me time off to work out with just any visiting girl."

Okay, this is not working. What can I say? I say the only true thing that comes to mind. "Would you believe me if I told you that I can't tell you?" I ask. Heck, that line works on me.

It turns out the line also works on Helen. She changes the subject.

After hitting the coast about a mile from the cars, we turn southwest and pick up the pace. It's a beautiful day with moderate temperatures and the trail is relatively flat as it follows the coast. We have to watch out for other runners, walkers and cyclists on the paved trail.

Slowly, we continue to increase the pace, trying to find a comfortable limit for the two of us. I'm still a little awkward, particularly over the first few miles. My bouncing breasts and swishing hair are the hardest things to get used to. I can tell that Helen is keeping a close eye on me. I think she's afraid that I'll wimp out on her and we'll have to cut the run short. As the minutes tick by and my running becomes smoother, I can see her concern noticeably decrease. We do have to stop once to wait for a large moose with a calf to move away from the trail.

We maintain a light conversation as we run. She tells me more about the local area and fun things about being in the Army. (Really–she likes being in the Army!) She asks if I've registered for the race yet. I told her that I'm waiting to see how I do on the run today before I decide which version of the race that I want to run.

After turning at the five mile mark, she asks if we can pick up the pace some more.  So far, we've kept a comfortable talking pace, now it's serious business. I'm curious to find out if I can keep up with her. It turns out that I can't, so she lets me set the pace. I'm pleasantly surprised that I can sustain a six and a half minute per mile pace for at least a couple of miles before having to slow down. I was able to do better than that as a guy, but it's a respectable training pace for a high school girl. I suspect that I can knock that down another fifteen seconds per mile in a 10k race. I need to remember to thank the Wizards–if I ever actually meet them–for giving me this machine for a body.

By the time we get back to the cars, both us are pretty pleased with our run. I'm sure I could have gone further.

It seems that I passed the test because Helen invites me to join their relay team on Saturday. It turns out that they are scrambling to find a replacement for one runner from their team who got injured last week. I'm flattered with the invitation and accept.  Helen tells me how to register online then we agree to meet at the same time and same place again tomorrow.

---< >---

On my return to the house, I find everyone is up and about ready to hit the road. After a quick shower, I decide to wear my new clothes from REI so I end up in my new cargo pants and the pullover top with the long sleeves and hood. I think that I look pretty good but ask Laurie to supervise the hair and makeup session. She points out that my nail polish is wearing a bit and is the wrong color but we don't have much time just then to do anything about it.  She pops some nail polish and related supplies into my purse to take along. I think about wearing the heart pendant that Marla got me that first night, but think that the running shoe charm looks better with the outdoor clothes, plus I really like it. Looking in the mirror, I think that I could really do with some new earrings and decide to buy some the next time we go shopping.

After I register for the race, we load a picnic lunch and some light coats–provided by the Jeffers–into Aunt Jen's rented SUV then head south.  It doesn't take long to leave the city behind and we take a road sandwiched between the ocean inlet and the mountains.  It's spectacular. Eventually we find ourselves high up a mountain pass where we stop for our picnic lunch and a little hiking.

On the way back to the city, we stop at a U.S. Forest Service visitor's center; it's by a local glacier. Unfortunately the glacier has retreated around the corner of a mountain and is out of sight. You have to take a tour boat on the terminal lake to go find it, which we decide to do. The breeze off the lake coming from the glacier is cool and we're grateful for the coats that the Jeffers brought along.

There are several tourist groups and a few families that have the same idea. As we're waiting by the dock for the Major to purchase the tickets, I become aware of a group of three teenage boys who appear to be watching us.

"Ah, Laurie," I whisper to her, "I think those boys over there are watching us. What can we do to get them to go find something else to look at?"

She grins mischievously and asks, "And why would you want them to look somewhere else? The tall one's pretty cute."

"It's so creepy having their eyes follow us around," I state.

"So?" she says. "It seems to me that my boyfriend Chris likes to watch girls too. Am I right?"

She has me there. Even though we're an item, I, like any other boy, am distracted by any good looking girl that comes along.

"Well," I complain, "it just seems sooo strange being the watched instead of the watcher."

"That's because you don't know how to play the game from this side," she replies still grinning. "It's another of the girl lessons I have to teach you. First of all, you must decide what you'd like to happen. Do you want to talk with them? Do you want them to go away? Do you want to kiss them? Whatever it is, your next move depends on what you'd like to happen."

"How about the one about having them go away?" I suggest.

"That's no fun," she pouts. "All you have to do to get rid of them is just totally ignore them as if they don't exist. Don't make eye contact under any circumstances. Also, hang around a parent. Parents are the best pest repellant of all.

"However, what I–your teacher–think you need is to experience a little flirting," she declares. "Turn on the recording feature on your cell phone and we'll make this a training exercise."

"Look," I tell her as I reach into a cargo pocket to unobtrusively push the required buttons on the side of my smart cell phone, "I was never any good at flirting as a guy, why should I learn it now as a girl? Particularly when I'm not interested in striking up a relationship with these guys. That would be too weird. I already have a girlfriend and I'm not into guys."

"My boyfriend the lesbian," she rolls her eyes. "Your profile has you being a normal heterosexual tomboy girl. You'll need to be that to work yourself into the confidences of the kids we need to work with this summer. Regardless of which way you go, you need to learn how to interact with guys as a girl.  This is a good time to start practicing, particularly since these guys will be gone in an hour. Okay, we'll keep this simple. Only light flirting, just a nice it's-good-to-meet-you kind of interaction. Step number one is to look at them and smile. Either they will run for the hills or they will come to meet us. Remember, you are in control here, they are the nervous ones. It's kind of like fishing."

Some control. I'm the nervous one–much more than the boys ever thought of being. Being the hunted is much different from being the hunter.  The hunter, after all, can bail out from the operation anytime he decides that he's had enough fun. Not so for the hunted–the hunted have to find a way to escape from something that they never wanted in the first place.

Laurie shows me how it's done and I give it my best shot. I pretty sure that my smile is seen as being fake.

The reaction is interesting. One of the boys turns white and looks as if he'll run for it, the other two look pretty pleased and start heading our way, dragging the reluctant one with them.

"See," Laurie giggles as she whispers to me, "just like I said. We've hooked three fish with two smiles."

"Now that we have them, what do we do with them?" I ask nervously.

"We just play with them a little. Follow my lead," she tells me.

Just before the boys get to us, the Major comes over to give us our tickets and herd us onto the boat. Saved! But not for long.

It doesn't take too long for the three lads to find us on the tour boat.

The tall one opens the conversation, "Hi, are you girls from around here?" he asks.

"No, just visiting my relatives," Laurie replies. "How about you?"

"Joey here is from Anchorage," the tall one says pointing at the deathly white one, "My little brother, Kyle, and I are visiting from Michigan. My name is Alex."

"I'm Laurie," she says happily, "and my best friend here is Kristina. We're from California."

"Oh, I thought you were sisters," says Kyle. "You look a lot alike."

"We get that a lot," Laurie replies looking at me with a look that implies that I should join the conversation.

"I guess that we're close enough that we could be," is the best that I can come up with.

"Well, it's a good thing that you two are from different families," says Alex. "It would be unfair to the rest of the world to have all the beauty tied up in just one family."

Laurie blushes and giggles. I feel like gagging. That line was just too cheesy. What's next? Is he going to try showing off his biceps or start beating on his chest? We don't have to wait long to find out.

"You two look like you're cold," Kyle observes. "If you want to warm up, we can cuddle on that seat over there out of the wind. I think that there's room in our coats for the two of you."

How considerate! Not. That line is too much, even for Laurie.

"Thanks for the offer," Laurie politely says, "but my uncle has extra coats for us."

Looking over the rail, I suggest, "You can take your coat and cuddle with one of the little icebergs bobbing around in the lake. They look cold."

Laurie jabs me in the ribs with her elbow and glares at me. "Don't mind Tina. She is having a bad day. Are you guys in town for long?" she asks them sweetly, trying to repair the damage.

Tina? I guess you can get that out of Kristina, but why is she using that?

"That's okay, Tina," Kyle apologizes, "I guess that line was a bit strong. Sorry about that."

Laurie is trying to give me signals with her eyes. What am I supposed to do now?

"Ah, well, thanks for the offer anyway," I say. Apparently, that isn't quite the right line.

"What Tina is trying to say," Laurie says with a stern look at me, "is that she appreciates that you're looking out for our comfort. That's sweet of you."

"Yea," I lie, "that's what I meant." I want to gag. This verbal sparring seems so lame. Can't Laurie see that these guys are just viewing us as a conquest?

About this point in the introductions, the boys decide Laurie is the more sociable one and strike up a happy conversation with her. They engage in the verbal dance people use to find out the other's intentions. I attempt to keep up with the interchange, trying to figure out what Laurie is up to. You'd think she was scouting for a new boyfriend. This doesn't improve my mood at all.

I finally give up and look over the rail at the lake and snow covered mountains. I find myself standing next to Joey.

"Sorry about that," he apologizes. "My friends can be jerks at times."

"I can see that," I reply icily. Joey seems like a decent sort of guy. Maybe I should cut him some slack.

"So what do you do for fun around here?" I ask with more warmth.

"If you're an outdoors person," he says, "Alaska is heaven. I like doing just about anything outdoors. Mountain hiking is high on my list, then there's kayaking, canoeing, fishing, hunting, four wheelers, skiing, and snow machining. I also like outdoor photography. Alex and Kyle wanted to see a glacier and this is the closest one to town, so I'm playing tour guide today. I think their favorite pastimes are computer games and annoying pretty girls. I can't seem to get them out to do anything active."

Joey seems like an okay guy. I think he'd make a good friend if I were still a guy.

"Have you lived here long?" I ask to be polite.

"Born and raised," he says. "We go Outside–that's an Alaskan term for the rest of the world–once or twice a year to visit relatives and stuff, but otherwise this is home. So how about you? Is California the only place you've lived?"

"Pretty much," I say. "We moved around a lot when I was little, but I don't remember much of that. We've been where we are now for about seven years."

"What do you do for fun in California?" he asks. "You don't look like a mall bunny to me."

"Why do you say that?" I ask.

"Well, you aren't all girly," he observes, "you're fit, and you look comfortable with being outside. And you're easier to talk to than most girls I've met."

"I'll take that as a compliment," I say, "And as far as what I do in California, I hang out with my friends, go hiking and camping when I can. I do a little fishing, but have never been hunting. I like messing with canoes and small sailboats too, but my favorite thing in the world is distance running."

"That must be why you wear the running shoe around your neck," he observes.

I look at him strangely.

"Sorry, Tina, that came out wrong," he blushes furiously. He looks cute when he is flustered. "I meant your necklace. It has a running shoe charm on it."

We continue our conversation until the boat takes us past the glacier and the tour guide spouts all sorts of interesting facts. Joey is fun to talk to–kind of like some of my guy friends at home. Laurie and the other two boys join us on the ride back to the visitor's center. Alex and Kyle seem to have dropped their cool guy facade, to some extent, and tell us all about life in Michigan. Joey is right, they don't get out of the house much.

The Michigan lads ask if we can get together again before we leave, but we tell them we're pretty booked for the rest of the week. Somehow, we mention the race on Saturday and Joey asks which leg of the relay I'm running. I don't know and tell him so.

As Laurie and I walk back to the car behind the adults, I have several questions I'd like to ask. What comes out is: "Tina? Why Tina?"

Laurie blushes and looks nervous, "Well, I thought if I called you Tina, it would be easier for me to flirt with the guys to show you how it's done.  I tried to block out of my mind that you're Chris–my boyfriend–and view you as Tina my girl friend. It just felt too awkward calling you Kris and flirting with another guy with you standing there. Kris is just too close to Chris. Do you mind?"

"In other words, you were trying to pretend I'm not your boyfriend in disguise and calling me 'Tina' helps you do that," I reflect. "I'll have to think about 'Tina'. Watching you toy with another guy in front of me hurts. I'd hate to think that's what you do when I'm not around."

"Sorry, Kris," she apologizes, "Really, I don't do that any more. Honest. I was just trying to show you how it's done."

"Okay," I say reluctantly, "but why on earth did you fall for those cheesy lines? I wanted to gag."

"I knew they were cheesy," she says, "but a girl likes to be flattered sometimes and it's so much fun watching boys make fools of themselves. Why d'you think we giggle so much around guys? When you slam the door on them like you did, that only kills any chance of getting to know them. You have to survive the cheese to get to the real person. Sometimes it takes a while and, even then, it's just part of the game. Look at your parents. They are cheesy to each other all the time. I think it's so cute and it shows that they really love each other. You could learn from them."

Well, that's a none too gentle hint. I'll have to remember to get cheesy with her when I get back to being me.

"Your problem back there," she continues, "is that you were thinking like a guy again. Try thinking like a girl who likes someone to notice her. Your responses would've been different if you did. You would view the cheesy as a sign that someone thinks you're worth talking to."

"From my guy perspective," I reply, "I see it as a guy just trying to get something that the girl probably shouldn't be giving away. It makes me sick. Don't you understand that Alex and Kyle were just trying to score some points with their guy friends. If they could have gotten to kiss us, or, gag, gotten to cuddle with us they would've spread it all over town about how cool they are. Their main goal was to see how far they could go with us in a short time. Haven't you ever seen the movie Top Gun where Maverick and Goose make the bet about scoring with a girl when they go in the bar? They're not interested in the girl or her feelings, just how far they can go with her. That's what those jerks were trying to do–they just wanted to satisfy their hormonal urges. I've never really understood how you girls can fall for such Neanderthal jerks and the lines they feed you. Believe it or not, they don't often have your best interests in mind."

"Believe it or not, my boyfriend in a girl package, girls are often looking for the same thing the guys are," she points out. "Girls have hormones and get sexually excited too you know. You might just find out what it's like if all those female hormones in your current body ever influence you. We don't often show our desire as openly as guys do because the consequences of sexual activity have greater impact on girls than boys, both physically and socially."

I'd never really thought about girls being as sexually motivated as guys. That only seems to happen in movies. I find it rather creepy thinking I could be aroused by a guy while in this body. I just can't see that happening. What I can see is where my male perspective might come in useful in this female package. I'll understand the intentions and motivations of guys better than any other girl around. I won't fall for the cheesy lines. I don't think Laurie was completely immune from the charms of those two egotistical Neanderthals. With my male understanding, I'll be inoculated against the fake male charms.

Changing gears slightly, she observes, "Well, you seemed to find a boy to talk to."

"Joey's a nice guy," I defend. "Talking with him was like hanging out with one of my male friends. He wasn't trying to impress me with cheese, he was just a good guy. None of this sexual tension stuff."

"At least not on your side," she says.

"What do you mean by that," I demand.

"I'll bet Joey won't be able to stop thinking about you for a long time," she tells me. "Didn't you notice how he hung on your every word? I bet he's thinking that he's just found the most amazing girl in the world–one that he can relate to and he is kicking himself thinking he let you get away."

"You have to be kidding," I exclaim.

"I'm not," she replies. "We can listen to the recording and you'll see what I mean. As far as I can tell, good boys–you included–fall for nice girls who appear not to be playing games, even if they are. Remember the picture he had taken of our little group by Uncle Bill? Joey also took a couple more of just you from across the boat with his zoom lens while you were looking at the glacier. I bet one of them'll be his computer desktop and the rest will be in his screen saver by tonight. Remember he promised to email us the group image?  I bet you hear from him more than once. You shouldn't have given him your email address. You've gotten your first admirer."

"But we're just friends," I mutter.

"Yeah," she smiles, "get used to it, when you're a girl, it's hard to be 'just friends' with any guy you didn't grow up with. They all get the wrong idea. If you want to flirt with a guy though, don't worry, I won't get jealous. I know Chris'll be back at the end of the summer and, somehow, I don't see Tina stealing my Chris from me."

---< >---

Gabi has again done much to make this a more enjoyable reading experience.  Thanks again, my friend.

---< >---

On another note, I always feel cheated when an author leaves a story unfinished, even if I can understand the reasons why. Now I will be the offender.

This story was never meant to go this far and it has taken on a life of its own. Indeed I would love nothing more than to immerse myself in it until it is done. I enjoy learning of Chris/Kris/Tina's adventure as the words flow from my finger tips just as much as many of you seem to enjoy reading them.  Alas, this is not the only thing in my life. Life's pressures of work, family, volunteer commitments, a university class that I am taking, and more cannot be put on the shelf so that I can finish this in a timely fashion. 

An old song, "Think I'll Write a Song", by Helen Reddy describes my situation pretty well.

As I work in education, I do get large time blocks that I can devote to special projects.  I fully intend on using this time for working on this project until it reaches a good conclusion, but in the mean time, this will be the last chapter for at least a few months.

Sorry... This hurts me too.  Please be patient and support all the other more experienced and fantastic writers that entertain us on this site.

Thanks to all of you for your wonderful support.

I'll be back!

- Tiff