Whatever Next? Chapter 10 by Angharad Copyright© 2022 Angharad

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(title picture Andrea Piacquadio)

“Have you decided if you’re returning to Dorset?” asked Josie.

“I can’t stay around here Gran, not if I’m turning into a girl.” Drew was busy doing ‘X’s on the material.

“Why ever not?” she asked watching how he used the needle and thread.

“They’ll all know it’s me and I’ll end up dead in a ditch by the end of the week.” Drew had his tongue slightly poking out of his mouth. Josie had noticed he did it when he’d drawn pictures as a child. So it was probably a concentration thing, a sort of anchor to let his body and mind know he needed to concentrate for the next few minutes.

“Don’t be silly dear, why should that happen?”

“ ‘Cos it would, you don’t know the kids around here.”

“Gaby, I’m sure it would be a nine days' wonder,” she adjusted the way he held the material.

“Yeah, but only ‘cos I’d be dead by then.”

“Why, for goodness sake? It doesn’t make sense and I think you’re exaggerating much too much.”

“Two or three of the boys have the hots for me, that’s why. When they find out they’re chasing another boy, I’m dead.”

“But are they chasing another boy? Maybe it’s not that simple?”

“It’s nice of you to care Gran, but these boys don’t like do sophisticated, so it would be that simple.” Drew pulled his finger across his throat and made a funny gurgling noise.

“Thank you Gaby, I think I get the message. Now let’s get on with the sewing, I have a simple pattern I think you could do, it’s a question of practice.

Drew sighed and counted to ten. He loved his gran, but she could be so thick at times and this sewing business was getting boring, he’d been at it for nearly two hours, like a whole lifetime!

Maddy came through and seeing Drew up to his eyeballs in sewing silks, rolled her eyes and went out again. She emptied his stuff from the tumble drier and took it through to the bedroom, 'he should be doing this for himself not playing with cross stitch!' she thought angrily to herself.

Jules was out, Carol and Jenny were as thick as thieves and busy, Gabs was playing with her gran, which meant Maddy was on her own and bored. She wasn’t going to do all the chores whilst Gaby had fun, it just wasn’t fair! She sat on her bed and pouted, then she decided she’d have a play on the computer, which was in John’s study cum office.

She’d only been on the internet about fifteen minutes when Drew walked through sighing. “She wants to teach me how to sew,” he said rolling his eyes.

“Every girl should know the basics,” said Maddy hardly looking at him.

“I’m not a girl though am I?” sighed Drew with exasperation.

“So you keep saying, like tell it to your body,” she almost hissed at Drew, and continued on the internet.

“Thanks for those few words of comfort,” he said striding out of the room.

“You’re welcome,” said Maddy to an empty space, “Oh, she’s gone ... oh well.”

Drew went to the shared bedroom and found his, or rather Gaby’s, clothing folded neatly on the bed. He called down the stairs, “Thanks Mad.”

“ ‘kay,” was called back from the study.

He began to pack it into his case and overnight bag. Despite the fact that most of his clothes had been cremated and presumably dispersed into the atmosphere during the house fire, he still seemed to have quite a lot and all of them were female’s. He sat on the bed feeling defeated; before he started, in a couple of days they’d be heading south again. He’d promised to contact Harry when he knew what was happening. He’d do that tomorrow.

He thought of his past visits to Dorset and on the whole he’d actually enjoyed himself apart from the maniac after him, and even that had been exciting. Probably the worst bit had been falling into the water and nearly drowning, he still couldn’t remember much about it, so when he went back he was going to find the man who saved him and thank him. Well, he was going to try. So far as he knew the police hadn’t been able to, but then they couldn’t catch a cold, so it didn’t daunt him, rather it gave him a project to work on and he was sure he could bat his eyelids at Harry, and he’d help too.

He thought of Harry, his first ‘boyfriend’ and sniggered. If only he knew he’d go ballistic. After the snigger was over Drew thought more seriously, he’d hate to upset Harry like that, he was too nice and too trusting. He’d also been very generous towards his ‘girlfriend’ and Drew couldn’t forget that either. He did actually like the boy and was sure that if it had been his boy-form which had visited Dorset, he’d have got on really well with Harry.

He was such a nice boy and he was a good kisser too, thought Drew, then realised what he was saying. He’d enjoyed being kissed by a boy, he felt himself blanching and looked around to see if anyone was around who could have witnessed his thoughts, sighed with relief when he saw the room was empty. He had to stop this girly stuff before something major happened and he couldn’t get back to being a boy. This was serious, but the warm feeling he’d felt in his tummy wouldn’t go away.

“Harry is just a friend, nothing more,” he told his brain, but it refused to take away the pleasant sensation. “I love Mad, not a boy,” he told himself, but nothing changed. “Oh shit, what’s happening to me?”

“Why, have you like grown another boob or something?” said Maddy entering the bedroom.

“Nah, I was like thinking about the two I’ve already got,” he said trying to make light of it.

“Didn’t sound like it,” challenged Maddy.

“I can’t help it if you heard something different to what I like, said.” He spoke defensively and she knew she had him cornered again.

“Oh all right, if you say so,” she decided now was not the time to play mind games, she had come up to ask him if he was going to the airport with his mum.

“I feel I oughta, why?”

“ ‘Cos you like always get so upset.”

“I can’t help that, I miss her.”

“I understand Gabs, but is it worth getting upset?”

“I think so, it like shows I love her.”

“Yeah but, it also like gets her upset too.”

“Yeah, I s’pose, so do you think I should stay here?”

“You do what you like, it’s a free country.”

“But, I like dunno what to do.”

“Don’t do anything then.”

“Aw c’mon Mad, I’ve like gotta do something.”

“Well like do something then, you decide. This is like so boring,” she said dismissively and left the bedroom.

Drew felt very alone, he looked around the room and saw ‘Bunny’, his favourite soft toy. In fact since the fire, his only one. He picked up the small, fluffy object and cradled it close to his chest. “What d’you think I should do Bun?”

Jenny found him cradling the rabbit half an hour later. “Hiya kiddo, you okay?”

“Yeah, I was just thinking.”

“Thinking about what sweetheart?” Jenny came and sat with him on the bed.

“Oh ‘bout lotsa things.”

“Such as?” asked his mother putting her arm around him.

“Like if I’m doin’ the right thing, goin’ down to Dorset again.”

“No one is forcing you,” his mother gave him a slight squeeze.

“I like can’t stay here.”

“Gran seemed to think you told her you could be at risk from your friends?”

“Not like my friends, but some of the boys wouldn’t take too kindly to me. They’d call me names an’ worse.”

“I’m sure Mr Woods would help to minimise that.”

“School is only part of it, what about out of school? They’d get me then.”

“And do what?”

“I dunno, beat me up or kill me.”

“Who do you think would do that to you, maybe I should warn Mr Woods.”

“Not sure, could be any of the boys.”

“Because they fancied you?”

Drew blushed and looked away from his mother, “I didn’t do anything, it’s this stupid body of mine.” Jenny felt the tears drip on to her arm.

“I’m sure you didn’t sweetheart, but you are turning into a pretty young woman, so they are going to be interested in you. It’s what boys do.”

“But I’m like not a girl!” sobbed Drew, “Why is this happening to me?”

“I don’t know kiddo, when I get back at the end of the season, we’ll get the doctor to run some tests and find out what is going on.”

“Okay,” sniffed our hero.

“So is that the only reason you want to go back to Dorset?”

“Yeah, think so.”

“You sure it hasn’t got anything to do with a certain young man, called Harry?”

“No, course not.” Drew felt the blush arise in his toes and exit near his scalp.

“It’s just that I think he has a soft spot for you and I suspect you might for him.”

“I’m a boy, Mum,” he said with half hearted indignation.

“You sure weren’t acting like two boys when I last saw you together.”

“Wotcha mean?” asked Drew, trembling.

“Is he a good kisser?”

“Ye...I dunno, how am I supposed to know?”

“It looked like you were doing some research on the subject last time I saw you both together.”

Drew was getting so hot, he was almost sure he could smell smoke. He looked away from his mother.

“So, he thinks I’m a girl. I can’t help it if he’s stupid!”

“I don’t think he’s stupid luv, I think he just likes what he sees as a pretty young woman. I don’t blame him nor do I blame you for responding as one, he’s quite a nice looking boy, you could certainly do worse. He also seems to respect you. These days that’s a real plus.”

“I’m not gay,” said Drew, sniffing.

“I don’t think anyone has accused you of being gay, have they?”

“No, but I thought you or Dad might be thinking it.”

“I’m not and I don’t think your father is either. He’s concerned because we don’t quite know what’s happening to you. But neither of us are judging you. If it feels okay to kiss Harry or to let him kiss you, then it’s okay. Don’t let others judge you, you do what’s comfortable for you, because that’s what is right for you.”

Drew nodded and sniffed.

“Look Gabs, I’ve got to go in a minute, your dad will be here to take me to the airport.”

“An’ you don’t want me to come.” Drew shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m not going to stop you luv, but it might be nice for your dad to see me off by himself once in a while.”

“Okay.”

Drew’s reply took Jenny by surprise. “Oh, well that’s okay then?”

“Yeah, I’ve got packing to do anyway.”

“Oh yes, I see what you mean,” Jenny saw the piles of clothes on the adjacent bed. “Is all this your’s?”

“Fraid so,” said Drew resignedly.

“Goodness, I didn’t realise you had so much stuff.”

“I lost some of it in the fire.”

“Gosh Gabs, you certainly seem to accumulate it, still I suppose a girl can’t have too many clothes.”

“That’s what Mad always says.”

“Well it must be right then. I think I can hear your dad, I’d better go.”

“Okay, call me when you get back.”

“I will sweetheart, or text you, how about that?”

“Yeah, ‘kay.” He put his arm around his mother and squeezed her tightly. “Love you Mum.”

“I love you too Gaby, very much. Be a good girl for your Gran and Auntie Carol.”

“Yeah, ‘kay.”

Jenny rose from the bed, kissed him on the cheek and said, “Goodbye kiddo, be good.”

“Bye, Mummy,” he replied kissing her back, feeling the emptiness as she walked from the room and minutes later got in the car and left his world for several more weeks. He held Bunny to his chest and silently wept.

He had no idea how long he sat in the bedroom in a sort of torpor, lost in his thoughts and oblivious to both time and the affairs of others. He barely noticed Jules come into his room. “Hiya, Gabs, what’s up then?”

“Huh?” he asked.

“Well you seemed deep in thought, what were you thinking about?”

“When we were little and Mum and Dad used to be there and…Oh I dunno, I just felt sad and wanted to be on my own.”

Jules put her arm around her sibling, “Yeah, I know how you feel, Sis, I just missed Mum leaving, the bus was late, an accident or something on the Worksop road. Still only a day or two and you’ll have Harry and I’ll have the lovely John.”

“Yeah, can’t wait,” said Drew not really listening to what she had said.

“Do you want a hand packing?”

“What?” said Drew in astonishment.

“Well you seem to have rather a lot of stuff, and I just thought I could like help you, put some stuff in bags ‘n things.”

“Yeah, yeah okay,” said Drew before she changed her mind. He wondered if her brain was going soft, or maybe she was hoping that the quicker everything was done the sooner she could get back to her ‘precious John’, and him to ‘handsome Harry’. He blushed as these thoughts ran through his mind, maybe his brain was turning to mush along with his body. The latter had generated that ‘warm feeling’ again, down in his tummy. He shook his head and picked up a pile of clothes and began putting them carefully in a bag.