Something Feels Strange…

As we head home, the Major casually drops a bomb, "You haven't been who you are now–physically I mean–for very long have you?"

That comment really came out of left field. I did not see it coming. How do I answer that one?

"I can't figure out how you changed, but you act as if you haven't figured out your body yet," he continues. "If I had to guess, you were probably male not too long ago. I'd like to know how the transformation happened but figure that's classified information. I'm sure that it wasn't SRS. The job is too complete and your mannerisms haven't quite caught up with your body. I understand that with SRS patients, the body is usually the finishing touch."

Well, so much for trying to blend in. I wonder who else has figured this out.

Chapter 14: Busted!

I'm speechless. I knew that I was having trouble adapting, but I reckon I must be doing pretty badly to be unmasked so quickly.

I don't know what to say.  It is pretty obvious that lying won't work, and  anyway I have never been at all good at it.

"I take it from your lack of response," he observes, "that I must've hit pretty close to the mark."

"Yeah," I reply with resignation, "You hit the nail pretty much on the head."

Actually, I am feeling some relief at being found out. At least I am being caught by a good guy, I think. It is like knowing that this is a dress rehearsal. In a rehearsal you are allowed to screw up but you get critique that allows you to pull off the show in front of a real audience. No one would ever just flip through a script then just jump on stage before an audience. Until I get this girl thing down, it is probably best if the people close to me know what is going on so that they can help me learn the score.

Let's face it, I have never, I mean never, ever, made any attempt to act like a girl before yesterday. Not even in jest. The behaviors did not come with the body. I only got half the package in the transformation. The rest will take some time to learn.

Oddly, brain central is almost begging for more girl info to be put into the programming.  Not necessarily because it wants to become a girl forever, but because it wants to become a convincing girl for as long as this charade lasts. Brain central really wants to play the part right and doesn't feel that it has enough information to do that yet. Having always been one who likes things to run smoothly, acting like a boy in a girl's body is not a real option.

"So," I ask, trying to learn, "where did I go wrong? It is pretty important that I get this right."

"Well, let's see," he says. "When I picked you up yesterday all I saw was a girl.  During our tour of the Base and Post and on the way home, something seemed out of place.  The way you sat in the truck looked like it was forced and not quite right. You were trying to act like somebody that you are not. I also felt as if I was chatting with my son. At first I wrote your behavior off as being tomboyish plus not enough acting ability to pull off an undercover assignment. When we got home and you were frosty with Laurie, that seemed genuinely feminine, so I figured that maybe you were just a tomboy.

"Then when I gave you that fatherly advice out on the deck, it seemed to me to be more like a father-son chat.  You related too well to some of the things that I was saying."

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you," I inform him, "that–in my other life–I am an Eagle scout so I could visualize what you were talking about."

"I figured you must have had some scouting experience," he continued. "Then my protection team reported some unlady-like behavior out at the lake today. They also reported that you seemed unaccustomed to the skirt but when you dropped it to wipe the grass off your rear end they became pretty convinced that you are an actual female."

Those guys didn't miss a beat.

"In your favor, the meltdown with the tears came off as being genuinely feminine. As a result of their surveillance, the guys on the team have decided that you are the ultimate tomboy and that there is some conspiracy going on to make you act your gender." he explains. "I'm pretty sure that they haven't put together the transformation idea yet. I am pretty sure Helen knows that something is up. Both of us were surprised at how you started the run.  It reminded me of someone riding a bike with training wheels."

"Your team is right," I state. "This whole thing seems like some big conspiracy to me but I can't go into the details.  And, yes, part of the conspiracy is to make me act more like a girl."

"A point in your favor is that you both were facing the lake during your chat so the team was unable to pick up your conversation," he said. "Not that they were listening too closely since they were trying to detect the bad guys and protective detail is supposed to respect the privacy of those they are protecting. You need to remember to do things like that if you suspect that someone's eavesdropping."

He gives me some more advice on how to be discreet when trying to avoid being overheard.

"I know that this is getting personal," he asks, "but have you ever wanted to be a girl?"

"No," I answer truthfully, "Actually I never gave it a thought before last week. I've been pretty happy being a guy."

"So why are you doing this?" he asks.

"Well, in a way I was conned into it," I reply reflectively, "but this is only temporary and is part of a job that I think will be pretty cool."

"Temporary?" he asks. "You mean that they can transform you back?"

Oops, I think that I just gave away too much information.

"I think I just made a mistake," I say with some alarm. "That is classified information."

Ignoring my retraction, he says thoughtfully, "This process could be extremely useful to my operations. I'll have to talk with Jen about it."

Trying to get him off that idea, I try to continue answering his original question.

"I am viewing this body simply as a disguise or a costume that will allow me to do what my boss needs me to do. It is just part of a summer job. The side benefit is that maybe I can come to understand girls better," I say.

I can tell that he is still thinking about all the possibilities of using the transformation process, but he does come back to the original line of thought.

"Let me know if it works! I've been trying to figure out girls my whole life," he says with a laugh. "Well, our job is to help you get ready for the main performance, so I guess that this is a dress rehearsal. I thought that we'd just have to fill you in on the family background and the locale information, but it appears that there's more to it than that.  That must be why Jen and Laurie came up."

"This is going to be a busy week," I say with a sigh. "Not exactly a vacation."

By the time we reach the house, we have pretty much come to the conclusion that this is a great experience for me, both the job and the transformation. The Major commits to helping me all that he can this week and has a few ideas of his own.

Over dinner, we bring Mom Polly up to speed on the situation. Aunt Jen and I keep the Jeffers and Laurie out of the loop concerning the espionage though I am sure that they know something bad is happening at the Lab to warrant this level of effort. Tom is working at the pool, which is good because we decide to keep him out of the loop concerning my sex change.

Polly says that she suspected something was up but couldn't quite put her finger on it.  She never would have suspected the transformation, but the knowledge of it makes sense out of her observations. Aunt Jen is not particularly happy that they have so easily deduced my transformation, but Bill pointed out that they already knew that something undercover was going on so it wasn't such a large leap. He doubts that anyone else will make the connection. They will just see a strange girl. After all, he points out with a grin, no one really knows what a girl is supposed to be like anyway–they keep changing the rules. This earns him reproving looks from the three natural-born females and a kick in the shins under the table from his wife.

After the dinner mess is cleaned up, we sit in the big living room to discuss the situation.

When I plop myself down on the couch, all three females start to correct me at once. I have to try sitting on the couch in a lady-like fashion about half a dozen times in penance. I am reminded to sit upright. All three seem to have decided that they need to push me hard on girl mannerisms during this training week. I won't be cut any slack.

"What I think your need," Aunt Polly states with enthusiasm, "is to be immersed in all the typical teen girl experiences you can this week, so that they won't be totally new to you when you return to California." She is getting excited. I think that she is looking forward to some girl time after being around the two guys all the time.

She begins making a list, "We need to go check out some chick flicks popular with teen girls so that you will be familiar with what your peers are up on. While the feminine mannerisms and attitudes are distorted in most of them, they do hit close to the mark most of the time."

"I've seen a few with my family and Laurie," I point out. "I've spent a lot of time around girls, you know."

"But," she says, "I doubt that you have looked at them from a girl's perspective so we'll watch a few more." I'm pretty sure that she is looking forward to this more than I am.

Continuing, she says, "We must take you on a girls' shopping trip."

"Ah," I say, "I've been on one of those recently."

"From what you told us, darling," she says patiently, "I don't think that one counts. You were little more than a mannequin and didn't have time to really learn how to shop.  It will be fun," she promises.

Laurie kicks in, "Ashley invited us to go shopping tomorrow afternoon with her friends. I told her that we'd go."

Mom Polly looks disappointed since she knows that the trip is a teen only event.

"I'm sure that we can do more shopping later with you and Aunt Jen," I reassure her.

"I think it's a good idea for you to go on a girl's outing with your peers,” Aunt Jen mentions, “but you'll really need to be more clued up on girl shopping techniques and mannerisms before you do.  Besides you two have more job orientation tomorrow. If you get done early, then maybe we can do our shopping orientation tomorrow afternoon. Laurie, can you get Ashley to put off the trip until later in the week?"

"I'll try, Mom," she replies. "Tom and Ashley were also talking about finding a couple of boys so that we could do a triple date.  I think Kris needs at least one dating experience before we go back to California." She looks at me nervously.

Oh boy. What does this mean? Is she ready to start dating someone else already or is she really just trying to get me some girl experience? I can't imagine her with someone else.  I can't imagine me with someone else. Laurie's suggestion throws me into a mental whirl.

"Kris," she quickly says, "it's not like we're looking for romance. It's just a date–not a commitment. A way to hang out with other kids and have fun. Besides girls are always comparing notes on their dating experiences. If you don't have any experience, you won't have anything to contribute. It would seems very strange for girl as cute as you to have never been on a date. Even tomboys date occasionally."

"Laurie's right," Mom Polly interjects. "It is an experience that a sixteen-year-old girl should have had by now–anyway, at your age, you shouldn't be getting serious." She glances at Laurie. "Just go and have fun. You don't have to kiss him or anything.  Just be friends. Who knows, maybe it will be the date from Hell.  Every girl has one or two of those. The boys will be clueless and easy to deceive. The problem will be Ashley, but we can get you in good enough shape by the end of the week to pass without being obviously out of place."

"I don't know if I can date a guy," I say nervously.

"Well," Mom Polly says, "you have the week to think about it. Tom doesn't have a day off until Friday. It might be easier if you don't look at it as anything romantic– just look on it as hanging out. Will you at least think about it, darling?"

This will really give brain central something to prepare for.

"I'll try," I reply with apprehension, "but I'm not sure I can do it."

Actually, I'm real sure that I can't do it.

"Too bad we can't get in a slumber party before we go back," Laurie muses. "That's one experience that just about every girl has had many times by the time she's sixteen."

Another ultimate girl activity–the mysterious sleepover event. Girls never tell boys about what happens at those events but you can see the excitement exude from girls as they plan one. My sisters have had quite a few and I have always been banished to my room for the night if I'm not out on a scout camp out. Dad goes into hiding too.

"Too bad," I say with relief.

"Don't worry Kris, I am already thinking about holding one when we get home," Laurie adds enthusiastically. "You'll just love it!"

Oh joy! I think to myself.

Brain central is even getting into the act, because I get a message to lighten up. It is trying to adapt to the persona that goes with its body. I am getting confused.

"Let's get her some teen girl magazines that she can study," Mom Polly suggests to the crowd. "She ought to know the kinds of things that girls find interesting and what the latest trends are."

"I have a copy of Seventeen with me that she can start on," Laurie offers eagerly.

As the conversation progresses, I note that the Major has kept pretty quiet.

"Ladies," he says, "I am out of my depth here, but I will be happy to support you anyway that I can. Just let me know what you want me to do. In the mean time, I need to go do a few things in the yard. Call me if you need anything."

With that statement, he quickly exits, leaving me alone with my new mentors. Or is that tormentors? Whichever it is, they're getting increasingly excited. I think I might be an excuse for some serious girl time–something which Mom Polly seems to have been seriously deprived of in recent times. She is by far the most excited.

Laurie makes a quick call to Ashley who agrees to move the shopping to Thursday. Aunt Jen calls Mrs. Harrison to find out that our briefing should be completed by early afternoon tomorrow.

After handing me Laurie's copy of Seventeen to read Aunt Jen and Laurie head out to the local video store to pick up a few of the movies with which most teen girls will be familiar. I am told that pajamas would be appropriate attire for the evening's activities and that I should get mine on. Mom Polly is getting out the popcorn and some diet sodas. She says that she has ice cream in the freezer and chocolate in the cupboard.

I noticed a set of plaid flannel pajamas in my wardrobe as we unpacked last night so I go up to put them on. While I am there, I take care of removing my makeup and doing my new moisturizer routine. I also clean the new holes in my ears. Looking at them, I wonder what I would look like with dangly earrings.  I've always thought that dangly earrings looked good on a girl, especially on one with long hair. I find myself wishing that my hair was longer. I am starting to wonder about my thought processes. 

Returning the the main floor, I help Mom Polly set up their family room for an evening of girl fun then settle in to read Seventeen while we wait for the others to return with the movies.

Mom Polly also hands me a package from the drugstore. "I filled your prescription today while I was out. You will want to start taking those right after your next period."

Prescription? Period? Oh! I remember giving her my birth control prescription last night after unpacking. "Ah... Thanks," is all that I can get out before going back upstairs to hide them in my drawer. The thought of doing anything that would result in pregnancy sends chills down my spine.  That is not going to happen willingly.

Back downstairs I start my reading assignment. Seventeen is like no other magazine that I have ever read.  Sure, I have seen copies lying around at home, but I have never bothered to actually look at one. The magazine has been around forever (60 years it claims) and is filled with advice on fashion, hair, skin, makeup, health, sex, fitness, dating, college and career, and other things that girls find interesting. Where to start? I've had a crash course in hair and makeup, so the next crisis is likely to be fashion. I start with an article about this year's summer fashions. The article is not very long and full of words like adorable, comfy, cute, chic, and awesome and bubbles about what to wear to parties, the beach, the pool, or just hanging out at the mall. The writing style is upbeat and peppy. None of the articles seem to be all that deep. Moving on to other articles, I get engrossed in a discussion of girl's health issues when the movies arrive.

Looking through the titles, I find Bring it On, Enchanted, Ice Princess, and Legally Blonde. These would not have been my first picks, but I guess that the new me needs to see these.

When Tom gets home from work about an hour later he encounters four females in pajamas watching Bring it On in the family room. He wisely retreats to his own room.  The Major hasn't been seen for hours. Even Max has left us to ourselves. This is definitely a girls' night.

As the movie progresses, my tutors give me an education on the ruthless and underhanded tricks that girls are prone to pull on each other. And here I thought that they were all sweet and kind.  My tutors inform me that I need to learn the tricks and the signs of female treachery if I am to survive around other girls. As a guy, I had heard rumors of such dealings, but didn't realize how serious that they could become. Girls treat other girls much differently to the way they treat guys.  This sounds like a valuable lesson.

As we need an early start in the morning, we view only one movie. We'll watch the rest as the week progresses. In another strange ritual, we all hug before heading for bed. Mom Polly looks as if she has had a great time.

When Laurie and I get to our room, it is apparent that Laurie is not entirely comfortable about something so we sit on the bed together to talk.

In response to my inquiry about her nervousness, she sheepishly replies, "Kris, I know that you are still Chris, my boyfriend, in there. While I see all girl when I look at you, I still feel a bit unnerved about sleeping with you and being around you when I dress. I mean, if you were a real girl it would be no big deal, but I know that you used to be a boy just a few days ago and that makes me uncomfortable. I'm not sure about sleeping in the same bed or even sharing the same room with my boyfriend yet, even though you are now a girl. Does that make sense?"

I understand what she is saying–I feel pretty uncomfortable too. Heck, I was uncomfortable sharing a room with my naked mother and hanging out in a locker room with a bunch of naked and nearly naked females. I'm just surprised at her response after her bravado about me being naked around her from the first night in the store.

"You don't seem to have any problem with me being naked around you," I remind her, "so how come it doesn't work the other way?" I think that I already know the answer to this one but I want to hear it from her.

"When you are naked, I see what I've seen hundreds of times," she nervously explains. "A girl being around another naked girl is no big deal. But with you–please don't hate me for this–you're a boy in disguise as a girl. It's kind of creepy, like you're a peeping Tom with a license. I know that you would never be such a pervert, but still–" she leaves the sentence hanging.

I decide to let her off the hook. "That's okay, I know what you're saying. I feel pretty awkward invading private girl space. The couple of times that I have been in a women's room and the locker room have made me feel pretty uncomfortable–as if I was some place that I really don't belong. My mother told me that I would have to get used to it, but I think that it'll take me changing my whole way of thinking to renounce myself mentally from my former gender. Listen, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, even though you and everyone else connected with this charade have put me into lots of uncomfortable situations. What would you like for us to do?"

"For this week anyway," she says, "we are going to have to share a bed or one of us will have to sleep on the floor, but that would be out of character. Let's agree to stay on our own sides."

I agree to that, so I nod affirmatively to her.

"As far as dressing goes, can you give me some privacy by not being in the room when I dress?" she requests, hopefully. "I'll try to be quick."

"Sure," I agree. "Can you do the same for me unless I need you?"

I think we are both relieved to have set those ground rules. She leans over and gives me a sisterly hug before we retreat to our respective sides of the bed. I don't think that either one of us have resolved in our minds whether I am a boy or a girl at this point.

We talk more about the events of the day and she shows me how to put up my hair in order to avoid morning hair before drifting off to sleep. It feels good to friends again, even if we are still working on reestablishing the nature of our friendship.

---< >---

Tuesday morning, I am up and dressed in time to catch a ride to the Post with the Major. I go with jeans and a layered camisole and top today. The morning conversation is much lighter than last night's revelations–thank goodness. He reminds me to sit more lady-like at one point. Like I said, everyone is in the act of training me!

We arrive at the field house before Mrs. Harrison, but the Major doesn't stick around as he has work to do. That's okay with me, because I now have some idea of the layout and procedures.  Checking in at the front desk, I head to my far corner of the locker room again only to find it more crowded than yesterday.  I take a deep breath and change as if everything is normal, but still trying to keep my vision focused on my locker. I can't help but notice the scantily clad and naked women around me. All the colorful undergarments are distracting–the women's locker room is much more colorful than the men's. Mrs. Harrison shows up as I finish getting dressed.

In no time at all, we are running along the roads of the Base. Mrs. Harrison is a surprisingly good runner. I do much better than I did yesterday. She tells me that running is a hobby she picked up in high school and has kept up with most of her life. She regularly runs in 5k and 10k races, finishing in the top quarter of her age group. She notices that I am struggling to find a comfortable running style and gives me some excellent advice about running as a woman. By the end of our seven mile run, I feel as if I am starting to develop a running style that works with my new body and I also find that I am much more relaxed. The only thing missing is my private meditation time.

Laurie and her mom catch up with us at the cabin and we get more training on the covert part of our summer jobs.

Originally, Laurie was not going to be a part of the covert operation, but since she had figured out most of the details the security team decided to be make her part of the team. Another pair of eyes can't hurt. She is told of this new opportunity this morning and agrees to join up so she was briefed by her mother on the espionage situation while Mrs. Harrison and I were out running. She seems excited that we will actually get to work together all summer. She will get a super cell phone like mine when we get home. Apparently we can share the super laptop to file our reports since we will be living together all summer. Laurie has been using her mother's computer up to this point to file her reports.

As the morning progresses, Mrs. Harrison spends time telling us about how to use the computer and cell phones. We practice with the various features, particularly the panic message modes, until we are comfortable with them.  One really neat feature of the smart cell phones is the powerful zoom capability of the camera although, even with image stabilization, it is hard to hold it still enough to take a sharp picture at full zoom.  With practice I did get a few good pictures of a pair of Loons–Great Northern Divers to the British–out on the lake and a moose that wanders across the lawn. The cell phones also take digital video at a resolution much greater than your average cell phone. With a special key sequence, we can dump our images on a server that the security team monitors. We are cautioned to not let anyone else know about these capabilities.

Mrs. Harrison, gives us a 30,000 ft overview of the research programs that are the most at risk and who is involved in them. She tells us what kind of behavior and information we should be looking out for.  In addition to observing people and filling out questionnaires, she says that we should immediately report security lapses to her.  For example, if we see something that appears as if it should not be left out, we should photograph it and bring it back so that security group can chastise the offending people. The thought being that if an intern can view classified information, then anyone can. This sounds like an expansion of job scope to me.

She also suggests that we keep our cell phones on record mode whenever we go into any of the research areas. We are told that the security team needs to know if anyone is saying anything they shouldn't around us.  The theory being that the researchers must be taught to be more discreet.

We spent some time working on techniques for taking pictures and recording audio without being obvious. We told her about the planned shopping trip and she suggested that we practice our information gathering techniques in the store.

We also spend time discussing ways of hiding what we are doing from the other Lab employees.  Mrs. Harrison suggests we maintain an innocent 'dumb-blonde' air about us.

"You know," she says, "like you do when are trying to extract information from any guy or are trying to get out of a difficult situation, like a traffic ticket."

Laurie, it is apparent, knows exactly what Mrs. Harrison is talking about and connects with the lesson. Having little experience with girl tricks, I am floored that these actions are premeditated. Reviewing my past I am starting to see lots of situations where this might have been played on me. I am more than somewhat chagrined.

"A guy's natural inclination is to think that a young girl thinks of nothing but clothes, makeup, and boys," Aunt Jen explains patiently, "and consequently couldn't know about anything else. You'll find it useful to let a guy think that way most of the time, particularly when you're trying to get something out of him. It can be pretty entertaining to pull this trick sometimes. Unfortunately, this same way of thinking means that guys won't take you seriously when you want them to. It can be really frustrating."

I can think of the many times that girls have acted this way around me over the years. Even my own sisters and Laurie. Was it always an act?

"What makes the dumb-blonde technique so effective," Laurie explains after I express my thoughts, "is that actually there are some clueless girls out there, but most of the time it is an act. Guys fall for the routine most of the time even if they know about it." She looks at me apologetically. I've been had–more than once–I'm sure.

My three girl consultants suggest that I find a guy to try it on sometime soon as, they say, it takes practice to perfect the technique.

Mrs. Harrison explains to us the need for compartmentalization. She says that we will be safer if we don't know everything that is going on in the investigation.  We are just to collect information and return it to her in addition to looking for suspicious behavior and reporting it. We are only to talk with her about these issues. Aunt Jen confirms this requirement. We are not even supposed to pass in anything we find to Aunt Jen.

We are also supposed to work our way into the confidence of the children of several key researchers so that we can look for information in their homes that seems out of place. I am already on friendly terms with several of the kids as Chris but we need to find a way for Kris to get into their confidence.

At least one of the families that she wants us to befriend will be hard to work with.  The daughter who is my age also runs cross country, but she is known to be a bit of a snobby bitch and alienates almost anyone who tries to make friends with her. She hangs with a couple of other girls who have similar issues–they are a lonely group.

One other family has a boy Laurie's age, but he is a loner. No one really knows much about him and he isn't telling. Some people think that he is stuck up, but my opinion is that he is just shy. He never bugs anyone and seems to be content being by himself.

We finish the morning briefing with a discussion about what to do if kidnapped by the bad guys. Mrs. Harrison points out that if we are actually kidnapped that means that they don't intend to kill us. If they want to kill us, they are probably good enough to do it without the complication of a kidnapping.  As a result, the best thing to do is act cooperatively and send a distress signal if possible. We are also to play the clueless teenage girl trick. Our whereabouts will be monitored constantly and if we go missing at anytime, a team will be sent to check on us so help will be on the way soon and we just need to hang on. We are assured that the risk of trouble is very low as we will only be minor sensors in the investigation.

Aunt Jen teaches us a few basic resistance moves that we can use if someone tries to abduct us in a public place.  Things like shouting, flailing our arms, scraping their shins and stomping on their foot, kicking the knee sideways, and the like. We don't have time to practice them, but we are encouraged to keep the moves in mind.

"This is sooo cool!" Laurie squeals as we complete the briefing in time for a late lunch. "I just know that we can find the spy. I can hardly wait to get started.  And we get to spend all this time together! Isn't this just the greatest? It's better than I'd hoped for."

"Part of your job," Mrs. Harrison tells Laurie, "is to help Kris blend in as a girl. I think that we are already seeing that it'll take more than this week to help him become a believable her, so we need someone who can be around her as much as possible to help coach her and keep her out of trouble. Who better than her favorite cousin?"

I have to admit, that I feel better with this arrangement.  I am starting to doubt my ability to convincingly pull off being a girl without constant supervision.

---< >---

Thanks again to Gabi.  I learned more about the differences between English and American this time around.