It is late at night here and I am dealing with my son who is in Northern Thailand, and works as an "Aircraft Mechanic".
Parts of my own life does not make sense, but I am adjusting to the fact that I can not return to living as a man, besides I was not a very good man anyhow. He keeps bringing up the past and my being "Dad" and for me it is tiresome to keep talking about that to him. It doesn't seem to make any difference what I say, he just insists on rehashing MY past. I want it to stop and have said so but he just seems stuck in the groove. Here in America they call what he is demonstrating an Adjustment Disorder. I do not know what it is called in the UK or Europe.
I am at a loss at what to do.
Gwen
Comments
Call it what you will.
It seems he thinks his need is greater than yours and is stuck in a groove, he needs to move on.
Angharad
When talking does no good, ...
then the next step for extinguishing that behavior is to "disconnect" from the discussion. I assume you have tried just changing the subject without him following you to the new subject. So, consider a "physical disconnect." For instance, if in person, just abruptly turn and walk away silently. Close the door behind you. If via some comm-link, break the connection. Hang up, close the chat window, etc. If he asks, tell him why; otherwise, silence.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I assume that he is not just reminiscing about the past and things you have done together. Rather, he is complaining about some loss he feels he has suffered.
Can you share with us some of what he is trying to communicate?
[My whole comment is backward. Sorry about that. Read from the bottom up! :) ]
Sara
Between the wrinkles, the orthopedic shoes, and nine decades of gravity, it is really hard to be alluring. My icon, you ask? It is the last picture I allowed to escape the camera ... back before most BC authors were born.
What Sara Selvig said >And< ...
... call back the next 'day', usual time.
Start with just about anything - Ask what meal you should try in a Thai restaurant, unusual local weather, antics of your Companions (aka 'pets'), you tried something new and it was nifty/suc-ed, what are they feeding you 'over there', been to any (Buddhist) temples, got any "funny" repairs (like 'works better plugged in'), ...
When he starts with 'same old/same old' ... disconnect.
Repeat however many times it takes. {sad face here}
If/when he asks; or try to pre-emptively explain ...
It sounds like that your past is >your< past , and you tire of going over it ... again and again and...
... ... ...
"Now Son, lets talk about anything other my past. How about ..." (see some suggestions my above note) ... Sort of like "And how was >your< day; or how was my day, >today<.
(I haven't go this quite right, but I think I'm close ...)
I hope >something< 'works', for both of you. Good luck!