I am an addict.
I am addicted to imagination.
Fantasy, science fiction, comics, almost anything would do as long as it allowed me to not deal with the real world.
Nowadays I get my fix mostly online, including the ability to create a fake version of me so I never had to face my real self.
The result is I am an overgrown child, completely unable to handle the adult world.
And worse, I have hurt others because of my inability to function as an adult, and I am currently in a situation where my poor choices will affect my mother, who has come to depend on me as her dementia worsens.
Which means, I can't just check out, or even check myself into a place where I would no longer be a danger to myself or others, because she's at the point where she'd be lost without me.
So that's it. dammed if I do, dammed if I don't.
Comments
Taking care of your mother
I've read your posts over the past year or two and I really admire the way you've handled your financial living woes and stood up to take care of your mother. If my terrible memory is correct I seem to remember that other family members who were in a position to help the two of you chose not to.
I really admire you.
When I suffered from
When I suffered from depression I did the same. I started reading Marvel and DC comics here
https://getcomics.info/
There are so many it almost became a job to read them all. I stopped about a year ago. It helped at the time though.
It is just harmless escapism. It is just a method you use to cope with a difficult situation. Don't put yourself down. Perhaps see if you can get some help, even if it only for a few hours a day. Stay stong Dorothy.
Leeanna
Poor Choices
We all make poor choices.
Ty Cobb has the best career batting average at .366 which means he made a poor choice about six or seven times out of ten.
As the Cohen brothers' movies tell us again and again it isn't the initial poor choice that puts us in the ditch. You recognize your shortcomings and are modifying your behavior.
Escapism is a perfectly normal human behavior. Too much escapism, like too much sugar, too much sex, etc. can be harmful and you have noted that.
Cogito, ergo sum.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)