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Living Next Door to Alex – Part 2
By Julie D Cole

It was almost 2 years to the day after Alex left home that I received his first call. It was a difficult conversation at first but then after a while we relaxed. He sounded different and his speech was slightly slurred as if he’d been drinking. I asked if he was OK and he assured me that he was fine. I wasn’t sure but at least he’d made contact at last.

He asked how I was and he apologised for not making contact due to his mad lifestyle that was due to the success he’d had. He told me that he often worried about me because he was not around to look after me and asked if I was still living at home. He’d lost contact with his parents since they’d moved and mainly it was because they’d criticised his lifestyle and his insistence that he was not interested in working with his father.

‘So has that made you sad and angry.’

‘Sort of but we all move on and they shouldn’t have said the things they said.’

‘Alex I’m sorry about that since you always seemed to have a close relationship. Was it anything to do with our friendship?’

‘I guess I was too much of a disappointment to them since they didn’t think a career in music would offer a stable career and they wanted me close to home with a wife and family. That’s just not me as you know. They thought you were gay and feared I would be influenced and that really upset me.’

‘Well I did know you well growing up but I guess you have proved them wrong. You walked away from me as well as them. Do you see them or talk to them now?’

‘Only one message from dad since I left but I’ve had a few calls from mum checking that I’m OK. Dad obviously gave up on me.’

‘Was your fall out mainly to do with me then or your choice of a music career? I thought they’d be proud of you like I am.’

‘Nothing to do with you Jules just me. Dad and I always sparked off each other and it was mum who influenced me to sing. So when I got an offer I took it. I’m not sure she expected me to sing with my own rock band though.’

‘So I assume you now fit with the image of a rock star and all that goes with it? You’ve not got involved with drugs I hope or with crazy sex parties?’

‘What me? I have changed my image and if you saw me you might not recognise me. I guess I could use a few pounds. I’ve dabbled a bit and hosted a few parties but then I must have pressed the panic button and stopped myself.’

‘Thank goodness for that. You were always a heart throb at school and booze and drugs have ruined a lot of careers.’

‘Yep that’s true and I’ve seen how it affected lots of people and I’ve reached a point where I need to get out but I can’t.’

‘I thought you must have settled roots somewhere and I wondered if you were still living with Rachel.’

‘I have a house that I rarely visit and I do stay over with Rachel sometimes but that relationship is not one that is going anywhere. I guess it was just about sex and after a while the novelty wore off.’

I sensed that was a subject that Alex didn’t want to visit so I asked him if he had any concerts scheduled or new songs coming out. He mumbled something about being under pressure to finish a new album that he’d started but he was losing his appetite. He said that he didn’t know his concert schedule offhand and he’d let me know.

He then asked if I’d met anybody and if Sally was still chasing after me. I couldn’t lie to him so I told him that I’d been a recluse since I’d had a lot of treatment and just like him I’d changed a lot so he might not recognise me anymore either.

‘What do you mean you had treatment? How have you changed? Are you saying you had surgery? Your voice has become softer but I still know it’s you.’

‘Yes I have had therapy and I’ve been on hormones to become a woman. I tried to live as a man but it was terrible. I always felt different and you treated me how I wanted everybody to treat me. I’m due to have an operation soon but I’m waiting for a date.’

‘Do you mean a sex change? That’s extreme isn’t it? Have your parents agreed that you go that far? Are you sure about it? I thought you were scared of operations.’

‘Well I’ve followed all the advice and it was recommended that I live as a woman for 12 months and I liked it. I felt much more at peace with myself living as a woman. Then I was offered HRT treatment and my body changed a lot. It has confirmed what I always thought.’

‘So Sally will fancy you even more then won’t she?’

‘She did persuade me to dress as a girl and she wanted us to live together but she knew that I preferred someone else.’

‘Anybody we know?’ I guess that I’m surprised but not surprised. So what’s the operation then? Is it expensive treatment. Can you afford it?’

‘I decided on the breast augmentation that is done and I paid out of my savings and an inheritance. I am working hard and the tips are good so I hope to have the funds soon to go further.’

‘You mean a full sex reassignment operation? Are you sure since it sounds risky.’

‘I decided to have an orchidectomy. I’m not very big as you know and since I’m not with anybody there is nobody to satisfy.’

‘I guess the main thing is that you feel right. Look I have to go as somebody is trying to call but I need to talk to you more about this so I promise to call back. I’ve not been a true friend and I feel really bad.’

‘Please don’t worry about me I’m fine. I am not going to go anywhere and nobody is threatening me like they did at school.’

When he rang off I lay on my bed and cried. I was so happy that he’d called. I knew that I missed him terribly. Even in our early years together I always knew that I was different and whilst I had no one to share my life with and love since Alex left. Even though I was happier living as a woman I missed him so much it hurt. I tried to dismiss my feelings and luckily I was able to mix without anybody making comments or staring and my lack of stature helped a lot.

I picked up my i-pad and played the latest song he had released over and over again until finally it caused mum to intervene. She asked me to reduce the volume and assumed I’d fallen asleep with the track on repeat. She saw that I’d been crying so she sat down on my bed and held my hand. I told her that Alex had just called and I felt so happy as well as sad. Mum was relieved that these were basically happy tears. She told me that she’d always known that I loved him and hoped that I’d meet somebody one day who had the same effect on me.

I wanted to be alone for a while so mum left and within a few minutes I had closed my eyes thinking of all the great times Alex and I had growing up and wondering what he would make of me now.

I looked back at some messages I’d received from Sally and one stood out. ‘Jules you are so infuriating. You’ve changed and so has he. If this latest song is aimed at you then it seems to me it’s a cry for help and he doesn’t deserve it.’

I searched for the song lyrics to try to understand what she meant even though I knew the words off by heart. He was the author and there was no other person in the credits.

It still didn’t make sense to me and eventually I got ready for bed and slipped between the sheets. It was the best nights sleep I’d has in quite a while.

The next day was a Wednesday so I wasn’t working since it was a quiet day at the restaurant where I had taken a job as waitress. It gave me a decent income though I was vastly over qualified but then the owner was a friend of the family and he knew my situation so I didn’t get any grief. Mum had gone to work so I didn’t rush to shower and I made a jug of coffee and sat watching the morning news on tv.

Suddenly I heard the sound of a high powered motor cycle outside that seemed to pull into our driveway. The engine stopped and there was a loud bang on the front door. I was still in a short nightdress and panties having left my gown in my room. I stood up and headed to the hallway to see who was knocking. I had nothing to cover myself and I carefully opened the door a few inches and peered through the gap.

‘My God Alex is that you? What are you doing here?’

‘I should ask you the same thing. My God you have changed. What a babe.’

‘Sorry Alex I’m so embarrassed. I’m not dressed and I was just having a coffee before I showered and got ready. It’s my day off so I have nothing to rush around for.’

‘Well I took a chance you hadn’t left for work and I came here as fast as I could. Are you going to invite me in then I’ve come a long way and I’m desperate for a coffee. I couldn’t go to bed because my head was spinning after our call so I decided to take a ride. My bike just headed this way. Even though it was a long ride it seemed like a good idea to come and tell you how sorry I was to upset you. Everything else can wait.’

‘Come in please I’ve just made a fresh jug. Will you help yourself whilst I put some clothes on.’

‘Of course if it makes you feel better but you look OK to me as you are. You look great. I always felt you’d have made an attractive girl.’

I ran upstairs as fast as I could desperate to freshen up and find something to cover myself. I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face. I hadn’t time to apply any make-up and I tied my hair back into a pony tail. I found some fresh panties some leggings and a bra then a light sweat shirt.

When I entered the kitchen Alex was sipping his coffee and staring through the window at the house where he’d lived for 24 years.

‘My how many great memories living next door to each other. I guess we’ve grown up a lot and my how you’ve changed Jules. I just had to come to see for myself and make sure you were OK.’

‘Thanks I’m fine. I’m a lot happier now I’ve seen you and you’ve seen me. The good thing is that I seem to have been accepted by some of the group we used to hang around with years ago. They all follow you and they like your music.’

‘I guess I should have stayed in contact and sent some free tickets as and when I was in spitting distance but I don’t seem to get chance to think. It’s 24 hour go go go.’

‘Alex you’ll kill yourself don’t you take time out at all? Don’t you have a break to recharge?’

‘No I am always persuaded to put off any free time in case we miss a chance for promotion and there never seems to be a gap in our schedules.’
‘Alex you are driving yourself to an early grave. Who is it that is doing this to you? Is it Rachel Roberts?’

‘I supposed so but I don’t have a good reason to refuse dates. I nevel stay in one place or meet anybody long enough to stay friends. It’s just me and the group and I guess that I don’t fancy any of them.’

‘So how far have you ridden to get here? Won’t you be missed?’

‘I suppose around 200 miles or so and I won’t be missed until after noon when I’m supposed to be at the studios.’

‘I hope you are not going to just ride back without any sleep?’

‘Are you offering a place to rest a while?’

‘I wasn’t but that’s a sensible suggestion. You can crash out for a while and I’d be much happier if you did. We have a spare room and it’s empty.’

‘I guess it is best if I accept but how do I sleep now I’ve seen you again? Maybe I could just lie down whilst we continue to chat.’

OK but what about breakfast? Aren’t you hungry?’

‘Not for food. I don’t know what I want just now. I suppose I could do with a shower since I must be covered in dust.’

‘OK I’ll show you the bathroom and the spare bed.’

I closed the door to the bathroom and leaned against it as I heard him turn on the shower and step in. I was tempted to take a peak but I resisted.

He came into the bedroom in his shorts a tee shirt and spread himself on the bed. I sat alongside and he pulled me towards him until we were side by side.

‘Jules it seems that now we both walk on the wild side of life and my success have kept us apart. I’ve needed somebody to hold my hand and show me how to understand if this career was what I really wanted or if there was something else better than that.’

‘Like what? How could anything be better that being at the top of a profession?’

‘There is more to life than performing night after night in front of large crowds who you don’t know.’

‘Look at me? I’m worn out. I need some love and attention.’

‘Do you think you know what I need since you know me better than anybody?’

‘I don’t know at the moment but based on my initial observations you are still the Alex I knew growing up. Just a bit dusty with longer hair when you arrived. You look better for the shower and I guess you could do with a shave and some fresh clothes.’

‘I was thinking whilst I was in the shower. Do you think you could love me and show me the way to love you? Do you think that your love is what I need? Would you be happy if I gave everything up and came back?’

‘Alex you can’t just jump ship and especially not for me.’

‘Well what’s the alternative since I want us to get back together? How about you pack a bag and come with me. Do you think you could teach me how to love you properly and to make you happy?’

‘Alex that’s not fair. I’d be leaving mum and my job and our relationship would affect your career if the news got out that I was trans.’

‘Jules I’m not saying it’s simple but we’ll have each other and neither of us need be alone. That’s how it’s always been until I was crazy enough to leave.’

‘Why don’t you get some sleep and I’ll think about it. I promise not to dismiss the idea.’

Alex pulled me close to him and closed his eyes and within minute he was fast asleep. His arm was around me so I stayed still and stared at the ceiling.

I eventually coaxed him to lay on his side and sat up in bed. The crazy guy had ridden 200 miles to see me so I couldn’t just turn him down flat. I decided I’d call the restaurant and ask for a few days leave that I was owed and said I had something urgent that needed my attention.

I called mum and told her what had happened and that I’d decided to take a few days break with Alex because I wanted to see him perform. She just giggled and I guess I blushed but she said it was what she would do in my shoes.

By the time Alex woke up I had some food prepared and a bag packed. I hid it in the hall cupboard until after he’d eaten.

‘Jules I’m sorry for turning up out of the blue and I meant what I said about coming with me. I understand it if I went too far but really I want to spend as much time as possible with you until you are convinced that I know how to love you.’

‘Alex you know how to love me. Just like you did for 24 years. I’ve taken time off and packed a bag but I’m not sure about a 200 mile bike ride as pillion.’
‘ It’s not as difficult as you think you just put your arms around me and hang on and I’ll take care of the rest.’