Note to readers.Edited by Patricia Marie Allen
This is a work of adult fiction. No resemblance to reality should be inferred or expected.
Copyright… are you kidding?

“You need a bra,” mom said.

“Definitely,” dad added.

“What bra?” I whined. “I’m a boy…”

“Take it like a man,” dad said, “you are a girl this summer.”

“We need to buy you a bra,” mom said.

“I can take one of Tiff’s,” I offered.

“No!” Mom complained. “It’s not good to borrow underwear. Even if it’s your big sister’s.”

“Ha-ha,” dad chuckled. “You’ll see now what it is to be a girl – a shopping trip with your mom ahead.”

“I can’t,” mom said.

“Why not?”dad wondered.

“I have twenty-four hours shift tomorrow,” mom said. She worked in the hospital. It could be day shift, grave-yard shift, or twenty-four hours shift. Tomorrow she’ll leave at six in the morning and come back the next day at ten.Then she will sleep in till the afternoon the day after tomorrow.

“Will you be so dear to take her to the mall tomorrow?” she asked.

“Her?” dad asked.

“As you’ve said yourself – Ronnie will be the girl this summer,” mom replied. “Back to bra problem. Will you take her to the mall tomorrow?”

“Huh… No…” he replied. “I have three surgeries planned. A day after tomorrow I’ll have classes till eleven and then I’m free until planned surgery at two.”

“Very well,” I said.

“What?” dad asked.

“I too am busy tomorrow,” I replied.

“What will you do?” mom inquired.

“I’ll help Alice to get ready.”

“Why you?” mom wondered. “Isn’t this her mom’s duty?”

“Her mom is working the same as you.”

“Do not talk like that,” mom complained. “I’m always here for you.”

“Yes, of course!” I replied, “You and I will go tomorrow to buy my very first bra.”

“Don’t whine! You know I’m working tomorrow.”

“Exactly, what I said.”

“Anyway, you too are busy tomorrow,” mom said. “How exactly you’ll help Alice?”

“Hair and make-up.”

“MAKE-UP???” she shrieked. Then she added more calmly, “what do you know about make-up? Another question is how do you know about it?”

“A. My primary task is to stop her when she makes a clown of herself. B. You insisted for I take Home Economy classes along with a workshop. I got all basic knowledge like skin types and colors, foundations and contouring, and filling and shading.”

“Do you really know how to apply the make-up?” dad wondered.

“Sure I do,” I replied. “Haven’t you noticed that I’m a straight-A student?”

“You are, indeed,” Dad had to agree.

“That means I have done all homework, all assignments, and did all projects in all classes. Including Home Ec.”

It was like some gears were turning in mom and dad’s heads. Mom wanted to say something but only sighed and resigned. Dad sighed too.

“You know how to do a hair then?” mom asked after a while.

“There is not much doing. Only to curl the ends. Alice keeps her hair shorter than I do.”

“And her date?” dad asked suddenly.

“What date?” I wasn’t sure I understood what dad was asking. “The date is tomorrow night. The prom night.”

“I mean her boyfriend. The one who will take her to the prom,” dad explained.

“Ah… I see. Ozzie Carter. Why asking?”

“What does he think about all this…?”

“About what?” I asked. He better say it straight, not equivocated.

“About a boy helping his girlfriend Alice get ready for prom,” mom explained.

“What boy?”

“You,” dad said.

“I? I’m not a boy. You have said I’m a girl this summer. And I’ll be not alone.There will be other girls too.”

“Are these girls your friends like Alice?” mom asked.

“Yeah, they are. Why asking?”

“Do you have a boyfriend?” dad asked.

“Yeah, I do have some.”

“SOME?” dad raised his eyebrows.

“So what?”

“I mean. Your friends, err… girls have boyfriends with whom they go on date. Do you have such a boyfriend?”

“Sure I don’t. Why would I? I’m a boy,” I retorted.

“You say you are a girl.”

“You say I am a girl, not I. And talking of it, I didn’t know I was a girl the last time I saw my friends.”

“There is a boy, who comes to you frequently. Jake? Joe? Don’t remember his name,” mom started.

“Steven?” I offered.

“Yes! Steven,” she said. “Isn’t he cute?”

“Alice says he is.”

“To the hell with Alice!” dad interrupted.

“PAUL!” mom raised her voice and then asked calmly, “don’t you like him?”

“Sure I do! How could be otherwise? We are partners,” I exclaimed.

“What partners?” dad asked worriedly.

“We tune up muscle cars.”

“WHAT?” they asked in unison.

“Cars to show off. Or for street racing,” I tried to explain.

“What do you do with those cars?”

“My domain is EPROM reprogramming…”

“What’s that?” dad asked.

“Chip,” I said. Dad didn’t react. He probably didn’t understand. “Computer. Car’s computer…”

“Ah… I see,” he said.“How?”

“The first thing I do is I switch off EGR. As if it wasn’t invented yet. This way I gain ten to fifteen percent of power.”

“It’s all Greek to me,” dad said.