It was one of winter break days. An older brother was out for the whole week skiing with his buddies while parents left early in the morning well before the dawn to visit some mom’s relatives.

Dan was at home alone. He was twelve and a half year old. It was the age when the half year still counted. He was sure it counted. Dan had planned this day long before and he had prepared everything for today to pass smoothly.

The first thing he had to do was to imitate a sickness to get excused from the trip with his parents. That was done perfectly. Mom didn’t expect him to pretend sickness, not in the winter break. Usually, Dan was eager to see his cousins and parents couldn’t expect his ailment wasn’t true.

Next was the room. Dan had chosen the kitchen because there was more light here than in the bathroom. He covered the floor with some old papers. Later he put everything from his cache on the table: syringe, scalpel, needle, the bottle of alcohol, silk thread, band-aid, cotton wool, bandage, the bottle of Novocain, manicure scissors.

Now Dan had to prepare himself. He took two pills of painkiller and one pill of diazepam. He knew from his mom that was the strongest pain killing combination. His stomach was already churning. But he knew it was probably his only chance. He had to overcome his fair. He would pray though he wasn’t sure what he had to pray for.

He couldn’t afford any feebleness. He opened “The veterinary handbook” on page 168 and read the article “Gelding of the colt” again since he knew it by heart. His pants and underpants were taken away already. Now was the time for Novocain. He soaked six milliliters into the syringe, cleaned himself with an alcohol cotton pad and injected the half of it into the left side and another half into right side of his groin. He didn’t expect that but the shots were painful. Dan knew he had no more than three minutes for everything. He wasn’t accustomed to seeing a lot of blood especially his own blood and he almost fainted off any way he finished sewing his wound in time.

The pain was coming. Novocain was good though it worked only a few minutes. Along with the pain, there was nausea and dizziness too. Dan laid on his bed for almost an hour. The dizziness had gone and it was time to clean the kitchen. First thing Dan grabbed his flesh opened the window and threw it all out away.

“Sorry boys, I guess the crows will take care of you,” Dan said after he saw his flesh drop in the snow. Good, the apartment block was the last in the cul-de-sac and the kitchen window was facing an open field with now passers-by.

He still had to clean the mess and leave no traces.

It was on January 2, 1973, Tuesday, the 4573^rd day in Dan’s life.