From my readings on Trauma and recovery and Trauma treatment, I have the impression that healing from trauma often requires revisiting the trauma, or at least making it conscious. The explanation I've seen is that the essence of trauma is that it's experiences your conscious mind couldn't deal with, so they are left in "sense memory." Most experiences get dredged up on a regular basis (dreams?) and converted into narratives. Traumatic experiences don't get that, so they linger in your brain like open sores or infected wounds. Healing involves making them conscious enough to remember them the way you remember normal experiences -- i.e., as narratives -- so they become part of the past rather than something that feels like it's still happening.

The hard part, of course, is making them conscious without "tripping the breakers," so to speak. That's the part I've been having trouble with: once I get close to remembering what it was like during my "Hell Years," I either dissociate completely or have really unpleasant reactions which distract me from the remembering. I'm able to remember the outlines of what happened, the way an adult who knew something about what was going on might have reported, but what it was actually like is still too overwhelming.

BTW, I notice that the pages you link to ("letter from a broken toy") say "As a Christian, I must forgive". In practice, the expectation that one must forgive is just a continuation of the abuse. Until you have healed enough to be free of the monkey on your back that the trauma represents, trying to "forgive" amounts to denying the severity of the crime you've suffered, or even forbidding yourself to take whatever measures are necessary to protect yourself.

At some point, when (and if) you've healed, you may be able to look at your abusers and feel sorry for them being the way they are, and maybe forgiving them will feel natural. Or maybe not. There are people and institutions that abused me which, while I don't waste time hating them, the damage they did is still warping my life, so there's no way I will "forgive" them. Until then, your "rageasaurus" (a delightful term used at CaptainAwkward.com), i.e., your anger and hostility towards your abuser and the abuse, is your friend and protector.