Link: The Wisher's Paradox Title Page and Description

CAUTION - Emotional Abuse and Discussed Physical Abuse

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Looking in the mirror, Christina sighed and tried to bring her smile back. It had been two weeks since she'd last seen David or Ruth and her optimistic attitude had begun to wane under the stress of missing them.

After the new caseworker had arrived, Lyle had resumed questioning her, hoping to glean some new piece of information about her 'abductors'. She did her best to answer every question without lying, but several times she'd been stuck for an answer and just shrugged or remained silent.

As evening approached, Lyle had given up for the day and remanded custody over to her caseworker with instructions to produce her the next morning for further questioning. Thinking about Charlene Dawson, her caseworker, she smiled a little. Unlike Nancy, Charlene actually seemed to care about her. While she still insisted that DCS needed to conduct an investigation into her parents, she wasn't as eager to see the worst in everyone.

"Hey Christina!" Robert pounded on the bathroom door. "Move it or lose it! Some of us need to get ready for school!"

Rolling her eyes, Christina finished brushing her teeth quickly before unlocking and opening the bathroom door.

Pushing his way in, Robert Beck pinned her against the door. "No need to lock the door, Christina! You should be more... open!"

Christina sneered as she shoved the fourteen-year-old foster child away. "In your dreams, Robert! Don't make me repeat my lesson on bad touches! I don't think your manhood could take it again!" Stalking away, she stormed into the bedroom she shared with Lisa, the natural child of Sarah and John Hollander... her foster parents.

"Robert being a dick again?" Lisa asked as she packed her backpack.

Shying away from the thirteen-year-old's typical vulgar language, Christina nodded. "He just won't quit! Why won't your mom do something about it?"

Shrugging, Lisa flung the pack onto her shoulder while Christina sat on her bed. "Nothing she can do. She lays a finger on any of us and it's 'adiós, muchachos' to all four of us! DCS will have us all out of here and in foster homes faster than you can say, 'federal funds'."

Stepping up to the girl, Lisa poked a finger at her. "So don't rock the boat! Mom and Dad were nice enough to give you a place to stay when you didn't have squat! Not even more than one outfit!" Hearing her brother Don honk his horn, Lisa backed out. "And don't touch any of my stuff today! I see one sock out of place and you'll be sleeping without a blanket tonight!" At that she ran off, along with Robert, thundering down the hall and slamming out the door.

Trying to see the positive and failing, Christina knelt down next to the bed she used, which was really nothing more than some foam padding with a sheet and blanket.

God? It's Christina again. I know you must be sick of hearing from me with the same thing every time, but it's getting so hard to be a good girl here! Lisa is mean and Robert is scary! Mrs. Hollander won't do anything to protect me, and Mr. Hollander is hardly ever here! I didn't want to kick Robert! Since then though, Mrs. Hollander's been using it as an excuse as to why I can't see Mother or Daddy! She says I'm violent and need to be kept home, and she won't let them come here!

The only one who is even a little nice is Don. He won't let Robert near me when he's around, and Lisa needs him to drive her to school so she doesn't have to use the bus, so she does whatever he says. I'm just glad he says for her to leave me alone!

I'm doing all my schoolwork! I like school 'cuz I can use the computer where I can email Kathy! I miss her so much! She's been so sad lately. I haven't been able to see her since Daddy first took me to the FBI office. I know that you know all this stuff, but I just wanted to ask if you could cheer her up.

I'm going to see Agent Stewart again today, that's why I'm not in school. I think I should tell him about how bad it is here, but I don't want to worry Daddy. I know he watches from behind the glass.

I have to tell you something. If Robert tries to touch me again, I'm going to hurt him. Bad. It was bad enough when Agent Stewart made me get touched there to see if I'd ever been molested. At least the doctor was a woman, so it didn't feel so icky, but I won't let a boy touch me. Ever! I don't care about my promise! It's...

"Chris!" Sarah Hollander shouted from the door of the bedroom. "What have I told you about that shit? Get up off your ass and get started on the dishes! I won't have you wasting time praying to your 'invisible friend' when there's work to get done! Move it, missy!"

Christina quickly said "Amen." under her breath before getting up to go to the kitchen.

"Just for that, you get to vacuum the floors after I take you downtown!" she barked as she followed the girl down the hall. "I won't have religion in this house! I'll work you to death if I have to, until you grow up! There is no God! There's no Santa, no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy, and no angels watching over you! This is all there is until you die and then there's nothing!"

Continuing her lecture on atheism, Sarah watched as Christina did all the breakfast dishes and the dinner dishes from the night before. By the time she finished, it was time to go. Even as she rode in the car, Sarah continued to berate her for believing in anything she couldn't prove empirically. Walking into the building with the woman, she finally smiled when she saw her father.

"Daddy!" she yelled as she started to run to him, but Sarah kept hold of her hand and wouldn't let her go. When the woman slowed down, it made getting to her father take that much longer to the impatient girl. At last reaching him, her enthusiasm was lost; the weight of her situation crushing her spirit.

"Don't I get a hug?" David asked hopefully.

"That's inappropriate, Mr. Cocoran!" Sarah snapped. "Ask again and I'll tell DCS that you're trying to molest her! It's bad enough that her head's been filled with fairytales! Don't worry though! I'm getting her straightened out! DCS told us you sold her when she was born! It's your fault!"

"Mrs. Hollander, we were cleared of those charges! she was... hidden... from us!" Calming down, he looked at his daughter. "How you doing, kiddo?"

Swallowing, she shrugged. "OK, I guess."

Reaching out to take her hand, he watched as Sarah pulled her away from him. The disappointment on her face crushed the huge man's heart.

"No touching, Mr. Cocoran!" she snapped. "I'm warning you! If I had my way, a man like you would never be allowed around children! You let your son be abducted and you're not even doing anything about it! I don't even know why you come here anymore! Agent Stewart doesn't need you! I can keep Chris under control!"

"Any chance to see my daughter, I'll take it, Mrs. Hollander." David growled. "Even if it means putting up with you! And her name is Christina!" Looking down at her, he smiled. "Chris is much too boyish a name for her. She's had quite enough of that in her life."

Scoffing, Sarah walked around him, nearly dragging Christina behind her. Following his daughter, David ached to hold her, but kept his distance so as to not raise the ire of the hopelessly corrupt DCS. Eleven days. he reminded himself. Reaching the interview room, Charlene and Lyle were already there. Dragging Christina in, Sarah practically threw the girl to them.

"You're late." Lyle stated evenly.

"Chris was dawdling." Sarah snapped back. "Bad enough that you have to disrupt our schedule for me to drag her down here again. I do have other children to take care of! When do I pick her up?"

"Five o'clock." Lyle answered. "Don't be late."

Turning with a frustrated huff, Sarah stormed out of the room, nearly running into David as she did. "Get away from me, you goon!" she yelled, shoving him away before storming past him and walking quickly from the building.

Smiling at the morose girl, Lyle shook his head and made a note. "How are you, Christina?"

Turning to see her father standing just outside the door, she sighed and turned back to him. "Fine, Agent Stewart."

Lyle nodded towards David. "There's a man outside who looks like he could really use a hug!" Seeing her finally smile, he delighted in watching the girl turn and run to her father.

Kneeling down, David wrapped his massive arms around Christina as her own flew around his neck. "That's more like it!" he sighed in contentment.

Barely keeping her tears at bay, the affection-starved girl just reveled in his warm embrace. "I... I missed you, Daddy! I'm sorry that I messed up and now I can't visit you and Mother!"

"You did nothing wrong, beautiful!" he encouraged her. "Just like I taught you?" he whispered.

"Yes, Daddy!" she whispered back. Letting him go, she turned and entered the interview room.

Hours went by with Lyle asking the same questions he'd asked dozens of times before, each time comparing it to her previous answers, hoping that this time she might have some new nugget of evidence that he could turn into a lead. The case hadn't had any movement since the day she was taken into custody and he needed a break.

With only thirty minutes left until five o'clock, Lyle turned and looked at the one-way mirror. "Dave? Come on in here." Waiting a moment, he saw the girl's father fill the doorway. "Take a seat." he gestured to one of the empty chairs.

Taking the one next to Christina and opposite Charlene, he looked at Lyle with concern. "What's up, Lyle?"

Taking a breath, the worn out agent grimaced. "I'm sorry, Dave. Christina hasn't come up with anything I can use, it's been a month since Walt was taken, and I'm getting pressure from my supervisor to move on to other more active cases. I won't be calling Christina down for any more interviews. She just doesn't know anything useful."

"You're giving up?" David asked, trying to keep his tone even.

"I'm sorry!" Lyle ached. "We just don't have any leads! There's no camera footage, no clue to their identity, no trace evidence, and Christina's composite descriptions are so generic it could be you and Ruth! There's just nothing left! The case will stay open, but... I just can't justify any more time on it. His picture is out there, so maybe we'll get lucky, but until then we just have to move on. You do too."

"We can't." David sighed. "Not until we at least have Christina home."

"How's Ruth holding up?"

Shrugging, David glanced at his daughter and shook his head subtly. "She's OK. Working. Better than me these days! I'm on temporary Leave of Absence from the dealership. I'm welcome back anytime, but he gets it. Good thing I got an understanding boss!"

"Lucky you!" Lyle quipped.

Listening to their exchange, Charlene checked her notes. "Well, if that's the case, I want to advise you Mr. Cocoran that DCS will be moving to relocate Christina to Tucson in the next ten days. There's a foster family there that's been waiting for a preteen girl for three months."

Having read about other incidents with DCS in the news, David was actually expecting this. "We have our custody hearing next Friday." David pointed out. "That's in eleven days! She's required to appear! We have a subpoena!"

Looking over her paperwork, she nodded. "OK, I see that. I have it here. I have a lot of cases! I was told we needed to move her out of the Hollander home within the next ten days because they'll be going out of state and won't be able to care for Christina or their other foster child for a time."

"They're all going to go on vacation to Disneyland." Christina offered in explanation. "Just them, though."

Seeing an opportunity, Lyle looked at Charlene. "Ms. Dawson? Might I make a suggestion? Rather than uproot Christina to Tucson only to have to bring her back in a few days for the hearing, why not place her in the custody of the Cocorans? After all, they are her biological parents, have a stable home life, and I can vouch for their character. Can they be considered a form of kinship foster family in their unique case?"

"Unfortunately, no." Charlene explained. "Per state regulations, a kinship placement must be a person or persons with a significant relationship to the child who are not the birth parents."

Ready with his own plan, David nodded. "How about Ruth's parents? Would they fall into those guidelines?"

Looking at him in surprise, Charlene was speechless for a moment. "W... why weren't they brought up for placement before now?"

"By the time we could reach them to tell them they had a granddaughter, Christina was already in the Hollander home. Since everything seemed OK there at first, we didn't ask them to come from Boston. With recent events, they agreed to come here to care for Christina. They just rented a house."

Thinking a moment, Charlene nodded. "Alright. They'll need to submit their fingerprints for a background check and the house will need to be inspected before placement." Checking her calendar, she winced. "With doing all that, the soonest I have for the home inspection is three weeks from now. We'll have to go forward with the move to Tucson and then address this when they're ready."

"What if I could get you their background check today?" Lyle offered.

"What?" she asked in astonishment.

Opening the thick folder in front of him, Lyle leafed through it, stopped, and pulled out several sheets. "Here. I have other copies." Seeing her surprise, Lyle shrugged. "When Walt first went missing, we looked into the idea of a family abduction. I ran a check on Ruth's parents as a matter of course."

Smiling as she read the reports, Charlene nodded. "Perfect! Let's see... in that case, I can do the home inspection next Monday instead of processing the background check! She has to be out of the Hollander home by Thursday evening, but if the home check is OK, we can have her transferred to their custody Monday night!" Happy that she was able to help, it also saved her the paperwork of transferring Christina to Tucson and then more work to have her brought back for the hearing, then even more work later to transfer her to her grandparents' custody.

Nancy Boyd fumed with anger. She had finally arranged to get Christina transferred to Tucson and placed into the foster home she'd selected; one that would ensure Christina would quietly disappear in a series of rapid transfers from one home to another. To have it stopped just days from the transfer was infuriating. That idiot Charlene! Damn it! Just when I had everything perfect, that goodie-two-shoes goes and blows it! Those monsters are going to get her back if Christina ends up with her own grandparents! I can't even louse up their background check!

Livid that the DA refused to prosecute the Cocorans due to lack of evidence, Nancy had thought that she'd set up the perfect way to keep Christina in the system for six years, getting much needed federal funds for each year. The real pleasure though was ensuring that her parents could never see her again, getting justice in her mind for them allowing Walt to be abducted and for Christina being sold at birth. It's all their fault! she raged internally. I know they're guilty! Good people are never who we deal with! We wouldn't be called in unless they were bad! These two are no different!

Trying to think of a way to stop the transfer, she smiled wickedly. If they fail the home inspection, Christina goes to Tucson and I keep another name on the rolls for the next six years! In a few months she won't even want to go back to them, even if they do find her! Typing at her computer for several minutes, she set things up to make sure that the Robbins' home inspection was going to fail.

Walking down the hall to her shared room, Christina was worn from work. True to her word, Sarah had made her vacuum all the floors before she was allowed to eat. Remembering the day before her transformation, she shook her head at the difference love made. I was happy to do it for Mother and Daddy. Mrs. Hollander makes it a punishment.

"Christina?" came a voice from the room across from hers and Lisa's.

Pausing, the girl went up to the partially open door and slowly pushed it clear, seeing a sight that made her almost smile. Almost. "Hi, Don."

Lying on the bed and holding a magazine, the sixteen-year-old got up and smiled down at her. "What'd you do that made Mom so mad she had you vacuum the whole house?"

Wandering into his room, Christina shrugged. "She caught me praying to God again. I had to do the dishes this morning, too."

"So why do it?" Don sneered. "Nobody's there anyway!"

About to leave at hearing such raw anger, Christina stopped and looked at Donald. Tilting her head curiously, she instead stepped closer, looked around the room to see if anyone was around, and pushed the door nearly closed. "Don? Why are you so sad when you say that?"

Sitting down in a chair frustratedly, the teen stared at the ceiling. "I don't know. Probably because I wish there was somebody there!"

"There is, Don." Christina stated. "I know there is. He... um... let's just say He helped me once. Once I was sad all the time. I tried not to be, but the hurt never stopped. Not ever! I don't want you to be sad! You should never let the hurt corrupt your heart!" Suddenly seeing something new in Don, she really looked at him. "Don? Why are you really so sad?"

With a shrug, Don looked at her and sighed. "Doesn't matter. I can't fix it!"

Stepping closer, she looked around the teen's room again, this time seeing it was very familiar. There were no pictures on the walls; no personality to the room at all. It could belong to anyone. It was orderly, but cluttered with things that looked like they might as well be props on a movie set, they were so randomly but carefully placed.

It was just like the room Christina grew up in.

Looking to the teenager who was staring at the ceiling once more, Christina tried to imagine him as a her... and everything clicked into place.

"Don?" she began delicately. "Do... do you know why I'm here?"

Looking at her emptily, Don shrugged again. "Something about your parents selling you to some other people when you were born, you were raised by them, then they dumped you back with your parents."

"There's more." she expanded. "I was raised as a boy. They called me Walt."

Sitting up, Don looked at her with eyes wide. "No way! Oh man! That is just so messed up! I know just how... I mean... you're way too much of a girl to be raised as a boy! You're so... pretty."

Hearing the jealousy and slight feminine inflection in the reaction, she knew she was right. "Don? Um... I... I want to ask you something, but I don't want you to get... upset. Can I ask you without you getting mad?"

Looking over the girl, Don felt the jealousy raging, but was intent on keeping it in check. "Um... sure."

Stepping closer, Christina nearly shook with fear. "Do... do you wish you were... um... pretty? Like me? I wouldn't mind at all! I... I understand that."

About to yell at her to get out, the teen stopped and saw her hopeful and knowing eyes. Oh shit! She knows! That means I'm acting too girly again! If she can tell and she's only eleven, it must be obvious to everyone! Fear gripping her heart, she almost shrank away from Christina. "W... why would you say that?"

"Because I was just like you before I was brought to my parents... I knew I was a girl, but I had to live like a boy. I... I guess I just recognize something familiar in you. Am... am I wrong?"

Glancing at the door, she got up and moved down on one knee close to Christina and took her gently by the shoulders. "You can't say anything about that, Christina! I... I can't let anyone know! I have to be a boy! Mom would kill me if she knew!"

"But why?" she pressed quietly. "I mean, you'd be a beautiful girl, Don! You would totally pass for a natural girl!" Pausing a moment, she bit her lower lip. "What's your real name?"

"Still Dawn, just with an 'a' 'w' instead of an 'o'." she explained. "That's why I started making everyone call me 'Don' instead of... um... 'Donald'." She spat her given name like a curse word.

Smiling, Christina took Dawn's hands. "That's a really pretty name, Dawn! That why you grow your hair long, too? It's beautiful when it's out of that pony tail!"

Blushing, Dawn looked at the floor. "No! If anyone here is beautiful, it's you, Christina!" Sitting on the floor with one leg tucked under her rear, the teen waited while Christina did the same. "I... I wish I could be a beautiful girl like you! Then my life would be so perfect!"

Sighing at her blissful ignorance, Christina shook her head.

"What?" Dawn tilted her head.

"No you don't, Dawn!" the little girl answered. "Think about it! If you woke up one morning and were actually a girl, would anyone even know you?"

"Well, if it did happen, like with magic or something, everyone would know I was always a girl!"

"You so sure about that?" Christina pressed. "That would mean changing history... which means you wouldn't be you anymore! You'd be someone else that took your place!"

"OK, so just my body, then! If I could be a real girl, even if no one knew how, at least I'd be happy for once! Everyone would have to accept me as a girl then!"

"Why would they? This is the twenty-first century, Dawn! No one believes in miracles anymore! They would just think you were someone else and that you were missing!"

"But I'd be a girl!" Dawn insisted. "Eventually they'd have to accept that I'm still me and that I turned into a girl!"

"No, they'd insist it's impossible!" she pointed out from experience. "You'd end up in foster care because your own parents wouldn't know you!" Going over all the problems she'd had in the last month, Christina used them as hypothetical examples.

"Wow!" Dawn was impressed. "You've really thought this through!"

Biting her lower lip, Christina glanced at the door, thankful she could still hear the TV in the distance, meaning the others were zoned out in front of some show. "Um... Dawn? If I tell you a secret, will you promise not to tell?"

Scooting in closer, Dawn reveled in the idea of letting her hair down and having 'girl time' with someone who saw her for who she really was. "Sure! I promise I won't tell!"

Taking a moment, Christina closed her eyes. "I... um... wasn't abducted when I was born. I was like you. I was born a boy." Going through the entire incredible story, Christina watched Dawn absorb it all with a skeptical expression, but never interrupted.

When at last the little girl had finished her story, Dawn shook her head. "But that's impossible! There's no such thing as angels!"

"See?" Christina sighed and looked at the floor. "That's what I was talking about. You want it to be real and you don't believe it! It happened to me and sometimes even I don't believe it! Sometimes I even think that my life as Walt was just a big delusion and I always was a girl on the outside. If it weren't for the fact that I don't have a birth certificate, which is why I'm here, I'd give up and stop believing in God. I miss Mother and Daddy... and my best friend Kathy! I just... I want my old life back, but I can't have it."

"Are you crazy?" Dawn scoffed. "You got the best thing ever! You get to be a girl!"

"Sure." Christina moped. "I get to be a girl that lives in foster care with nothing while my parents go nuts trying to get me out! Hurray."

Seeing how sad she was, Dawn grimaced. "Well, it's a cool story, anyway. Kinda like some of my sci-fi books! Maybe you should write it! There aren't enough stories out there about girls like me, except porn."

Blushing, Christina looked away. "Um... why do you think you can't tell your mom? I mean, she can't exactly use religious arguments against it!"

Looking toward the door, Dawn shuddered. "Mom caught me wearing some of Lisa's clothes a few times when we were still close to the same size. She totally flipped! She said that if it got out that I was trans, she might lose her position as a foster parent and they'd lose the money they get, so she'd have to go back to work." Looking at the floor, Dawn felt the tear rolling down her cheek. "She... um... she punished me. Bad."

Reaching out to the trapped girl, Christina put her hand on Dawn's knee. "How bad?"

Dawn looked away and just shook her head, refusing to say.

"Oh, Dawn!" Christina cried as she leaned forward and hugged the teen. "I don't know what to say! I wish I could help, but I can't even help myself."

Returning the affection, Dawn sighed in relief. Even though she's a little wacky, it still feels so good to just let go and be me! I wish I could have this all the time!

Breaking their embrace, Christina looked back toward the door. "I better get back to Lisa's room. It wouldn't be good for you if anyone knew what we were talking about!"

"Yeah." Dawn sighed unhappily. "Thanks for understanding, Christina. I... I'm gonna miss you after we go!"

"I'll miss you too." she replied. "At least I'll be going to my grandparents' house, and you'll be going to Disneyland!" she tried to see the best of their separation.

Shrugging, Dawn moved back to her bed. "Yeah, but not the way I want to go. I wish I could be a Disney Princess just once!"

Heading for the door, Christina smiled. "Just be patient. Maybe someday!"