.........when from some part of my imagination came a simple get out of jail plan. I quickly grabbed his hands, reached forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Sorry Alun, got to go now, my auntie Cerys has arrived," I said as I gently squeezed his hands," I'll phone you later." "Oh, OK," he responded obviously a little stunned by the unexpected intimacy. |
Vol. 2.13
I lent against the bus-shelter cursing the bus company for somehow having arranged for there to be no buses available, in the city centre in the busy early evening, for me to jump on to escape my unwanted admirer.
"Why didn't you respond to my text messages?" he asked.
"I didn't get any," I lied as I guiltily recalled the numerous deletions.
I looked around frantically for a way out of my predicament. In a few moments Mrs Prys would have reached us and Alun would obviously recognise her as one of his teachers and would wonder why she was meeting me. To make matters even more complex he would wonder why she would be referring to me as 'Celyn', since he knew me as 'Eifiona'. But the most dangerous implication about the encounter was him realising that the girl 'Celyn' who was standing in front of him was really the boy 'Celyn' he knew from school.
"I sent you loads," he said unhappily, " you said you'd meet up with me."
Mrs Prys was by now within shouting distance, she was smiling as she walked briskly towards where I was standing. We made eye contact and I smiled back. Alun noticed my altered gaze and was about to turn around to find out who I was looking at when from some part of my imagination came a simple get out of jail plan.
I quickly grabbed his hands, reached forward and kissed him on the cheek.
"Sorry Alun, got to go now, my auntie Cerys has arrived," I said as I gently squeezed his hands," I'll phone you later."
"Oh, OK," he responded obviously a little stunned by the unexpected intimacy.
I released his hands and walked quickly towards Mrs Prys.
" Hi auntie." I said, loud enough for Alun to hear while making a sign across my mouth for Mrs Prys not to say anything, taking her arm and guiding her away from the bus-stop.
I turned and gave my unwanted boyfriend a last friendly wave before whispering to Mrs Prys," keep walking and don't say anything I'll explain when we're in your car."
****************
"You do have some escapades," Mrs Prys said, chuckling as I finished the explanation for my strange behaviour earlier, some fifteen minutes later as she carefully eased her Citroá«n into the narrow parking space next to Chapter Arts Centre.
"By the way," she added as she took the key out of the ignition and turned towards me," you look very pretty in that dress."
"Oh, yes.. thanks," I responded.
She chuckled again, " You're not into being complimented about your looks are you Celyn?"
"Not really," I replied.
"Don't worry, you'll get used to it," Mrs Prys reassured as she touched me gently on the arm," although I'm a little surprised you're wearing something so revealing."
"It's one of Taran's cast-offs," I explained.
"You're lucky your sister has such good taste then," she said," although there is one thing missing."
"What's that?" I asked.
"Some jewellery'" she replied, before rooting around in her small leather shoulder bag, " ah just the thing."
She took out the elegant silver necklace and leaned over to carefully attach it behind my neck and then carefully positioned it so that the silver heart outline shape was resting just above my breasts. I shivered a little at the touch of the cold metal on my warm skin.
"Just right, Celyn," she said as she gave me a quick once over," shall we go in and you can try the mango and passion fruit smoothie I promised you."
"Sounds deelish'," I said as I got out of the car and followed Mrs Prys into the old primary school that now functioned as the premier arts venue in the city.
******************
"What a wonderful film," said Mrs Prys as we walked back to the car three hours later. We were both drying our eyes after the sad ending to the film, 'La Vie En Rose' a biopic of Edith Piaf.
Earlier we had sat in the cafe drinking our delicious smoothies and Mrs Prys, or Cerys as she had insisted on me calling her, had told me some of her difficult childhood and how she had been forced to leave home, get a series of dead-end jobs and live a hand to mouth existence until she had transitioned.
She had also hinted at a series of unsuccessful relationships before she had obtained her gender recognition certificate and married her latest partner two year previously.
"Did you enjoy the evening," she asked a few minutes later, as she drove the car back to the station where I was meeting my sister to catch the last train back home.
"It was really nice," I replied, " thanks so much for taking me to the arts centre."
"My pleasure," said Cerys," it's one of my favourite places in the city."
We reached the station car park and I turned to say goodnight to my evening's companion.
"Bye Mrs.....Cerys and thanks again," I said and put my hand on the door handle to get out of the car.
"I'm glad you came Celyn," she responded," and I'm truly grateful to you too."
"Oh, why's that?" I said, turning back to her in surprise.
"Because, my dear, I don't have anyone else in my life at the moment who knows who I really am. It's nice to completely relax for a change instead of always being a bit guarded about what I say," she explained.
"What about your husband?" I asked, surprised at her admission.
She laughed before replying," he's an ex-army captain and very old fashioned in his ways, I'm sure he still has problems with votes for women, but despite that he is very sweet and I love him to bits."
"That must be a bit tricky for you though?" I asked, wondering how difficult a burden it must be for Cerys to keep such a secret from her partner.
"Don't worry, I'm fine, I've been doing it for so long that I don't even think about it these days," she replied," you'd better run Celyn, you'll miss your train. I think your sister is waiting for you."
I quickly bade Cerys farewell before dashing as fast as I could into the station.
"Where have you been, Celyn?" asked Taran a little angrily," we're going to miss the train!"
We raced along the concourse and up the stairs to the platform. The middle-aged station attendant was just about to blow his whistle as we ran towards the train.
"Hurry up girls, jump on!" he shouted with a smile on his face, pausing for the few seconds we needed to open the door, near where he was standing, and get in the carriage.
We both turned and mouthed our thanks through the window before our benefactor blew his whistle and the train slowly trundled away.
"Where did you get the necklace from?" asked Taran when we had sat down and got our breath back a few minutes later.
I looked down to see I was still wearing Cerys's necklace.
"Damn!" I exclaimed," I forgot to give it back to Cerys."
"Cerys? Who's she?" asked Taran slightly perplexed.
"Oh sorry, I mean Mrs Prys," I explained," she lent it to me when we went to the art centre."
"Ok, no prob then, how was your evening?" she asked.
"It was really nice, but what about you, how was the date?" I responded.
Taran smiled broadly and her eyes lost focus for a few moments before she replied," It was really great Celyn, amazing and great and great and amazing."
"I 'spose you had a good time with Grace then?" I asked, slightly sarcastically, while I smiled at my happy sister.
"She's just amazing and great and amazing and.." she responded dreamily.
"Great too?" I ventured to complete her sentence before giving her a gently slap on the side of her head.
"Hey what was that for?" Taran asked in surprise.
"Trying to fix your brain, it's in loop mode," I replied," know any other words apart from amazing or great?"
"Great and amazing?" she responded, laughing.
I poked my tongue at her and left her to relive her evening while I went over my own pleasant time as the train left the bustling city.
*****************
"Want some toast?" I asked Taran as she walked into the kitchen the next morning just after nine, unusually late for her, still in her jimjams. I had been up and dressed in 'boy mode' for over an hour and was just stacking the dishwasher before cycling over to see Siá´n.
"Please," she said and sat down at the table. She still had the same dreamy look she had the previous evening.
I put two pieces of bread in the toaster while I started making myself a packed lunch.
"You ok?" I asked my silent sister.
"I dreamt about her last night?" she responded enigmatically.
"Grace?" I ventured.
"I'm in love Celyn, and Grace said she feels the same I've never felt this way before about anyone," she responded before returning to wonderland.
A couple of minutes later the pop of the toaster interrupted Taran's daydream and she was forced to beam down to earth to manage the mechanics of buttering.
"Celyn, I'm going to tell Mum," said Taran, abruptly after she had finished her first piece of toast.
I turned to look at her and noticed a determined look on her face. I attempted to dissuade her from a potentially risky action," but Taran you can't tell Mum, please not yet, please you know....."
"What can't Taran tell me Celyn?" said our Mother as she walked into the kitchen from her office, obviously having caught the end of the conversation.
"Nothing," I mumbled and turned back to my sandwich preparation.
"I hope it's nothing," she responded before getting the coffee jar out," By the way Taran you look happy this morning."
"Yes I am really happy, Mum," Taran responded.
"Any reason why?" asked our Mum.
"I've found my soul-mate Mum," explained my sister.
"Oh really who's the lucky boy?" Mum asked as she poured the water from the kettle into her cup before sitting down at the table opposite her elder daughter and looking at her. She was rather surprised by the response to her question.
"It's a lucky girl, Mum," said Taran, simply.
There was sudden silence and it felt like the temperature of the room had suddenly dropped fifty degrees.
"I'm not sure I understand, Taran" said our Mother with an icy tone in her voice.
"Taran shall we go and try on your new clothes and talk to Mum later?" I interjected, hoping to avoid the confrontation
"No, you're staying both here and Taran is going to explain what she means by that last remark," commanded our angry parent, before turning to face my sister directly.
"So tell me Taran, how come your soul-mate is a girl?" she asked.
"I've got a girlfriend Mum, I'm a lesbian," answered my sister, speaking rapidly and avoiding our Mother's gaze.
There was a very long silence and Mum looked like she was about to explode.
After what must have been a few seconds but seemed like minutes she shouted," How dare you!"
"How dare you bring more shame on our family!" she continued.
Taran looked at Mum and suddenly the expression of being completed deflated at the instant rejection, tears began to flow freely down her cheeks.
"Isn't it bad enough that your brother is a transsexual?" stated Mum.
I stared at her in horror and soon my sniffles had joined Taran's as the only sound in the kitchen.
I held my sister as we both sobbed, both feeling the shock of such an unexpected repudiation. Mum finished making her coffee and walked back to the study.
***************************
"How could she say such things?" asked Taran as we spooned on her bed some fifteen minutes later. She absent-mindedly played with my hair which I had let out of the boyish ponytail, all ideas of a day out with Siá´n long abandoned
"Dunno, thought they were OK about what happened to me, not as if it's my fault," I replied.
"What's the big deal for them if I'm gay anyway?" she commented.
My reply was interrupted by a gentle knock on the bedroom door.
"Can I come in?" asked Mum.
"Go away, we hate you!" shouted Taran.
"Please girls, I'm sorry for what I said earlier, please let me in," Mum pleaded.
I turned to look at Taran, she shrugged her shoulders in disinterest. I got up and unlocked the door. Our Mother walked in and sat down facing us on the armchair. It was obvious she had been crying too.
There was silence for a little while as we waited for her to speak, she seemed to be gathering her thoughts as she looked at us, her gaze moving from one tear streaked face to the other and back again.
"Taran, Celyn, please forgive me for what I said earlier," she began, speaking hesitantly, " please understand that this is all so difficult for me, well for both of us, your father and I, but I shouldn't have said those hurtful things."
We both stared at her not sure how to respond.
"What you told me today Taran was such a shock," she continued," but I'll do my best to try and understand and please be reassured of one thing."
"What's that?" we both asked, almost in unison.
"Both your father and I still love you and will support you in whatever you decide for your future happiness," she explained," now come here and let me give you both a big motherly hug."
Soon the tears were streaming down every one's cheeks, but this time they were a reflection of our relief and joy as we were embraced by our Mother.
The door bell rang, with whoever who was activating it sounding like they expected a quick response as it rang a few times in rapid succession.
"It must be the post," said Mum, disengaging herself," I'll get the door and then why don't we go for a meal somewhere, my treat."
We heard her footsteps and then the door being opened and the sound of a woman's voice.
"Doesn't sound like the postman," I said to my sister as we both dried our eyes again.
"Celyn it's someone for you," Mum shouted up the stairs.
I opened the door and started walking down to the lobby.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"It's one of your teachers," she answered," she said her name is Mrs Prys."
"What?" I exclaimed in my astonishment, "what does she want?"
"She wouldn't say, but she seems very upset," responded my Mother.
End of Vol. 2.13
Comments
Oh, Dear!
I hope it's just the necklace that's got Mrs. Prys upset, hoping to retrieve it. The alternative, that it's something to do with her husband finding out her secret, and blaming Celyn for it, is just too horrible to contemplate.
What an awful note of uncertainty to end the chapter on!
Oh know
Please don't tell me that Mrs. Prys' husband found out.
The mom's reaction - THAT was a surprise after everything else we've seen... Perhaps she's just off her meds.
Very interesting chapter though.
Annette
Trust
Hi Cariad,
I don't think I could ever trust anyone again who said such a revealing statement.
My own parents pretty much made the same comment and I always had a wall up after that.
To carry such a bias in your heart must be embittering to say the least.
Chapter Arts Centre
Goodness my brother went to Canton High School, where Chapter is now. I followed him but to the newly built school at Fairwater. I remember seeing Death in Venice at Chapter, came out in tears if you recall it's about, 'some old poof wot expires in Venice,'(Monty Python).
Gosh, something of a cliff hanger all round. Thankfully, my mother didn't ever say that to me - mind you I didn't have a gay sister.
Cofleidiau.
Angharad
Angharad
Cliff Hanger
That must be a name that Gabi can use jn her Aunt Greta saga, apart from Alys leaving us with one for Celyn every episode. However, I have learned that it is useless to try to second-guess her sneaky, twisty mind.
At least this time it is Mrs. Prys in pain and not Celyn (yet?). Oh, dear, what can the matter be?
As for Mum! Well! How can a woman like her have such good children? Celyn and Taran deserve better. The first outburst defines her true feelings much more honestly than her "apology". While finding that your daughter is a lesbian may be a shock, to declare that your other child, who had the choice of death or girlhood, is a transsexual, while maybe technically true, shows a deep lack of empathy and motherly love. Come, Alys, rain down metaphorical thunderbolts upon her or , at the very least, a plague of boils. She must not go unpunished. Hmm, perhaps some brainwashing or thumbscrews; use that evil imagination of yours,
Joanne
Not totally true ...
his parents never gave Celyn the choice. If she is TG it is by her parents request.
The SRS was not necessary, just in the long run logical. If I remember correctly, Celyn could never be a convincing man, the hormones might risk a recurrence of the cancer if any precancerous cell existed elsewhere in his body. I assume the surgery to remove the tumors ridden testicles would have rendered his penis non functional, if the female hormones and other drugs they needed to give him after weren’t enough to render him impotent on their own.
With the inevitable changes to his body type to that of a woman – he was at a critical point in puberty so any hormones would have a serious impact on his/her appearance --that the drugs would cause, his best option was SRS and live as a woman. At least he would look correct for the sex and might have a satisfactory sex life, neither was possible if he went the reconstructed male path.. Which we later learn is the case, both with his male friend and the sweet Asian girl she first met on that near disastrous villa vacation, Celyn experiences great physical satisfaction with her new sex. BUT they did not need to do the full SRS at the same time as the cancer surgery, it made things far easier and likely contributed to the very satisfactory sexual results she later experences. They could have done all the emergency cancer surgery then stabilized him, explained the situation and maybe he would have seen the light and become a girl. His parents took that choice away from him.
Every great chapter, forward or back, Alys has taken us I find more evidence that though the mom in her heart loves her kids, she is often their worse enemy as she is so clueless she make blondes look smart by comparison..
---John looks to see if evil blonde sister has noticed this insult, Whew, close one! –
Also her apology though touching is lacking. It’s vague, like she’s embarrassed to admit the bile she spoke or that she really believes part of that filth she spouted. It's a bit like a kid who is sorry but more for being caught than for what they said or did. Celyn was not a party to his/her sister’s choice of lesbianism but mom slams him/her a good one. She may be TG, technically but not by choice, in fact if there was an choice at all it was dad’s and MOMâ€S. Dad is an enigma, we see little of him though he seems more logical and thoughtful than Mom. Her apology, particularly with regards to Celyn is a joke, a half-hearted farce and I fear in the long run, her bizarre ideas to help make Celyn a *proper girl* will push the family apart.
The teachers distress, is it a Mc Guffin, a Red Herring or is it something serious. Obv. It doesn’t out Celyn but ….
Ack! Alys has cliff-hangered us yet again. Gosh she’s good at it.
Thank you again. Post only when you are ready. This wait was well worth it.
John in Wauwatosa
P.S. I quote.
>>
After what must have been a few seconds but seemed like minutes she shouted," How dare you!"
"How dare you bring more shame on our family!" she continued.
Taran looked at Mum and suddenly the expression of being completed deflated at the instant rejection, tears began to flow freely down her cheeks.
"Isn't it bad enough that your brother is a transsexual?" stated Mum.
I stared at her in horror and soon my sniffles had joined Taran's as the only sound in the kitchen.
I held my sister as we both sobbed, both feeling the shock of such an unexpected repudiation. Mum finished making her coffee and walked back to the study.
>>
End quote.
The "... more shame ...", the "Isn't it bad enough that your brother is a transsexual?" and her calmly making her coffee after this vitriolic tirade hammers more nails in the coffin lid of her claims to being "their mother". She gave birth to them but that's about it. The more I think about it the more I want to slap the mother. Time and time again she does something with out thinking, it is a great failure, a near disaster and she finds a way to ignore the damage or to trivialize it. How can her children respect an love this loose cannon?
Very good stuff, Alys. I am angry at the mom because you wrote this so well. I can *see* her *putting her foot in her mouth* vividly.
John in Wauwatosa
My mother's transexual son.
I am almost completely certain that my mother would have applauded my being transgendered. She always wanted a daughter, she gave me feminine name, she raised me as a girl...
I met my birth father when I was 27. I only knew him two weeks and then he was off to Oklahoma to die a short while later. From what I saw of him, he may have been gentle enough to accept me.
I have bored you enough with the story of my step father; though I no longer see him as evil. He was just a badly abused child who grew into a very angry man. I happened to be available to act as a receptacle for his anger. Nothing personal.
I suspect that my own son is a latent homosexual; though he has three children and just got married to a very nice girl. Statistically, that is unlikely, however. How could I not accept him.
This is a very tough issue for families to work out.
Many Blessings
Gwen
The blonde sister may not have noticed,
but, we did! I may no longer have the blonde locks of my childhood (they've aged to a light brown), I still take umbridge with disparaging remarks in that direction. Perhaps you might be interested in this bit of dialog I heard...
"Pam, I'm afraid he's done it this time."
"No, he's such a nice guy."
"He's been warned before, and yet he continually belittles us."
Pam hung her head a moment, but countered, "He writes such nice, mostly, detailed and clear comments. The world would be a lesser place without him."
"It's those very comments that contain the problem, and you know it. It's obvious he never thinks them through before posting. We really have no choice."
"I guess you're right. Though, I still think this punishment is excessive."
Pam moved to insert her key as her supervisor inserted her key. At the supervisor's nod, they both turned them a quarter turn to the right and the ground shook as the rockets blasted off for Wauwatosa.
"I wonder if he'll be able to write, when this is over?"
"That's a good question. Natural blondes have no trouble, it's the ones that go blonde at the parlor that have given us all a bad name. Maybe when the bleach grows out, he'll recover. As you know, the hope is that the experience will make him more understanding of those he belittles."
Well, that's all I was able to capture. Perhaps if you get in your car, and drive away fast, you MIGHT avoid destiny...
Good luck,
Annette
On no, THE BOMB ...
The BLONDE BOMB!
Aaaaaaaah!
I'm sorry and I was blonde in the summers as a kid up until around third grade when I became dirty light brown yearround, now flecked with shades of white and AWOL over much of my head.
--KABLOOWIE!--
Oh, like wow, I'm a blonde! Well there go 30 IQ points but being a blonde I don't care, ya know? Boobies, I have boobies? ... Oh I'm a fox, bitchn’! But I was this guy, uh, I think? Better call 911.
911, um I was this like, ooold guy and suddenly became this hottie blonde babe. Could you send some of your hunky firefighter/para somethingorothers over to check me out? Tell them to bring cham ...cham, something to drink and those rubber things, kay? Lots and lots of those.
John, um Joan in Wau wa watosa
P.S. Getting back to Alys and this great story. The mom is so flawed, that's what makes her so real and so frustrating to me. If in her apology she had said, she feared for the reaction of some in the community both for herself and her family’s safety. That part of her felt what with Celyn’s unfortunate cancer and now her other daughter discovering she’s lesbian it felt like she was being rejected, that she would never be a grandmother, something she so wants to be in due time. If she expressed her fears and why maybe it made her snap it would be more convincing. But this mom is not often a deep thinker, she reacts, she is not a long-term planner but then who is?
A few tears and a group hug is insufficient penance and her actions in later chapters seem to prove she has not learned much.
Very good work, Alys.
John in Wauwatosa
Puddle Jumping
I love sneaking peeks over across the U.S. and the "pond" to see how Celyn is getting along. Trouble sure does nip at her heels. Poor kid.
The mum is quite a mess. She's admitted to having problems with Celyn and now Taran but at least she's trying to overcome her programming. I'll cut her slack. She's a mum and she's trying to make up for her bad behavior. Let's just say I can relate. *sigh*
I'm not going to guess about Mrs Prys. I just hope it's not as bad as the worst possibility you hinted at. Poor woman.
Thanks and please keep up the good work.
- Terry
Poor Celyn
I hope that she can help.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine