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So I had a bit of a revelation thanks to my councilor yesterday. We had talked about my rapes a little, and how I used writing as a way to process them, and then we were talking about my stepfather and my councilor asked me if I had written any stories about my time with him.
I checked, and I have not.
Now, I'm no expert, but when a part of my life is so radioactive I cant even fictionalize it, something is up.
Oh boy, more slogging ahead, this is NOT gonna be fun . . .
Comments
If it is that bad
then don't even think about posting any of it. Write it for yourself and only yourself. That way, it can be real and not fiction.
Good luck.
Samantha
I know this looks like a
I know this looks like a single hug, but it's the longest hug you've ever had, Dot.
Hugs!
Rosemary
Best Wishes
Best wishes with it. Perhaps you might start slowly or gently -- perhaps inserting a few events in, either as background or current. One shouldn't do it all at once.
A few times, fuming led me to write a story. A couple even got posted. The two I'm thinking of are both horror stories. (I began one well over a decade ago, and I can't even remember what provoked it. All I know is that I was fuming or furious.)
-- Daphne Xu (a page of contents)
Things I do not share.
There is some old business that is no longer part of my life, and I do not share it any longer. Years ago, I tried to explore it but it turns out that no one wanted to know about it. You might find some in my old stories, and I would have deleted it were I able. Most of it was about getting someone to want me and that was too far for them.
Gwen
A suggestion is just that
Your councilor's question is not meant that you MUST process this, nor do I anticipate that was his/her intent. It's akin to the exercise of writing a letter you don't intend to share or the 'empty chair' device of confronting someone who is deceased or unable to contact/receive confrontation.
More importantly, and this is speaking from experience and at the advice of my own therapist in relation to my dad? There's nothing to say you MUST publish any story you've written as a therapeutic tool..
Writing about trauma is a tool in therapy that is often done in order tp process what you already know about/with someone no long available/alive. It should always be done with the caveat that it may bring up new memories of old trauma.. My therapist and my previous therapist reminded me that memories are inevitable only in that they will lie dormant or come out because of how everyone's brain works. "The brain does what it wants.' EVERYONE'S brain does what it wants. We need not seek to recall any trauma unless it is done safely and with someone alongside.
If you do write - a big if - your writing should not be done in the context of posting it here UNLESS sharing it is part of your process. You should neither feel ashamed of telling others. But you should never feel ashamed for withholding it either. And if only you and your therapist read some things, that's okay as well.
As with any writer, write what comes to you, but in this case, especially with the history of hurt by your stepfather, write with the idea that it's not something you must complete swiftly unless you feel safe. Pick it up, look at it, and you alone decide how much of it you are ABLE to share and with whom and at a pace that does not leave you feeling unsafe. Love you dear lady!
Love, Andrea Lena
Were you talking to your
Were you talking to your counselor ?
Here in the UK a councilor (or councillor) represents you on the local council.
This isn't obviously somesothing you would discuss with a low level politician.
I always get those two confused
yeah I meant the therapist, not the politician