Lots of us are in the same boat here. I am sorry to be whiney. I started Isolating about the first of March and it is getting old, really old. I am very lonely. I get all masked up and go grocery shopping about every 10 days and that's it. I've seen two ads about people over 50 getting together but that will have to wait until after the second vaccine.
About a week ago, something broke or something. All of a sudden, arousal is really strong in me and I've started looking at porn. I seem to lack the ability to make anything happen because self stimulation is not enough. I've avoided any sort of Boy Friend because I can't get round the idea that a major part of me is still a boy, and I do not want to be gay. Tonight I decided to hell with it. I want a boy friend, and I want someone to fuck me. I have the proper opening, so Anal is not needed. The problem with T folk having a boy friend is that they tend to get killed. I don't know what I'm going to do. Guess I'll have a bath and go cry for a while. Thanks for letting me vent.
Gwen
Comments
Loneliness Is a Four Letter Word
There's no shame in either being lonely or horny.
Those emotions have kept our species alive through some bad times.
But your words seem to suggest that there may be more readily available fixes for your needs. Call a help line in your area. My guess is they get dozens of calls about severe loneliness. They probably have some good suggestions.
If a hug helps, here's one.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Thank you Jill.
You are correct and tomorrow perhaps I'll start calling. Hopefully they won't want too much intimacy. Maybe just a friendship?
Gwen
been there done that
a bath might help. huggles!
Isolation leads to feelings of isolation
What happens when a person stays home alone for a year? Naturally, that person starts to feel isolated and lonely and odd.
Your feelings are exactly appropriate to your situation. And of course you're not alone in being alone.
I'm pretty introverted and have often complained of never being alone -- now I'm isolated with my spouse, which has actually helped soften some of our old difficulties with each other. It's also been a great time for finally studying some subjects I've never had enough continuous time to tackle. I've done a lot of writing, although only four stories written during covid have made it here -- the rest are still in various states of development. I've also managed to organize my writing so that I don't lose ideas or work, and have space and time to noodle on ideas without worrying about whether they'll eventually work or be postable.
All of that is great. But recently it has changed for me as well. Maybe there is some kind of time limit here. Suddenly, in the past couple of days, the novelty has worn off. I'm still getting things done, still studying, still writing. I started working out every other day, and that has helped how I feel physically.
Psychologically, though, the feeling is how long can this go on? It hasn't overwhelmed me, but I understand what you're feeling, Gwen.
I wouldn't feel bad about looking at porn, though. Why should you?
I don't know what to say about actual sex, though. Sorry! Hopefully a way to get what you need will appear.
Eventually this will end, but waiting is one of the hardest things in life. My spouse watches the news ALL THE TIME, and it accentuates this belief that a resolution to all of it is IMMINENT -- always getting closer, but never actually happening.
It will, though. We'll get our shots, people will start traveling again. Eventually other countries will let us come visit.
I am trying to make sure that when the opening occurs, I'll be ready. There are things we can do: take care of our health, try to lose weight (if appropriate), learn things, try to do things that are fun, go for walks. Make sure all your documents (drivers license, passport, etc.) are up to date.
Anyway, big hugs through the internet. You're strong. You will get through this.
- io
tiresome at best
Hi Gwen, today is week 47 day 5 for us, tired, bored, vacations cancelled. Our welcoming home shuttered until such time as we can safely mingle again. We normally host many parties, this past year none. We wanted to have a 75th birthday bash this spring, nope, sorry. Maybe next year. For now at least we have toilet paper and Seagram's VO. Stay safe and well, hugs.
Carol Anne