Another Side of My Life – Chapter 13
By Julie D Cole

‘Jackie, welcome back. Where have you been. It’s great to see you again.’

I looked in the bar mirror beyond the barman at the wide grin as they shook hands.

‘Jack, what are you doing here? Aren’t you working?’

‘Seems not. It was clear that you girls weren’t calling for a nightcap and the bar was dead tonight. Nobody buying so I called time and handed over to the night porter to serve anybody who needed a drink. We missed our chief barmaid and salesgirl I think.’

‘Well it’s a nice surprise. The girls seemed to want to carry on and I didn’t like to get into a taxi by myself.’

Another of the barmen came over to say hello to Jack admiring his ‘new look’ and how delighted they were that things were working out. It turned out that he was the manager and I left them to it whilst I took the drinks to our table. It seemed that a few customers were also pleased to see him and he was busy shaking hands and chatting so I sat down with the girls and watched.

Debs noticed the reception that Jack received and smiled before looking across at me. She leaned across and whispered. ‘This is where Jack came and worked whilst he was turning his life around after he left home. He walked out of university and argued with mum and dad. I guess these are his real friends.’

‘How long did he work here, a long time?’

‘I guess he will have been here for around 2 years and he ended up virtually running the place. We lost contact with him for about 12 months and then one day I got a message from him and I came straight down. He got his mojo back and looked happy again. He’d been in a relationship with Laura before he left home. They argued a lot and she was part of the problem I’m afraid. He was fine growing up and he never had any relationships until they met. He didn’t want to disappoint her and he couldn’t confide in her because he didn’t trust her. He felt trapped and even when he went to university, she followed him like some sort of stalker. Eventually she accepted the situation, but she’s never really gotten over him.’

I looked across at Jack. It was nice to see him laughing and joking with his friends and he seemed extremely happy amongst them and clearly he was popular. He was hugging everybody and glancing across at us to let us know he was not ignoring us. It did seem that he was flattered by the welcome he was receiving.

I smiled and shook my head a little. This seemingly quiet and soft-spoken guy I’d met casually in the hotel bar clearly had a past that was different to the one I’d ever imagined. Unlike me he was very sociable. He seemed to make friends easily, so I wondered how it was possible that he’d had problems. Maybe he’d had some sort of breakdown and if working here had helped him recover, then maybe my own solution was to leave home and find a new job. The thought was scary.

This week was just supposed to be me taking a break and enjoying a complete break from my life. The idea came to me after reading a book I’d bought on Amazon about a guy who wanted a new life as a woman and had headed to London. That was too big a step for me and I saw the difficulties the lead character had that seemed insurmountable.

I was not really surprised by Jacks popularity, but it made me wonder what on earth he had seen in me to be so kind and then take me under his wing. Whilst I was tempted to emulate the experience of Wendy Ross in the book, I doubted that she would never have visited a place like this and put herself in danger of being exposed. I’d really wanted her story to have a happy ending but sadly it didn’t so a weeks adventure was going to have to be as far as I would go. Just an extended crossdressing experience with a chance to see life for a few days as a woman. It was certainly different.

I had already allowed myself to be sucked into a far more intense experience than I ever intended and in part it was caused by my bag and money being stolen but since then I hadn’t been alone for one minute. It was like I was being swept along in a tide since the moment my feet touched the platform when I arrived in London. I was seemingly accepted by a group of girls I hardly new and a guy was hitting on me. Did this mean that I was not just a guy who liked to crossdress? I was becoming more comfortable with situation and I had a nice feeling inside when I was with Jack. Was I gay?

Debs nudged me to bring me back to earth and pointed out that some of the artistes were mingling with the crowd and that one ‘girl’ was heading our way. She introduced herself as Blair and asked if this was our first visit to the club. She made it clear that she would sit and chat if we bought drinks and Laura and Jane made a space for her to sit between them. Blair was wearing a slit lightweight skirt that allowed her to display her long shapely legs and she crossed her legs in provocative fashion. Laura seemed to want to poke fun at her but she was far too clever and obviously used to smutty remarks.

Was this the sort of behaviour I could expect from people if I ever decided to dress full time like Wendy Ross had done in the book. Blair had obviously decided to capitalise on her good looks and shapely legs but she was heavily made up and her wig was really over the top. No way did I want to ever been identified as a drag artist. I did not want to be a caricature I just felt I wanted to explore my femininity.

Jack came over at last and said hello to Blair who he’d not met before and he suggested we might buy her a drink but no rounds of shots and no private dancing either. Laura took exception and said it was nothing to do with Jack what they did and he should go sit with his girlfriend and not spoil their fun. Blair looked to Jack who just nodded and shrugged his shoulders. ‘Laura you’ve been warned. You’ll never keep pace with Blair I assure you. You’ll regret it tomorrow.’

Laura and Jane moved tables and Blair sat with them and before long another artiste was sitting with them and a tray full of drinks appeared.

Jack said to ignore them and said the ‘girls’ knew how to look after themselves and would not let Laura and Jane drink themselves senseless. They were there to encourage customers to enjoy themselves and spend money with the target to get them to return or tell people they had a good time.

‘But they are drinking with Laura and Jane. Don’t they prefer men?’

‘They like to have fun and it’s not like there is any sex involved. They might flirt a bit and lots of lesbians come in here as well as gay men and straight men and women. The girls know how to handle themselves so there might be a private dance occasionally but nothing seedy. The club would be closed down.’

‘Debs said you worked her when you first came down to London and you worked up to being in charge as manager.’

‘Not exactly. I was really just the Bar Manager.’

‘So what made you give up at university and come here?’

‘I needed some space to find myself. Lots of the people I met here were finding themselves as well. I soon realised I wasn’t alone or different.’

‘Sorry Jack. It’s none of my business. It’s just that the job at Rules is so different to here.’

‘Yes Rules is like a rest home and it’s a stepping stone towards normality. Who knows I might find the girl for me and settle down one day if I’m lucky. ‘ He winked that caused a slight flutter in my stomach. I smiled and said I was sure that would happen.

We had a chat about the show describing as best we could to Jack about how large sections of the audience were standing and joining in the songs and how some even started dancing in the aisles. He wished he’d joined us and decided to buy tickets and think about who he might invite. He then said it would be a nice excuse for me to have another few days in London if I’d like to see the show again. I couldn’t stop myself from responding ‘That would be nice.’

Then I thought of the problems that started for Wendy Ross in the book when she allowed herself to weaken when she was hit upon by one of the other residents who rented an apartment in the same property. I needed some air and to stop myself from responding like this to Jack. We had another drink together with Jack keeping an eye on Laura and Jane and the two artistes who were now squeezed in the bench seat between Laura and Jane. There were quite a few empty shot glasses on the table and suddenly Laura stood up and fell against the table knocking them everywhere and lots smashed on the floor. Laura started swearing and was clearly not in control of her legs. Or her mouth for that matter.

The crowd moved away whilst staff cleared the mess and luckily there was another performance due so Blair and her friend headed backstage. Jack took charge and helped Laura to the door to leave with Jane following and holding on. We all decided to leave and Maggie said that was the last time the pair of them would be invited on weekends or to parties. I did wonder how Maggie, Debs and Sarah put up with their behaviour. It seemed that some younger women thought they should be ladettes and behave like stupid adolescents, the sort of young guys who had bullied others at school and thought they were superior.

Jack flagged down two taxis and he got in one with Jane and Laura whilst I was ushered into the other by Maggie along with Debs and Jane. It was already past 1 am so when we arrived back at the hotel we all gathered outside the entrance and once Jack was satisfied Laura was not going to be sick and could stand up and stop her ranting we went in and went to our rooms. I thanked Jack and he said he’d be in touch before we all checked out.

Once in our room I closed and locked the door behind us. Suddenly Sarah burst into tears and she sat on her side of the bed sobbing. I couldn’t stop her and so I put my arm around her shoulder. She said she was ashamed of Laura and Jane and that she had been scared in case their behaviour led to the police being called or fighting in the bar. They had spoiled the whole weekend and been rude to me and to Jack who was so nice. She wished she had a boyfriend like him.

I found some tissues to wipe her eyes and we hugged for ages before Sarah finally looked up at me and said she loved me and she hoped I’d be one of her best friends forever. I just nodded and tried my best to smile. Then I managed to persuade her to use the bathroom first and we both got ready for bed. After I turned off my side light Sarah snuggled up close to me and asked if I minded holding her until she fell asleep like her mother used to do. I just hoped she had no other ideas and daren’t close my eyes until I was sure she was fast asleep.