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A few days ago, I posted a blog in which I whined horribly about petty grievances.
I announced, quite pathetically, that I was going to take my ball and go home.
Over the next few days, I received about three dozen comments, PMs, and emails. They were almost universally encouraging and sympathetic. Some rightly called me out for the shortcomings I displayed.
Embarrassingly, I can’t even claim that I had acted out of passion, because I wrote the blog and let it sit for a number of days before posting it.
I have four children, ages 30 through 45. When they’ve come to me with personal problems over the years I’ve had a mantra.
Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating right? Are you getting enough exercise? Are you drinking alcohol moderately?
I’ve told them that most “issues” are driven by our physical and mental state rather than the facts of the issue itself.
Too bad I wasn’t around to give myself my own lecture before I posted my blog.
I rarely drink more than half a beer at a sitting, but sleep has been erratic these last several months. I have a fairly bland but healthy diet. Since covid struck, I’ve stopped taking walks and allowed dust to settle on my exercise bike.
My plan going forward is this:
1.) Immediately establish and follow a daily exercise program.
2.) Turn off all devices and TVs two hours before bedtime and go to bed at a decent hour every night.
3.) Cut back on commenting, blogging, and story reading for the near future. I need to clear my head.
4.) I’ve unpublished all of my BC free stories. In doing so, I ran across some little gems even I had forgotten. I’ll leave all stories unpublished. Over the next many months, I’ll go through them one by one, give them a thorough edit (or rewrite) and then republish (one at a time) -- asking Erin to allow them to flow through the front page, again.
5.) Start on a new novel. For the last few months, I’ve been somewhat blocked -- wondering how to deal with covid impact. That’s just an excuse. I need to buckle down and use all the anger I have toward our politicians to generate good stories.
6.) Thank everyone for being so kind and compassionate.
7.) Apologize for being too publicly human.
Jill
Comments
Hugs
Welcome home.
Love,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Suggested alternative to #2
You probably meant to turn off all those things??
I could be wrong.
Great Plan.
DD
Off
Thanks.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
I couldn't do number 2
unless I switched back to dead-tree-format books.
Welcome back!
Please bear with me, I am in comment training.
Deen
I'm glad you're not leaving
huggles!
I'm glad to see you
Love you
Glad to hear from you......
I look forward to seeing your re-writes and new work!
And I may steal some of your plan for myself, lol.
Be safe, be well.
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Still Love You
Hugs hon, you have my number. I'm here for you when life gets to much to handle by yourself. I beg your forgiveness for how I treated you when you were begging for help. I thank God you are strong enough to get hold of your emotions and return to all of us who care so deeply about you.
Is it too early to ask about the white pleated skirt and tank top? The cheerleader outfit. I know you have it. I saw you wearing it last year at the Arts Festival.
Hugs Jill,
Barb
PS: My TV hasn't been turned on in more than fifteen years now. Life is better without it.
Life is meant to be lived, not worn until it's worn out.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Number 8:
May I suggest a number 8? Try to persuade Efindumb to return.
-- Daphne Xu (a page of contents)
Agreed
Efindumb has great talent. Talent needs to be honed and a muse needs to be served.
BC is a GREAT place for writers.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
BC is Best
This is a good place for writers.
People know that I throw out stuff on the other place, but here I post only full stories and I am always pleased with responses I get, especially from other authors whom I respect.
Maryanne
the other place
Yes, but I do enjoy your pictures with captions at the other place.
Hello Angela
I was so pleased to read this message.
Welcome home.
I look forward the the return of your many stories
Most of all, I'm pleased you discerned the root of your funk and that you are doing something about it.
Depression is a terrible hole. I'm glad you found a way out.
Be well!
Red MacDonald
Coping with a tough spell.
We are only just waking up to the fact that the things we are dealing with now will not go away until it has run its course. I'll admit that I am fearful at times and don't cope with this reality as well as I should. Who am I to criticise another? Best wishes to you and all who exhibit human weaknesses.
Blessings
Gwen
A mistake is only really a problem if you fail to learn from it.
And in this case, I feel that you've learned what you needed to: that you need to spend a bit more time investing in yourself. Because you're worth it, hon. As a matter of fact, calling this whole thing a "mistake" is going a bit far on my part, since all in all you've handled it better than most others I've seen who let the stressors get to them.
Also, a note of praise: thank you for unpublishing your stories, NOT deleting them. That's a lesson I wish other writers would take to heart: you can take your stories down without deleting them, allowing you to preserve the input of others. It's a sign of someone who appreciates others that you didn't destroy the effort put in by them to give you feedback even in your emotional state.
You're awesome, Angie. I hope you never forget that again, but if you do, at least now you know you've got dozens of friends, and hundreds of fans, here and ready to remind you.
And to give you a kick in the tuckus, if that's needed as well.
Melanie E.
I'm glad you decided to stay.
I'm glad you decided to stay. Apologies are hardly necessary when we're all human. hugs
Hugs!
Rosemary
I am so SO glad you decided to come back
I find BCTS is a very good place to hang out, whether it is to lurk or to actively chat.
I hope you find a better space for yourself.
I'm glad you're sticking with us.
You have a great talent and I know all too well how doubts, nasty remarks and all the little barbs of life can add up and wear a person down and make them want to give up. I figured that you were stronger than to let that all get to you for long, and I'm glad to see that you realize it now too. Stick to your plan and remember that you have people here who care about you.
*big hugs*
Amethyst
Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3
"Hello, I must be going..."
...as Groucho Marx once famously sang. And I am so glad you're not!
Hope you can find a way to stay here that makes you glad you did.
~hugs, Veronica
,
,
(And this is also an excuse for yet another YouTube link
that seemed poignant to the occasion. From Animal Crackers, 1932.
Featuring Groucho Marx, Margaret Dumont + young Zeppo Marx,
who maybe should have been the one singing this song.
He left his brothers' comedy team + life as a film actor
to become a Hollywood agent + a mechanical engineer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YrNQaXdOxU )
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
I'm Highly Gratified
Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Thank you
and thank you....
Where even the orchestra...is beautiful!
Love, Andrea Lena
good to go
welcome to our sanitarium
wait that's just me
any ol who you got some good tales
thanx
ed
ed
No apologies needed for being human in public
You are a marvelous writer and editor and a truly honest and self reflective human being, and that is a wonderful thing indeed. It is better to have a crisis and be open about it than to hide it away or even worse deny it. No matter how skilled you may be in supporting your children, mate, family and friends, it is nigh on impossible for you to provide self care when you have a crisis. Doctors are their own worse patients and, as the old saying goes, a lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client.
The world would be a far better place if more people dropped their facades and showed their humanity in public. It give those of us who cherish emotionally honest humans the opportunity to engage, support, nurture and encourage those who need us in real time, it would much more difficult for people with a modicum of decency to engage in acts of indifference and hate to those of us who are "different" whether in gender identity and orientation, race, religion or nationality.
I'm happy you are staying/coming back.
"Hey! I resemble that remark!" (punning on "resemble" for "resent").
Yeah, I have parts if my life where every so so often, I get discouraged: "This is too hard, I'm getting too much flak, it's not going to work. I'll just go off and do something else." So, I have a bit of a feel for where you were 'coming from'.
A friend who had done (Alcoholics Anonymous) counseling told us (in a class) about their acronym of HALT - that we shouldn't let ourselves get:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired.
Or at least recognize it when we get that way, because that it is when we can make bad decisions. (Their advice is to deal with each 'letter', before making the decision.)
The Buddhist tradition gives special emphasis to Anger (Aversion) - so when I recognize it, I know I'm 'stuck with' finding a good way, or at least a non-harmful way, of dealing with it.
Looks like some of your 'self-treatment' items match up with HALT - and all of them make sense.
---
PS: Most sleep aids are for short term only, alcohol for one evening only. Diphenhydramine (has 'endless' brand names and combinations, gotta read labels) is not for those for us over 65.
---
Welcome back. I'll be watching for your posts and stories. :)
Apologise?
What for? I'm just so glad you're staying.....and we're all human (at least I think so).