I am drained, absolutely, but am not going to use the word.
Stupidly got myself involved with yet another Mental Health person, and I thought it was going really well. Then she also began to involve a second year Medical Student. I've been feeling some frustration and over the weekend, and later, hours after a phone session with the Med. Student I became tearful, and have remained that way for days.
It was not clear to me why I would feel that way at first. Now it is crystal clear to me that I have been wanting to talk with them on a subject that only a natural born woman would understand, and ME, (I) am not able to do that without them becoming creeped out. My own effort was centered upon describing female characters accurately in a story. Perhaps, while not my intention, it seemed I was asking her to talk about lewd things to her, I was not.
I've cleared my appointments with both of them and apologized. It seems that the things that I know exist can not be spoken of, (Like Voldemort)? Perhaps I am simply not capable of writing the emotional, romantic story that I wish I could? Too much pain to talk of it. Gwen "out".
Comments
all I have are huggles
but take as many as you like
What I've Been Told...
...and have read is that if you're not comfortable with the mental health people you're working with, keep choosing others until you find one that satisfies your needs. Whether you consider the cause your problem or theirs isn't relevant; I think most of them would tell you to move on -- but not stop trying. (I'd add that while face-to-face in the same room is a whole lot better, there are other alternatives these days, so even if the local choices are limited, it's not as massive a problem as it used to be.)
In this particular case, it sounds as though you could tell the original counselor that you're no longer comfortable with the the med student and would prefer to work with the person you're talking to or, if that's no longer practical for her, to get a recommendation from her for someone else.
I've spent decades with mental health professionals and never had to do any of that, but I've been told that before, and it seems to make good sense.
Best, Eric
What Dorothy and Eric said...
Hoping things looking less bleak after a nights sleep. And make sure to eat.
Sounds like time to reset ground rules with current therapist, or since current one knows quite a bit about you, could she recommend other suitable therapists? Just have her give you the names & numbers without current therapist calling them first. First check out the candidates on-line (ex: client reviews and comments), and then do 'cold calls'. Oh, and insurance ...
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Heck, I've got a 12+ questions for my next MD (insurance change forcing new doc). Mostly I need a doc who actually has a clue about my little 'problem': Which is that I'm vegan. Last time I was in hospital, food service tried to kill me - three times a day, every day ... That is trivial compared to your stuff.)
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Might you have a special 'natural' woman friend willing to take a sort of 'outline' for your story elements, and ask her for the details you need to insert, or ask her check how believable you've made your characters' dialog. Maybe offer pizza, dinner, a gift certificate as appropriate ...
As I said, a special friend - and I bet you don't want to out yourself about writing here ...
Hope you feel better soon...
Please feel better soon... have you tried requesting a LGBTQ... identified mental health professional? For me, that has been key typically for me finding therapists that I can be open with.
For the writing/woman’s thoughts/experiences, have you tried writing seminars/groups? I don’t have much personal experience with specifically writer’s groups but I did a women’s studies LGBT certificate in college and there was a lot of open discussion, even on normally taboo topics. Sending you some warm fuzzies... (hugs from a small stuffed kitten)
Here's a hug for you.
If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.”
― Toni Morrison