Someone has to be the Patsy!! Part 15 – Going Out

“Welcome to your home, Alice”, I said in my best girl “can we get you a drink?” She said that she now needed something strong and Joanne went off to get her drink. Alice looked at me and said “Please sit over here next to me Patsy. I had come here this afternoon wondering if I would have to lose some face with Al and cancel the Saturday night event and all that would ensue from that action. I can see now that we have a very good chance to make this work. I think that we now need a good story to back up your appearance in Nashville and figure some way that keeps Patrick from being asked for. Has your devious little mind come up with a solution?”

I paused for a few seconds and then said “Well the first thing I can see is how Patrick cannot be contacted. You were brilliant in sending him interstate to check auditions. Perhaps he can become a roving talent scout. You could still have your normal contacts supply you with new names to listen to but could keep a set of papers showing him as the scout so that anyone asking about him can be shown that he is presently in Alaska and he has picked up these previous artists. Of course, the real scouts would get their commission as usual. You have never signed him on, just paid a fee for some material to listen to; which could all be referred to as written for Patsy, his cousin from Florida.”

“As for me, I think that it would be foolish to call me Patsy Reece. I said Florida before as my mother has a sister who is married to a realtor in Orlando. She has never had much to do with us so would not be a problem. She and my mother had the family name of Rogers and my Aunt Rozlynne married a man called Robert Meyers so I could become Patsy Meyers in the short term. If there is anything semi-serious that needs a full name I could be Patricia Ruby Meyers who found out that her cousin was now in the music industry, sent him a few demos and came here to town to do the audition with you. If pressed I can come up with enough Meyers facts that would keep the casual interviewer happy but I am hoping that we can generate enough new interest the old stuff is not bothered about. How would that do?” I sat back and looked at Alice and the girls while they took it all in.

“So,” Alice said “if I sign you to K Beat it will be as Patricia Ruby Meyers. I can see that your commitment to Saturday night is now paramount in your mind and I can assure you that if you continue as Patsy we will be able to use some of our less glamorous contacts to get you full paperwork as Patsy that would enable you to get a new social security number and even a driving license or passport. We can fudge the records so that your birthday is the same date as your original one but a year later so you will now become eighteen – sound good?”

I nodded and then she asked the girls if they had anything to say. Lorraine said “I only met the true Patsy this morning and she is well on her way to being able to pass anywhere, including in a pool in a bikini. She is going to knock ‘em dead, not only on Saturday but for a long time to come.”

Joanne said that perhaps she should report on all that had been done so Alice was aware of other things that may need to happen. “Firstly,” she said, in a matter-of –fact way, “her hair is all her own; no wig or extensions needed. The rate it grows from my being told she used to go to the barber once or twice a year, means that we will not have to worry about the roots coming up muddy for some weeks. The face is merely good make-up but we enhanced the lips. The breasts are state-of-the-art and will not need to be taken off for skin cleaning for maybe a month, likewise with the vagina. Her size is almost perfect size ten but her hips need a bit of extra. Her legs are good because of all the walking she has done and I think we should have an exercise schedule for the three of us.”

“At the rate of beard growth previously I think that the laser on the face will be all that is needed and the body hair can be followed up if, or when, any regrows. The Adams apple is almost non-existent and her hands and fingers already look feminine as she has what is sometimes referred to as guitarist’s fingers. We have only practised walking this afternoon and need to top up the sitting and mannerism skills so I think that a good session tomorrow morning will see her ready and allow her an afternoon down in the studio as I can feel the vibe of songs bubbling around inside her.” She then gave Alice a memory stick with the photos of my transformation.

Alice had been making notes and then said “you have all done very well; if all of my employees had the level of commitment that you have we would be a much better company. Maybe you being around will rub off on others as you meet them as you have already given Carl and the band a shot in the arm. I am happy with the back-story and name you have proposed as it is not true but could be. I will need you, Patsy, to sign and employment agreement as Patrick in order to keep the IRS happy and we can make regular payments into that account to keep everything above board. At odd times you can transfer some to your new account and consider it a bonus as you will still be writing songs. When we get you some base paperwork as Patsy you will be able to register with the IRS and other authorities. We can say that you have never worked before so never needed official paperwork. Now, I think that you all deserve a break so I will take you all out for dinner. If you and Joanne go up to your room and find something a little more fancy to wear, but not the outfit Joanne intends for tomorrow evening. I will see if I can book a table.”

When I came down I had changed into the black leather skinny pants with the calf-high black boots and sparkly vivid red top that showed more than a bit of cleavage. Joanne had got me a red sparkly purse and filled it with all I may need. The body was ready but the mind suddenly screamed in fear of being the butt of ridicule. I stopped dead at the door and Alice took my arm on one side and Joanne latched on to the other and I was told I was fabulous and to think Whitney. Heads up, boobs out and strut – you are the star and everyone will bow to your magnificence! Much as I didn’t want to believe them it was sure nice to hear so I got in the car and we were off for a girls night out; another first time experience.

We ended up in the entertainment district and pulled into the carpark of what looked like another old theatre. I commented on this and Alice said there were a few around town as the movies had been big in Nashville and many of them doubled as stages for live music. This one turned out to be a theatre/restaurant with tables in front of the stage. As we walked up to the door a beaming, rotund, man came out with his arms wide and welcomed Alice like an old friend. He wanted to know who these ‘lovely ladies’ were and Alice told him that we were a new act that was just starting out. He gave us all a hug and said “Welcome lovely ladies, welcome to my humble eatery. I am Mario and I am sure that Alice has bought you here tonight as we have a karaoke competition on Friday nights, come on in and we will find you a table near the stage.” I looked over to Alice and just said “Oh, you are so wicked.”

We sat down and ordered our drinks and meals, Alice having bourbon while the girls and I kept on soft drinks. The meal was excellent and I thought that if this keeps up I am going to have to get a lot more exercise. The competition started and there was a line-up of the proverbial good, bad and downright ugly and then Mario got on the stage and told the audience that they were in for a treat as they would be the first to hear a new group in town who would be taking K Beat to the top of the charts. No pressure again – right!!!

Part 16 – Karaoke

I gave Alice a bit of a stare as I got up from the table. She said ‘Go get them, girl”. The three of us went up on stage and Mario said “What do you want” to which I replied that I would like three microphones side by side as we were a group, not individual singers. While he got that organised I had a look at the karaoke play list and pointed a couple out to the girls. They nodded their heads with smirks appearing on their faces then Mario told the crowd they were in for a treat. I am sure that this was his job but it would all go to pot if we clammed up on the opening lines. I stepped up to my microphone and told the crowd that we would not be in the running for the competition prize as we may be professionals and introduced the girls and me before hitting the go button on the karaoke. Immediately the opening of ‘Stop, in the name of love’ swelled up we hit it with full force. It felt wonderful to be on a stage and singing again after a stressful few days. The girls were magnificent and we belted our way to the end of the song when the crowd went wild, clapping and cheering. Mario came back on stage and asked the patrons what they thought and someone shouted ‘More!’

Mario said that it was not often a karaoke singer was asked back and asked us if we would do another. I pointed out “Dancing in the street’ to the girls and they nodded. I told them that we would have to alternate lead on this and hit the play button. I took the first then Joanne took up the next verse with Lorraine chiming in after with all of us singing the ‘dancing in the street’ line. I looked down at Alice sitting at the table and she was grinning broadly with her phone aimed at us. We got to the end and the crowd still shouted more. I asked Mario if there was a guitar in the place that I could use and he scurried off and quickly came back with an enormous Gretsch Country Gentleman semi acoustic. “I play myself; there is a wireless transmitter in the jack which is linked into the PA”.

I played a chord to check the tuning and the sound came through clearly. I did have to swap my bracelets from my right wrist to the left. After saying to the girls that we will sing ‘Wait’ I stepped up to the microphone and said “Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Do you think this guitar looks big on me?? “There was a bit of laughter so I carried on “At least I will have something to hide behind if you start throwing bread rolls. I know it’s odd to have a karaoke night and then see a singer on stage not using the machine. The reason is that this song is not on the machine is because we recorded it only last week. This is “I’ll wait for ever”. We then sang our new song to the public for the first time and as the last chord faded away people stood up and cheered loudly.

We stood there on the stage with big smiles on our faces and tears in our eyes. I think it is going to work. Someone shouted ‘more’ again so I said “At the moment we do not have more of our recorded work that is suitable as the rest of it, at present, is only good for dance clubs. However, I will sing you a song that is so new that no-one has heard it played, not even me. It has been growing in my head over the last few days and reflects the changes I have experienced. I do beg of your forgiveness if it turns out to be rubbish so here goes. I call it ‘The Changeling’”. I turned to the girls and said that the chorus line is ‘Things they are changing, everything is changing’ sung twice. They repeated it back to me and I stepped up to the microphone again. This would be Patsy’s true debut. I played my intro tune and started singing.

“I used to live in Orlando, not far from Disneyland
But now I’m here in old Nashville and singing with a band”

I nodded to the girls and we sang the chorus. I then doodled around the chord.

“I’m not sure how it happened but, there’s folk think I’m a star
They tell me I’ll be famous soon; they say that I’ll go far”

Again we did the chorus and I doodled again.

“I never thought too much about my dressing or my looks
But now it seems that I must buy new fashions found in books”

Chorus (I could see people swaying in their seats, wow!)

“I was once drab and blended with the normal thronging crowd
But now I’m blessed to be well dressed and told to stand up proud”

Chorus (I could see some people singing along with us now.)

“I was alone in mind and soul, existed, yes, no fun
My world was dark, an endless night, but now I see the sun”

Chorus (yes, I could definitely see them singing along.)

“I may be young but still I thought there was no one for me
But I must say my hearts been caught, with loving eyes I see”

Chorus

“The future is an unknown thing, and who could plot its track
But it’s easier when you know you love - and you know that they love back”

We did the chorus for the last time and at the end I sang

“I am the Changeling” and played the final chord.

Well, the house erupted, I took off the guitar and gave it back to Mario and we took our bows. When I turned away from the microphone Joanne gave me a rib-cracking hug and I could see tears running down her face and then Lorraine hugged me and I took their hands and we walked off the stage and back to our table. “Did we get them, Alice?” I asked. “In spades, girls, I am just so proud of the three of you; it was a wonderful performance off the cuff”.

We finally were able to have our desserts and then some coffee but it was difficult as people were coming over to us all of the time to congratulate us and to assure us that they would be buying our records as soon as they came out. A few even wanted me to sign their menus! Mario sat down and told us that he would be happy to host the full band if we stuck to the ballads as there was no room in the place for dancing. Alice said that she would keep it in mind. Mario then said that our meals were on the house as payment for our set.

Back in the car we were all quiet for a while. Lorraine was in the front with Alice and Joanne and I were in the back seat holding hands. Alice then told us that she had recorded our performance on her phone as four individual songs as well as my intros. She then said that she had sent them through to her computer in the office and also a set to Sarah. She said that it was a rare event at Mario’s for the patrons to be so enthusiastic as the usual Friday crowd was only there to have fun at the expense of the bad karaoke singers. She dropped us off at the house saying that she may see us on Saturday during the day. Lorraine gave Joanne and me a hug each and drove away in her car; which left just the two of us. We opened the door and went in, hand in hand.

Marianne G 2020