Writing an honest Female Character

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For over 10 years I had a Phd Psychologist at the VA who I thought at first was a help. Then I realized that she seemed to suck my brains out at each session, and then to sift my consciousness and finally put it back in. One day, I finally understood that and on my way home decided that I'd had my last session with her. I went almost a year without a counselor, then one afternoon, walking up the street realized that there was no reason to live. Not wanting to end it without thinking things out, I walked into the office of a clinic and told them I just wanted to talk to someone to see if it was time to suicide and that I'd like to make an appointment. Much to my surprise I was seeing someone in about an hour and a half.

Pleasantly, we just talk and she does not seem to try to guide or program me. Today, via Video, due to the Corona Isolation thing, I had related my frustration with trying to write a believable female character, and that spilled over to my frustration with the way men often treat women. I told her about a female writer of a Video Game, who had, I thought written a very nice Video game. Her company thought that the game needed to be spiced up, so gave her work to another programer, a male. When he finished, the company liked the results. She looked at what he had done, and her respectfully attired female characters were now indecently attired and there was a great deal more violence in the game. Should I be surprised?

I was amazed that my counselor could hear the story I told and remain calm. I have a profound sense of injustice that women could tolerate such a steady stream of male domination, and that fills me with anger. I can see now that to write a realistic female character is something that is beyond most men and it makes me sad. There are a few male authors who can do it among the herd of them that seem to simply be trying to live out their adolescent fantasies.

Comments

Gwen -

Gwen you should have learned by now that women see both sides of most things because they have two eyes - in their head.

Men can only see one thing because they only have one eye - in their penis!

bev_1.jpg

Writing with Strong women character is not easy

especially if other members of their family are not supporting her. We are conditioned (largely thanks Advertising Agencies and the Media) to accept meek and mild women. The moment we see a strong woman, she stands out. Not as much as the main character in 'Kill Bill' but she is generally the odd one out. Then there is the question of age. Women are not expected to rebel and be totally eccentric. Men are tolerated much more in this area.
I've written a story where a 60yr old woman rebels and does what she wants. After decades of conforming she decides that it is time for her to start to live as least paritally as she'd dreamed about (and written it down in her diaries) all her life. It was real fun writing about her second childhood and to hell with what her family want. I did spice it up a bit with her having two particularly nasty daughters who she gives the finger to. Well, they did want her to move into a retirement complex and give them control of her money.
I'm not sure if I'll publish it here as it really isn't TG although there is a TG character in it but in a supporting role.
I kinda like fiesty older women. They are not what society wants to neatly pigeon hole. "Keep clam dear. Don't go exciting yourself". You could see that being said to a heavily corsetted woman in Victorian times but society is really conditioned to want that to be how women are portraied today.
As for the way women are depicted in Video Games... Well, that is part of the reason why I never got into them at all. Making all the women long legged, big breasted beauties is there for the adolescent males who according to the advertisers are the main buyers and players of these games. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Samantha

Bru Is Right

In fact, there is one of the newer authors here who's Non-TG stories posted are equal to or more than their TG stories posted. Personally, I scan the header and if it says Non-TG I skip it. In a few cases I end up blocking the author. I queried Erin who said it was permitted.

As for the well-known misogyny of the gamer world you only have to look back at Gamergate a few years back to see it fully in action.

Gamergate - Vox Oct. 13, 2014
and
Gamergate Controversy - Wikipedia

Personal Note: I am not a gamer of any kind. However, I am a big fan of Anita Sarkeesian.


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Here It's Simply Not Done

There's fiction -- and then there's fiction written for BC.

In fiction there is the denouement. That's when it all comes together and everything becomes clear and settled.

In BC fiction the denouement is supposed to lead to a happily ever after female life for the protagonist. If possible, several male villains should be severely punished in the process.

Over twenty years ago I wrote a story called Real Life Test. It is slice of life piece which illustrates that reaffirming surgery is not a magic wand, in all cases. It was not well received even though it may have been one of my better stories.

As BC writers we are shaped by the reactions not only to our stories but to all the other stories.

The other night the Rolling Stones did a live performance of You Can't Always Get What You Want. It was amazing and so true. Readers don't always get what they want. Writers don't always get the reactions they want. Characters don't get to do what they want.

In some of my best stories the reader suddenly realizes she's been walking North for blocks ignoring all the You're Going North signs, when she clearly needed to go South.

I'm no expert but it seems ignoring the BC "rules" on female characters might be a good thing now and then.

Jill

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Jack Nicolson's character in

Jack Nicolson's character in As Good As It Gets snarkily said to a woman that when he writes about women he takes a man and removes reason and accountability. I try to do the opposite and give all-female character free moral agency. I try to make the "bad guy" men, women, and everything in between while making allies men, women, and everything in between. A villain anime character once said, "Admiration is the farthest thing from understanding." If every protagonist is "admired" by all of the other characters, the author, and the reader you might have a problem.

"You Just Don't Understand"

Deborah Tannen is a Linguistics professor at Georgetown and has written several fascinating books, primarily on interpersonal communication (you may already be familiar with them). She's not a psychologist dealing with thoughts and intentions; as a linguist she examines what's actually spoken aloud, and from there she works back to the intentions. Here's an Amazon link:

Deborah Tannen books on Amazon

The Subject line above is the title of her most well-known book, an amazing study of male and female ways of speaking, showing their different worldviews, etc. Also great fun -- if "fun" can also include the occasional teeth-clench of recognition -- is You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation but her other titles (not all of which I've yet read) look to be filled with great insights about gender-specific behaviors as well.

I've found her examples a rich source of real world experiences, some of which I recognize and some are new to me, but valuable both in my writing and in my everyday relations with people.

Karin

Female characters

I find it hard to write from a male point of view, because it is a foreign country to me. I end up extrapolating, and tend to use them as foils for the women in my stories.

As for writing a female character, that is both simpler and more complex, simultaneously. First, build your character. Get a solid back story in place, so that you know who they are. Then (the simple bit) let them speak to you.

Yep

Andrea Lena's picture

it's listening to them tell me WHO they are.

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena