Finding Julia Chapter 14
By Julie D Cole

I walked over to the table where our good friend Maria was on duty so I almost turned back in case she barred me again. She smiled and handed me a bottle and even lifted the cap for me.
‘You look very pretty today Julia. So does Eve. Please tell her I said so. There is going to be a cold buffet lunch in the open air dining area so I think you’ll be fine dressed as you are. I hope that you’ve thrown those awful boy-shorts away that you were wearing on your first evening.’ She winked as she said it.
I tried to smile and took a sip of water managing a quiet thank you. I felt her eyes following me as I returned to my seat next to Eve. She took my hand and asked if I was OK and I nodded and she’d seen I was talking with Maria. I thought it was better not to say anything apart from her saying we both looked nice.
‘Funny she saw us earlier at breakfast and she didn’t say anything to me.’
‘Well I’m only the messenger. She even had the audacity to wink at me.’
‘Forget it she is not being serious. It’s her sense of humour.’
Eve looked around the audience that had grown quickly. There were at least 50 people and probably more. She then whispered and reminded me that there were men at this seminar who were happy to be there and I didn’t need to feel uncomfortable.
I looked around as best I could before the speakers took their seats without being seen to stare. I supposed I could have identified a few if pushed but in an audience like this at a seminar about the LGBT community it wasn’t as if any of them needed to dress and act like fashion models. Eve then told me that in fact 80 had registered and she knew that at least six were in transition. There were a few transvestites and the rest were females attending as couples or in groups of three or four.
‘You see that you have nothing to fear about dressing in feminine style. It suits you and you are as pretty as anybody here. Nobody here is going to judge you if you want to express your femininity and all I can say is that you are a different person now compared to three months ago. You are completely relaxed and a lot more self-confident like this. I’ve fallen in love with you all over again,’
‘But Eve I feel so strange now and I worry. It seems wrong and if this gets back to my friends at home or at work then I’m going to be an outcast forever. My boss will ridicule me even more than she does. I know she found out that I’ve cross dressed and been out and that I once posted photographs on the internet. She implied as much when she was working for me and she’s taken advantage of the situation ever since.’
‘Maybe you are right but then again maybe not. It’s down to you to deal with her and confront her in my opinion but you have to decide what you really want and whatever your decision I’m here to help. You know where you ended up by staying silent and I watched you lose all your confidence and slide into deep depression. I almost gave up on you if it hadn’t been for your mum and your sister. I hope you’ll listen today and that we’ll all benefit.’
‘But you can’t be happy to see me like this. I’m like a girl.’
‘I like girls and I like some men. I have many lesbian friends and I had boyfriends before I met you. I chose you. Well you chased me in actual fact and I let you catch me.’
‘But I never let you see me cross dressing. Who blabbed?’
‘Nobody. I saw some of my things had been disturbed when you stayed over and I found some more evidence in your room at home. Then I was looking at your phone over your shoulder one day and thought you had a library of photos of your sister. When I met her I knew they weren’t photos of her.’
‘What did you do about it?’
‘Nothing for a while because I didn’t want to upset you.’
We had to stop chatting since Ann Nightingdale, the Chairlady stood up to welcome everybody. She introduced each speaker in turn and thanked Professor Nightingdale for taking the trouble to be with us considering her busy schedule and then she ran down the agenda for the 2 day event.
Eve had opened her laptop and was making notes already and had the papers already in her file. I noticed that she had the papers before we’d left the UK so why she hadn’t told me I didn’t know.
Ann outlined the schedule of events for the International Conferences that would take place over the forthcoming year and how to apply to submit papers or to attend. I doubted anybody from BiCon would write papers but it would be interesting to read some of them. I didn’t expect that we’d be going to any although Eve might have other ideas.
Professor Nightingdale then stood up to warm applause of welcome for giving up valuable time. Her voice seemed familiar as well as her face as she started her keynote address. It was accompanied by a few presentation slides on a large screen. She then told us that she has agreed to do a separate presentation in the afternoon since one of the speakers had cancelled. She said that she would focus on transgender issues and outline some of her case experiences.
Her speech touched on many things and she emphasised that in her own analysis covering the last 50 years there had been an acceleration in the acceptance of the LGBT community. She felt that she hoped that the same progress could be made with the right to choose gender because there were far too many incidents of abuse, bullying and violence. But more worrying to her was the rise in suicides as families rejected those facing this dilemma.
One of the presentations would discuss the changes in society attitudes towards gay men and lesbians but made an assessment of the number of men and women living painful lives closeted away in fear of exposure. More often their lives were being ruined through no fault of their own and talent was being supressed.
Eva whispered to me that she had many patients on her books who felt trapped in the wrong bodies coming from all walks of life and she had helped many come to terms with the problem and go on to flourish.
‘Where does she practice?’
‘In Manchester so it’s not so far from us.’
‘Maybe I’ve seen her around Manchester she does seem familiar.’
She handed over to Ann to introduce the next presenter and sat back down to a round of applause. I looked around and was surprised how everybody seemed satisfied to be listening to lectures when we were in such a beautiful location with wall to wall sunshine. By now me included.
The next presenter led us up to a coffee break with her topic - Is Transgender a Mental Illness. Eve nudged me and said that the presenter worked alongside Professor Nightingdale at an Institute in Manchester and I should listen carefully. She explained that she was in fact transgender herself but she had the softest and most feminine voice albeit a little husky. I recalled seeing her by the pool the day before. She was beautiful and had removed her bikini top to avoid white bits.
‘Are you sure she is transgender I saw her yesterday. I thought she was a model.’
‘Of course she is. I’ll show you her profile on my computer later. I met her in Manchester for lunch one day along with Ann Nightingdale to get some advice.’
‘What sort of advice?’
‘Ssh. Listen people are looking at us.’
Her name was Georgina Kennedy and she had changed her name from George to avoid any confusion. She had new documents and a new passport and was properly registered as female that she had considered a priority.

I listened carefully as she related her experiences in her early teenage years and she’d had a variety of consultations as she struggled with her identity. Her family had rejected her pleas to live as a girl and failed to understand her problems. She was adamant that she was a girl despite having male genitalia. She hated living in a boys body. She had been bullied and beaten several times growing up and eventually her parents referred to a psychiatrist who had tried to convince her that she was a boy and arranged for full examinations to prove it. In the end he recommended that she be sent to an all male school to be surrounded by other boys and take up boys activities.

It was a sad story because it made things worse. She ran away and eventually was found miles away on a bridge about to jump into the Manchester ship canal. By a stroke of luck a passer-by stopped and talked to her. She listened to her and tried to understand what had driven her to such extreme action. As luck would have it that passer by was Professor Nightingdale who stopped her car and ran to her. After persuading Georgina to climb down she took her home and sat at spoke at length to her parents.
She maintained contact and eventually convinced the family that it had been a mistake to treat her problem as a mental illness and to let her help. During the next 3 years Georgina was allowed to dress as a girl and immediately moved to a new school to finish her education. She thrived in the new environment making friends with other girls and being totally accepted. Eventually that resulted in hormone treatment and bust enhancement. She was due to have her final surgery within the coming 12 months.
There were quite a few questions from the audience and she explained the mental torment she had experienced that was first of all due to her being bullied and then rejection. She explained that she just wanted to be normal and to be loved. Her family were shocked that their reaction and actions had caused such pain to her.
Professor Nightingdale looked a little embarrassed at the accolades especially when Georgia turned to her and said she was forever grateful to her for stopping that day and giving her chance to be happy. Her parents were equally happy to have a daughter and they were no longer ashamed.
At the coffee break I queued whilst Eve made her way to talk to Georgia and when she came back she said she’d arranged for her to sit with us and Pips and Jenna at lunch. I was a bit surprised but very happy to get the chance to ask her questions. I started to get flashbacks of something that had happened to me and I wondered if she really would have jumped in the canal.
I couldn’t remember much about the next two presentations before lunch since my mind was all over the place and I was feeling in a daze. I tried sneaking off to the bathrooms and took the chance for some fresh air. After 5 minutes I felt well enough to go back to my seat. Eve checked that I was OK and I told her not to worry.
When we broke for lunch Eve found us a table with the help of Maria who arranged for a waitress to find Georgina and show her where we were. Close up she was even more striking than she’d looked on stage or by the pool. She was quite a bit taller than me but probably that was her heels. She acted as if she knew me.
We had a cold drink then headed to the buffet. I was standing next to Georgina helping myself to salad when Professor Nightingdale approached and smiled at Georgina and complemented her. Then she turned to me.
‘Hello Julia you look very pretty today. I am pleased to see you here with Eve and you’ve already caught the sun so take care please. You have fair skin.’
I managed to smile and say hello. How did she know my name? We’d never met as far as I was aware.