Today's top story.
Santa has little choice but to cancel Christmas this year. Apparently jolly old nick has not fully recovered from last years incident where a redneck blasted him with a facefull of buckshot for apparent breaking and entering.
Rudolf and Cloe are burnt out from having multiple fawns. All does, though they all have healthy glows and are popular with the other fawns.
Yukon Cornelius has been charged with multiple offenses after being caught selling Doenip, the newest narcotic to hit Christmas town, to an underaged elf for reasons unknown. Sources say that Yukon may have tried to make a claim on her.
Also in the lastest fashion news many of the female elves have followed suit to the former Chris kringle junior who now goes by the name Christine. The white fur trimmed heavy coats with leather white fur trimmed gloves seems to be all the rage.
Price of venison is not expected to rise any time soon after a recent lack of food caused the antlered reindeer to fight to death. Doenip may have been involved.
On other news the abomidiable snowman seems to have disappeared. Any information leading to his wear abouts would be appreciated.
Hermy has been aquitted of malpractice dental work with the disappearance of Abomidiable. However police suspect that the large amount of laughing gas he has been ordering may account for his almost constant smile and periods of scary laughter.
Still no word on where mrs claus has been. Last reports include a trip to hot springs in vegas and a show of some type.
On the good news Amazon has donated a number of returned toys to this years Christmas. Though it is uncertain as to the condition of said toys.
Thank you this has been your Midnight news cast on Christmas eve.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
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Comments
sounds like an eventful Christmas
wow!
And in late breaking news
The delivery of presents to many homes has been delayed by the excess of packaging on items shipped from a store with a smiley face on their boxes.
Many are far too big to go down chimneys. Representatives of the company have promised to 'to better next year'.
Samantha
{who has had to take in far too many cardboard boxes for neighbours this year}
I've always been lucky with deliveries
My neighborhood while mostly older small lower middle class houses, it is a small quiet community and nothing ever happens here. Then there is a huge tall juniper that hides most of my small front porch from view of the road so even I can't tell there is a box on my porch until I'm almost walking up the steps.
We the willing, led by the unsure. Have been doing so much with so little for so long,
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
I received an email
From another here on BC, asking If I had read the latest NPN and telling me that I must get Meri up there immediately so she can straighten out that mess...LOL
We the willing, led by the unsure. Have been doing so much with so little for so long,
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
Wonderful!
Wonderful and hilarious!
At first, I wondered what Doenip was -- my mind couldn't wrap around the word, although I knew it had to be some kind of illegal drug. Eventually, I did manage to parse apart "doe" and "nip" from "catnip". (Just now, it occurred to me that "nip" might have come from "nipples".)
-- Daphne Xu
Meanwhile, those who are ...
... of different 'books':
A) Report the Light is coming back after Northern Hemisphere's December Solstice, being slowly 'stolen' from the Southern Hemisphere.
B) Tell us that the lamp oil has again lasted for those Eight Days, and they hope the Light will continue throughout year.