CHAPTER 34
There was a lot more discussion, but in the end, it was quite a simple process, if long-winded. Bennett agreed to send everything necessary to the Cannock house, where Dad would arrange for Carol or Pete to pick up the mail and forward it to one of our safe places on the road.

“Will she be able to apply for a provisional licence now? Start driving and that?”

“I can’t see why not, Mr Petrie. She’s old enough, and you have a permanent residence, even if you don’t actually seem to reside there very permanently. Forms are in any Post Office. You will just need to put her on your insurance, of course"

Mam held up a hand.

“She sat her O-levels, and she did well in them. What about the name on them?2

“Send us some details, and we will contact the examination board. Should be no problem. Are you looking at going on to further education, Debbie?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Grants come from local authorities. You may have some issue in showing which one should pay for your studies”

I looked at Dad, and he smiled. I knew the answer already.

“Mr Bennett, I don’t think I am really university material. Not got the best background for long-term study, have I? Dad and me, and Mam, we have a sort of plan for a career, so don’t worry about it. If I change my mind, what do I do?”

“I would suggest applying from Cannock, as that’s where you have a sort of paper trail. You don’t need to make any decisions right now, and you would need A-levels or something similar, so a lot to consider”

“We all done, then?”

“I do believe we are, Miss Wells. May I make a personal comment?”

“Depends. What do you want to say?”

“Just that I think your choice of gender is obviously the right one. That, and the fact that I have rarely met anyone with so much courage”

“Bollocks! That lad in Carlisle is the one you should look to!”

He shuddered.

“I take your point. You should know that some of my colleagues at our Southport office are working to… Are helping to update records regarding the identities of those found buried. I don’t envy them their task. Thank you for your assistance, and may I wish you all the best for your future life”

We all shook hands, and then my family walked out into the light rain of Cardiff. Mam found a little café near the Cathedral, and we settled down to some cheese on toast and big mugs of tea. Dad was pensive, so I took his hand.

“Penny for them?”

“Ah, duck, I don’t think they’re done. That copper, the woman, she wanted a result from you”

“I thought it was the PC that was the pushy one”

“No, Debbie, not so. He wanted something about your men, but he didn’t know what. He just knew he should be outraged, disgusted, all that sort of stuff, even if he didn’t know the details. Probably reads the shit newspapers, Express or Mail. He’s got the highlights calling to him. That woman, though: she wanted blood. Not yours, duck. There were coppers involved in that place in Carlisle”

“It was coppers who kept putting me back into that place in Runcorn, some of the cunts even stopping for tea”

Mam laughed out loud at that word.

“Oh, Debbie, love, say what you really think, why don’t you?”

I couldn’t help laughing myself, the mood broken at last. Dad squeezed my hand.

“Got a market in Bridgend, girls, then another right out at Carmarthen. There’s a wholesaler nearby we can stock up at. Then we shall be off to the Farmyard. That suit you both?”

The weather continued in a more typically Welsh way for the next two weeks, wet and windy in that nasty way in which the dampness gets inside your clothing, leaving your fingers white and wrinkled. We all shared the big bed in the van for a few days, the rattle of the rain on the roof driving away sleep, but when the weekend of the Farmyard finally arrived, the weather miraculously cleared, the pavements steaming in the brightness of the sun.

I wondered what sacrifices Gandalf had made to the gods. Two rally virgins staked out for the badgers? Never mind; we had sunshine and a little warmth, and as long as we parked the van carefully, the ground should hold up for our exit. I did some of the driving this time, especially the last part that took us through the little lanes that rarely saw a copper.

“Debbie!”

“Hiya Gandalf! Usual spot?”

“Na, best to park up over that side. Got a little boggy where you usually set up. I’ve left some coconut matting there for you to put under the wheels, in case it turns shitty again. Sam’s in the marquee. Rosie will be along in a couple of hours”

There was something slightly off in the way he said the latter, but never mind. I parked the van where he had indicated, and Mam took over the wheel as Dad and I laid the matting out for her to reverse onto. Up went our stand, as well as the big tent, and we spent some time ensuring that our tarps and waterproof sheets were Just So and guyed out tightly.

“Debbie!”

“Hiya, Samwise!”

“What have you got with you this time?”

“Usual stuff, mate. What do you need?”

“Something waterproof. Stop the rain going down my neck”

“Cowboy hat do you?”

“Why would I want a cowboy hat?”

I pulled one out from under the stand, guessing his size.

“Leather, mate. Use some dubbin, or some of that stuff for leather saddles, and it’s waterproof. The brim stops the rain getting down your collar, and shades your eyes from the sun, if we get any”

“Oh! Cool! If you tell me how much, I’ll ask Dad!”

I made a quick decision.

“No, Sam. Take this one as a present”

“It’s not my birthday!”

“Yes, but you’re still one of my best two friends ever”

“Who’s the other one?”

“Rosie, of course. Where is she?”

“She’ll be down soon. Living with her boyfriend now. I like the hat! Cool!”

He was off, trying different angles for the hat, and my suspicions about his sister were confirmed thirty minutes later, when Rosie arrived on her own bike, a little Honda 250. My eyes went straight to the man she had followed onto the site, and of course it was Carl. My guts twisted for a few seconds, fitting Sam’s words about where she lived into the despair I still felt over that weekend at the other rally, but at the same time, I understood where we sat in life. She was my best friend, as I had explained to her brother, and she had a right to be happy, and Carl was…

Fuck you, Charlie Cooper, fuck you and all of your kind, and how you destroy children. I pulled my dignity around me, with some effort, but they were who they were, and if life wouldn’t let me in, surely I could feel joy for the two of them, two people I loved? I walked over to them, after a quick nod to Mam.

“Rosie! Carl! Got news for me, Sam says!”

Rosie’s eyes were downcast at first, then she looked hard at me, a challenge in her flat stare as she held out her left hand to show me a ring.

“Makes putting my gloves on a faff, Debbie”

I took the extra steps forward, pulling her into a hug, and waving Carl forward, as Rosie’s composure broke into tears.

“I’m sorry, Debbie!”

“Don’t be, love. Good woman, good man, suited to each other: what’s to be sorry about?”

She murmured something else, as Carl squeezed us both, and I found my own words.

“You both know about me. You know what those bastards did to me, and it isn’t something I can move on from, so just let me be happy that you two are. We got a deal?”

Carl’s hug got tighter, and he whispered, “You have class, Debbie Petrie”

I disengaged, smiling at them both through my own tears.

“Debbie Wells, now, Debbie Petrie Wells. We got it all sorted out, official like. I’m legally an adult now, so there’s nothing they can do to me. Time to move on, love”

He winced slightly at that, so I changed the subject.

“Sam’s got a new hat, so expect him to want to talk about it. Now, I can smell the food tent’s open, so who wants to treat me to a bacon sarnie and a cuppa?”

I stayed with them as long as I could for politeness, but not too long, and found myself sitting at the gate with Gandalf for a while.

“You’ve sorted stuff out with my daughter, then? She was really worried you’d take it wrongly, what with your history, you and him”

“All sorted. She’s been my friend since I first met her, best friend, yeah? Things are what they are. My… I can’t let go, Gandalf. Too much history. Let them who can have their happy times. I manage”

He nodded, sitting quietly for a few minutes.

“I named them both from the book, Debbie. Got it a bit wrong, I did”

“Eh?”

“Lord of the Rings, girl. You read it?”

“Yeah. Mam got me it, showed me all the language stuff in it”

“OK. Who’s the hero of the book?”

“Er, Frodo”

“Nope. It’s Sam Gamgee. Nothing Frodo did would have worked without Sam. He even carried Frodo up Mount Doom, right at the end. Goes back and marries Rosie, last words in the book are him coming home to her. That’s why I picked the kids’ names. As I said, I got it wrong. Sam’s a good lad, but he never got all the way there, did he?”

“Nothing wrong with him, apart from… He’s a little slow at times”

“Yup. Then whatever magic I wanted from his name ended up in his sister. Should have called her Samantha, that one. She’s the loyal one, the fighter. I watched her with Carl, Debbie, and it was always there, how she fancied him, but she could see how you felt, so she stayed out of the way. Loyal, aye? Remember that, love. She will always have your back. Sam’s the same, though he’d need a push to see what’s what. Now. You and your Mam dancing tonight? We have the usual disco for Friday, and a really good band for Saturday”

“I think we’ll be up for them both, Gandalf”

“Good. Now, that your Mam waving to you? Time you were back to work, girl. And remember”

“Remember what?”

“You will find your own way in life. Can’t be pushed, but it helps if you keep your eyes open”

I made the most of the weekend, rocking out as predicted on both evenings, but all through it I was wondering what life could possibly offer something like me.