CHAPTER 7
Gandalf put a couple of fingers into his mouth and gave a piercing two-not whistle, something I had seen on screens large and small but thus far never in real life. A couple of children of around my age came running up, grinning with excitement.

“Rosie, Sam: We want two pints for Badger and his missus, and a hot choc for Debbie here”

The boy laughed.

“Two pints of what, Dad?”

Ken interrupted before the hairy man could answer.

“Tea for now, Samwise, thinking about it. Get set up with a sensible head on. Mate, we’ll grab the real pints later, if you don’t mind”

Both children sprinted off, still laughing, and Loz and I followed the rolling and swaying Commer to the hedge that ran down the side of the open grass of the field. Ken stepped out, and under his directions I helped them haul the unhitched trailer to one side before he turned the van so that it lay parallel to the hedge, nearside to the field. He then clambered up a short ladder to reach the roof-rack, where he started passing down bags and bundles before unsnapping the hooks holding down the trailer’s tarp. Once again, I remembered a night in a boat by the Dee, then one half-buried in sand on a goods train.

Lorraine caught the shudder I felt.

“You OK, love? Cold?”

“No. sorry. Just memories… Can I ask a question?”

“Course!”

“Why are you two doing all this for me?”

Ken heard, and the two of them shared a look for a couple of seconds, before Lorraine turned back to me.

“Not just now, love. Just be clear that there’s nothing you need to worry about with us two. We can talk when it’s quiet, if you don’t mind, but just now, I think you need us, and we are happy to help. Long stories on both sides. Anyway, here’s the kids with the refreshments. Knowing those two, they’ll want to help with the stand, so hush, just for a while”

The chocolate was wonderful, something I hadn’t had since my last visit to my maternal grandparents’ home, but it helped in other ways, as it served as an excuse not to get involved in chatter with two excited and garrulous children. Lorraine had been right, and they dove into ‘assisting’ us with the stand and tent.

We ended up in a neat little encampment. The stand lay parallel with the van, the space between the two closed off at one end by the frame tent I had showered in, a number of canvas and nylon sheets forming a continuous roof over the three structures. A number of guy ropes secured the assembly, and ken grinned as he reminded me that we were in wildest and wettest West Wales, so weatherproofing was essential.

We three smaller people had the job of laying out the lighter merchandise, such as sunglasses, fingerless leather mitts and the wallets on chains. I saw some of the odd leather items we had picked up over the border, and when I asked ken what they were, Sam started roaring with high-pitched laughter.

“Rally virgin!”

Loz slapped playfully at his head.

“She’s not well, Sam, so don’t even THINK about it! Debbie: the leather strap things are can holders. Belt loop, hangs down by their side, they fit two cans of beer in, so their hands are free. Some people like them”

Ken laughed in his own, deeper way.

“Yeah, and one thing we learned a long time ago is that we don’t tell paying customers if they look stupid! Now, kids: want to check the small T-shirts for something nice? One each, OK?”

Sam looked unhappy at the news.

“Last time, you said…”

Ken’s eyebrows went up.

“Oh! Course I did! Hang on, son. It’s… ah, yes”

He passed the young boy a leather pouch holding a small folding knife.

“Sharp, son, so take care. Rosie?”

“Could I have the same, please, Badger?”

“Absolutely, duck. Now, had a thought… Can I have that back, please, Sam? Need to do some work on it, but if you come back in an hour, it’ll be ready”

There was no reluctance in the boy as he handed back the knife, which showed deep and obvious trust in Ken, and then he and his sister were off across the grass, screaming as they ran. Lorraine handed Ken a box about a foot on a side along with a small hammer, and my curiosity was satisfied when I saw him take a number of metal rods out and, letter by letter, stamp ‘Sam’ and ‘Rosie’ into the leather of the two pouches.

I got yet another grin from him, something I was starting to yearn for.

“Makes the presents more personal, duck. Helps stop them being nicked, as well. Let’s get the last of the front row stuff out, then I am having a nap. Chairs are ready for the tent, you two”

Lorraine was phonily indignant.

“What about my own bloody nap, you?”

“Ah, who drove the last bit? The hard bit?”

“Stop using facts!”

Still grinning, he closed the van door behind him as Loz took my hand and drew me into the tent, where we set up the table and a couple of chairs before she swiftly constructed a plate of ham sandwiches. I got a very small portion, of course.

“Talk now, Deb? My man there will give you his own take on things another time, so we have our own time together, just for a bit. I also want to check your dressings while we’re all still clean and sober”

Once our meal was over, she had me lie on the table so she could examine the state of things under my skirt, changing the bandages and adding a little antiseptic cream to the wound. She kept the conversation running as she worked.

“That is looking a bit better, love. Keep it clean for now. How do you feel?”

I thought the question over, then turned my head and grinned at her, trying my best to match Ken.

“I would murder for some real food!”

“Not all you would murder…”

Her face had fallen, but you shook herself and found a smile.

“Me and Badger, then? Not a huge story. Both of us are ex-services. Met up in Germany, clicked, and when our postings were up, we decided to get out together. Didn’t like being domesticated, and anyway, he’s Romany. I’m not that mad. Happy to travel in the warmer months, but I will be buggered if I am freezing my tits off in a caravan in winter. Both into music, bikes, all that stuff, so this way we get to follow the scene, he gets to feel free, and I keep all of my toes attached in February”

She paused, and there was something there, something she wanted to offer me. I had discovered what patience meant in Mersey View, how crucial its importance, so I simply lay and waited as she sought her words and her voice.

“When did you realise, Deb? That you were a girl?”

“Always, Loz. All my dreams… Dad…”

I had my own words somewhere, but they took some time to find.

“Dad liked the belt. I think it was the same for Mam as well. I wasn’t a boy, and he wanted a boy, and I am not one, and he tried to make me be one. I don’t know what he wants Mam to be”

The laugh that came from Lorraine wasn’t at all connected to amusement, not in any way.

“Usually, what men like that want is for the woman to be whatever she isn’t at the time. Simply, love, they just don’t let the woman ever be right, always in the wrong. Makes the men feel better about whatever it is they don’t like about themselves”

There was a long sigh.

“My brother was like you. Sister. Was. Shit, love. I’m done here”

I couldn’t give her anything back for what she was doing for me, so I simply held her as she wept.

Her voice was almost inaudible when she spoke again, when she could find those important words once more.

“So common, love. Queers, they call them. Doesn’t matter what you are, whichever way you are different. Sharks and blood in the water, they can smell a queer a mile off, and they are like your Dad, the queer is always wrong. Clive, she was baptised, but she was Christine, and then she was found in an alley in Stafford. No more for now, OK? It’s not nice. But I think I sort of understand you”

I felt her shaking as she drew a long breath, and the resolution returned to her.

“Face wash for both of us, love, then wake Sleeping Beauty. Paying customers are arriving, cause I can hear the bikes, and we have a business to run, and you have a life to get started. You also have some etiquette to get started on, and I would rather you got it from me and him rather than those two little tearaways. And there will be music!”

“I was going to ask about that!”

“Ask away”

“Mam likes some music, Debbie Reynolds and that. Dad was always Theresa Brewer. I couldn’t get what that stuff in the van was”

“The Steeleye? Something Ken got me into. I was always heavier stuff, rawer rock. Loved the Stones, proper old blues like the Wolf and that, and he was a folky. Thank fuck… sorry. Thankfully, he was never into the drippy stuff. His tastes sort of linked in with Jethro Tull and that, more than Pete Seeger or Joan Baez. Steeleye is what they call folk rock, like proper rock, but using traditional tunes and stuff”

She started laughing, in a far more relaxed way.

“At least Maddy Prior and the rest give credit to who wrote their stuff, even if nobody knows who it actually was. Not like those bastards taking Willy Dixon stuff and calling it their own!”

Abruptly, she snorted, with real and unfettered amusement.

“Hell, you won’t know any of this stuff at all! Promise me one thing, love: listen with an open heart and an open mind, OK? You might surprise yourself, like Ken did with me. Up and at ‘em, love!”

The field was now sprouting tents, motorcycles propped up next to them, men and women in leather jackets and jeans setting up more shelters, the odd sidecar delivering a number of other younger people. At Lorraine’s instruction, I slapped the sliding door of the van to rouse Ken, while she folded back the covers at the front of our stall. Ken emerged blinking, then looked at the gathering crowd.

“I smell money, girls! Want to go and find those pints Gandalf promised? Going to get busy in about two hours, so let’s turn a profit before we start the party”

Loz picked up a couple of pewter mugs and we started off towards the large marquee dominating the middle of the field, as Ken called out “Loz! I can see an MC!”

I looked up in query, and she indicated an odd arrangement of badges on the back of a big man setting up a tent against the far side of the field.

“First lesson, love. Anyone with a set of colours like that… Anyone with badges shaped like that on the back of their jacket, let them talk to you first. Don’t go up to them. Explain more later, love. Ratty! Come here!

That last was to a small man wearing a leather jacket, filthy jeans and a woollen hat, the jacket covered with what had obviously once been another one, in denim, sleeves ripped off and what was left covered in more little metal badges.

After a prolonged hug, Lorraine turned to me.

“Ratty, this is Deb, one of Badger’s lot. Deb, this is the president of the host club. This is his do, so be nice to him”

“Hello… They said there’ll be music here”

“You a Gog, girl? Yeah, got a disco tonight, then a decent band tomorrow night. You into R and B?”

“What’s that?”

“Rhythm and Blues, darling”

Loz chipped in, “She knows some of the Kinks’ stuff, ratty”

“Ah! You know ‘You Really Got me’ or ‘All Day and All of the Night’? That sort of thing?”

“Yeah! Will it be loud?”

“Oh yes!”

“Shall I tell you later, mister?”

“I insist, darling. Now, Gandalf says you have beers in the wood. I suppose that’s what you walked over for?”

Lorraine grinned.

“Bears and woods, love! Popes and big churches!”

“Then walk this way. Got tankards---yup. Bar’s all keg and cans, I’m afraid”

Two full tankards of beer and a can of orange fizz later, we were walking back to the van, and I could already see people at the stand. Lorraine handed one of the tankards to Ken, clinking hers together with his as well as my can, and grinning happily, clearly for the benefit of what looked to be potential ‘paying customers’.

“Beer, sunshine for the moment, and we are back in Wales. Could life be better? Oh, what size do you take, mate?”