Chapter 31

Leaving Auntie Heather in the kitchen, I followed mum to her bedroom where she started going through her large wardrobe

"I know they are in here somewhere," she mumbled to herself.

After about 3 minutes of searching as I looked on bored, mum excitedly proclaimed, "Here they are. These will look great on you babe" as she held up a pair of black boots

The boots mum proudly held in the air were what I now know to be ankle boots. They were black leather with a heel that looked about 3 inches high

"I bought these a while ago, but couldn't get on with them as the heels are a little high for me" she said as she handed me the boots

"Mummmmmm if they were too high for you, how am I supposed to get on with them" I protested in a high-pitched voice, as I took the little boots from her

"Anyway, I thought I was wearing these shoes" I said pointing to the purple shoes currently on my feet

"Just try them on to see how they fit honey," Mum told me whilst putting a comforting hand on my cheekbone "I do hope they fit. They will look really cute with your little skirt"

I let out a large sigh of exasperation and again defeated, sat on mum's bed and in doing so noticed I had without thinking smoothed my skirt under me as I sat on the edge of the bed.

I undid the straps of the shoes and slipped them off, before pulling the left boot over my hosed foot. After a bit of a struggle, I did up the little zip that ran down the side of the boot. I noticed that the top of the boot only reached my ankle, realising why they call them ankle boots

I soon had the other boot on and Mum pulled me up from the bed and onto my feet. I quickly found my balance as mum helped steady me

"Oh they are not that high Jo" Mum exclaimed, "girls your age wear boots a lot higher than these. Try walking around in them"

I did as I was told and tentatively walked around her bedroom. I actually found the boots quite easy to walk in. I thought they were a lot easier than the boots I wore when I went to the football with Martin. They actually felt quite comfortable and I liked the style with their pointed toes.

As I stared down at the boots, I thought of Martin and wondered what he might be up to now. I guess he was at work. Was he upset with me? Why was I thinking of him? He meant nothing to me

Mum disrupted my thoughts "The boots look great Joanne. They really set off your little outfit. You look really trendy honey. Your legs are to die for. You look so sweet in your skirt and pretty blouse. Can you see how much better your skirt looks now that you have swapped the slip for the chemise"?

"No I can' t see it Mother" I responded confused

"Exactly sweetie. You can't see the hem of the chemise. That's the whole point"

I blushed as Mother played with the hem of the short skirt. After fussing with the skirt, she reached in my blouse and positioned the shoulder pads so they sat properly on my shoulders. When she had finished messing with my blouse, she again went to her wardrobe and returned a few seconds later with a pale pink garment

"Here put this on over your blouse," she ordered as she handed me a little cardigan. I held up the soft garment in front of me and noticed that it had a little collar. I found out later that the collar was called a Peter Pan style. What a stupid name I thought. The cardigan also had shoulder pads and four tiny white pearl buttons down the front

I pulled the soft baby pink cardigan over my bare arms and settled it on my shoulders before positioning the Peter Pan collar around my neck

"Here, let me help you" mum offered as she sorted out the little shoulder pads sewn into the cardigan. She then buttoned the two lowest shiny pearl buttons, before standing back and admiring her project

"Pink is a great colour on you Jo. You should wear it a lot more honey.

I blushed at being called honey and the thought of wearing more pink. I then questioned why I had to wear the cardigan

"Isn't the cardigan a little too much Mum? My shoulders look enormous now with the two sets of pads"

Mum laughed "No they don't. You look very Dynasty baby. Like a mini Joan Collins" she gushed

"Oh thanks a lot mother. She's ancient," I groaned, hating how she had just compared me to the elderly Dynasty actress.

"Ancient?" Mum laughed, "Give it a few years and I bet you wish you could look as good as she does now when you are her age"

"REALLLLLLY? I don't think so Mother " I moaned whilst pushing a stray lock of hair behind my ear

Mum watched my feminine action and smiled at me " Will see love. I know it's hard to imagine yourself getting old. Listen to your old mum, when I tell you that before you know it, you too will be middle aged. It soon creeps up on you love and you will wonder where the last 20 years went"

"I remember your Nan having a very similar conversation with me when I was about your age" Mum remininiced

"Mother you are getting boring" I sulked as I crossed my arms over my false breasts

Mum found me very amusing "Boring? you cheeky so and so. The cardigan looks lovely on you. You will thank me later for making you wear it Jo. It's cold out and you will get goosebumps if you go out just wearing your sleeveless blouse"

"It's not my blouse," I protested as I fidgeted with the scalloped edge at the bottom of the cardigan

Mum disregarded my moans "Oh stop being awkward Joanne. What does it matter whose blouse it is? It looks really nice on you it and finishes off your outfit"

"My outfit?" I again moaned feeling really sorry for myself

Mum raised her voice "Oh will you stop answering me back. Start acting your age. You are not 12 you know," she angrily told me" It won't hurt for you to look nice for a change, whoever's clothes they are"

Knowing I was testing her patience I didn't respond to her stupid rant. I knew I couldn't win when she was in her stupid "Grown ups are always right" mood

Over the next 5 minutes or so Mum finished getting me ready as she put a couple of gold bangles on my left wrist and a tiny pearl bracelet on my other wrist. The bangles and bracelet were quite loose and I found it irritating how that they kept slipping up and down my wrists as I moved my hands and arms. I tried to tuck them under the tight sleeves of my cardigan, however they still kept breaking free, moving on my wrists

"Stop fiddling with your bracelets" mum told me as she gently slapped my hand. She then had me lift my hair from the nape of my neck to enable her to clip a delicate pink and silver necklace around my neck. The chain of the necklace rested between my false breasts and hung from it was a small silver heart.

Mum fussed a little more with my make up and hair and then told me I was almost ready. She then sprayed a sweet smelling perfume on my wrists. I looked at the fancy bottle as she put it back on her dressing table and saw that it was called some pretenscious fancy French name

"Take these and go down and see if your Auntie is ok. She must be wondering what we are up to," Mum told me as she handed me a black coat and a multi coloured floral scarf

I took the silky scarf and woolen coat, left her room and carefully descended the stairs as fast as the little ankle boots would allow me. I was again quite surprised at how comfortable the boots were despite the heel height

I walked into the kitchen and found Auntie Heather had finished her coffee and was sitting at the kitchen table reading one of mum's women's magazines

On hearing my heels click clacking across the kitchen floor, she looked up from her magazine and smiled "Oh hi Jo. I thought you had both gone shopping without me"

She looked me and up and down and then told me "I love your boots. They really make your outfit honey.

Are you wearing L'Amour Jo? She asked as she sniffed the air

"What" I questioned not having a clue what she was on about

" Your perfume Jo. Is it L'Amour?"

I shrugged my shoulders not knowing the answer " I don't know Auntie. It smells horrible doesn't it"?

"No it smells lovely babe. I tried some on in a shop the other day. Shame, the price put me off buying it. It's a lovely smell"

Heather rose from her chair" Give us a twirl Jo so I can get a good look at your outfit"

" A what?" I asked wondering what she was on about

Heather laughed " A twirl love. Turn around so I can see your whole outfit"

I begrudgingly did so for a quiet life

Heather frowned "I think the cardigan's a little too precious Joanne. It doesn't go with the rest of your look. Was it your idea to wear it or your mums? She asked

"What do you think Auntie?" I protested in a squeaky high-pitched voice " I would hardly volunteer to wear all of this, would I?" I sulked throwing my hands down to my sides in exasperation. "What do think? What is it with you stupid adults? It's not my look"

Heather was taken back by my outburst and mum had obviously heard my rant as she
rushed down the stairs and into the kitchen, grabbing my elbow and in doing so nearly yanking me off my high heeled feet

She screamed " You apologise to your Auntie right this minute you rude girl. I won't have you talking to Heather like that. Who the hell do you think you are?"

Heather looked embarrassed at the situation and tried to diffuse the situation " She didn't mean anything by it Claire. We were just discussing whether the cardigan goes with the rest of her outfit"

I felt tears welling up in my eyes as Mum responded to Heather "She has far too much lip Heather. I won't have her growing up into a disrespectful little madam. I won't have her going off the tracks like a lot of young girls these days, being stupid and getting into trouble"

I just about found my voice as I could feel myself about to cry" How am I going to get into trouble exactly Mother? We were just discussing this stupid pullover. It's no big deal"

As I spoke, Mum released my elbow and stood before me in a rage. I actually thought she was going to slap me. She didn't, however with anger in her voice she screamed at me

"No big deal? What do you know? Girls your age are getting into trouble in lots of ways. Are you really that stupid not to understand that? It starts with silly love bites and then before you know it, it ends up with you throwing your life away for a bit of slap and tickle"

"I won't have you end up like those stupid girls I see at the mall pushing prams. I want you to have respect for yourself and others. You will make the most of what you have without stooping so low as to throw yourself at the likes of Martin"

I stomped one foot and cried out "Martin? What the bloody hell does he have to do with anything? Shit, I didn't ask for the love bite"

Mum was ready to burst and I seriously thought she was going to hit me, however my outburst seemed to bring her to her senses somewhat

"You didn't ask for it? How about leading him on? You think you are so grown up swearing don't you Joanne. You are so immature. I won't have your outbursts. Whilst under my roof you will follow my rules. Is that understood? Is it?" she demanded as she stuffed a handbag into my chest.

Without waiting for me to respond she turned her back on me and walked away

"Put on your coat and scarf and lets get going. We have wasted enough time already with your childish tantrums" she told me, as she sat at the kitchen table and started pulling on her flat shoes.

After a few seconds where no one spoke, Mother looked up and in a calmer voice apologised to Heather " I am so sorry you had to witness that Hettie. She can be a right little bitch at times and I won't have it. I won't have her talking to you like she knows it all. For Christ's sake she's only seventeen"

My Aunt looked embarrassed and a little shocked by what she had just witnessed and told Mum that it wasn't an issue

There was a long silence as Heather and I looked at each other expecting another outburst, however without warning Mum got up and walked out of the kitchen and started locking the house up.

To prevent another scene, I slipped the wool coat on as Heather came over to me and gave me a cuddle. She took a handkerchief from her handbag and gently dapped my lower eyelids and cheeks as I tried to gather my composure whilst gently sobbing

"My make up must be ruined," I said trying to make a joke of the situation

"There, there Jo. Don't worry" Heather smiled as she gave my hand a reassuring squeeze "We can repair your face"

"Let me help you with your the scarf" she said in a soothing voice as she pulled the silk scarf around my neck and loosely tied it so it draped over my false boobs. She then did up the large black buttons of the coat, which I found out later was called a cape style, tied off the large belt at my waist and out of earshot of her sister, smiled and whispered to me

"Take no notice of your Mother. She is a fine one to speak. She was a right cow when she was your age. We used to have massive catfights. She was never wrong about anything Jo. She was always speaking back to your Nan and Grandad. She is lucky she didn't end up like one of those young mothers she talks about. You will be fine hon. you have your head screwed on" she said as she gave me another hug

She kissed my forehead and whispered, "I love you so much Jo. If you ever need me I will always will be there for you sweetheart. You know that don't you? You will turn out just fine love. Take no notice of your Mum"

I struggled not to break down as Auntie Heather's hugged me and didn't only because Mum came back into the kitchen, having seemingly calmed down

"Come on girls. Grab your bags. Let's get to the shops," She told us both as if nothing had happened

We both looked at her bemused

As I lifted the leather handbag from the kitchen table I noticed how heavy it was and wondered what mum had packed within it. Just as I was about to hang the bag from my shoulder Mother grabbed it and started routing inside

" You have so much in here love. Where's your make up case?" she asked

Without wanting an answer she pulled out a bejeweled little bag and from that pulled out a few items.

Telling me to sit down at the table she then started repairing my make up with foundation, blusher, eyeliner and mascara. Auntie Heather looked on as mother repaired my make up and then pulled a little vanity mirror from my new bag and told me to look in the mirror.

"That looks so much better doesn't it honey" She exclaimed as I looked at my pretty face in the small mirror " Put your make up back in your bag and lets going"

Totally lost for words I placed the cosmetics back in the make up bag and did up the gold clasp. As I went to put the case and mirror in the bag I looked at the contents inside. I saw a number of things including a few hair slides and hairclips, a hair brush, a spare pair of tights, a packet of Midol, a little umbrella, a couple of tampons, a sanitary towel, a hankie, a little purse, a small tin of hairspray and some wet wipes. I also saw a bottle of perfume, which had J'Adour on it.

Without thinking I handed Auntie the perfume

She smiled as she took the bottle from me and sprayed some on her wrists before rubbing them together " I knew it was J'Adore Jo. It's a lovely smell isn't it" She smiled as she gave me the bottle back to put in my bag

On putting everything back in the bag, I hung the bag straps over my shoulder and followed Auntie Heather out of the front door as Mum locked up behind us

Walking down the path to mum's car I wondered how the day would pan out. Was Mum right about me being a little bitch? Was I being selfish? Had I ruined hers and Auntie Heather day?

They both had a lot to contend with at the moment what with Nanna being in hospital. Mum's outburst was probably because she was stressed out over the situation and I probably wasn't helping much arguing with her at every opportunity

As the bitter cold wind swirled around my hosed legs and my bra straps dug in to my shoulders, I decided I would try my best not to antagonise mum. She had enough on her plate without as she put it, me being a little madam

Chapter 32

I somehow felt guilty and to make it up to mum I offered to drive

"That's a great idea Jo. You can show Heather how well your driving is coming along" mum beamed proudly whilst handing me the car keys.

I opened the car and as gracefully as I could, whilst wearing the tight skirt and high-heeled boots, maneuvered my bum onto the drivers seat and adjusted the seat so my feet could reach the pedals.

Unconsciously I tugged the hem of my skirt down as I adjusted the driver's mirror, before clasping my seat belt across my false breasts

From the back seat Auntie Heather broke the silence " OK Jo Jo, show us what a great driver you are love"

Mum smiled proudly and then talked me through the usual checks before I set off under her instruction

The journey was fairly uneventful until I stalled the car when attempting to pull away from a set of traffic lights on a slight hill. I got in a real mess and nearly rolled back into the car behind me and only avoided bumping the car behind when mum yanked the handbrake up.

"Jesus Joanne. Concentrate on what you are doing" mum moaned

"It's not my fault" I argued, " My heel got caught on the mat"

"Just concentrate. You haven't stalled the car for ages. If you do that on your test, the instructor will fail you, as you lost control of the car" mum remonstrated

I thought to myself that when I take the bloody test, I wouldn't be wearing high-heeled boots.

By now I was all hot and flustered and without looking in my mirrors, I restarted the car and started to pull away. In doing so, I again nearly crashed into the car that was behind me and was now attempting to overtake me. The young guy driving startled me up as he banged his hand on his car horn. He glared across at me shaking his head whilst shouting expletives. It is just as well I couldn't lip read, as he was know doubt telling me in so many words that I was a stupid cow or something similar.

I stalled the car again when hearing the car horn. My bottom lip now started to quiver and I wanted to cry as mum brought me to my senses

"Joanne for goodness sakes wake up. You are going to cause an accident. Calm down and start going through the start up routine I have taught you"

By now there was quite a queue of cars behind me, know doubt also getting annoyed at the learner driver in front of them

"There are loads of cars behind me," I screamed as I started to lose control

"So what. Ignore them. They had to learn once, just like you are. I bet most of them were a lot worse than you" Heather tried to reassure me with her backhanded comment

After letting the cars behind pass and again receiving annoyed looks from most of the drivers, I composed myself and we were back on our way. I concentrated really hard to ensure that there weren't any more mishaps on our way to the shops. In doing so, I totally forgot that I was wearing girl's clothes and immersed myself in the drive.

I was brought to my senses when we pulled up to the barrier at the entrance to the multi storey car park of the shopping mail. I pulled up the handbrake and put the car into neutral and then wound down my window and stretched out to collect the ticket, however was unable to reach it as I had pulled up too far from the ticket machine and my seatbelt cut in across my false boobs.

Mum looked around and saw that yet again a number of cars were queuing behind.

"Well don't just sit there. The ticket won't come to you girl. Get out and get it" Mum angrily told me obviously frustrated by my inability to carry out the simple task

I undid my seatbelt and after opening the car door managed to reach across and retrieve the ticket

A couple of cars behind started tooting as the barrier rose in front of me. By now I was a total wreck as I got back in the car and in a rush duly stalled the car again.

I don't know how, but somehow I was able to start the car and drive off very gingerly into the busy car park, as a procession of cars followed me up to the next level of the car park

Now totally overcome, I couldn't take anymore and stopped the car and screamed at mum " I can't do this anymore. I can't drive. I want to get out" as I opened the car door and started to get out

"Joanne, get back in the car this minute. You are making a right scene," Mum told me angrily as she looked around nervously at the ever-growing number of cars behind

"Your holding up all the cars behind"

I totally ignored her, got out, slammed the door behind me and stormed off as quickly as my boots and tight skirt would allow me

Then it dawned on me. Where did I think I was going to go dressed like this? My money was in the handbag I had left behind in the car. I felt a tear drop down my cheek as I started to sob. I looked back and saw mum get in the drivers seat and drive towards me and then to my astonishment she drove straight past me at speed whilst giving me a dirty look

As the drivers of the cars I had inconvenienced drove past me, I looked away as I was embarrassed in holding them all up

Although I couldn't see their faces, I could hear a few angry comments as they drove past me, as I looked in the opposite direction

"Stupid fucking cow. You shouldn't be on the road. You couldn't drive a shopping trolley" was one that was really cutting

I didn't know what to do and aimlessly quickly started walking to the mall entrance as an elderly lady of about 60 came walking towards me at speed

"Leave me alone. I am sorry I held you up" I cried, "You had to learn to drive once didn't you?"

The lady gave me a concerned warm smile as she grabbed my arm reassuringly "Are you ok love? You seem to be in a lot of distress" she asked as she handed me a tissue from her handbag " Nothing can be that bad, can it"

I tried to respond however choked up I couldn't get any words out as I took the tissue from her and dabbed at my cheeks and eyes, guessing that my stupid eye make up had run and that I probably looked dreadful

"What's got you so upset love? Here come with me," she said as she grabbed by hand and gestured me to a car a few metres away

Not thinking straight, I followed her and when she told me to get into the car I did as I was told. As I got in the back seat of the car I realised that an elderly man with thinning grey hair was watching me. He greeted me with a lovely smile "Hello dear"

"err err er Hi" I stuttered embarrassed as I pulled the hem of my skirt down which had risen up to my upper thighs and in doing so, know doubt giving him a good view of my knickers

"err sorry. I should get out," I sobbed as I went to get out of the car, just as the lady got in the from the other rear door. She grabbed my arm and stopped me from getting out

"You are in no fit state to go anywhere young urn. What's your name love?" She gestured to her husband who was looking back at us from the front seat " This is my husband Colin and my names Helen"

I sobbed "errrr Joe. My names Joe" I replied as I tried to compose myself " I am so sorry, I should be trying to find my mum"

"You just stay where you are love. You can't be going anywhere in this condition" she gently told me

"Colin see if you can get a cup of sweet tea for Jo from somewhere"

Colin didn't need telling twice as I believe he was happy to escape from the deranged stranger on the back seat of his car. He got out and walked in the direction of the mall leaving Helen and I in the car

" I am really sorry to involve you. I will be alright" I tried to convince Helen, however she wasn't having any of it

"Don't you worry yourself love. I have granddaughters your age and I would hate to see them on their own in the state your in. What's got you so upset?"

Helen saw that I was hot and bothered and told me to take of my silk scarf and undo my coat. I didn't question her as I was hot and felt a little woozy, as she helped me take the scarf off, as I undid the buttons of my coat

I felt a little better as the cool air hit my upper body

"Is that better dear? She asked

I nodded shyly "yes thanks"

" What a pretty cardigan love. You really are a cutie. My granddaughters aren't girly girls like you. They are a bit gothy"

Squirming at her well-intended compliments, I politely smiled as she continued to tell me " They wouldn't be seen dead wearing a lovely blouse like yours" she laughed, " I don't understand it myself. No wonder they attract the wrong type of boyfriends Jo"

"Is Jo short for anything love?" she asked

"Errrr yes it is" I responded whilst playing with the bangles on my wrist and didn't tell her what it was short for

"Well I guess it isn't short for Joseph," she laughed at her attempt of a joke " Is it Josephine or Joanna?

"It's short for Joanne," I told her finding my voice feeling very awkward

"Oh that's a lovely name Joanne. I like it better than Jo, however you know doubt like a more trendy Jo"

'Yeah I guess so" I told her shyly as I again nervously pulled down the hem of my skirt

She giggled at my action "You youngsters make me laugh. You wear such short skirts and then spend all of your time pulling the hem down to protect your modesty"

I smiled at her embarrassed " I guess so"

I was starting to feel at ease with Helen, however still felt that I shouldn't be holding her up from whatever she was meant to be doing

"Err Helen. I am really sorry for being so silly. I am probably holding you up from doing something. I am ok now. I will let you get on," I told her whilst not looking at her directly. I was really feeling awkward and now just wanted to get away to find Mum and Auntie Heather

"It's no bother Joanne love. Colin will be back with your tea soon. Have that and then you will feel much better. Now if I am not prying, tell me what's got you so upset young urn"

For the next five minutes I told Helen what had happened to get me in such a dreadful state. She listened without interrupting and reassuringly stroked my hand as I got upset at certain points

I don't know why, but I told Helen more than I intended to, including the row with mum before we left home, the incidences with my driving that morning, Nana being in hospital and for whatever reason unbeknown to me, my big row with Martin about his poor driving home from the hospital.

Helen listened intently and didn't interrupt apart from reassuring me when I started to get upset

When I finished talking Helen took a deep breath and said " My my. No wonder you are so upset young lady. You have had to put up with so much in the last few days. I know from having two daughters of my own and four granddaughters that your hormones are all over the place at your age.

She asked how old I was and when I told her 17 she told me "oh you are still a baby. You are still only coming to terms with going from a girl to a young woman. A very beautiful woman, might I add," she smiled kindly "however your hormones are probably all over the place at your tender age"

Helen told me that before she retired she had been a midwife and told me that she had come across a number of girls around my age who although pregnant weren't coming to terms with their mood swings and hormonal changes

"I'm not pregnant," I protested indignantly

Helen laughed, " I didn't say you was Joanne. I was just saying that our hormones effect girls a lot at your age and even so at my old age love. If you think its bad now, you will have the menopause to look forward to in later life love. Take it from me, then you will be a wreck" She joked

"One minute you're too hot, then your too cold. I think Colin was tempted to kill me a few times when I was going through the change" she giggled as she reminisced about her experience of the menopause

I know Helen was doing her best to calm me down and take my mind of what was worrying me, however her talk of menopause and hormones made me feel a little queasy, as I knew none of this would effect me and how wrong she was of her assessment of me and if only she knew of the freak sat beside her

Helen must have realised something was up " You ok love. You have gone all pale"

"Erm yeah I am ok. Just a little lightheaded that's all" I replied

"I know I am being a bit personnel Jo, but the old nurse in me is always prying love. Are you on your period Jo? It would explain you being upset and looking a little of colour love"

"Er no, no I am not" I replied embarrassed whilst no doubt going bright red with shame

Helen obviously realised that she had embarrassed me "Sorry love. Just me putting two and two together and coming up with five" she apologised whilst gently squeezing my hand

"You have such pretty nails love" she commented whilst looking at my varnished fingernails

"Maybe your a little anaemic love. Are you having regular periods Joanne or are they all over the place?" she continued to pry

Now feeling very hot and bothered, I pulled my coat off and undid the little buttons of my cardigan to cool down. "Yes they are fine. I'm alright thanks"

"Ok love. As long as you are. Periods can really affect young girls. My eldest daughter Susan had really infrequent periods when she was about your age and at times when she missed one, she worried she might be pregnant. Are yours regular every month Joanne?

"errrrr yes they are, mostly" I responded not knowing what to say as my hand went beneath my blouse collar as I tried to adjust one of my bra straps that was biting into my shoulder

"When was your last one young urn" she continued to probe, whilst looking me directly in my eyes

I didn't like how she was scrutinising me as she looked into my made up eyes. I wondered if she knew I was a boy and croaked a response to her very personnel question "erm, I don't know. Six weeks ago, I guess," I told her without realising that I had now opened up a new can of worms for myself

"SIX WEEKS" she responded in a high pitched voice " Do you think you could be pregnant love? It would explain a lot as to how you are feeling"

By now I was squirming right down to my hosed ankle boots "NO NO, Of course I am not pregnant. Not at all" I protested

"How do you know love? You said your periods are normally ok, however you say you haven't had one for six weeks. Are you taking proper precautions?"

" What? What do you mean precautions?" I responded astonished at her probing

"You know. Are you on the pill or does Martin use condoms?"

I was beside myself at how the conversation was going and without thinking told her "He uses condoms. I know I am not pregnant Helen," I screeched at her

"OK that's good to know love, although you might consider the pill as sheath's are not always reliable Joanne and take it from me love, not to be crude you and your young man will enjoy sex so much more without a rubber"

I was really squirming by now "I don't know about condoms Helen. I am a virgin. Are you satisfied? Martin and I haven't done anything" I started sobbing in frustration

"Oh my poor dear. I am so sorry for prying. It's nothing to be embarrassed about Joanne, not yet having sex love. You're still a baby girl at 17. You and Martin will do it in your own time sweetie, when you are both ready and don't let him pressurize you as men often do love. There's plenty of time for that Joanne"

I was astounded and was thinking of what to say, when Colin surprised me when he opened my door and peered in "You girls ok"

GIRLS I squirmed to myself as he went to hand me a polystyrene cup of tea

"Look who I have found Jo" he asked as I looked past him and saw both Mum and Aunt Heather looking at me with concern on their faces, as I passed out.

End of Chapter 32