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Today, I found out my stepfather died several years ago.
Considering he beat the crap out of me, why do I feel bad?
mixed feelings about some news
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Comments
What do your beliefs indicate?
When I found out my stepfather died in 83, I said, "Good, now he can't hurt anyone else." He beat me several nights a week, and several times I thought he killed me as he threatened to do. He always felt I was too feminine. I was never Gay. My siblings thought I would be a Priest. It would be decades before I encountered Mormon Missionary Sisters who worked very hard for over a year to help me get over my anger, and hatred.
It has been a blessing to be free of that anger. The Sisters were Angels to me. Their Leadership are Daemons.
Perhaps you feel bad for his wasted life? It is not wrong to feel compassion for another.
because
Your a good person with her heart on her sleeve, and totes a girly girl on her own. So you feel bad when you hear about someone you had feelings for passing away.
A good person
A truly good person doesn't take pleasure in another's pain, misfortune, or death. You're a good person.
Kris
{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}
Mixed emotions?
You feel sad for that part of you that recalls what little good he may have shown?
You mourn for the father he could have been?
You feel very sad for the hurt he caused?
You feel guilty because you forgave him only to have the hurt rise up and demand forgiveness once again on the event of this news?
You feel guilty because by feeling honest loss you might somehow betray your younger self?
You are sad because despite all he did and didn't do you wanted to love him because you ARE a forgiving person?'
You are sad and you honestly don't know why?
Sweetie? You bore more pain as a child than most have endured in a lifetime and yet here you are seeking to be better through it all. You're Dorothy... my friend and my hero. God bless!
Love, Andrea Lena
Andrea you are MY hero
always. hugs!