CHAPTER 47
“We have the medical reports, naturally. Why did you leave hard cover yourself?”

I found myself glaring at Noble, and had to force myself to pull the reaction back. Careful, girl; P, P, as ever.

“I made a dynamic risk assessment that as Morris had been the last known active shooter I was not at risk. I was also wearing what I assume to be bomb disposal personal protection equipment, and I have and retain a duty of care to the community of which I am part. The Peel principles, Mr Noble”

“What did you then do?”

“I switched the mike back on and then approached the position I believed Morris to be in. I was concerned for his welfare”

“After all the shooting? After DC Doyle had been shot?”

“He remained a fellow human being!”

“Talk us through what you found”

The suit was too heavy for anything other than a waddle, but I got to my feet, Brad’s voice whining on in my earpiece as I caught movement in my peripheral vision. His boys, no doubt, or perhaps the really scary bastards in the netting strips. No worries, girl.

“Pig? It’s Diane. I am coming in, so shoot me if you want. Brad, paramedics, urgent”

No sounds from the bar area, but I doubt I would have heard anything over the sound of my heartbeat almost booming in my helmet. A shockingly bright light burned past me, and I picked my way past fallen bikes and tumbled chairs to where a pile of beer crates had tumbled over, CDs spilling out from what had clearly been a DJ’s desk by a low stage of pallets and plywood sheeting. Pig was behind the beer crates, a Glock on the ground next to him. I assumed the recoil had taken it from his hand after he had swallowed the muzzle. His jacket shone with the effects of what Titch had done to him, but everything north of what was left of his head was shining wet.

I got the helmet and visor out of the way just in time, and as instructed too many times, I made sure I left my supper well away from the body.

Bodies, now, as armed men started filtering in, and Brad was there, and then my husband, and without words I was taken away from the carnage, someone unfastening that bloody walking tank affair and then, finally, a seat in the back of a carrier as Blake found me some hot tea.

“I don’t take sugar, love”

“You do tonight, love. Just this once, aye?”

I don’t know how long we spent there, or which of us was holding the other, but I didn’t care, and tears wash out of clothing far more easily than blood does. After an aeon, I pulled some P, P back in.

“Lexie?”

He pulled away from me, just a little. I wasn’t going to release him, not for a while.

“In theatre now, love. Early reports are quite hopeful. They got her away right sharpish. We’ve just got to do the goat-sorting and then we can be off as well”

“Goats?”

“Aye. Clear away the civilians and nick what’s left of the Brawd. They lost seven members that we know of, against two of the Culhwch”

“Including Pig?”

“Yeah. Devious bastard. I feel bloody well used, I do”

“Well, it’s done. I need to wash, love”

“I’ll do your back”

“Please. Then we find some time and do something nice with Rhod”

That was almost it for that night. The uniforms and their enforcers cleared the bikers one by one, including a terrifying number of children, and another six of the Brawd were arrested on the basis of the club having a blindingly stupid rule about commitment that involved getting a tattoo. Sammy was insistent, though, and I wasn’t allowed to head off to the hospital but driven home with my beloved in a marked car. At least our neighbours knew what we both did for a living, so they simply accepted the regular presence of a Battenberg-coloured car on our drive.

I got the door open after some fumbling, and left my clothes in a trail as I headed for our shower, the stink of that evening suddenly as thick in my nostrils as the remnants of vomit in my mouth. I took thirty seconds to scrub my teeth, and then into a shower almost too hot, and Blake with me, and…

Noble coughed, and the memories settled back into their special place.

“I think we have covered all we need to today, Diane. Thank you for your candour”

He went through the process with the tapes as I looked from one to the other, trying to second-guess their next actions. Elwyn slipped me a smile, before opening his mouth for the first time since the process had begun.

“Gents, I think Diane would appreciate some broader hints re the next stage of this investigation”

Noble looked at Daws, who nodded sharply before taking over the lead.

“The next stage, Mr Rogers? Actually, I think that this enquiry is complete. We shall be consolidating our findings and the report will follow in due course. There will be a number of recommendations, particularly in respect of a rather gung-ho approach to using helicopters and the Armed Forces, but all in all we see no overriding areas for specific or seriously critical comment. Oh, and I will be speaking to Mr Williams about Diane”

Elwyn put his hand on my forearm, calming me.

“In what context, precisely?”

Noble actually chuckled.

“A bloody commendation, naturally, Mr Rogers! Morris was rather accurate in his summary of this Officer’s character. Despite seeing a good friend nearly killed, she carried out her duties exactly as we would all hope we would be able to do. She contained the shooter, and apart from his own and rather inevitable demise, she prevented any further casualties. All at great personal risk”

I coughed.

“I wasn’t actually at any risk from Morris, was I?”

Dawes smiled again, and it was the expression of an indulgent uncle.

“You didn’t know that, Diane. Not at the time. That is the point. Thank you both for your time. One last question? How is DC Doyle?”

I gave Elwyn’s hand a squeeze as a thank-you.

“I am heading into the hospital as soon as we finish, but reports are hopeful. It looks as if the helmet actually did some good”

Noble gave a sharp nod.

“Yes. SMG rounds are normally low-powered, and so much depends on factors such as angle and the distance from the weapon. I was formerly a close-protection officer for my sins, so please take Lexie our best wishes. Thank you both for your time”

They were gone, and I was left with Elwyn for a minute or two, finding myself laughing. He joined in, relief evident in his own laughter, and after making a comment about what a bunch od bastards they were, and how they were always like that, and needing a pint, he was also off to other work. I made my way out of the Central nick, heading off to the hospital, for once in my own car, which felt strange, but it was a bloody sight quieter than a helicopter, even if the other traffic about me was far more worrying.

Lexie was sat up in bed, surrounded by flowers, her whole face one massive bruise under the dressings, but she managed to smile at me as I went in. At least her speech was clear. Deb and Gemma were by the bedside as I entered her little room, a slightly greasy cardboard box of a very familiar design on the little table.

“Hiya, mate. Going to keep your head down next time?”

“Sod off, Di. How long did they keep me under?”

“God knows, love. There was all sorts going on, and I was a bit out of the loop. How are you feeling?”

“Would it be a bit obvious to say I’ve got hell’s own headache? Doc tells me they had to do some serious shit on me, relieving pressure and stuff. Depressed fracture of the skull, he says. I’ve got a trench all the way down one side of my head. What state is my helmet in?”

“Left side ripped right off, Lexie. Did its job”

“I didn’t, though, did I? Stupid thing to do!”

“Learning curve, girl. Steep one, in our job, always is. Gemma getting you fat?”

Lexie grinned.

2Aye, and the others. Charlie, Tiff, they are all in every day. I’ve started giving chocs away to the nurses, they bring so many, and then there’s the team. Candice is the worst, I tell you, and then that Chris is round every day to see his boyfriend and, well, I am going to be the Cardiff Lard Monster when I get out”

Her voice softened. “You OK, yourself?”

I grimaced.

“Well, suppose so. Just finished the wash-up with the Complaints bods, and that seemed to go OK. Just got to get on with the routine again, now. I seriously hope we do get some bloody routine for a bit; last few months have been rather heavy. You know something?”

“What?”

“I was just thinking we’ve done enough to earn our pensions, and, well, retirement suddenly looked attractive!”

Deb guffawed.

“Like hell it does! Not you, Diane. You’re like that Elaine, copper to the core. Anyway, when Lexie gets out, we will have a proper party. Any objections?”

“Not from me, Deb. Could I have a quick word? Just the two of us?”

She twitched a little,

“Come on, then. Sluice room?”

She led the way in, smiling at a nurse to reassure her we weren’t some odd pair looking to shoot up. Or whatever.

“Pig spoke about you, Deb. Right at the end”

All at once, she broke, sobbing so hard she couldn’t breathe properly. As I so often did, I found myself holding another human in extremis. Story of your life, DC Sutton, story of your life.

“Deb? Speak to me. Please”

“Not here, Di. Not now. Got to be strong. Charlie and Tiff are due in twenty minutes, so if you don’t mind, drive me out somewhere quiet, and we’ll talk. And not bloody Southerndown beach, OK?”

I held her to me until her crisis had passed, and then we both did the necessary running repairs before putting that brave face back on with our mascara and smiling at the world until Gemma left for a tryst with her rugby player and two students arrived to take over the caring and sharing duties, I made as brief a welcome as I could, but neither of them was fooled in any way. Charlie whispered in my ear as we hugged.

“Sort her out for us, love”

Sod driving. I walked with Deb across into Heath Park, where there was a little footbridge over the Wedal. She simply stood for a few minutes, staring into the trees.

“He said he remembered you, Deb. You and your parents, he said”

“Aye. He was always about at rallies, especially down this way. Had a flag, needed to wave it. Way of things with MCs”

“I got the impression he was a bit soft on you”

The gaze she turned on me was frightening, and I saw some of the strength and ferocity that she always held inside, aspects I had only ever seen clearly when she had ripped her rapist a new arsehole before the jury.

“Who have you spoken to about this, Diane?”

“Nobody, love. I had my mike turned off when he spoke to me”

“Good. Keep it that way, please. Pig…”

She turned back to her inspection of the trees, as a bird started repeating “Chiff, chaff”. Her own voice was distant, musing now, as memories were brought out.

“I wasn’t sure, you know? I mean, I knew I was a girl, no bloody doubt there. Always had been, always will be. Which way I… My sexuality was another thing. Charlie and the others, the Parsons, they didn’t give a shit whether I was straight or gay or whatever. They just took what they wanted, and what I wanted was of no fucking consequence whatsoever. So I got out, and I was found, and, well, you know how much I loved those two”

“Pig spoke highly of them”

“He would do. They were his sort of people. I don’t mean MC types, but they were straight down the line. Always. He would come over every time we were at the same events, always brought a tray of teas over, always remembered how each of us took it, and it was Ken who worked it out. As I got older, as I grew up properly, properly for a girl, aye? Pig’s attitude was a little different each time, and don’t laugh, but I really think he was a shy man, at least where women were concerned. I had my own issues, didn’t I?

“I didn’t know what to think. I liked him, but it was a while before I realised I actually LIKED him, aye? Realised I was straight. I started to flirt a bit, and I always got a smile, and then…”

She was crying again.

“It was at a Welsh Coast do, aye? Up in the hills, and they had a bloody good band on, and I was watching the rally virgins get theirs. Always remember that one, two people staked out on the grass, starkers, aye? Everyone chilled, and nobody seeming to mind having a couple of full patches on site. We did some good business there, and it’s a gorgeous spot, and the pub wasn’t bad. Pig did his political bit, with a visiting patch from some English club, and he’s talking to some huge bastard with blonde hair for an hour, and then Ken was closing down the stall early. What are you doing, I say, and he simply says that for once he is at a rally so chilled he is going to take the day off and remember why he loves the scene.

“So he takes Mam over to the pub for a proper meal, not a fry up or a burger, and that’s being sneaky, because Pig offers to look after me, and you know, I liked that idea. Liked it a lot. He’s not that far off my age, not an MC Prez back then, not even called Pig. He was going by Goat at the time; likes his animals, he does. Did. Anyway, we hit the bar, and there’s decent ale, tinned, but still OK, and a disco, and a band, and some of the girls are really letting themselves rock out, and so I take the risk, and for the first time I am ALIVE. He was a good-looking guy before the axe and spade and shit, and there’s a twinkle in his eyes, and, well. Seems I’m straight when it comes to fucking affairs of the heart. And it’s a pretty normal evening from then on, with us sucking each other’s face off round the back of the stall, and I had enough of a chest back then to appreciate the fact that he was appreciating it, and he had his tent, and…”

I could see her fists clenching as she paused.

“We went back to his tent, and we did things, and he wanted to do other things and, yes, it is one of the ways girls like me can do those things, and I had already done several things, and then… Then all I could see, all I could hear was fucking Charlie, Charlie who says he fucking LOVES me, and I couldn’t, and he saw, did my Carling, and all he did was lift me up and hold me till morning. I could never let myself go like that again, and he knew, and he never, ever pushed it, never nagged, and that dirty old fucker destroyed my life in so many ways. If I could get away with it…”

She paused, turning to stare at me.

“No, Diane. Not true. Let that piece of shit rot and suffer, like I have. Now. Change of subject. Will you stand with me at my man’s funeral?”