Caitlin spends the night with her mother and they discuss the situation Richard had walked into. Would this help or hurt Caitlin's ability to simply be herself?

Disclaimer
This is a work of fiction. There should be no way that these characters are like anyone else, but if that isn’t the case, it has definitely been unintentional. Also, if you happen to find that your life is represented in these pages, I’ll be impressed.

Sorority Boy
By poetheather
Chap 7

The meal was fantastic, as expected. The veal was tender and tasty and the mix of vegetables was…there were no words for how good this meal really was. I had told Becca’s mom several times that she needed to start a restaurant, but she just laughed and went on with what she had been doing. But I guess that meant there would be more for me.

Afterwards I was going home, to spend the night with my mom. I would to be apart from Meredith, which would be different; as we had been together everyday since this whole madness began. It would be a change of pace, and my mother and I could actually talk. I knew she really wanted me to do some explaining and I was a bit worried about that. What could I say that could really explain this?

After dessert, I kissed Merri goodnight and headed out to mom’s car with my overnight bag. I buckled in and we drove away, waving at my friends who had come out to watch me go. I smiled and felt happy to have two such good friends, with bonus points for one of them being my lover. I certainly liked that.

The drive was quiet for a bit, almost as if we were both getting used to being around each other again. It was nice being with her, but I was getting a little nervous as well. I mean, my Mom had been a good sport so far, but there was no reason that she wouldn’t freak out on me over this. I mean, I freaked, why shouldn’t she?

I swallowed hard and began things. Might as well get the worst of this over. “So mom, how was your day?”

“Not too bad. I really enjoyed shopping with you girls. It was enjoyable and I approve of Meredith. She’s a bit unconventional, but that’s not necessarily bad.”

“I’m glad you like her. She’s awesome and I can’t believe how lucky I am to have her. True, she did all this to me, but she is a wonderful person and I am stunned by the fact that she agreed to be my girlfriend.” I really was very proud of Meredith and the fact that we were dating in a kind of pseudo-stealth fashion.

“She is nice. And very interesting. She knows a lot of stuff about movies and theater. That was a pleasant conversation she and I had. Plus Becca seems to like her, which is a bonus as well. I always knew that she had a better head on her shoulders than you did. You were the dreamer and she was the planner.” explained Mom.

“I plan.” I replied indignantly.

“I know you do, sweetie, but Becca remembers the practical portions of things. Did you even consider things past asking to join the Sorority? Like if the said yes? Or what they would do if they said yes?” asked my mother insistently.

“I didn’t think about that. I was more focused on what they were going to say and how to use that. I never really expected that they would say yes. And I especially never thought that they wouldn’t make me dress like this. I feel weird and I think, I think I kind of like this.” I admitted.

“Like what, the dressing or the attention you have been getting because of it?”

“I guess both. The clothes don’t bother me too much, once the initial freak out occurs, like the first time I wore a bikini, but they are nice, and softer by and large than guy’s clothes. It’s weird. Then there is the fact that I have a group of people who like me. I like it and I don’t want to loose these people who are trying to be my friends.”

“Even if it means you have to go to school dressed like this?” prodded my mother.

“I don’t know. I mean a part of me wants to just quit and never go back, maybe even drop out of school until I find somewhere else to go. But then there is the fact that I like the girls of my Sorority and the traditions of the House are pretty cool. I guess I have no real answer to that right now.” I stared out the window and realized that we were almost at our house.

It was much more modest than Becca’s family’s, as we hadn’t really changed our buying/ living habits once we ended up with the money. It felt wrong to benefit so much from dad’s death so we kept things simple, well, at least until this whole crazy thing happened. Since then I have been spending more than usual.

Mom pulled into the garage and we got out as the door was closing behind us. As we entered into the kitchen my mom said. “Well, maybe you need to think about that instead of just going along. From what I’ve heard, you have been having a difficult time of things and had a really bad panic attack. Maybe a resolution is what you need?”

I thought about that as I took my bag of stuff and headed up to my room while my mother was futzing around in the kitchen. Once I walked in I was struck with how much I had changed. There were no posters of guys or of faeries or horses or anything like that. I had posters of bands and sports teams. It was definitely a guy’s room. And as I looked around, smiling at my stuff I realized that this didn’t feel right for some reason. I almost felt as if I didn’t belong here.

It hadn’t been all that long, so why should I feel like that? Was I becoming a girl, despite the fact that I wasn’t planning on being a girl? Could a month really change me that month? I didn’t know, but once I set my bag down I left the room and headed back downstairs.

Mom was making some tea. She had a mug for me and I thanked her. The two of us curled up on the couch and sipped the hot beverage that she had sweetened with honey. “You really are a beautiful woman.”

I blushed and turned away a little. “Thank you mom.”

“I had wished for a daughter but had never expected my son to become her. I kind of like it as well.”

I kept blushing, not having a clue as to what to say in response to that. I mean, what do you say to that?

“I am worried about you though.”

I looked up, a bit surprised. “Why?”

“Well, if you get found out bad things could happen. I know that the girl’s said they would protect you, but at times it doesn’t help.” Her worry was obvious in her voice. I hated making my mother feel like this.

“I could just stop you know. Just go back to being me?”

She shook her head softly. “I don’t want you to. You seem to be happier than before and you have more friends. That worried me but now you seem blessed by this situation. I don’t understand why but it seems to be doing some good for you. Maybe you should stay?”

I was a bit shocked. My mother thought this crazy situation was a good idea? “You want me to be a girl, until I graduate?”

“Is it really a bad thing to spend four years as one? From what I got from Becca and Meredith, the Sorority will help you with classes, with socializing and provide you a source of support you can actually depend on in a crisis. Dorm’s don’t provide that. I know you don’t really get out and meet people often, and people are where the safety net comes from. I think I might be more worried for you if you didn’t do this.” My mom ran her hand through my hair, smiling softly as if something was running through her mind.

I sat there quietly, enjoying the feel of my mom’s fingers. I guess I could do this for four years. I had decided that earlier and even with this other stuff I think I was okay with that decision. I mean, if girls could do this, surely I could. “I think I will try to do four years in the House. It should be fun and I am sure I will learn a lot doing so. I just didn’t want to disappoint you.”

The hug was nice. “I will always be there to support you dear, either as Richard or Caitlin. I am proud of you. You have never disappointed me.”

She kissed the top of my head and let me go. “So Caitlin, want to watch something?”

I looked over to the DVD shelf and looked at things. Given how I felt and had been feeling I needed to watch Joe versus the Volcano. It was a dorky movie but it always made me feel good. Joe went from such a horrible life to one that was magical. Maybe I was doing the same thing here? I could only hope that I was so lucky.

We both laughed and cried through it, finding the ending funny. Man, I needed that luggage. With that, Meredith and I could go far from the things of man. That sounded like a good idea.

We headed our separate ways after the movie and I returned to my old room. I sat on the bed and looked around. Furniture wise it didn’t seem too male or too female. It was tidy and the only things that spoke of masculinity were the posters on the wall. Was I really so non-gendered that my room didn’t obviously scream guy except for minor decorations?

I shook my head. I really needed to stop thinking about things like this. I pulled out my nightgown and laid it on the bed. I then went over to my dresser and pulled out a pair of PJ’s, laying them out next to my nightgown. The two sat there, looking back at me. What the hell… I really had no idea what I was doing. Would choosing one negate the other? I liked the feel of my silk nightgown but my cotton pj’s were nice as well. I didn’t want to just sleep naked, as I wasn’t used to that.

Hell, this wasn’t a choice about my future, just a damn choice about tonight’s sleepwear. I grabbed the pj’s and put them back. Then I undressed and put on my nightgown. No need to get something else dirty. Then my mom would have to wash them and fold them and put them away, for what? One night of gender neutrality?

I climbed into bed and got my book out and read a little. Slowly I drifted off and fell asleep.

* * *

The shower was nice. My parents had insisted on having nice bathrooms when they got the house and the few improvements over the years had been lovely. I soaped up, mostly forgetting the curves that I had, thanks to Meredith and her stage magic. I was glad that I was so used to it that I didn’t get a hard on anymore. That had been embarrassing and I can’t believe that Gwen had caught me doing it. I blushed just thinking about it.

I got out, wrapped my towel around me and headed back to my room. The fresh smell of coffee filled the air. It was Becca’s fault that I liked coffee. She had given me some of her mom’s coffee, which she had mixed with some sugar in the raw and heavy cream. I about had a food-gasm right there. Since then I loved the stuff. It smelled like my mom had put on a put of tasty coffee.

I hustled into my room and got dressed. After I tucked I pulled on some denim shorts. Then came the bra and the t-shirt I had grabbed. It had a picture of a faerie on it, but it was cute and I looked cute in it as well, so who cared what other people thought.

I skipped downstairs and called out. “Morning mom!”

She was sitting in the kitchen, in the little breakfast nook. “Morning dear. You certainly look cute.”

“Thanks mom.” I poured my coffee and took care of the cream and sugar.

“Once you get all packed up I’ll take you over to Becca’s and you girls can head back to school.”

I nodded, hoping to wake up even more. I was sort of huddled over my cup. I was finding it difficult to get moving this morning.

“Oh, by the way, do you remember that party that you were going to go to?” It sounded like my mother was leading up to something.

“Yes…”

“It made the news.” She handed over the paper. I scanned the story and went wide eyed in horror. Several people had gotten caught with that date rape drug. That could have been me, or Becca or Merri. I looked up at my mother with fear in my eyes.

She took me up in her arms and held me tight. “Don’t worry so much sweetie. There are bad people in the world but I think both Meredith and Becca can help you learn what you need to in order to stay safe.”

I nodded, still shocked by the news. “I also wanted to let you know that I really approve of Meredith. She’s a good girl and I think you’re lucky to have her.”

At the thought of Meredith I smiled. Just thinking about her made me happy. Once I finished my coffee and a English muffin with butter and honey, we headed back.

The other girls were waiting for me, the car already loaded. I put my bag in the trunk and then the hugs began. We all had to hug Becca’s mom and mine. They both held me longer than they had the others. It felt good and helped me to relax. Maybe I could handle this, after all both my moms were okay with this.

The hugging over the three of us got in the car and pulled out of the driveway, waving at the mothers. Once they were out of view, Becca cranked up the CD player. For a while we sort of danced in our seats to Dave Matthews. It was nice.

“So, was it a good trip overall?” asked Becca as she drove.

“It really was. Thank you both. I feel better, I really do. Knowing that I won’t loose anyone over this is reassuring.”

“So crisis over?” Meredith was in the backseat leaning forward, playing with my hair.

“For now. I am sure I will have more issues, but I think I can do this. And besides Rush week is over. Surely the rest of the year can’t be that stressed.”

Becca and Merri shared a look and I wondered what it was about. “Caitlin, first off you have school work to consider and added to that there are all the activities you will have to do as a pledge. It will be tough. We’ll be there though, so don’t worry.”

I nodded. “Well, if you two can’t keep me sane, who can?”