Joe Ivy who had been recently found not guilty by an all male jury of the date rape of Cindy Barnes was found dazed and confused on a street corner normally habituated by sex workers. He was found to have very large breasts glued on and his penis had been pulled back and glued so he would be unable to use it for sex.

He had no memory of the last three days and it is rumored that the glue used was the recent popular GLOO which permanently bonds after 72 hours meaning that the breasts can't be removed without surgery nor can his penis be freed.

This seems to be the latest vigilante action by a group calling themselves members of The GLOOrious Revolution. The alarming rise in such incidents has prompted politicians (all male) to call for the banning of the sale of GLOO. There has also been a run on the solvent used to remove anything that has been GLOOD with prices on eBay and Craig's List running many times the regular price. The company says it cannot keep pace with the demand as the solvent is much more difficult to manufacture than the GLOO itself.

GLOO Industries reported their main warehouse was burglarized over the weekend and their entire inventory stolen after the government banned sales and moved to destroy the existing stocks. The GLOOrious Revolution has taken credit for the theft and warns that justice will be meted out to all males who sexually harass or harm women.

Reports are already coming in from all over the country and men are being extra careful not to be caught anywhere alone. The President's security detail has been doubled as a precaution.

It has also been discovered that GLOO industries has been unable to manufacture any more solvent as the chemical used were contaminated at the same time as the theft. Hospitals are requesting that anyone having solvent to please donate it as they are beginning to be deluged with men having appliances or clothes attached. Without solvent most of these men are running out of time before their condition becomes permanent.

Men are also seeking the protection of women when going out in public and employers are working to be certified as free from sexual harrassment. Strip clubs reportedly are closing all over the country though a few have reopened with men who have been GLOOD dancing in place of real women.

Judges are handing down harsher sentences in cases of rape or other crimes against women after several judges who handed out light sentences were found permanently dressed as little girls.

The GLOOrious Revolution Party is poised to take over many state legislatures as most current male politicians have opted to retire and males are afraid to run. Many women are running on the slogan 'Women stick together' and 'Boobs for boobs,' referring to proposed legislation that all men have their own breasts permanently GLOOD on. Bra sales have skyrocketed as stock in companies manufacturing female undergarments are seeing a their shares skyrocket in value.

The President says that the Revolution has triumphed and urges the more radical members to stop their vigilante actions after the former President was found with a GLOOD pussy saying it is time for the nation to heal.

"GLOO has bonded us together to become a better nation."

In other news the Russin Prime Minister has disappeared and rumors abound that he was found GLOOD and spirited away so that the press would not find out.