One boy is about to learn that he has already passed such an event, and nothing will ever be quite the same…

The announcer was a student from the senior class:

“Good morning, everyone! I’m Tina Flaubert, Chairperson of the Homecoming Committee. I’m here to announce those elected to this year’s Homecoming Court.

“A Princess has been chosen from each class. I’ll announce the winners beginning with the Freshman Homecoming Princess, next Sophomore, Junior, and Senior Homecoming Princesses in order, then the Homecoming Queen.

“The winner of the senior ballots is declared Homecoming Queen, with the runner-up becoming Senior Princess.”

Since Mr. Markham thought the television too loud, he turned the sound lower. But if Kelly or Rhonda won, then every girl in his homeroom would begin screaming in celebration. The Homecoming Chairperson continued:

“If your name is announced, please report immediately to the Guidance Office. From there, you will be taken to the West Grove Mall, where you will be attired formally and treated to a makeover for the Homecoming Ceremonies at Kaufmann and Kaufmann’s Wedding and Formalwear Boutique for Men and Women and Maxine’s New House of Glamor. The Homecoming Ceremonies will be celebrated at midfield during halftime of tonight’s football game.

“And please be ready to name a boy, also from your own class, whom you would like to be your escort at the Homecoming Ceremonies.

“The Freshman Homecoming Princess, elected by a close margin is Kelly Harrigan…”

Kelly gasped at the news. She heard the squeals and screams from her girlfriends in class along with slightly more sedate cheers and remarks of approval from the boys.

“Again, this year's Freshman Homecoming Princess is Kelly Harrigan…”

Mr. Markham immediately moved to quiet the class down, first by clearing his throat loudly, then offering Kelly his own praise. “Ahem! Calm down, please!” he began. “Congratulations, Miss Harrigan!” Ernest handed her a hall pass which she promptly clipped to her ID lanyard.

“Thank you, Mister Markham,” she told him smiling, realizing for the first time that happy tears were flowing down her cheeks. She wished for a moment that she could’ve hugged him, but he was too reserved to go along with it. Yet she needed to address an issue with him. “I haven’t seen Brandon MacDonald yet this morning. When he comes in, could you please send him down to the Guidance Office. I’m naming him as my Knight-Escort.”

Mr. Markham smiled back to Kelly. “I’ll do that Miss Harrigan,” he assured her. “You’d better get going so you’ll be there on time.”

Brandon awoke groggily, his eyes glancing at the pastel blue walls around him. He counted three blurry, upright forms standing or sitting near him. Raising his right hand to his face he touched a clear, plastic mask strapped over his mouth and nose. He then knew that he was breathing a stream of pure diatomic oxygen (O₂), which felt somewhat refreshing to him. But he also felt some discomfort from an intravenous (IV) tube that had been inserted into his left arm. The three blurry, upright forms then resolved slowly into the familiar figures of Mom, Dad, and Sis. His father nodded and his mother removed the mask from their son’s face.

“Where am I?” the confused boy asked.

“You’re in our new Adolescent Ward at Saint Luke’s,” Dad told him. His father’s face appeared to relax after a long wait, more from relief than anything else.

You gave us quite a scare earlier this morning,” added Mom. “You woke up very suddenly, screaming, and in considerable respiratory distress. We gave you assistance breathing, called an ambulance, and had them bring you to the emergency room here.”

“Your symptoms appeared to resemble an extreme panic attack,” Nathan told his son. “But we still need to have a specialist come in to see you.”

“I kept having nightmares,” said Brandon. “I know I woke up a few times. I was sweating so much that I even had to change my pajamas in the middle of the night.”

“And you were soaked again when we brought you in,” Mom informed him.

“You were very dehydrated. That’s what the I-Vee’s for,” said his father. “Sheila said that you drank a bottle of a sports beverage overnight. You probably wouldn’t have done that if you hadn’t felt dehydrated.”

“I don’t remember that,” Brandon told them.

“You left the empty bottle on the kitchen table,” Sheila recalled. “It was at your usual place.” She smiled at her brother.

Returning the smile, Brandon said, “This is Homecoming Day, Sis. You should be at school.”

“And leave my little brother alone in the hospital?” Sheila retorted in mock protest, bending over to kiss his cheek.

“Mom, have you called the school office yet?” Brandon asked. “That’s the only way to get my absence excused. And if Sis stays with me, she’ll need hers excused, too.”

“I haven’t called the school yet,” Mom told him. “I did have Sheila bring along your books, laptop, and cellphone, although we ask you not to call on it in the hospital. You can call out from the room’s telephone.”

“Also, you can hook up to the Internet in this room,” added his father. “We have our own Tee-three line here at Saint Luke’s.”

“Good,” said Brandon. “I can email Jenny.”

“Who’s Jenny?” Dad asked him.

“Jenny Chang,” the boy replied. “She’s my girlfriend.”

“Since when have you had a girlfriend, son?” his father inquired further.

“Since Jenny and I made out on the school roof next to the weather station yesterday.”

“What?” Dad asked, wondering how much he had been missing of his children’s lives.

“Dad, Brandon and Jenny are lab partners in Earth Science,” Sheila explained. “It was their turn to take data at the weather station. They kissed for the first time up there. It’s kind of a school tradition.”

Nathan let his first smile appear since awakening to his son’s emergency that morning. Putting his hand on Brandon’s head, he mussed with the boy’s hair. The son grinned back to his dad and then his mom and sister.

“Sis, could you bring me my laptop and books?” Brandon requested. Sheila lugged her brother’s backpack over to his bed.

“How do I set up my laptop in here?” Brandon asked. “I mean, where’s the Internet connection?”

His mom smiled. “There are ports both near the floor by the bed and on the wall behind it.”

“Libby, if you could help Brandon set-up, I’ll go to my office and call the school,” suggested Nathan. “Sheila, come with me. I may need your help calling in.”

Kelly hopped, skipped, and jumped along the corridor to the main stairs, which she bounded down two or three at a time. She reached the Guidance Office ahead of everyone else, figuring that she’d be wearing a formal gown tonight instead of her cheer uniform. But being the Freshman Homecoming Princess was not participating any less in school spirit than being a junior varsity cheerleader.

Marla Peterson, the office assistant, was not at her desk, so beaming, Kelly peeked into the Freshman Guidance Counselor’s office. “Good morning, Doctor van de Meer!”

“Good morning, Kelly!” Xenia smiled back. “How are you today?”

“On Cloud Nine!” the cheerleader answered. “I was voted Freshman Homecoming Princess. They said to report here.”

“Congratulations, then, my dear!” the counselor offered her. “Do you have an escort yet?”

“I’m naming Brandon as my Knight-Escort.”

“Is he the same Brandon whom you wished to make into a girl yesterday?”

Kelly giggled as she nodded to her guidance counselor. “So long as he’s still a boy, I may as well ask him.”

“Are you sure he’ll agree to it?”

“Yes, he will,” affirmed Kelly. The one thing that I do know Brandon and I have in common is loyalty to the school. We share respect for the school traditions and his school spirit is as strong as my own. If I ask him to be my escort, he’ll not refuse.”

“You think quite highly of him,” Xenia observed.

“I’ll admit—I’ve had a crush on him since grade school.”

Dr. Van de Meer thought back to her conversation with Cat Riley-Harrigan the previous afternoon. Was Brandon the boy who’d broken Kelly’s heart? Xenia couldn’t help but think that this otherwise bright, cheerful young woman was perhaps obsessing over him, first hoping to feminize him yesterday, but seeking him in a young gentleman’s role today.

“Have you talked to him about being your escort yet?”

“Not quite,” Kelly hedged. “I didn’t want to talk about it beforehand so I wouldn’t jinx it.”

“Well, I hope he’s willing to do that for you,” Dr. Van de Meer wished for her. But the counselor also wondered if Brandon might prefer to escort Jenny Chang to the Homecoming Game tonight as well as to the Homecoming Dance tomorrow evening.

About that time, Xenia and Kelly could hear the others elected to the Homecoming Court gathering in the Guidance Office. Looking outside Dr. Van de Meer’s office door, the JayVee cheerleader observed everyone huddling around Tina Flaubert, who beckoned her over to join them.

“Congratulations, Kelly!” Tina addressed her, pulling her into a hug, which the Homecoming Queen-Elect and the other Princesses-Elect all joined. The same greeting was offered to each Princess-Elect in her turn, culminating in congratulations to the Queen.

“So which Knights of West Grove High School will you nominate as your Knights-Escort to accompany you to the Homecoming Ceremonies during halftime?” Tina asked them. “The Freshman Princess-Elect must nominate hers first. Again, we follow the order from Freshman to Senior Princesses, and then the Queen. By the way, for those of you who are wondering, the protocols all run from Freshman to Senior to help build suspense and a sense of culmination at the end. A couple of you have been Homecoming Princesses before, but others are new to it. So, Kelly Harrigan, who will be your Knight?”

“I nominate Brandon MacDonald as my Knight-Escort.”

The others quietly applauded before Tina asked for the next Princess-Elect’s nominee.

Nearly a hundred miles away at State University, Nancy Danziger perused her dormitory closet for a few items of her own apparel that might yet fit her little brother.

Nancy’s roommate, Lauren, entered the room from the hallway, wearing a bathrobe, slippers, and her hair wrapped in a towel turban-style. She noticed Nancy looking carefully over a few of her skirts and blouses.

“Have trouble packing for your trip home?” Lauren asked.

“No, I’ve already packed my things,” said Nancy. “But I’m still trying to put an outfit together for someone else.”

“I know that you have a younger brother, but you’ve never mentioned any sister to me before.”

“That’s ’cause I only have the younger brother,” clarified Nancy with a mischievous grin. “And he did ask my help, after all.”

“What kind of help?”

“Billy thinks he may’ve lost his ‘coolness’ at school by not participating in our traditional ‘Gender-Bender Day’ during Homecoming Week,” explained Nancy. “In my opinion as an alumna, a valedictorian, a former pompom girl, past Sophomore and Junior Classes’ Homecoming Princesses, my little brother needs to get in touch with his inner girl.”

“I wish I could be there,” giggled Lauren with a glint of mischief in her own eyes. “Few things are quite so much fun as making your little brother over into your little sister.”

“Have you done this before?”

“Oh, yeah!”

“Do you have any plans for this weekend?”

“No. Not really. Why?”

“Having someone experienced there might really help.”

Lauren just giggled.

Marla Peterson returned to the Guidance Office to see the members of the Homecoming Court milling about. She carried a folder and went first to her desk to check for telephone messages. None of the message lights were on, so she went to distribute absentee reports to the counselors.

“Ellen, here’s the morning senior class call-ins,” Marla said handing a one-page print-out to the Senior Class Guidance Counselor, who was getting ready to address the Homecoming Court.

“Thanks, Marla,” she said, quickly glancing down the page. “We can get this show on the road now—well, as soon as the driver gets here, anyway.”

Next, Miss Peterson stepped into Dr. Van de Meer’s office. “Xee, your class absentee report,” she said, handing the document to her.

“Thank you, Marla,” offered Xenia, glancing down the report when the name MacDonald, Brandon caught her eye. “Oh wait! If Kelly Harrigan’s still out there I need to talk to her right away.”

“Sure—she’s still here,” confirmed the office assistant. “I’ll send her right back.”

Kelly peeked into Dr. Van de Meer’s office for the second time today. “Miss Peterson said you wanted to see me?”

“Yes,” the counselor answered. Then she addressed Kelly in a more subdued voice, “Please pull the door closed and sit down.”

“What’s wrong?” Kelly asked, noting that Dr. Van de Meer had a much more serious demeanor than just a few minutes earlier.

“I’m sorry to tell you this, but Brandon MacDonald was rushed to the emergency room at Saint Luke’s Episcopal Hospital earlier this morning,” Xenia told her. “His dad called to say that they’ve admitted him for at least a twenty-four hour stay.”

“Omigosh!” Kelly cried, visibly shaken by the news. “What’s wrong?”

“That’s all I can tell you, Kelly,” said Dr. Van de Meer. “I don’t have any more information. Even if I did, I couldn’t likely tell you for privacy reasons. I’m only telling you this much because you need to know that Brandon can’t make it to the Homecoming Game.”

The tears flowed readily from Kelly’s green eyes. Xenia had anticipated the girl’s reaction and had a newly opened box of facial tissue ready, which she set on the edge of her desk for her. Kelly took a few tissues from the box to begin wiping her tears away.

“I so wanted Brandon for this,” the cheerleader lamented.

“Do you have a backup plan?”

“Didn’t think I needed one.”

“Then here’s a new lesson for you, Kelly,” said the counselor. “Always have a backup plan. So, is there no other boy whom you’d consider as an escort?”

Kelly continued wiping her face. “I kinda like Billy Danziger, but he doesn’t have any school spirit,” Kelly told Dr. Van de Meer. “Seriously, it wouldn’t be right to name him. Besides, I don’t remember him even showing up in homeroom today.”

Xenia scanned the absentee report and noted that Billy Danziger’s name was not listed. “He’s not listed as absent today. He might’ve come in tardy.”

“He frequently does,” confirmed Kelly, continuing to sniffle. “After all, he thinks he’s ‘cool.’ ”

“Anyone else?” Xenia inquired.

Kelly just shook her head. “No,” she denied. “Besides, I already named Brandon as my Knight-Escort to the Homecoming Chairperson. So I guess I need to tell Tina about it.”

The girl got up to leave, but the counselor stopped her. “Wait, Kelly! I can ask her to come in here.” She picked up her interoffice telephone and dialed an extension. “Marla, could you ask the Homecoming Chairperson to come in here?” Xenia asked her.

“Surely, Xee,” answered Marla. “Tina’s still here.”

Billy sat with his back to the wall of the Laboratory Annex. This time he was smoking—not a cigarette, but a small stainless steel pipe of marijuana. His thumb clamped a penny over the bowl of the pipe, giving him the dual advantage of not leaking the aroma of cannabis, while at the same time maximizing the delivery of the active ingredient, tetrahydrocannabinol, to his system.

Somehow, Homecoming Week just seemed so stupid to Billy. All the jocks were wearing their jerseys today. The cheerleaders, varsity and junior varsity, wore their uniforms as did the majorettes and pompom girls. And so many of the students were wearing shirts and jackets with the logo of the West Grove Knights. This whole notion of “school spirit” made no sense to Billy. Maybe Nancy could explain it all to him when she got home.

Billy could feel the cannabis in his pipe burning out. He broke open a packet of a couple of saltines, which he then stuffed into his mouth to absorb the aroma of the marijuana, eliminating its smell from his breath. Munching the saltines, he popped a can of diet cola open and washed it all down. He turned the bowl of his little pipe over and tapped it firmly a few times, knocking the ash of his marijuana onto the ground. He used some loose soil to bury the ash.

No one would be the wiser.

Billy Danziger got up from the ground and went inside the Laboratory Annex and headed for the Men’s Room. He’d wait to begin his school day when he usually did—with his second period class.

A moment later, the door to Dr. van de Meer’s office opened again. Tina Flaubert stepped in. “You wanted to see me?” she asked.

Dr. Van de Meer looked at Tina. “Kelly just learned that her chosen Knight-Escort is in the hospital.”

“I’m sorry, Kelly!” Tina tried to reassure her. “Do you have a second choice to name?”

“No,” sighed Kelly. “I don’t really want anyone else. Can you tell me who the runner-up on the freshman ballot is?”

“Rhonda Davies,” answered Tina.

Kelly looked up to make eye contact with Tina. “Y’know, I like Rhonda. She’s such a sweetie,” said Kelly. “I’m gonna decline Homecoming Princess so she can have it.”

“Why?” Tina asked her.

“I never even thought about a second choice for an escort,” she said. Then Kelly admitted, “I just wouldn’t feel right with anyone else but Brandon as my Knight-Escort.”

“Are you sure this is what you want, Kelly?” Xenia asked her.

“Yes,” the girl squeaked. Her new round of sniffling seemed almost to contradict her head nodding to affirm the decision. “I’m still a cheerleader, so I can continue to support the team that way tonight. I’m happy enough to turn down Homecoming Princess in favor of Rhonda.”

“Is that your final word on it, Kelly?” Tina asked her. “Once I offer it to Rhonda, there’s no going back.”

“I’m so sorry, Tina,” sobbed Kelly, “but I can’t do it—I don’t want it—without Brandon.”

“Brandon, I’d like you to meet someone whom your mom and I both have worked with on occasion,” his father said, introducing him to a tall, blond-haired woman in her mid-thirties. “This is Doctor Theresa Windham. She’s a psychiatrist who specializes in the kinds of problems that children and teenagers can have.”

“Do I gotta talk to a shrink, Dad?”

“Son, don’t call Doctor Windham a shrink.”

“It’s okay, Nate,” she dismissed the boy’s remark. “I even tell my patients to call me that.”

“But Brandon knows better,” Dr. MacDonald objected.

“Nate, let it go,” Theresa told him, smiling. “He’s my patient now. I do need to interview him privately, so you can go, too.” She motioned toward the door. Nathan dutifully left his son’s room, shutting the door behind him.

Dr. Windham pulled up a chair beside Brandon’s bed. “Now that your dad’s out of the room, you can call me ‘Teri’ if you want.”

“How ’bout just calling you ‘Doc’?”

“Calling me ‘Doc’ is just fine,” she agreed with a smile. “So, what can you tell me about how you felt during the night?”

“I had nightmare after nightmare,” he told her. “I was really frightened.”

“Can you remember them?”

“I can’t remember all the details.”

“Can you remember the main themes?”

“Oh, yeah!” answered Brandon, looking up somewhat sheepishly. “They were all about the same thing.”

“And what was that?”

Brandon felt embarrassed as he recalled the dreams. “I’m afraid of telling you.”

“You don’t need to be,” she tried to reassure him. “I’m not allowed to tell anyone else what you say without your permission—not even your mom or dad, unless I think you could be a danger to yourself or others.”

Brandon thought for a moment and looked Dr. Windham in the eye. “The nightmares were about something happening at school,” he began. “Our Homecoming Game is tonight and we’ve been having special activities all week.”

Theresa smiled at her young patient. “Homecoming can be such a big deal at some schools,” she affirmed. “It certainly was at mine.”

“Did your school’s Homecoming Week include a ‘Gender-Bender Day’?” Brandon inquired.

Kelly sat down on the sofa in the lounge area of the Ladies’ Room. She pulled her smartphone from her purse and pulled up Brandon’s mobile number on its little screen. When she called, it rolled over immediately to his voice mail. So she left a message and put her smartphone back in her purse. But not able to talk to Brandon, or otherwise find out what was wrong with him, she felt even more upset.

So Kelly pulled a 375-ml bottle of peppermint schnapps out of her purse. She also had a small bag of hard peppermint candies to help conceal her use of alcohol. She’d been afraid that the single-malt Scotch whisky that she’d had yesterday might be detected on her breath. Besides, everyone knew that she liked peppermint, anyway. She unscrewed the bottle cap off the schnapps and sipped about a shot of it down before hiding it in her purse again. Next, Kelly tore the plastic wrapper off a peppermint candy and popped it into her mouth.

She stood up and walked over to the row of sinks, inspecting her face in the mirror. She had cried since she’d heard Brandon was at St. Luke’s until she took her drink of schnapps. Her makeup had run down her face and needed serious repair. She looked again at her smartphone to check the time. Since less than fifteen minutes remained in first period, she chose to use the time to fix her makeup, then just go to her second period class.

Right then, the door opened and Abigail Abernathy, another JayVee cheerleader entered. She was a beautiful brunette with stunning blue eyes.

“Good morning, Abby-Abby,” Kelly greeted her fellow cheerleader and classmate. (Due to her unusual combination of given name and surname, Miss Abernathy had the nicknames “Abby-Abby” and “Double Abby” as well as simply “Abby.”) “Excited about the big game tonight?”

“I am,” affirmed Abby as she removed a kit containing her newly acquired contact lenses from her purse. “Wait a minute! Shouldn’t you be at the mall for your makeover? I thought you won Freshman Homecoming Princess?”

“I did, but I declined it when I found out that my chosen escort was taken to the hospital earlier today?”

“Well, that’s too bad,” Abby consoled her colleague as she removed her glasses. “Who was he?”

“Brandon,” disclosed Kelly as she continued to clean her face up.

“You’ve been after him for such a long time,” observed the other cheerleader, placing a lens in her right eye. “But I hear he’s going with Jenny Chang now.”

“I know. I saw them having lunch together yesterday,” Kelly admitted sadly. “But he’d’ve still been my Knight-Escort if he’d been able. He’s into school tradition as much as any of us on the cheer squad. In fact, he might be disappointed to find out he was my choice and couldn’t come.”

“Why’s he in the hospital?” Abby asked as she blinked her right eye to help settle her new lens into the correct position.

“Don’t know. He was taken to the emergency room at Saint Luke’s is all I’ve heard. His mom and dad are both on staff there.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“His dad’s a doctor and his mom’s a nurse.” Kelly continued repairing her makeup.

“So, who’s Freshman Homecoming Princess now?” Abby asked as she put the other lens into her left eye.

“Rhonda Davies was the runner-up,” Kelly informed her friend. “And I feel good about her getting it, too.”

“I’m just sorry you felt you had to give up the title.” Abby blinked her left eye a few times. “Oo! This is too weird!”

“What’s too weird?”

“How things look through my contact lenses,” clarified Abby.

“How do they look?”

“Distorted—more distant than they are,” described Abby. “It’s kinda like whenever I get new eyeglasses. It can take a day or two for my eyes to adjust to them.”

“That’s interesting,” remarked Kelly. “Are you wearing them at the game tonight?”

“That’s why I paid extra shipping for the rush order,” explained Abby. “I wanted these for Homecoming.”

“What’s wrong with your glasses?”

“I’m tired of wearing them,” Abby complained. “And they hide too much of my face.”

“I’ve always thought you looked so cute in those glasses,” Kelly assured her. “You can pull the look off really well.”

“Now you’re just saying that!”

“No, its true!” Kelly stepped over and gave her friend and teammate a hug. Then she felt a small tingle run through her body.

“You smell like peppermint,” Abby observed. Kelly just grinned and offered her two pieces of hard peppermint candy from her purse. “Why, thank you, Kelly!” she accepted the candy graciously. She dropped one into her own purse and tore the wrapper off the other to pop into her mouth.

“I hope your new contact lenses work out alright,” Kelly wished her. “See you in Spanish class after lunch?”

“Mm-hmm,” answered Abby. “In fact, unless you have other plans already, why don’t-cha join me for lunch?”

“I’ll look for you, then.”

“You woke up in a panic attack that your nightmare had triggered,” Dr. Windham diagnosed after Brandon had recounted most of his previous night’s frightening dream.

“It didn’t feel very good,” Brandon reported. “I had trouble breathing.”

“That’s why your parents rushed you to the emergency room here,” explained Theresa. “Your dad wasn’t certain why you had such difficulty breathing until he could examine you more closely. When he narrowed your symptoms down to a possible panic attack, he asked me for my medical opinion because as a psychiatrist, my specialty includes that kind of problem. My opinion is that he’s right.”

“All this because of a nightmare?”

“You might find it surprising how powerful dreams can be,” said Dr. Windham. “What happened to you isn’t really too unusual. But it’s new to you, so I’d like to help you understand it.”

“The nightmare seemed so real,” related Brandon. “I remember trying to escape from the girls by diving into the mall’s central fountain, then when I woke up, my pajamas were drenched. I had to change them in the middle of the night.”

“Wow! That sounds like a little too much realism,” concurred the smiling psychiatrist. “No wonder it got to you. It would’ve gotten to me, too. Now, you mentioned that you were trying to escape from this group of girls. Why?”

“I’ve known them all since middle school or even grade school. Yesterday, they were trying to convince me to become a girl,” recalled Brandon. “My girlfriend calls them ‘the Swarm.’ ”

“The ‘Swarm’?”

“The Queen Bee and her Wannabes,” clarified Brandon. Theresa giggled at the definition.

“Now, what can you tell me about these girls—the ‘Swarm’? Who are they? What kind of relationship do you have with them?”

“They’re the most popular girls in the Freshman Class. There are six of them,” began Brandon. “Val Schmidt is their leader and Debbi Snyder is her best friend. Then there’s Teri Hamilton and Holly Thompson. I didn’t want to call you ‘Teri’ because then I’d think about her instead of you. She’s not very likable. Holly isn’t very bright, but she has about the kindest heart of anyone I know. Kelly Harrigan is kind of wild and has constantly teased me since we were in kindergarten. She just won’t leave me alone and sometimes she can really frighten me. Then Alice Johansson, I think, is the most intelligent of them, and she’s really nice to me. We’re lab partners in German class. And when the Swarm got on my case at lunch yesterday, she stepped in and intervened.”

“How did they get on your case?”

“They invited themselves to join Jenny and me at lunch yesterday,” related Brandon. “They said that they wanted us to join their group.”

“Even though you’re a boy?”

“That’s what was so crazy,” the boy continued. “They said they’d help me become a girl. They think that I’m really a girl on the inside and that I want to be one of them.”

“Did any of them actually say that?”

“Oh, yeah!” Brandon confirmed. “And I’m sure they meant it, too.”

“Do you know any reason why they might think that?”

“When we had ‘Gender-Bender Day’ on Wednesday, we were supposed to dress up as the opposite sex, but I think I did it too well.”

“Oh?” Dr. Windham signaled her interest. “How did you do it too well?”

Brandon sighed before trying to recollect what had happened. “I needed something of a girl’s to wear, so I swapped my dress suit with Debbi for one of her dresses. We’re both about the same size and build. Then I borrowed a pair of high-heeled pumps and a matching purse from Val. Mom and Sis got me lingerie and pantyhose and helped me with my hair and makeup. Dressing me up was a lot of fun for them.”

“Was it fun for you?”

“Well, it seemed to be fun when I did it Wednesday,” admitted Brandon. “In fact, I liked dressing up like a girl. But then yesterday, I felt guilty and ashamed because I had.”

“But this was a designated school activity that you participated in, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. But not many boys went as far as I did,” he explained. “Most boys only wore a single item of girls’ clothing and either made it look silly, or wore it under their regular clothes.”

“When you said you did it too well, is that what you meant?”

“Well, that’s not all,” continued Brandon. “Wednesday, Debbi took some video of me in English class. Alice downloaded it to my laptop during lunchtime yesterday. I looked at it with Jenny at school and then with Sheila at home. The consensus seems to be that I moved and acted like a real girl. But I don’t really know how I could’ve learned to do that.”

“Do you have the video here?”

“I think so. It should still be on my laptop.” Brandon opened his computer and set the power switch, starting its boot-up sequence. “I should prob’ly email Jenny anyway.”

“Who’s Jenny?”

“As of yesterday, she’s my girlfriend.”

“Tell me about her,” she told him. “Your dad said you’d mentioned a new girlfriend to him earlier.”

“Her name’s Jenny Chang, she’s in all my classes except first period, and we’re lab partners in Earth Science and Computer Science,” Brandon explained. “And we made out next to the rooftop weather station for the first time yesterday morning.”

“On the roof?”

“Uh-huh. It was our turn to collect data from the weather station,” he explained with the polite excitement due a boy’s first love. “After we finished recording data, she kissed me. Then just before we went back to class, I kissed her. And then we learned that making out next to the rooftop weather station is a school tradition.”

“That’s so sweet!” the psychiatrist sang out. “She kissed you first?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you excited about Jenny?” Dr. Windham asked.

“Oh yeah, Doc!” Brandon replied with the mixed signals of a blushing enthusiasm. “She’s cute, exotic, sweet, and really, really intelligent. I’d been working up to asking her out since school started, but like I said, she kissed me first.”

“Sometimes, we girls know when to go after whom we want,” she said, smiling. “Especially when we’re smart.”

Brandon grinned at Dr. Windham’s remark. He refocused his attention on his laptop and ran the video, turning the screen toward Theresa’s view. “That’s me in the blue and green dress,” he told her. “Debbi, who loaned me the dress, took the video during our third period English class.”

“What were you doing in your class just then?”

“We were taking a short quiz.”

Dr. Windham watched the video images carefully. “Brandon, your behavior is impeccably feminine. Did anyone coach you for it?”

“Sheila tried to show me how to walk in high-heeled shoes, but except for that, no,” calmly denied Brandon. “I didn’t know I had done it until I saw the video.”

“Interesting,” she remarked. “You look and act like any other girl your age.”

“That’s why it worries me,” the boy admitted. “I wasn’t trying to act like a girl, but I just did it without even trying.”

“And this upsets you?”

“Kinda,” whimpered Brandon.

“Well, did you consider that you could do this because you’ve always paid attention to the differences between boys’ and girls’ behaviors?” Dr. Windham suggested. “So, when you put on a dress for the first time, you already knew how to behave. To me, it’s no great mystery.”

“But it still feels kinda weird.”

“Of course it does. You went beyond your comfort zone. You may feel things you’ve never felt before whenever you do. That’s not at all surprising.”

“But I still feel guilty about it.”

“Really?” Dr. Windham queried. “I don’t think it was guilt that you felt. Could it’ve been another feeling?”

“Maybe,” admitted Brandon. “But I don’t know what.”

Dr. Windham smiled at the boy. “Let me suggest a few ideas to you,” she said. “First, don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone. That’s what you did Wednesday, and you seemed to have enjoyed it, even if you did regret it later. Stepping out of your comfort zone is very much necessary for you to have new experiences and learn new things.

“Next, as you mature, you will learn to make finer distinctions in your own feelings, your own emotions. That’s why I asked you, if it was guilt that you felt yesterday, or if it were perhaps something else? Also, that will help you learn how to see those distinctions in others. Learning to recognize finer distinctions in feelings will improve your ability to start and maintain relationships.”

“But I’m worried about something else, Doc,” confessed Brandon, sniffling. “I’m really afraid because—because—”

“Yes?…”

“I really liked dressing like a girl. And I think I wanna do it again, too,” he confided. “There! I said it! But is there something wrong with me ’cause I do?” The boy looked at Dr. Windham with tears in his eyes.

Theresa simply leaned back in her chair and grinned at him. “Don’t worry, Brandon,” the psychiatrist said in her most reassuring voice. “You’re among very good company.”

Brandon wondered, what could Dr. Windham mean by that?

“I think you need to tell your parents what you just told me.”

“But I can’t,” Brandon objected. “I’d be way too embarrassed!”

“Brandon, didn’t your mom and sister help you get dressed up Wednesday?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled.

“And how did they feel about it?”

“It was fun and exciting for them.”

“Did they appear to have been embarrassed by you?”

“No. If anything, they were kinda proud of me.”

“So, how do you think your mom might take it, then?”

“She might take it well?”

Quietly, Dr. Windham simply nodded. “Brandon, I’ve known your parents for a very long time. They’re much more tolerant than most. Give them a chance to show that they can accept you for who you are.”

“Do you think they’d not be upset by what I’ve told you?”

“Again, give them a chance,” the psychiatrist told him. “And if you do tell your parents, then I will also recommend that they allow you to dress as a girl at home if you want. I think that you may need to give yourself permission to experiment a little with it.”

Brandon thought back to his conversation with Sheila the previous evening. He had wanted to try dressing up en femme at home, but now a psychiatrist was recommending it for him. “But do I have to?” Brandon asked. “I’m still kinda scared of doing it.”

“No, you don’t have to,” assured Dr. Windham. “But I’m suggesting you give yourself permission to explore who you are.”

“Give myself permission?”

“Yes, Brandon,” she emphasized. “Again, you need to give yourself permission to step outside your comfort zone, permission to make mistakes, even permission to fail at something.”

“Permission to fail?”

“We all need to try new things,” she continued. “Especially those things that might be different from our usual kinds of activities or many unexpected and spontaneous now and then. But we still need to take on those challenges knowing that sometimes we may not succeed. That’s how we stretch our abilities. It’s how we learn—by risking and sometimes even making mistakes. That’s what I mean by ‘stepping out of your comfort zone.’ ”

“But I don’t like to make mistakes,” objected Brandon. “I don’t like to be wrong.”

“Of course not! None of us do.” Dr. Windham assured him smiling. “But we’re all human and we will make mistakes, we will be wrong, we will fail at things. But we can also learn from those mistakes, correct what’s wrong, and try again. And key to that is accepting that we’re fallible and forgiving ourselves when things don’t go according to plan. When we do, we both gain experience and build character.”

“I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

“Then you can start.” Just then, a paging device on the psychiatrist’s lanyard beeped. “Brandon, I have another patient I need to see right away. I do want to talk to you again, but next time with your parents, too, if you’re alright with that. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll see you later.”

“Sure, Doc,” Brandon consented. “See ya later!”

With that, Dr. Windham got up and left her patient’s room. As she went her way, she considered Brandon’s diagnosis. His toxicology report was clean—no drugs or alcohol. No sign of any seizure disorder was observable. His panic attack seemed a single acute occurrence rather than any general anxiety disorder. That was still possible, but she’d need to have his parents watch him longer term for any more symptoms. The boy’s gender identity had certainly been challenged, but she could hardly diagnose it as a disorder, not yet anyway, although she found his impeccably feminine behavior in the video curious.

None of those issues had really bothered her about Brandon. No, what really concerned her were signs of yet another problem that she needed to examine further. Teri would need to call in a colleague to confirm her psychiatric intuition. If confirmed, then she’d have to break the news to Nate and Libby.

Diagnosing and treating colleagues’ children could be uncomfortable and fraught with stress. But it had to be done. As awkward as it may be, as the specialist in childhood and adolescent psychiatry at St. Luke’s, she was the only one who could do it.

Kelly met up with Holly Thompson on their way to the Technology Building. They were lab partners for Computer Science. The course was not at all difficult for Kelly, but Holly had struggled with it almost from the beginning. So Kelly had taken Holly under her wing. Helping her friend learn had become more interesting to Kelly than the course itself. Yet in recent days, her growing sexual attraction to Holly was starting to become worrisome.

“Kelly! I didn’t expect to see you in class today,” exclaimed Holly in surprise. “Shouldn’t you be on your way to the mall?”

“I had given them Brandon’s name as my Knight-Escort for the Homecoming Ceremony tonight,” explained Kelly. “Then I found out Brandon was rushed to St. Luke’s this morning.”

“Omigosh! What’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know,” replied Kelly, holding the building’s door open for Holly. “I’ve tried calling but there hasn’t been any answer.”

“I hope he’s alright,” Holly sought to console her friend.

“Anyway, when I found out, I gave up Freshman Homecoming Princess to Rhonda Davies,” recounted Kelly as she and Holly entered the lab for their computer science class. “I really hadn’t thought about any second choice for a Knight-Escort. Brandon was the only one I ever had in mind.”

“Even though he and Jenny Chang are a couple now?”

“Yes, because he’d still have agreed to do it,” affirmed Kelly as they took their accustomed seats. “Brandon’s always been a team player. He’s the kinda guy who’s really into school traditions. He gets into showing school spirit, too.”

Holly thought back to the Brandon MacDonald whom she had known all through elementary school and middle school. “Y’know, I can see that. If boys could be cheerleaders, he’d be a good one.”

“Youre prob’ly right, Holly,” agreed Kelly. “Although I can’t imagine that ever happening.”

“Since you’re not gonna be a Homecoming Princess, what will you be doing at the game and for the dance?”

“The tradition for Homecoming is that we junior varsity cheerleaders join with the varsity cheer squad at the game tonight.”

“So you’ll be cheering, then?”

“Yes,” affirmed Kelly. “I really need to cheer tonight. It should help me keep my mind off Brandon.”

“Any prospects for a date to the dance tomorrow night?”

Kelly suddenly imagined herself at the Homecoming Dance with Holly, slow-dancing and deep-kissing. Holly’s scent strongly appealed to Kelly, who began to experience wetness. And once again, Kelly felt a little tingling run through her body as she sat next to her friend.

Recently, the only respite that Kelly’d had from obsessing over Brandon came by thinking about Holly. She needed to talk with someone about these feelings, but with whom? She was still afraid to discuss this with Mom or Dad—certainly not with her priest. Maybe Miss San-Giacomo? No, because the coach might kick Kelly off the cheer squad if she thought her attracted to one of the other cheerleaders.

Maybe Dr. Van de Meer would be safe to talk with? And she might know others to whom she could talk about it.

“Kelly, you okay?” Holly inquired gently. “You seem distracted.”

“That’s ’cause I am,” sighed Kelly. “Brandon and Homecoming and everything—it’s all a bit much for me just now.”

“I’m sorry!” Holly pouted as she wrapped her arms around Kelly in a hug. She had no idea that her purely innocent embrace further deepened Kelly’s sexual response. “No one should hafta go through all this right now.”

Brandon figured that Jenny would just be setting her laptop computer up in Earth Science right then, so he decided to approach her by using the school’s Instant Messaging utility. Her computer chimed gently.

©2013 by Anam Chara