“Randy?” my big sister said when she answered the phone.

“Hey, sis! I need to talk to you.” I said with a quivering voice.

“What’s wrong, babe?” she asked sounding concerned. She always calls me babe which I loved.

“Well, dad and I had a fight and I….I started getting angry and upset and I….I…”, I tried to say but then I started crying a lot again.

“Shhhh…it’s okay babe. Listen, why don’t you calm down for a minute and we will talk about it. Okay? One of my classmates was supposed to meet me in a bit but I will tell her to meet later or cancel. Before we talk about why you are upset, tell me what you did after school today?” she said calmly.

I took a deep breath and felt a bit better. Then I remembered Sammy. “Well, I ran into this girl from my math class at Macys and we exchanged phone numbers and she will come over to our house to hang out and …” I said a little excitedly when Mary interrupted me.

“Wait a minute! A girl is coming over to our house to spend time with you? Like on a date? Oh, babe! I am so proud of you!” she said kind of giddy.

“Well, thanks Mary. But it is not really a date. It’s just two friends hanging out.” I insisted.

“Are you sure about that? Is she cute?” she asked me teasingly.

“Actually, she is very cute. I like her a lot already. I hope we will become friends.” I stated.

“I hope you will, too. Tell me everything that happened. Okay, babe?” Mary insisted.

“I will.” I said truthfully.

“So, why did dad and you fight?” she asked me.

“Oh, he brought up the soccer try outs and he said I am not trying hard enough making new friends.” I told her.

“Babe, I am sorry about that. I know it is hard for you. Dad should be happy you met this girl.” Mary said.

“That’s what mom said too. I left the dinner table and started crying. Mary, you are the best sister anyone could ask for. You always help me. I love you so much!” I said, crying again.

“Oh, babe! You are the best br…other any big sister could ask for. I love you too! Listen, why don’t we pick this up after your date. Will you be okay?” she asked me in a gentle voice.

“I think so.” I answered.

“Good. Make sure you don’t leave out any details when you tell me about your date. Also, please send me a selfie of you two. I want to see how she looks like, okay?” my sister insisted.

“I will! Thanks, Mary! Love you!” I told her.

“Love you too, babe!” Mary responded and hung up.

I felt much better after this conversation. I love my whole family but I think I love Mary a little bit more and I think she knows. I would not know what to do without her. With my heart feeling warm and fuzzy, I decided to read one of my Harry Potter books. I loved all the characters but especially Hermione Granger. I adore how smart and strong she is. I feel that way about Mary too. She graduated high school with a 4.0 GPA and is already very successful in College. She is self-confident, gentle, caring and kind. Sometimes I imagine to be one of those characters like in the Harry Potter books and then I get lost reading and lose track of time. Every time I have to face reality again I feel sad. I need this escape. Sometimes I wish I could run away from my secret but I can’t. Sammy discovered it quickly and I think Mary knows but I am not sure. When she comes home for the Thanksgiving break I need to tell her. I need to spill my beans but I am not sure how. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

“Who is it?’ I asked.

“It’s me” my dad said quietly. “Can I come in?” he asked me.

“Sure” I said a little hesitantly. The door opened and he slowly walked in.

“Listen, Randy. I wanted to apologize to you. I was not trying to be mean. I just hope you will make more friends. I know the last year at school wasn’t easy for you.” he said calmly.

“Thanks, dad. I know. I talked to Mary about it.” I told him.

“Okay, son. So, is everything okay?” he asked me.

“Yes, dad. Thanks for apologizing.” I said truthfully.

“You are welcome!” he answered and seemed a bit lost. I could see it in his eyes that he often doesn’t know how to talk about feelings. He closed the door and went back downstairs. I usually dread going back to school. Not because of the academics. I do well with that usually but the social interactions are tough. I never feel I fit in with any group or anybody. However, I was very much looking forward to math class tomorrow. I took a shower, brushed my teeth and drifted off to sleep lost in thought.

The alarm woke me up at six o’clock sharp. I yawned and slowly tried to wake up. I could hear breakfast noises downstairs in the kitchen. My mom works part time at a real estate firm and gets up early too. On the days, she is off, she takes good care of the house and everything else. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and combed my hair a bit. It is shoulder length and I like it that way. Even though dad always bugs me about getting a haircut. I went back to my room, picked out my clothes (jeans & sweatshirt) and got dressed. The thought that I would love to have a few dresses and skirts occurred to me (like every morning) but then I quickly moved on. I walked downstairs and saw mom in the kitchen cooking eggs and bacon.

“Good Morning! That smells yummy, mom.” I told her.

“Good Morning, honey. Have a seat and try some of these delicious eggs and bacon” my mom replied.

“Sure, thanks!” I said grabbing a chair. My mom is a great cook. She can whip up a five-star meal with little ingredients and time. She put a nice portion on my plate and I was excited to try it. I took a first bite and it tasted delicious.

“Mom, that is fantastic. Thank you!” I complimented her.

“Thanks, honey. So, are you looking forward to math class today?” my mom asked me with a big grin on her face.

“Well, yes!” I admitted. I could not wait.

“I hope you and Sammy will become friends. Just be yourself!” my mom assured me. Myself? Who was that person?

“I will do my best.” I told her.

“Great. Mary texted me that you two had a good talk last night.” she mentioned. “Listen, I am sorry about last night. Your dad did not want to hurt your feelings. I discussed the matter with him. He just hopes this school year will be better for you.” my mom remarked.

“I understand, mom. I just felt very hurt but I know he means well.” I said. I had to get ready for school. “Mom, I need to finish up.” I urged her and got ready to leave.

“Sure, honey. Please make sure to give me Sammy’s home phone number so I can call her parents and introduce myself and ask permission for her to come here.” my mom requested.

“I will ask Sammy and text you the number during my lunch and then you can call them.” I assured her.

“Okay, honey. Have a nice day!” she called.

“Thanks mom, I will” I yelled while grabbing my backpack and running out the door.

I made my way to the bus stop with a little bit of time to spare. It was slowly getting colder in New Hampshire so I wore my jacket, gloves and a hat. A few other students were standing there and I joined them. Quick nods were exchanged but nobody wanted to talk. I noticed two girls standing there right away. One of the girls was blonde and she had shoulder length hair. She wore a purple and black winter coat, purple sweater, black skirt and black tights. The other girl had long brunette hair. She wore a black winter coat, a pink sweater, a black skirt and black tights. I loved their outfits. I pictured myself in them and started day dreaming again. Then Sammy popped in my head and I had to smile. The bus arrived and everybody got on.

I took my seat in the middle next to a boy named Danny who is kind of a nerd. We sometimes talk but today nobody seemed to be in the mood for chit-chat. I was more occupied with Sammy anyways. The bus made its way through our small town. I looked at the trees, the little coffee shop named “Claire’s Café” where my sister sometimes takes me to for a hot chocolate, the cozy little grocery store which is owned by a nice old man named Al, past the theater that shows great plays and many other places that are so familiar to me. It seemed that most people were still asleep and I envied them a bit. The bus ride was over soon and we had to get back in the cold.

I walked into the building and went straight to my locker. I emptied part of my backpack and started to get ready for the day. Next, I found myself a seat in the commons area and settled a bit. I observed the other students walking by. I especially looked at the girls and their outfits. I felt admiration but also a bit envious. The bell rang and I had to go to my English class. The teacher, Miss Roberts was strict and you got into trouble if you were late. I settled in my seat and got out my homework. Class went by quickly. Sammy occupied my mind the whole time of course. Next was biology class, which I did not care for. After that I had a study hall and then it was finally time for math class. When I walked in, Sammy was already there.

She walked up to me and said: “Hi Randy, how are you?”.

“Great!” I responded with a big smile on my face.

“Can we sit together at lunch? I need to ask you a few things about Saturday.” she wanted to know.

“Absolutely!” I replied beaming with happiness. I noticed some weird looks from my classmates but they seemed to be occupied again with other things quickly. During class, I looked at Sammy as much as I could without looking suspicious. After math, I had geography class and after that it was time for lunch. I hurried through the big halls of Sanford Junior High to the cafeteria. When I entered the cafeteria, I felt excited but also nervous. I got my food, settled down at my usual spot and kept looking for Sammy. Suddenly, she was standing next to me with her tray in her hand.

“Mind if I sit down?” she asked me.

“Absolutely!” I responded.

“I usually sit with my friends over there.” she said pointing at three other girls who waved at us. They all seemed very pretty, even from far. “But today I like to sit with you. So, our date still stands for Saturday?” she asked me, smiling.

“Yes, of course. My mom wanted your parents phone number so she can ask permission for you to come to my house on Saturday. Is that okay?” I inquired.

“Not a problem. Wait, I will text it to you.” Sammy said while getting out her phone. She texted me the number and then I texted it to my mom.

“I am very excited you are coming over. My secret is still safe with you, right?” I asked while I lowered my voice.

“No worries, I will not tell a soul.” she assured me, gently putting her hand on my arm. “You seem like a nice person and the whole pantyhose thing makes you interesting.” she told me.

“Let’s talk in detail about this on Saturday. Will we have privacy in your room or will your mom insist on leaving the door open?” Sammy asked me cautiously.

“I think we can probably close it most of the way. I will talk to my mom.” I responded.

“Great, can’t wait! Listen, lunch is almost over. Got to go. Text or call me later.” Sammy said in her bubbly and delightful way and left my table.

The rest of the school day went by in a flash. I came home with a big smile on my face. The bus stop was near my house. I almost skipped down our street. I used my key to open the door. I entered an empty house. My mom must have gone to the store. I know my dad was working late again. I had the house to myself. I found a note on the fridge that said: Dinner in here. That must mean mom will be home later.

Sure enough I received a text from her that read: Honey, I have to work late again. So does your dad. Supper is in the fridge. Heat it up in the microwave. I talked to Sammy’s mom. They are coming over at 2 PM on Saturday. Love you!

They? Is her mom coming too? Or both of her parents? I panicked. I texted my mom back and then I texted Sammy. I wrote: I heard you are coming on Saturday at 2. Will your mom and dad come as well?

She replied: No silly! My mom will drop me off, introduce herself and then it is all us. I was relieved but also nervous to meet her mom.

I threw myself on the couch and started reading a book but I could not focus. Sammy occupied my mind. I also thought about Mary a lot. What was she doing at this moment? I might send her a text later. Tomorrow was only Friday. I had to get through another day of school. What would I wear for my date and what will we discuss?

Fortunately, Friday went by quickly. During math class Sammy and I briefly talked and the rest of the day I could not focus. I came home from school and settled in my room. I wanted to get my homework out of the way which was hard because Saturday was on my mind. I got it done and then played a computer game. After a while, my mom called me down announcing that we will go out for pizza. I was excited. I loved Enrico’s pizza.

I put on a nice sweater, went downstairs and saw my parents both sitting in the living room. “Hi Randy!” they both said.

“Hi mom and dad! Are we going out soon?” I asked.

“In a bit, we wanted to talk to you about Saturday first.” my mom said. Oh no! They both looked very serious. Will I get a lecture now?

“Listen Randy, Sammy seems very nice but I don’t want you to get your hopes up too much. She might not want to be your girlfriend.” my mom said in a serious voice.” I was not sure what to say.

“Mom, it’s not like that. I just want to be her friend. Nothing more.” I insisted.

“I understand, honey. I was just trying to prepare you for that in case it happens. However, I want you to enjoy this time with her. Okay?” my mom asked me cautiously.

“Sure. Can we go eat now?” I asked sounding a little annoyed.

“Yes” both of my parents responded at the same time.

We got in the car and started driving through our little town. It was past 5 PM and already getting dark. I loved this time of the year. Soon it will be Christmas and my big sister will be home. I was very sad and upset when she left for College. Especially, because she studies on the other side of the country. Oregon was far away. However, I will be glad she is coming home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even though it was expensive and time consuming. My parents and I wanted her home for both holidays and she gladly agreed. Mary has been my first role model. She is successful with school, she has a lot of friends and she is a kind and caring person. Lost in my thoughts, we pulled into the parking lot of Enrico’s. I was hungry and ready to eat.

We were seated right away and settled in. A waiter gave us menus and asked what we wanted to drink. I ordered an unsweetened iced tea and my parents both order wine. After the waiter left, my dad smiled at me and said: “How was your week at school?”.

“Not bad! I did well on the last biology exam, even though I don’t like the class that much.”. I told him.

“That is wonderful. Good job, Randy!” he said beaming with pride. My mom also smiled. The waiter came back taking our orders. I ordered my favorite pizza. Sausage and pepperoni.

When he left again, my mom said: “I spoke to Mary this morning! She took a side job as a waitress at a local restaurant. That means her time for studying will be even less but I am sure she will manage.” my mom said convincingly. I am sure she will manage I thought. She can manage anything.

“Did she say anything else?” I asked curiously.

“Her studies are going well and she is excited to be coming home for Thanksgiving to see us soon.” my mom replied. “Oh, and she said she will text you tonight.” my mom added.

“Great!” I said enthusiastically. The pizza arrived and we started eating. It was delicious as always. While eating, I had to think about revealing my secret to Mary and discussing it with Sammy. It made me feel uneasy. I can sense that Mary already knows but then again, I am not sure. Nobody knows me better than Mary though. The real challenge will be discussing it with mom and dad. My stomach turned into a knot which I tried to ignore. We finished our meals and got ourselves ready to leave.

My mom walked behind me and gently touched my shoulders. “Everything okay, honey?” she asked me. “You seem a bit sad there suddenly” she seemed to notice.

“I am fine, mom” I lied to her as we walked out. Our drive home was quick and event less. I went into my room, put on some comfortable clothes and settled into the living room with a good book. My dad was watching a football game and my mom was doing something in the kitchen. After a while of reading, my cell phone text alert beeped and I saw it was Mary. The text read: “Time for a chat?”. Yes! Of course, I thought. I replied and excused myself to my room.

A minute later the phone rang and Mary said: “How is my babe?”

“I am good. We just had dinner at Enrico’s. Now I am lounging at home. Mom told me about your new job. When will you start?” I asked her.

“Not until next week. I am a little nervous because I have never worked as a waitress before. It probably will be overwhelming.” she said sharing her thoughts.

“I bet you will do very well. I am so proud of you!” I told her. Hearing this, she laughed gently.

“Thanks, babe! More importantly, are you ready for your big day tomorrow?” she inquired and I bet I could sense her smile over there in Oregon.

“As ready as can be. I just will try to be myself and have a good time. However, but I am still nervous. I hope Sammy will like me.” I expressed to Mary.

“She would be a fool not to. You are a very sweet person. Anyways, I got to go soon. I am going to a little party some of my friends here organized.” she told me. I felt a little jealous hearing this. Will there be boys? Probably. Will they hit on my Mary? Most likely. She is the prettiest girl I know.

“Mary, I just wanted to thank you for treating me like an equal even though I am eight years younger than you. You show so much respect and caring for me. That is why I love you so much!” I told her getting a little teary.

“Oh, babe. I love you too and of course I respect you and care about you. You are my only bro..ther. Now, have a nice time tomorrow and don’t forget to send me that selfie with the two of you, okay?” she requested.

“I will. Good night, sis! Love you!” I said yawning a bit.

“Good night, babe. Love you too!” she said gently and hung up.

After getting a shower, brushing my teeth and putting on my pajamas I started drifting off to sleep. One of my last thoughts was about that hesitation in Mary’s voice when she said the word brother. I noticed that the last few times. I think she knows.