I got my suitcase and went to my room to take out one of my bras. I figured that undoing my binding and showing that I had breasts would be the best way to start. However when I opened my suitcase it wasn’t what I was expecting, yes there were bras in there but also a variety of skirts and dresses and, more importantly, none of my pants. The very unladylike curse words I yelled at seeing this drew the attention of Amy and Yuki, them quickly knocking on my door.
Yuki: “Are you OK in there, it sounded like you got hurt?”
“Yeah I’m fine, physically at least. I wanted to show you in a different way but this might get the message across even better, you can come in now.”
Selene chapter 3
“So Alex, you OK, what made you so upset?” Yuki started
“Well if you look at the bed you can see why I might be a tad angry.”
Kim: “It’s a suitcase full of clothes, what’s wrong with that?”
Yuki: “OMG, look closer doofus, these aren’t his clothes, he got the wrong suitcase at the airport! I’m so sorry Alex, I can see that this is going to be an issue what with the dress codes and all.”
“Sadly you’re only half right, yes it’s going to be an issue but this is my suitcase, or rather these are my clothes. My mother in her infinite wisdom has deemed it alright to switch my suitcase filled with trousers for this one filled with skirts, what the heck am I supposed to do now? I can’t wear this!”
“I dunno, they look fine to me.” Kim says holding up a long flower patterned pink sundress. “You mind if I borrow this sometime?”
“You can have that thing if you want, can we focus on the big issue here? I can’t wear this the other guys would totally ridicule me, and I can’t not wear this because of the stupid dress code thing, the shorts I’m wearing now are too short. I have to sit out half the trip at this rate!”
I was starting to get a bit frantic here as Kim seems completely oblivious to what problems this might cause.
As Kim left for her room with the dress Yuki, seeing I’m having a mild panic attack by now, grabs my arm and gently leads me to the sofa and gets me a glass of water. “OK Alex, take a deep breath and calm down, we can think of something but first I would really like to know why your mother would do such a thing to her own son?”
“Mom always wanted a daughter…” I said silently
“So? A lot of women do, but this is the first time I heard of one pushing her son into it. OMG is that why you look like that, is she feeding you hormones!?” Yuki responded in anger.
“WHAT! No, nononono it’s not quite that bad. See she really wanted a daughter and when I was born and wasn’t she sunk into a depression. Apparently it had something to do with a hormone surge during the last stage or something. Anyway she never pushed me into this until “these” happened.” As I said those last few words I reached under my shirt to undo the bandages that held my C-cup breasts flat. When I pulled out the bandages from underneath my shirt Yuki’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets, and Kim returned at that moment from her room wearing the pink abomination.
Kim: “Thanks so much for the dress Alex, are you sure you don’t want it, I think it would suit you too, at least better than the stuff you usually wear.”
“Kim! Have you really forgotten I’m a boy or are you messing with my head right now, if the latter please do me a favour and get out before I say something I might regret.”
Kim is a bit taken aback by this and responds “What do you mean you’re a boy, a few minutes ago you said yourself that you were a girl.”
“What? No I didn’t when did I say that?”
Kim: “Just now when we were outside, you said you weren’t a crossdresser despite wearing girls’ clothing, ergo you’re a girl.”
“How does that even… sigh, never mind well spotted. Changing the subject, don’t you spot anything different about me right now? Speaking of which, Yuki! Eyes up here!” I yell at Yuki who has been staring at my breasts for all this time and I could swear she was almost drooling. I used my arm to cover them (I wasn’t wearing a bra and only a thin shirt after all). This seems to snap Yuki out of her trance.
Yuki: “Sorry about that Alex, but you can’t blame me for being surprised at you having those. They’re even bigger than mine for pete’s sake. But why do you have them if your mother hasn’t been feeding you hormones?”
Kim: “Am I missing something here? Alex is a girl, she obviously grew them during puberty, the question should be why on earth she wanted to pretend to be a boy all this time. Especially since she wasn’t fooling anyone.”
Yuki: “What do you mean Alex is a girl? Alex has always been a boy even her… I mean his passport says he’s male.”
“You’re both right actually. Legally I’m male, for now at least. But for all practical intends and purposes I might as well be female. It’s going to take a bit of a biology lesson to explain this properly but here’s the short version. I was born male but puberty decided to go the female route without my permission might I add.”
Yuki: “So you’re intersex, and this is completely natural?” I nodded. “Ok it’s good that your mother hasn’t caused this but couldn’t the doctor’s do something about this, like give you testosterone shots, or did your mother prevent you from seeking medical help?”
“Oh she raised a fuss alright. She didn’t take well from what she saw as the best thing that has ever happened to her being taken away again. But I did see the doctor; it’s just that they can’t do anything about this.”
Kim: “Firstly why are we blaming Alex’ mother? Secondly what do you mean the doctors can’t do anything about this? I saw something on TV about women who want to be men taking testosterone and it worked quite well, they were quite hunky.”
“Yuki jumped to conclusions about my mother because she stranded me in Rome without any male clothing because I wasn’t dressing girly enough for her tastes. As for the medical thing, testosterone doesn’t work for me, my body ignores it. They could pump my body full of the stuff and it wouldn’t do a thing, in fact that’s how this got discovered in the first place. My own body was producing such ungodly amounts of testosterone that it was destroying my liver. In the end they had to have me castrated. I have to take estrogens now to stay healthy.”
Yuki: “OMG I’m so sorry for you, this must have been hell. Although I must ask, why didn’t you go to the doctor as soon as your, you know, started to grow?”
“That one is because of my mother, I was afraid that she would push me into girlhood, not completely unsubstantiated I might add so I hid them. Although she clearly wasn’t happy about undoing things, she did allow me to try at least. Of course once it became clear that wasn’t going to work she did start pushing, hard.”
Yuki: “I can’t even imagine what you’re going through but maybe she’s right. At least when it became clear that you can’t look male ever… wouldn’t it be easier to just live life as a woman?”
“I discovered this around four years ago and I’ve long since made my peace by living life as a woman.”
Kim: “So why the guy disguise?”
“Fear, you have no idea how much abuse I’ve suffered for being “gay” or a “sissy”. I just can’t suddenly tell everyone I’m going to live life as a girl from now on. Things would only get worse. I was planning to go living full time as a girl once I went to college. Which brings me back to the current problem, what am I going to do tomorrow?”
Yuki: “Honestly I don’t think that’s true, I mean everyone in our school who isn’t in our class thinks you’re a girl already, and I hate to brake it to you but their “gay” insults are about you being a lesbian. I overheard some girls in the bathroom the other day.”
“Even if that’s true there’s still the people in our class, especially Jordy. It is just much easier to keep up the charade, it’s only a little more over a year to go after all….”
Kim: “A year is long time hon, and I can’t imagine you squishing your boobs is comfortable, maybe you should take this as an opportunity instead. The only guy you really have to worry about is Jordy, and he has to share the caravan with Kelly and the other guys whom I’m pretty sure would all defend you if he were to get nasty about it.”
“Maybe, I’ll think about it. It would be nice to not have to bind anymore… but I’m still afraid this is not a good idea”
“What is not a good idea?!” a voice suddenly says making us all jump up.
Yuki: “Nothing Miss Karen.”
“It’s a long story Miss Karen, and perhaps better explained after dinner.”
Miss Karen: “Yes about that, Mr. Johnson forgot to tell you but shorts or skirts above the knee isn’t allowed in the restaurant we’re going to tonight either. I’ve been going around telling people they need to change before we leave in 30 mins.” With this she takes a better look at what we’re wearing to see if we need to change, Yuki and Kim are told they’re fine, then she gets to me...
Author's notes: So we get the massive infodump out of the way. I can't say I'm too happy about how this flows so if anyone has suggestions, please tell me so I can revise this part. Other comments are also highly appreciated.
Comments
I think you have a great
I think you have a great story going :) I agree with you on the flow of the chapter but I'm not sure how to change it. Sorry
But I do like the story
I appreciate your concern
It read OK to me, I didn't find myself urging you to get a move on! If you are unhappy, so much to the good, it means that with practice you should improve. Your first attempt is much better than work from other much more productive authors (who might be regarded as insufficiently self critical).
Keep it going!
Don't worry
You've given the outline and background about Selene's situation and why her appearance causes confusion. If we wanted to be pickety we could say the teachers would have been made fully aware of his/her condition and the need to segregate him/her. But that is part of the fun of stories like this when 'authors license' takes over. You have left the chapter at a point where Selene has no choice but to conform thus outing her to the rest of the party so you can decide if the teachers were really in the know and had approval from Selenes mum to let her enjoy the experience. It might be a logical step if you want to focus more on Selene being accepted and how she naturally fits in. Or you could carry on using as much license as you like and put Selene in some awkward situations that force him to come to terms with the changes.
That's just my take on it if it helps. I don't intend to influence you just to show that the flow is fine. It's a good story and a nice problem for Selena to have. Size 'C's' set free at last so should she bind or not in all that heat?.
Jules
Mom's desire
So mom switched suitcases, in her infinite wisdom. Mom is in need of some serious counseling. Very serious.
Because of mom's over zealous attitude at wanting a daughter, she has put Alex in a very precarious situation. One which could be very harmful to him should anybody take exception to how he's dressed. Because of what she has done, she could end up with a dead son.
As to the length of each part of this story, I find them adequate. As to the story progression, it's fine, back story is being explained, problems are being explained, though someone needs to shake Kim to see if anything rattles in her head.
It is possible to have too long of a chapter, a chapter filled with too much information, trying to tell the story to fast. Likewise, to short of a chapter and the story drags.
So far, this story flows nicely, providing information as it's needed. Such as Alex now needing to explain his condition to Yuki and bubble head Kim.
Personally, keep doing what you're doing. Keep the flow as you have done. As situations arise, explain them and any back story. And shake Kim to see what she has for a brain. ;-)
Others have feelings too.
Kim
Kim isn't so much brainless as she is clueless. She came across a strange situation, she got an anser that logically makes sense and she can't even phathom that someone might have a problem with it (Alex himself for starters), let alone might be inclined to do physical harm.
The info dump was okay, don't
The info dump was okay, don't worry.
Jordy's problem isn't what everyone thinks, I think...
I think Jordy wants to be with Alex but is upset because he thinks he's gay and attracted to a boy, but the boy in this case is effectively a girl who, from all appearances, wants to be a boy. Boy is Jordy confused. So he's angry whenever he sees Alex. I think they're going to be a couple.
Edit after reading the other comments: Huh? The chapter reads quite well and flows nicely. I guess it's personal preference but I disagree with anyone who think's it doesn't. Everyone has a different style and different preferences so if you like the story say so. As for me, keep writing the same style since it works for you and this story. Above all, keep adding to the story.
Thanks for posting it.
Chris