Covered Bridges-11.

*Before…

“Okay and Haley?”
“Yes?”
“Thanks for doing this. It’s really cool.”
“Well Frank’s a really nice guy and this is a lot more fun than spending the evenings watching cable in my hotel room.”
I slip through the doors and I go back to cooking.
I can feel Robyn watching my sway.
The gravy has been going full boil since I had it on and the stock is reduced right to where I want it for the amount of people I’m serving I drain off the potatoes and add butter and start to mash them and add some of the instant potato soup stopping to taste a little to get the texture where I want them.
I do the beans and carrots in a shallow pan of water and they cook while I set the dining room table with the other ladies. Of course we’re talking about what I made and they love the hock added to it and I admit I learn a few new ideas that Betty came up with for that and with the wicker place mats for the dishes soon there’s piping chops and all the fixings out and I have the apple bombs out and cooling off.
Frank has this big smile on his face as we’re all sitting around his table and everyone looks happy too and I take hands and look at everyone.
“Anyone want to say grace?”
Frank does the job and we all hold hands and I love the way this all feels and then we’re tucking into the supper.
I’ve missed this family dinner feeling, I think that they have too.

*And Now…

It’s a fun meal too; well it is for me because well there’s honestly something that I’ve pulled from my old life and all my relatives about women and cooking.

Well women and feeding people that comes from a lot of times that were actually pretty good times home.

And it’s extremely gratifying seeing them all eating and I do enjoy the comments and compliments but it’s validating for me too.

Frank’s all smiles eating the apple bombs. “These are really good it’s like the best part of a baked apple and a pie with a little bit of apple crisp in the middle.”

“It’s a pretty easy recipe so it’s one of my favorites and even good with some vanilla ice cream.”

“Well whoever you end up with they’re going to be a lucky fella.”

I smile. “Thank you but I’m not even holding out on that Frank. I am looking for love but I’m not going to limit myself.”

He sneaks a look at Robyn who shot a look at me and it was kind of a long and wondering look from her.

We finish and the men go outside to smoke and I make coffee for them to take outside with them and I start to do the dishes.

Robyn comes into the kitchen and she starts to help with putting things away and scraping the dishes as I get the sinks ready.

It’s quiet for a few minutes before she looks at me. “So you’re Bi?’

“Pretty much, I like people more than sexes or genders really.”

“But you like men.”

“I do, I definitely do.”

She’s quiet for a few minutes. “Sometimes people like who can be with other people make me nervous.”

I look at her as I’m putting on rubber gloves to wash the dishes. “Why?”

“I’m a lesbian, so I just date women. It’s just there’s this whole thing with what if she meets a guy?”

“Odds are unless she’s a gold star lesbian that’s only ever been with women you’re going to meet someone that’s been with men.”

Robyn nods. “And that’s okay I mean there’s people that didn’t know, there’s women that thought that being gay wasn’t an option and just went through the motions of being straight. It’s just I’m not sure that if I was dating a Bi woman that she might not find a guy and leave or like even just like do things with is she was like open and dating…I couldn’t handle a girl that recently had sex with a guy and me going down on her.”

“You do know that all sorts of people are crappy and cheat and that when a Bi woman showers or bathes and cleans up that you’re not getting sloppy seconds.”

She shivers. “Yeah but it still squicks me out.”

I sigh and start washing dishes. “Well I’m going to be a pretty big disappointment if you were interested then.”

She starts to dry and she looking at me. “You were with a guy recently I take it?”

“Well actually yes and I was in a pretty much full month long relationship with him and while as good as it was there was just not that missing thing.”

“Thing?”

“Pop, feeling, the breathless oh wow.”

“That might be fictional Haley.”

“I still believe in it, Frank had that with Betty.”

Robyn starts putting plates back after drying each one but she asks. “So with me thinking you’re going to be a disappointment it’s from you being with that guy or is it that you don’t think really that it‘ll be a girl that you fall for.”

I sigh and take a breath. “No it’s more or less I don’t think that you’ll be into the fact that I’m a pre-op trans woman.”

She stops drying a bowl that was used for the beans and she’s staring at me…and staring at me and she’s not just staring at me but she’s scrutinizing me.

I keep washing dishes.

I want to do a lot of things but flipping out or crying or getting upset in a hundred different ways won’t change things.

She even goes to say something twice with false starts and she finally says. “I couldn’t tell.”

“I know, I’ve had work done but I’ve been in transition for a long time to the point of that’s pretty much the one and only final step.”

“And you flirted with me knowing that you’re…well…that you’re trans?”

“I like to flirt and I know some inclusive people.”

“I like women, I’m a lesbian.”

“I’m a woman.”

She looks like she was going to do the typical and yet she keeps her mouth shut.

She works her jaw but she keeps her mouth shut.

Works her jaw again…then she sets down the dishtowel and she says with a pretty clenched jaw. “Thank you for telling me.”

“You’re welcome.”

She leaves after that without helping me finish and she is definitely unhappy with me.

I hate it and I sort of get why because there’s a lot of people that are very much against trans people of any kind and for a lot of reasons too.

Brazil was bad at times with that which is why we had the compound where we lived.

But there’s always some of person and with me it does come from a lot of this really hardcore almost purist part of the gay and lesbian communities where the idea of trans and gay trans folks of dating trans folks even if they’re not the ones dating us just pisses people off.

Like I said I hate it, but I’m no stranger to it and that lets me let what just happened between Robyn and myself go.

She’ll either come around after a while or she won’t.

I’m well past the point of getting involved at proving myself to her or anyone else.

She’s not paying my bills or dating me so there’s no reason for me to get invested in what she thinks of me.

I clean everything up and Frank comes in with his coffee cup and he gets a refill.

“So you told Robyn eh?”

“You knew?”

“Nope not a bit she told me.”

“Sorry.”

“Piffle, you’re a nice woman Haley. I’m too old not to haven’t met folks like you and I’m too old not to have learned that it’s your life. You’re a nice person Haley and that’s all that matters despite what Robyn in thinking.”

I go over and kiss his cheek. “Thank you frank that’s something I love to hear.”

He smiles and kisses my cheek back. “Well she’s angry and that’s because she’s disappointed.”

“I gathered that much.”

“She’s looking to Haley, she’s met a few girls but it’s never really worked out and she’s definitely not met anyone that’s as honest and still old fashioned in good ways like you before…she’s smarting because she got her hopes up.”

“I sort of did too but she’s a beautiful girl, she’s worth flirty with even if to just see it cheer her up and smile.”

He nods. “Well we’re going to start setting up for cards so I can either drive you home now or you can get dealt in.”

“Deal me in, what are we playing?”

“Gin rummy.”

“I haven’t played that since I was a kid.”

I pour myself a coffee and join him and the rest at the table and a few lights get turned off and the radio gets turned on and I love that radio with it being one of those old cabinet ones with the built in turntable.

And if any of the others know they don’t say a thing as we start to play and talk.